Parasitism pays, as long as the parasite smiles »« So nice, and so wrong

I get email

This is the ladies-love-me edition of I get email.

Susan wrote to instruct me in my religion, and tell me about her husband.

My dear sir-you are not an atheist. You are quite simply “your own god”-and you worship at the altar of your intellect. I am married to your counterpart-also a professor-also a biologist-and I pray for you both.

It’s true. I have a little altar next to my computer, and I burn fruit flies on it to honor my intellect.

I’m a little confused, though: so she’s saying her husband is also an annoying obnoxious biology professor and non-atheist? I have a clone, maybe? It’s weird that a theist would stay married to such a person. I don’t think a true believer could possibly stand me.

Amanda also sends her best wishes, although I think she’d be better off sending a love letter to Kent Hovind.

I find it to be a fascinating fact that all people who try to spread the truth and are successful get thrown into jail or end up being highly debated and persecuted for it. Hmmmm… Ever stop and think about how the bible tells us this will happen?

Furthermore, if anyone thinks they are stopping Dr. Hovind from spreading the truth they are foolish to have the slightest thought of it. Because he is still spreading the truth and people are converting. . . yes even in prison! He has been put in the exact place of the type of people that Christ came to save in the first place and show his mighty power. So it’s not like you have stopped him. But only the ignorant would think so.

I am so sorry to say that men with your type of mental dementia are so blinded and hardened from the truth and the only people who believe anything you say are people of the same ignorance and make believe. There is NO evidence to support any of the other creation theories. They’re all guesses. I don’t hate, I feel pity. It is such a shame that people are so willing to fight the truth before easily accepting it. Which is another fact the bible states will be wide spread. People will fight so hard to disprove the truth when it’s so easy to see and let the testimonies and scriptures minister for themselves!

Tell me, if by chance the bible was a fake (which it is not), why is it so necessary to teach the world that there is no hope? That there is no meaning or purpose to life and that all the people you love who died are never going to be endured again… Why is it such a mission for you people? So you can encourage more people to see life as a fluke and not care about consequence? It’s sick. All you want to do is hurt people but it’s absolutely thrilling that the people who know God and the truth are not the least bit angered or affected by your lies. . . rather we pray for you to see the truth before you no longer have the chance.

Here’s a little challenge. Why don’t you set out on a mission to debunk the bible. Prove it isn’t true and that the word of God is fake. And in 3 years come back and tell us your findings. I can guarantee they won’t be the same conclusions and “theories” you have today.

Well gosh then! I hope Kent gets to spend many more years in prison, since even Jesus wants him there.

Comments

  1. says

    Here’s a little challenge. Why don’t you set out on a mission to debunk the bible. Prove it isn’t true and that the word of God is fake. And in 3 years come back and tell us your findings.

    Mustard seeds. Bats.
    Now what to do with the remaining 2 years, 11 months, 30 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 55 seconds?
    Killed By Fish

  2. steve oberski says

    Well she did get the part about xtians being disproportionately represented in the US prison population right.

  3. LanceR, JSG says

    Rabbits. Grasshoppers. The genealogy of Jesus.

    And those just off the top of my head.

  4. says

    Also, I love that they can’t wrap their minds around the idea that we don’t worship anything or anyone.

    No no no – everyone MUST have a god, so if atheists don’t worship a supernatural entity well.. uhh… yeah – they worship themselves!

    QED

  5. says

    That there is no meaning or purpose to life and that all the people you love who died are never going to be endured again…

    I don’t know about you, Amanda, but if I thought there was an afterlife where I’d have to endure people for eternity, I’d want no part of it. Pro-tip: know what words mean before you type.

    I am married to your counterpart-also a professor-also a biologist

    You’re married to alternate PZ? Oh my gosh, quick, get him this! It works just like a prayer, I promise.

  6. Sastra says

    I don’t hate, I feel pity.

    Oh look! She’s nice!

    Passive aggressive little thing.

    Why is it such a mission for you people? So you can encourage more people to see life as a fluke and not care about consequence? It’s sick.

    The only reason she puts so much value on an eternal life created by God is because she has been taught that life has no value unless it was created by God and goes on forever. Really, if someone tells her that love matters to them for its own sake, is she going to argue that no, love doesn’t matter at all! Not unless you have lots and lots of it! And the name of love is “God!”

    Otherwise, you’re a chump, apparently.

    She really needs to think this through more.

  7. RickR says

    get thrown into jail or end up being highly debated and persecuted for it.

    Yeah, because debate = persecution. Hey, that crazy church that kidnapped those kids at gunpoint with an AK-47 should try that as a defense- “We’re not kidnappers or child abusers! We were just training our debate team!”

  8. says

    Why do so many of these bozos try to claim to be a scientist, or in this case married to one? There’s no way she could be married to a fucking BIOLOGIST and have so little understanding of biology.

  9. says

    Here’s a little challenge. Why don’t you set out on a mission to debunk the bible. Prove it isn’t true and that the word of God is fake. And in 3 years come back and tell us your findings.
    Really? Well, for one thing, only 7 of the Pauline Epistles were actually written by Paul (and there are added lines in those that were), and the four gospels disagree on the specifics of the crucificiton: important stuff like WHEN. And then there’s Noah’s Impossible Ark, Mrs. Lot the Pillar of Salt, and Adam and Eve and the Population Bottleneck.

