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Mar 31 2012

Titanoboa!

Hey, that sounds familiar. The monster snake is getting some new attention, with a life-size replica installed in Grand Central Station, and to be featured in a documentary on the Smithsonian Channel (which I don’t get, and never heard of until now) tomorrow.

The documentary might be a little bit cheesy, but it still looks fun.

OK, a lot cheesy.

(Also on Sb)

63 comments

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  1. 1
    'Tis Himself

    As the eminent philosopher, Yogi Berra, put it so well: “It’s déjà vu all over again.”

  2. 2
    lordofsporks

    Cool, but Youtube won’t let me watch it because it’s blocked in my country. :(

  3. 3
    chigau (違う)

    The uploader has not made this video available in your country.

  4. 4
    Glen Davidson

    From the Designer’s “bigger is better” phase.

    Admittedly, that was a lot more interesting than its “microscopic is better” phase.

    Glen Davidson

  5. 5
    Inaji

    the Smithsonian Channel (which I don’t get, and never heard of until now)

    Same here. Just did some searching and I can get it, but only if I toss a whole lot more money at a certain sat TV service. They get enough already, so I’ll have to live without it.

  6. 6
    Menyambal

    Former New Yorker pedantry:

    It isn’t “Grand Central Station”.

    It is “Grand Central Terminal.”

    The track ends there. The only thing that goes on through is the subway.

  7. 7
    Larry

    Why must the lizard king and the big snake have to fight to the death all the time? Why can’t they just be friends?

    Yeah, that video had more cheese than a fondue.

  8. 8
    sabazinus

    Wasn’t this movie on the SyFy channel just last week? Or was that Two Headed Titanoboa Vs Python Vs Dinoshark Vs Debbie Gibson?

  9. 9
    jamesevans

    King Kong beat them both. Sure, it took him 40 years and two different movies, but whatever.

  10. 10
    Sili

    Is it still gonna be there in October?

  11. 11
    billygutter01

    Is it still gonna be there in October?

    Perhaps. Unless Mothra flies in and eats it.

  12. 12
    jacksprocket

    Whisht lads and haald yer gobs…

    It’s the Lambton Worm! Feared by Geordies and Maccas for hundreds of years, vanquished by Brave Sir John, and now preserved in Central Station.. but it doesn’t look much like Newcassel Central..

  13. 13
    Owlmirror

    This phenomena of gigantism was described in the Bible before actual fossil discoveries were made: Genesis 6:4 – “There were giants in the earth in those days…”

    /Ouroboros

  14. 14
    Louis

    Mine’s bigger.

    Louis

  15. 15
    llewelly

    Bah. One tenth to one eighth of a cephalopod.

  16. 16
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    Does this mean we have to spawn yet another undying thread?

    I must say, though, it looks quite impressive.

  17. 17
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Maybe Alan Clarke will come back.

  18. 18
    Wowbagger, Designated Snarker

    I couldn’t help but look back at the old Titanoboa thread back at Sb. Those were some good times…

  19. 19
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    Those were some good times…

    Trolls seemed more, oh, I dunno, original? back then. Like, do realize how rare it is to read something originally trollish? Hell, even the terminally incoherent dano dropped Pascal on us.

    Damn.

    Quality control should be fired.

  20. 20
    Pteryxx

    Mine’s bigger.

    Louis

    Maybe, but you only have one.

  21. 21
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    Maybe, but you only have one.

    Like I was saying about quality control . . . .

  22. 22
    ss123

    How did they fit that thing on the Ark?!

  23. 23
    'Tis Himself

    Maybe Alan Clarke will come back.

    Or his lovely assistant, RogerS.

  24. 24
    Louis

    Pteryxx,

    Not true, not true. I have a breeding pair of titanoboas…

    …why? What did you think I mea….Ohhhh! OH! No! Not THAT!

    Louis

  25. 25
    Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    sabazinus :

    Perhaps you’re thinking of ‘Mega Python vs Gatoroid’

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ov7OiLOoG2c&feature=related>

    I just watched a trailer for the latter. I think it might
    be fun to sit around and get drunk and/or blazed and watch several Asylum films over the course of a weekend. I wonder if they deliberately put out C-List, cheesy and/or knock-off movies, knowing all the while that it’s over the top tongue in cheek…or if they think they’re putting out quality entertainment.
    Where is my cynicism going to take me?