    Hey, I still have 2 hours, 58 minutes, and 45 seconds left!

  10. says

    … end up being highly debated and persecuted for it.

    Oh no, that evil, nasty, persecutory debating! The horror of it!

    … that all the people you love who died are never going to be endured again…

    Endured? Pardon? English: you’re doing it wrong.

  11. says

    Kent Hovind told the truth to the IRS? Actually, I don’t think that was why he was sent to prison…

    Funny how liars about science often lie about other things. Isn’t that what they teach, and then ignore?

    I wonder how worshipping a figment of your imagination fails to be a sort of self-worship.

    Glen Davidson

  12. AlanMac says

    I find it to be a fascinating fact that all people who try to spread the truth and are successful get thrown into jail or end up being highly debated and persecuted for it.

    Isn’t it though! ( runs for fire extinguisher to put out blazing irony meter)

    Well, at least the Christians in the west can’t burn us atheists and apostates any more.

  13. cag says

    Well, there’s the earth before anything else in the universe thingy. Then we go to light before sun, five days spent on the earth and 1 day for everything else. I could provide a flood of other things, but I’m not feeling very cross today.

  14. Sastra says

    I am married to your counterpart-also a professor-also a biologist-and I pray for you both.

    Assuming this means that her husband is also an atheist, what a jolly fun time it must be in Amanda’s home. I know a fair amount of atheists who are married to liberal theists of one sort or another, but an atheist married to a fundamentalist Christian who admires Kent Hovind and thinks that atheism entails self-worship and nihilism must live in a special sort of hell.

    Assuming that her husband really is a biology professor, it’s not all that surprising that she understands so little of biology. There must be a huge laundry lists of ‘sensitive’ topics that simply can’t be brought up, not ever — and anything having to do with science must be at the top of the list.

    It sounds like an unhappy marriage on both sides, frankly.

  15. alexandra14c says

    “why is it so necessary to teach the world that there is no hope? That there is no meaning or purpose to life and that all the people you love who died are never going to be endured again… Why is it such a mission for you people? So you can encourage more people to see life as a fluke and not care about consequence? It’s sick.”

    This is what I never never get about these people. That’s the OPPOSITE of why “you people” want to people to release themselves from religion. Because this life is all that matters and being obsessed with the fact that you’re going to exist in another life is a waste of this one. It makes me a sad face that they don’t get it.

  16. Brownian says

    Don’t even have to quote sources other than the Bible for that, Amanda:

    Exodus 24:9-11—Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and the seventy elders of Israel went up and saw the God of Israel. Under his feet was something like a pavement made of lapis lazuli, as bright blue as the sky. But God did not raise his hand against these leaders of the Israelites; they saw God, and they ate and drank.
    Genesis 32:30—So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

    But God and his prophets must not have read the Bible, because,

    Exodus 33:20—But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”
    Exodus 33:23—Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”
    John 1:18—No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.

    If you can reconcile that shit by claiming metaphor! then you might as well argue Jesus was a kangaroo and the 12 apostles actually numbered 4.64^L.

  17. Brownian says

    I just get Nigel McCullough calling me a cunt again.

    Ophelia, I’m sending you a hug via USB.

  18. Gregory Greenwood says

    My dear sir-you are not an atheist. You are quite simply “your own god”-and you worship at the altar of your intellect.

    Because the xian god is nothing like its worshippers, oh no. Sure it hates the same things they hate, wants the same things for them that they want for themslves, and in fact exactly mirrors their personality and attitudes in every regard, but that isn’t suspicious or anything – I mean, yeah, an awful, god-hating, baby-eating cynic might say that it sounds just like this god is simply an aspect of the theist’s own personality projected onto an existing deity myth that is no more real than any other creature of folklore, but it really just means that their direct line to the undetectable magic man in the sky works so well that they know exactly what he is thinking about everything, and being good willing slaves faithful true believers they naturally instantly start to believe what the voices in their head god wants them too…

    You see, its simple to believe when you aren’t thinking for yourself worshipping at the altar of your own intellect…

  19. Becca Stareyes says

    The fascinating thing to me is about championing Kent Hovind.

    I mean, the guy did something that is, by Ten Commandment standards*, wrong — you don’t steal or bear false witness. And, yet, because Kent is in Amanda’s in-group, clearly he must be a fine and upstanding gentleman jailed to stop his message, rather than for doing anything actually wrong.

    Which… it’s like she can’t accept that people who say they are Christians and are also shitty human beings might be shitty human beings.

    Strangely, they don’t seem to have this problem with declaring that this or that sect of liberal Christians aren’t Real Christians. It’s like, you can lie, cheat and steal, but as long as you agree that the universe is 6,000 years old, gays are sinners, abortion is murder, and environmentalism is a pagan plot, you’re clearly a Good Christian (Wo)man. They might grant that you suffered a momentary lapse in judgement. Maybe.

    * Used here because most Christians will agree that the Ten Commandments generally aren’t optional.

  20. echidna says

    I am married to your counterpart-also a professor-also a biologist

    I’m not prepared to take this at face value. I think it is an attempt to form a connection with PZ, so as to be a more effective proselytiser.

    The alternative would be the unhappy marriage that Sastra describes.

  21. says

    Ophelia:

    Aw, you’re so lucky, you get exciting stuff. I just get Nigel McCullough calling me a cunt again. #monotony

    Oh gods, you’d think the novelty would have worn off by now. :Hugses:

  22. Jules says

    It is such a shame that people are so willing to fight the truth before easily accepting it.

    Um. Does it still get to be considered easily accepting something if you fight about it first?

  23. Kazim says

    Make no mistake: I did not for a moment believe that sending Kent Hovind to prison in any way altered his ability to spread “the truth.”

  24. Brownian says

    Um. Does it still get to be considered easily accepting something if you fight about it first?

    When you’re a biblical literalist words don’t mean anything at all, so why the fuck not?

  25. Jules says

    When you’re a biblical literalist words don’t mean anything at all, so why the fuck not?

    Here’s to being one agreeable little motherfucker then.

    I ♥ my new approach to diplomacy!

  26. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    you are not an atheist. You are quite simply “your own god”-and you worship at the altar of your intellect.

    She apparently thinks everyone has a god-shaped hole in their psyches. PZ fill his hole with his intellect.

    I have a little altar next to my computer, and I burn fruit flies on it to honor my intellect.

    The zebrafish are spared this indignity. Or perhaps they’re just too wet to burn properly.

  27. bcwebb says

    So, there may be atheists in foxholes but apparently not in prisons?

    Course, being an atheist doesn’t help with the parole board or get you time out of your cell to go sing in church.

    huh.

    Atheists just aren’t moral enough for prison.

    which brings us to:

    “and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
    other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
    the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
    following words:

    (“KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?”)

    I went over to the sargent, said, “Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
    ask me if I’ve rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I’m
    sittin’ here on the bench, I mean I’m sittin here on the Group W bench
    ’cause you want to know if I’m moral enough join the army, burn women,
    kids, houses and villages after bein’ a litterbug.” He looked at me and
    said, “Kid, we don’t like your kind, and we’re gonna send you fingerprints
    off to Washington.” ” Alice’s Restaurant, Arlo Guthrie

  28. capnxtreme says

    Here’s a little challenge. Why don’t you set out on a mission to debunk the bible. Prove it isn’t true and that the word of God is fake.

    This is probably my favorite theist tactic. “Oh, you think god doesn’t exist? Prove it!” The best part is that they think this is a genuinely airtight argument. You can’t prove god doesn’t exist or miracles don’t happen, therefore god exists and miracles happen. I wish I could say the rest of the world knows how patently fucking ridiculous that is, but we wouldn’t be in this mess if that were the case.

    Theists, please stop telling atheists we need to disprove the bible. As has always been the case, the burden of proof lies on the claimant, and it is impossible to disprove the existence of anything. This is atheism 101 level stuff here, we’ve been over it already.

  29. Cyranothe2nd says

    Sastra @ 16,

    Those are two different emails, sent my two different people. The first woman, Susan, isn’t a fundy, I don’t think…Still, must be difficult to be an atheist married to someone who thinks atheism = nihilism.

  30. grumpyoldfart says

    My guess:
    There is no biologist husband and no creationist wife. A couple of kids got together after bible class decided to scare the shit out of the atheists by hitting them with their best arguments for the truth of religion. The letter (quoted above) is the result.

  31. gragra says

    If I was the praying type I’d pray for her husband. I bet he really throws himself into his work.

  32. raven says

    Susan wrote to instruct me in my religion, and tell me about her husband.

    My dear sir-you are not an atheist. You are quite simply “your own god”-and you worship at the altar of your intellect. I am married to your counterpart-also a professor-also a biologist-and I pray for you both.

    1. I don’t see that marriage lasting much longer.

    2. I doubt it even exists in the first place.

  33. Rey Fox says

    Does it still get to be considered easily accepting something if you fight about it first?

    It’s so easy to accept that you have to fight it in order to reject it. I think.

  34. says

    Aw, you’re so lucky, you get exciting stuff. I just get Nigel McCullough calling me a cunt again. #monotony –Ophelia Benson

    Jeepers! They just can’t stop trying to slime you, can they?

    If it helps to make you feel a little better, lets remember that Susan’s “I pray for you” directed at PZ is the nice Christiany way of saying, “Fuck you, asshole!”

  35. gardengnome says

    “endure” people? “mental dementia” (there’s another kind?) – whatever the argument the ignorance shines right through.

    “There is NO evidence to support any of the other creation theories. They’re all guesses.” That at least is true.

  36. AlanMac says

    I am married to your counterpart-also a professor-also a biologist-and I pray for you both.

    Oh-oh!, I guess she has been initiated into the Mysteries. Might as well admitted it is all a hoax.

    i.e. She is claiming to be “in the club” as it were, to forestall any attempts to discredit her opinion due to her ignorance. Much like Palin’s “Russia from my bedroom” statement.

    It is almost axiomatic that in any conversation with a Christian about their beliefs or (especially) if they are proselytizing that they will blatantly and knowingly lie or repeat something that they know to be a lie just to gain some imagined rhetorical advantage.

    I think this is just such a lie.