  26. 26
    fallingwhale

    Any reason the snake flies 40 feet to kill something it can’t eat?

  27. 27
    andyo

    Could that thing even move on land that quick? How could it move at all?

    Also, if the one in the photo is a life-sized replica, then I suppose the human there isn’t life-sized? That doesn’t seem like 13 meters.

  28. 28
    andyo

    OK, and the “3 Eiffel Towers” thing, I assume they mean “squished” if you were the size of the base of the tower?

  29. 29
    greg

    There is actually a free Smithsonian Channel app that allows you to watch lots of their shows. There’s some interesting stuff.

  30. 30
    pryopizm

    Tony:

    No! Megapython vs. Gatoroid isn’t a so-bad-it’s-funny movie. It’s actually going for laughs with it’s cheapness and it fails miserably. It manages to be both obnoxious and boring.

    Asylum is exceptionally cynical. They’re making cheapie Z-movies for the sole reason of making fast and easy money. They’re less Ed Wood and more Roger Corman; but without Corman’s love of cinema(coat that with an extra layer of sarcasm).

  31. 31
    DLC

    Next up, Titanoboa vs Crocoduck!

  32. 32
    robro

    Do the Smithies have an anachronism here? According to the ever unreliable hintertubes, Mr. T. Rex was long gone (65.5mya) before the T/boa showed up (60mya).* Perhaps they were just comparing size. After all, it does matter. Oh, well, as Tufte said of this sort of thing, “Great television but lousy science.”

  33. 33
    Inaji

    robro:

    Do the Smithies have an anachronism here?

    If you watch the vid, the first thing stated is that they lived in different eras and different places on the planet. It’s a ‘what if’ deal.

  34. 34
    amoeba

    As chigau#3 said

    The uploader has not made this video available in your country.

    So I didn’t even get to see Titanocheese vs Tyrannocheese!

  35. 35
    unclefrogy

    dam I want to know more about this animal actually I want to know more about all of the extinct prehistoric animals. I want to know what it was eating, and how and what all of them were eating. I guess that if they are like the anaconda they would would be semi-aquatic? I know all we have so far are a few bones but boy do I want more information! I saw this a few weeks ago and looked for more info but there is not much to find. :-(

    uncle frogy

  36. 36
    timday

    UK version here: http://www.tv.com/video/10584789/titanoboa-monster-snake-titanoboa-vs-t-rex
    It also looks like, if you are so inclined, you can see the entire documentary. Might give it a go later on today…..

    “They lived at different times! And on separate continents!!!! But what if these two monsters met in a BATTLE TO THE DEATH!!!!11!1!1!1111 Excellent work there by the Smithsonian.

  37. 37
    Island Adolescent

    T-Rex has no feathers.

    I’m sad.

    Makes me almost as sad as the cheesiness of this “to the death of two animals that would never meet and had they met would probably never attack each other anyway via bad CGI.”

  38. 38
    Island Adolescent

    Wait, can somebody explain to me why all the reconstructions and pictures of this thing make it seem ridiculously large in terms of cross-sectional circumference?

    Current boas have a much larger length to width ratio than this thing. Is the fossil evidence actually pointing to this snake being this massive? Wouldn’t really be able to rap around anything too large (relative to it of course) if that’s the case.

  39. 39
    raven

    Is the fossil evidence actually pointing to this snake being this massive?

    Yes. The vertebrae are massive.

    It is hard to estimate snake length from a few vertebrae here and there. Some people have developed computer programs that attempt to do this.

  40. 40
    reinisivanovs

    The video doesn’t work from Finland. Pretty lame.

  41. 41
    colluvial

    “What if these two monsters met in a battle to the death?”

    I can what the T. rex might gain from this, but Titanoboa is never going to swallow that thing whole.

  42. 42
    Island Adolescent

    Raven, my question is more along the lines of are there fewer estimated vertebra in this snake compared to the modern boas? Guess I’ll have to try and get access to the original articles on this awesome snake to have a chance of finding out.

  43. 43
    Caoimhe Kent

    Scientists are always making things up. They see a giant creature like this and think “it’s an ancient prehistoric snake, they were bigger back then.” Really, though, a beautiful creature like this is a sign of the Bible being real.

    Snakes shed their skins regularly because they keep growing. While a modern snake may only live for a few years, back in Genesis (as seen in Genesis 5) people and animals lived for centuries. So a modern snake only grows so big, but what would happen if a snake kept growing?