  37. otrame says

    It’s kinda sad that they all think they have such irrefutable arguments.

    And they all sound exactly alike.

  38. says

    Wow, and I thought the pro-choice and anti-abortion factions shouted past one another. No evidence, eh? I’ll have denialism and straw men for $200. Remind me next time a religious person tells me that atheists are amoral, negative people who believe in nothing hand have no reason to love life, to tell them that I’m not a Christian because Christians all worship donkeys on sticks.

  39. says

    Well it sounds like she is telling PZ he’s an egoist who’s too smug to consider other possibilities than you know, the truth, which I suppose could be true…but Christians as a whole are not less smug than the rest of us, and if there’s any such thing as a smug approach to thought it has to be thinking that the Bible is literally true.

    She references Hovind but she sort of makes me think of Ham. Ham is the guy who admits that all the evidence supports evolution but argues that none of it matters since the Bible trumps it all. His mission in life is to find the least tortuous way to twist the facts to fit the Bible. Now if that’s not worshiping at the altar of one’s own intellect, I can’t imagine what she thinks the biologists are doing.

  40. Usernames are stupid says

    1. I don’t see that marriage lasting much longer.

    2. I doubt it even exists in the first place.
    —raven #37

    Au contraire, mon frère

    They have a happy marriage, because as a xian woman, she knows her place:

    1 Timothy 2:11-15
    Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

    1 Corinthians 14:34-36
    Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

    Ephesians 5:22-24
    Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

  41. gmacs says

    I have a little altar next to my computer, and I burn fruit flies on it to honor my intellect.

    Goddammit, PZ! Is that why we ran out last semester?

  42. DLC says

    coughBurdenOfProofcough. The burden of proof, Amanda, is on the one making the claim. You claim your bible is the truth. You have to prove that claim. A proof which multiple posters here have shown that you can’t make.
    Next up: Kent Hovind. why? why are you defending an obvious fraud and liar. So obvious indeed that he’s in prison until what, 2015 ?2020 ? Would you also defend John Wayne Gacy if he had started preaching about Jesus in the days before his execution ?
    Do you even care about the law ? About morality ? As you continue to defend such a crook I guess you don’t. Proof that religion does not have any moral backing whatever.

  43. Aquaria says

    Here’s a little challenge. Why don’t you set out on a mission to debunk the bible.

    Aw, she’s a fucking moron.

    Day and night are concepts related to this planet and how parts of it have have day from facing the sun, and night from facing away. But your deity is so fucking stupid, he has days with no sun, or even any other stars–which are supposedly lights in a floor, but, funny, we’ve known for over a 100 years that stars aren’t lights in a floor.

    Fucking moron scumbag.

    Prove it isn’t true and that the word of God is fake.

    I just did. Sucks to be a christslime moron like you.

    And in 3 years come back and tell us your findings.

    I understood night and day when I was three years old. Why don’t you?

    I can guarantee they won’t be the same conclusions and “theories” you have today.

    I still understand night and day, some 47 years later. What’s taking you so fucking long to catch up?

  44. Aquaria says

    I can guarantee they won’t be the same conclusions and “theories” you have today.

    Oh–and theories isn’t your wild ass guess at reality (aka being a christslimed moron). But you’d know that if you’d been educated past a kindergarten level.

  45. Wild old rancid caveman says

    She is obviously very comfortable with her imaginary friend so why not an imaginary husband as well? Making the imaginary husband a doubly evil scientist/atheist must give tremendous nagging opportunities.

  46. dano says

    I really like this Amanda woman. Sounds like she really dislikes @@@@ists. I can’t blame her as @@@@ists always seem to want Christians to prove their God exists. When in fact we only need to look inside ourself for the proof we need. I for one will definitely not be worshiping Paul Z or any other fake Gods any time soon. Enjoy your meeting this weekend in Morris. I am thinking about going but it is a tough call as the weather is supposed to be nice and I was deciding if I should stay back to do some yard work. Hmmmm listen to utter left wing nuts and crazies or rake the lawn…really a tough call. I actually live fairly close but with gas so expensive I should probably stay home to save the environment. I really do enjoy saving what little oil we have left. Perhaps I might ride the bus to look at Chevrolet Volts and Honda Prius’ and make it a whole save the earth weekend. Ahh to be carefree. I think I will pray about it this evening. Ohh great wiseman Paul Z what should I do. I sure hope he answers prayers this evening. Cheers!

  47. says

    dano:

    I can’t blame her as @@@@ists always seem to want Christians to prove their God exists.

    No, not at all. It’s obvious you can’t prove it and I don’t much care if you want to believe a god has set up shop in your garage. What I do care about is annoying goddists insistent on shoving their god into government and education. Keep it private and I won’t care in the slightest.

    I for one will definitely not be worshiping Paul Z

    No one wants your sticky worship, keep that to yourself, please. So you’re afraid to type atheist, but feel perfectly free to disrespect someone by refusing to call them the name they prefer? Hmmm. I’m sure PZ will miss you, Cupcake.

    I should probably stay home to save the environment. I really do enjoy saving what little oil we have left.

    What do you care, Sweetcheeks? That bible of yours says the earth is your domain and you’re not supposed to be worried about that sort of thing – that’s god business.

  48. alysonmiers says

    I am married to your counterpart-also a professor-also a biologist-and I pray for you both.

    She thinks she is using punctuation appropriately. She is mistaken.

    Ever stop and think about how the bible tells us this will happen?

    Look, dumbass, if the people on your side keep getting tossed in the clink, it’s probably not because they’re all speaking the truth. It’s more likely because they’re assholes who are too stupid to make their law-breaking look like morality.

    Learn the difference. Get on the Clue Bus or I’ll run your ass over.

    Fuck, some people are so stupid I wonder how they’re able to leave the house without a guardian.

  49. sobrickette says

    Why is it that these people equate their religion as something special? As Richard Dawkins has mentioned, its entirely coincidental that they are in the demographic to which they ascribe their beliefs to a particular god. Why should it be that lack of “their” god results in dispair? Don’t the Navajo have a certain way of looking at life, the Navajo word escapes me but it means to basically contribute to life rather than destruction, that predates the arrival of Europeans? They seem to have been doing fine but, oh wait, they were put on reservations to make way for the European god of lebensraum. I think it was THAT which put them in dispair and the European sense of god put them there. In that respect, it was the poster’s god that created the misery for these people.
    “Yeah, if you do not hate your wife, or indeed even your life, you cannot be my disciple” Luke 14:26 These sure are alot of hating people. Where is all this “love your neighbour?” Oh wait, that’s right, the original Hebrew meaning is you should “love your group inclusive neighbour”, its totally okay to commit genocide and hatred against the out groups.

  50. amandac says

    @@@@ists

    What the fuck is wrong with you?

    I should not have laughed as hard at this as I did.

  51. raven says

    dano the passive aggressive sicko troll:

    I really like this Amanda woman. Sounds like she really dislikes @@@@ists. I can’t blame her as @@@@ists always seem to want Christians to prove their God exists>

    It’s Captain Dano Passive Aggressive. Make a lot of wild accusations, insults, and lies. Then when people call him on it, claim atheists aren’t “nice to xians.”

    Dano, your game is sick and stupid. It’s pure trolling. It’s also boring. Why don’t you go post barbecue puppy recipes on a dog owner’s website or something.

  52. raven says

    I really like this Amanda woman. Sounds like she really dislikes @@@@ists. I can’t blame her as @@@@ists always seem to want Christians to prove their God exists.

    Actually Dano, we really just want xians and other theists to stay under their rocks and leave us and our society alone. Bigfoot, fairies, elves, Elvis, Tinkerbell, the Easter Bunny, Yahweh, Allah. UFO aliens, it’s all about the same.

  53. raven says

    Ever stop and think about how the bible tells us this will happen?

    I missed the part in the bible about xians being arrested for tax evasion. Although it does say in several places that one should pay their taxes. To bad “Dr.” Hovind didn’t read the part of rendering to Ceasar what belongs to Ceasar.

    It turns out though that the bible is full of failed prophecies including ones central to the religion.

    That says right there it is just a book of mostly fiction and often wrong.

  54. mnb0 says

    @Dano:
    ” I for one will definitely not be worshiping Paul Z or any other fake Gods any time soon.”
    Very sensible. I don’t worship any fake god either, including yours and any other god mankind invented.

  55. Brownian says

    Hmmmm listen to utter left wing nuts and crazies or rake the lawn…really a tough call. I actually live fairly close but with gas so expensive I should probably stay home to save the environment. I really do enjoy saving what little oil we have left. Perhaps I might ride the bus to look at Chevrolet Volts and Honda Prius’ and make it a whole save the earth weekend. Ahh to be carefree. I think I will pray about it this evening. Ohh great wiseman Paul Z what should I do. I sure hope he answers prayers this evening.

    Okay, I get the “lefties generally call themselves environmentalists, so they should never go anywhere unless absolutely necessary” stupidity, and I get that PZ isn’t a god and the doesn’t answer prayers (both ridiculous strawmen, despite dano’s attempt to cutesy them up with a little narrative), but how is it any argument against us that dano is incapable of making decisions without being directed by an authority figure?

    I mean, “what should I do?” I dunno, stupid. What don’t you decide what would be best for you to do and do that? What’s the fucking conundrum here that you need divine guidance?

  56. Brownian says

    I think we should toss Dano onto Jfigdor’s lap. It will be a soothing coo-fest for them both.

    Sure, whoever. I just want one of them to show me the method and success they’re always talking about. Yeah, yeah, vitriol doesn’t work. Neither does evolution, according to the creationists. Is this another ID situation as well, or is there a real alternative here?

  57. Brownian says

    Like, is it just my impression, or does it seem that they’re always popping up in threads about how to talk to the religious, but they never seem to pop in when there’s one right here, just waiting to be convinced by the niceness?

  58. says

    Brownian:

    I just want one of them to show me the method and success they’re always talking about.

    Therein lies the rub. Jfigdor is only interested in arguing with us and Porco has been hanging around haranguing us long enough to see plenty of Danos, but never, ever talks with them.

    or is there a real alternative here?

    I don’t think so.

  59. NotAProphet says

    Holy precognition Batman! So if I espouse something batshit-crazy, but predict that people will question and ridicule it, that makes my nonsense suddenly true, because my prediction came true!