    It wasn’t until the flood that we lost the protective atmosphere that kept away disease and old age that people and animals started to die a lot quicker.

  44. 44
    Caoimhe Kent

    @ss123:

    “How did they fit that thing on the Ark?!”

    They didn’t fit a creature that big on the Ark. They only put baby animals on the Ark, that’s how they fit all the species there.

    And I know someone’s going to try to “gotcha” me with the species thing – they didn’t have to bring every breed of dog, they only needed to bring one type of each animal.

    So one pair of cats, one pair of dogs, one pair of horses, one pair of snakes. All of them babies.

  45. 45
    Nick Gotts

    Caoimhe Kent,
    Nah. You need more spelling mistakes and grammatical howlers to pass as a creationist.

  46. 46
    Don Quijote

    Caoimhe Kent;

    Yes, we all know it’s the first of April.

  47. 47
    Caoimhe Kent

    I’m serious. Don’t disregard me cause it’s April 1st. People can make actual arguments on April Fool’s Day. One of my Facebook friends sent me this link so I came here to talk.

  48. 48
    Matt Penfold

    I’m serious. Don’t disregard me cause it’s April 1st. People can make actual arguments on April Fool’s Day. One of my Facebook friends sent me this link so I came here to talk.

    Nope, still not convincing. Sorry.

  49. 49
    Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls

    People can make actual arguments on April Fool’s Day.

    Except you aren’t making arguments, just repeating known and already exposed lies, in an attempt to be funny. POE.

  50. 50
    amoeba

    During the flood the ocean salinity would surely have gone screwy with at aound 8,000 metres of freshwater deposited as rain. So what about the cephalopods? Did the ark have aquaria? Does anyone know about the molluscs and other flightless invertebrates from diverse remote locations?
    Oh, and BTW, how did they get back?
    About all that water, where did it come from and where did it go to? I’m pretty certain that the hollow-earth theory doesn’t hold water.
    All that mass of water coming and going would have played merry havoc with day length and much besides.
    Surely some creationist should be able to find the answers to these very simple questions in his/her big book of answers!

  51. 51
    Caoimhe Kent

    You all are mean :(

    Didn’t even try. *takes her ball and goes home*

  52. 52
    lexie

    It must be an April fools creationists who have found this blog in the past never give up that easily, they just keep wittering on until they are banhammered.

    Wish I could see cheesy titanoboa vs t-rex documentary.

  53. 53
    lexie

    Oh on the off chance that your not joking, read “standards & practices” as the ultimate overload has rules.

  54. 54
    Kevin, 友好火猫 (Friendly Fire Cat)

    (I was Caoimhe by the way)

    I’ve actually had to argue with Creationists *coughmybrothercough* who made that stupid argument. There’s no answer besides the Dave Silverman face, honestly.

    And yes, I asked the overlord before trolling if I could troll. Ya’ll too smart for me.

  55. 55
    lexie

    I hate dealing with creationist family members I find it harder to call them morons, I keep trying to reason them out of their ridiculous beliefs.

  56. 56
    Kevin, 友好火猫 (Friendly Fire Cat)

    @lexie:

    My family are basically anti-science. They’re creationists, anti-AGW, conservative, fundamentalist Christians.

  57. 57
    lexie

    Congratulations for finding reason. I’m sorry that you’re family are still tangled up in it though. It must be tough. My brother and I both became atheists at about the same time after doubting privately for years, even though the rest of my family occasionally drive me nuts I’m glad he’s there for me.

    Also sorry but what is AGW?

  58. 58
  59. 59
    lexie

    Thanks. I wasn’t familiar with that three letter acronym.

  60. 60
    Brother Yam

    @Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort

    My family are basically anti-science. They’re creationists, anti-AGW, conservative, fundamentalist Christians.

    Tell them to give their modern conveniences back and live like they do in the bibble…

  61. 61
    lexie

    I’ve tried that one on my family but hasn’t been working so I’m now informing them that they are personally required to stone me to death. However I don’t advise this if you actually think your family might take you up on it.

  62. 62
    David Marjanović

    Whut? Why would a snake raise its head while swallowing anything? Doesn’t make any sense.

    Like I was saying about quality control . . . .

    Squamates actually have two. One left, one right.

  63. 63
    chigau (違う)

    Caoimhe Kent
    I was trying soooo hard to anagram that.

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