    To all theists: I posit that there is no god, and if you toss a coin right now it will come up heads, thus proving me correct (If it doesn’t then you didn’t toss it soon enough after reading this; read it again then toss the coin right away). Those of you for whom it doesn’t come up heads are being told by god to give one-tenth of your income (gross!) to a cancer research charity immediately.

  60. says

    If there is a God it seems unlikely he’s the Christian God. After all that guy is supposedly omnipotent and very picky about what humans are supposed to be doing, yet never uses those powers to actually let everyone know what he wants. Unless of course you go the route of predestination and believe the majority of us only exist so God can laugh in our faces as he sends us to Hell, which we are destined for no matter what we do.

  61. says

    Sometimes I honestly do not understand how fundamentalists are capable of functioning at the most basic level from day to day. I half expect them to kill themselves accidentally while brushing their teeth by driving their toothbrushes into their brains through their eye sockets.

  62. Ragutis says

    are being told by god to give one-tenth of your income (gross!) to a cancer research charity immediately.

    What kind of screwed up religion is that? The tithing is supposed to pamper your indolent priests or be used to gold-plate your worship places. FFS, how do you expect anyone to take you seriously? Fucking amateur.

  63. Kristof says

    Well, for me it seems “I have married somebody like you” is just a new spin on good old “I was an atheist”. :)

  64. says

    “I am so sorry to say that men with your type of mental dementia are so blinded and hardened from the truth and the only people who believe anything you say are people of the same ignorance and make believe.”

    “I don’t hate, I feel pity. It is such a shame that people are so willing to fight the truth before easily accepting it.”

    What an epic example of creationist projection. I actually do feel really bad for people that desperately cling to their fairy tales out of fear of what letting them go might entail.

  65. Agent Smith says

    Christians like eternal life, because nothing’s valuable unless you get an infinite amount of it.

    Amanda overlooks how Kent Hovind, supposedly a Jesus follower, refused to render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. I doubt very much she’d pick up a mamba or guzzle a bottle of methylated spirits, despite what Mark 18 says.

    they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all

    Who has this amazing power? Simply whoever believes and is baptized, according to Mark 16. Amanda undoubtedly believes, and if she hasn’t been baptized, that can easily be taken care of. If this doesn’t confer immunity to snakes and venom, then the Bible is wrong! Fake, even. You can’t wave away a direct promise from the boss.

    I love finishing pilgrimages without my feet having to budge an inch from beneath the keyboard.

  66. nemothederv says

    People will fight so hard to disprove the truth when it’s so easy to see and let the testimonies and scriptures minister for themselves!

    Oh I get it now. Your explanation for everything is correct because it’s easy. Life is simple right? It’s all that thinking that leads we wandering sheep astray.

    Thus the antiintellectualist segment of the population hath spoke.

    Amanda, simple thought is not equal to clear thought.

  67. opposablethumbs, que le pouce enragé mette les pouces says

    Hmm. And there I was wondering how useful the term “non-cognitive” was going to turn out to be in practice … and two quality examples turn up almost right away. Susan and Amanda offer us a textbook demonstration of writing while in a non-cognitive state.

  68. Holms says

    He has been put in the exact place of the type of people that Christ came to save in the first place and show his mighty power. So it’s not like you have stopped him.

    And there I was, thinking he strenuously fought that jail term because he thought he had a license to commit fraud (for Jesus). It turns out the jail term was his plan all along!

  69. Blueaussi says

    “It’s true. I have a little altar next to my computer, and I burn fruit flies on it to honor my intellect.”

    Is that in your protocol?

  70. Ogvorbis (no relation to the Ogg family) says

    Does anyone else feel like we should hook up this woman and danielhaven and then sit back, pop some corn, drink some beer, and laugh?

  71. dano says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God. I think it seems only fair at least in my mind but perhaps you will that as a @@@@ist you have special rights. As far as banning me, I will have won if that is done as no question or discussion is truly complete or answered without hearing from the opposition unless you are bigots? I certainly can handle some name calling but the question is can you? Cheers!

  72. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I think it seems only fair at least in my mind but perhaps you will that as a @@@@ist you have special rights.

    We already know you are a delusional fool since you believe in imaginary deities. Until you enumberate those alleged special rights, they, like your imaginary deity, don’t exist. Be sure to supply a citation for every alleged right. Your word is worthless.

  73. Ogvorbis (no relation to the Ogg family) says

    dano:

    First off: God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god, God, gods, god.

    Second, what is it with Christians and the martyr complex? You show up here telling us that we will be tortured forever by your loving god and, when asked for evidence that gods, any gods, exist, you trot out either bullshit or lies. And now that you know that your bullshit ain’t gonna fly here, you beg to be banned so that you can smuggly show off to all of your goddist friends and tell them that you got banned by the great PZ Myers. If you really want to be a martyr, go feed lion.

  74. janine says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God.

    What a defense! Except there is still one problem; atheists do exist and are willing to provide proof of existence. Their is no proof of your god.

    Also, dumbass, if you do get banned, this is what you will have won; shit. Your god will not have been proved. The only thing that would have been shown is that you have been slagging.

    Also, godcake, most of us can handle name calling.

    Bask in the glory of your self proclaimed superiority. The rest of us will just point and laugh.

  75. Brownian says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God.

    Are you doing this for some special Sunday school credit or some such bullshit? Because you write as if you’ve never actually ever talked to an atheist before.

    Can’t type ‘god’? I mean, there are some Orthodox Jews and other religious types who type G-d, but atheists? Jesus fucking Christ but you say the god damnedest stupidest things.

  76. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Tpyos is happy with me today. Deity = god Dano. Now, show us that conclusive physical evidence for your imaginary deity. We’re still waiting…

  77. Brownian says

    So, did the mailman show up and tell you how to spend your evening, dano? Who’s pulling your strings this morning?

  78. says

    Does anyone else feel like we should hook up this woman and danielhaven and then sit back, pop some corn, drink some beer, and laugh?

    Oh, good god* no. What if they have offspring kids?

    * Look, Dano, I said god. And just for you, I’ll capitalise it. God.

  79. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God. I think it seems only fair at least in my mind but perhaps you will that as a @@@@ist you have special rights. As far as banning me, I will have won if that is done as no question or discussion is truly complete or answered without hearing from the opposition unless you are bigots? I certainly can handle some name calling but the question is can you? Cheers!

    Hell yes. I thrive on it.

    What ‘cha got?

  80. Ogvorbis (no relation to the Ogg family) says

    Oh, good god* no. What if they have offspring kids?

    Well, she is married to a biologist so, at the very least, she should now what goes where.

    And how would then end up with baby goats?

  81. Brownian says

    as no question or discussion is truly complete or answered without hearing from the opposition unless you are bigots?

    And you’re providing opposition? By saying things like “many on your side can not type the word God” that are so God/Jesus/YHWH/Elohim-damned wrong they’re practically nonsensical?

    Do the rest of your religious compatriots know that you’re representing them by making them look as if they couldn’t pass a kindergarten aptitude test?

    Are you by any chance homeschooled?

  82. consciousness razor says

    Our trolls have been giving awfully lackluster performances lately. I mean, no matter how much we feed them, they’re all just so pathetically boring. Is there some sort of troll virus floating around the intertubes?

  83. Brownian says

    G – O – (puff of smoke, smelling of brimstone)

    Playing ‘Go Fish’ with the Devil again?

  84. raven says

    raven message #62:

    It’s Captain Dano Passive Aggressive. Make a lot of wild accusations, insults, and lies. Then when people call him on it, claim atheists aren’t “nice to xians.”

    Well it happened as predicted. The simple minded are too easy to predict.

    Dano the passive aggressive troll:

    As far as banning me, I will have won if that is done as no question or discussion is truly complete or answered without hearing from the opposition unless you are bigots?

    In Dano’s trivial world, being a troll and getting banned from a forum is a huge accomplishment. No wonder US xianity is dying, only dumb people believe it anymore.

  85. says

    Ever stop and think about how the bible tells us this will happen?

    You know what, people? She’s right. Incredible, I know, but she is.

    The Bible says: pay your taxes, or you’ll get into trouble.

    (Actually, Jesus says “give to Cesar…”, but that’s exactly what is meant).

    Did Kent Hoving forget to read that page?

  86. opposablethumbs, que le pouce enragé mette les pouces says

    Oooh, I expect that dano-who-can’t-spell will be hauling out the holey babble quotations at some point – all ready and panting to smite the unbelievers with a well-chosen verse … go to it, godbotherer: book ‘em, dano!

  87. Brownian says

    In Dano’s trivial world, being a troll and getting banned from a forum is a huge accomplishment.

    Well, that is an achievable goal. Would you rather dano aimed for something completely unattainable, like getting something right for once?

  88. rr says

    dano:

    I can’t blame her as @@@@ists always seem to want Christians to prove their God exists. When in fact we only need to look inside ourself for the proof we need.

    But you’re afraid to share that proof. Afraid it won’t stand up to scrutiny, afraid that you could be mistaken.

  89. says

    Our trolls have been giving awfully lackluster performances lately.

    Ah, yes, it’s not like the old days. We do get a few on the old Pharyngula site though.

  90. Gregory Greenwood says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God. I think it seems only fair at least in my mind but perhaps you will that as a @@@@ist you have special rights. As far as banning me, I will have won if that is done as no question or discussion is truly complete or answered without hearing from the opposition unless you are bigots? I certainly can handle some name calling but the question is can you? Cheers!

    PZ! We need a new chewtoy – this one came out of the box broken.

    Honestly, there is no quality control anymore. Back in the day (perhaps a little something to set the scene), they made chewtoys to last – you could go several hundred posts before GOATS ON FIRE or PYGMIES & DWARVES syndrome set in irrecoverably, but these days you don’t even get one coherent post before they go into word-salad meltdown…

  91. says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God.

    You’re such a liar, Dano. “God” is just a generic descriptor, Cupcake, it’s utterly meaningless when it comes to a specific deity. For that sort of meaning, an actual name is required. There are thousands upon thousands of gods, stretching back as long as we started inventing them.

    When someone types “God”, it could mean Poseidon, Osiris, Iktomi, Ogbunabali, Mithra or El Shaddai. Guess which one of those is your god, Cupcake.

    Theist means someone who has a religious belief. Atheist means someone who lacks religious belief. It’s all generic, not specific. Saves time, you see.

  92. ladude says

    I guess I could put all the evidence that the word of her Gawd is made up stuff by ancient goat hearders in a book, but I’m gonna need some help. It will take a couple of hundred volumes to cover it all. And since they’re gonna stop publishing Encyclopedia Britanica, maybe they’d be interested in the book. Anybody want to help?

  93. ladude says

    I think I now understand why science deniers default to the word “god” when they can’t explain something. I suspect the word is an abbreviation for “Grand Old Delusion”.

  94. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    This morning on TET Chas Peterson self-banned himself. He announced he was retrieving his spheroid and retiring to his domicile. “Farewell, cruel Pharyngula, I’m off to join the circus” or words to that effect.

  95. chigau (違う) says

    Ah. That kind of self-banning.
    I regret that I haven’t met Chasven’s standards.

  96. Louis says

    In my day trolls were proper. Not these weak tea trolls we get nowadays. Why back in the day we used to argue with religious trolls and they used to be genuinely annoying. We’d have to mention the Invisible Pink Unicorn, The Fling Spaghetti Monster or perhaps even the invisible dragon in my garage. But now? Nothing. even those simple ideas are too complex for the religious trolls of today.

    [Cue nostalgic music]

    Back on Talk Origins and various usenet atheist sites we used to have proper trolls, trolls that could make you think maybe, just maybe they were not merely dribbling onto their keyboard and typing one handed. I even read J Mackie’s “The Miracle of Theism” once. I bothered to read some Bonhoeffer, some Aquinas, some Augustine. Hell I even read Tillich. It was fun. Dealing with trolls back in the old days required thought. Well, nearly.

    Why I even saw an honest, capable religious interlocutor once. Really. He disappeared into the trees, and some of my friends tell me it was just a guy in a suit, but I know it was real.

    Louis

  97. says

    ‘Tis:

    This morning on TET Chas Peterson self-banned himself.

    Again? Now I wish I’d kept count of all the times he’s taken his spheroid and retired to his domicile.

  98. Louis says

    Fling Spaghetti Monster

    Oh yes folks, there is a Spaghetti Monster associated with marital infidelity. I DO NOT MAKE TYPOS!

    Louis

  99. says

    Louis:

    What did we do this time?

    Colour me clueless. My laptop has a fit trying to load TET these days, so I’m seriously outta da loop. Of course it doesn’t take much to set off a Sventrum.

  100. chigau (違う) says

    Louis

    Why I even saw an honest, capable religious interlocutor once.

    What did it look like?
    Was it one of the round ones or was it cigar-shaped?

  101. Louis says

    Chigau,

    No, no, no, the honest, capable religious interlocutor was big and hairy and man shaped, with these really big feet. Weird right?

    You’re thinking of that time I met a guy who said “some of my best friends are gay” and then totally did not preface or follow that with something so homophobic it made me wince. It was like he really DID have gay friends, and totally not for the sake of some convenient argument or something.

    THAT guy was sort of like a disc that zipped across my vision at high altitude before disappearing towards the sun. Someone told me it could have been an insect or something, but I know better.

    Louis

  102. Louis says

    Ing,

    What AGAIN? Yeah what is it with you people? I mean I have a penis, and I’m really clever and everything. I has a cerstificate. Does the fact that I’m not white ruin it though?

    Oh crap….will alexmartin let me not be white?

    Louis

  103. Muse says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God.

    Seriously? Orthodox Jews won’t write the tetragrammaton (yud hey vav hey) because there are strict protocols dealing with the written name of God (look I even capitalized it). Through hedges round the Torah, this has led to Jews often writing G-d. But I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen an atheist not write God, or god, or Gods, or gods or Elohenu, or Yawveh, or El, or Adonai, or any of the other many names of god.

  104. Mattir says

    It is important to call the magic sky fairy by the proper name. Which should be ha-makom – The Place,. Also Hebrew for the Temple Mount or lady parts.

  105. chigau (違う) says

    Louis
    Maybe it was one of those things we get in our eyeballs:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floater
    hmmm
    Could floaters be used as a metaphor?
    little bits of crud casting shadows on the retina
    :
    little bits of misinformation casting shadows on the mind
    (meh. laboured)

  106. Mattir says

    I sometimes write G-d. But that’s more out of a bizarre cultural/philosophical loyalty to to Jewish tradition than out of rampant discomfort with the name of the invisible friend, Although now that I know that it’s a way to piss off Christians, I have ANOTHER reason to do so. Thanks, dude.

  107. Brownian says

    This morning on TET Chas Peterson self-banned himself.

    I’m convinced it must be someone’s birthday.

  108. says

    @@@@ists always seem to want Christians to prove their God exists. When in fact we only need to look inside ourself for the proof we need. –dano

    This is true. You really are the thing you call “God”. God turns out to be a reflection of your own self projected onto a storybook character you were told about as a child. Yay for you, dano! You can have your god and eat it, too!

  109. says

    I use the word @@@@ists as it seems many on your side can not type the word God. –dano

    *gasp*
    Did you just say “the word God”? You’re calling God a word? Better get down on your knees, dano. There’ll be hell to pay for that.

  110. Sili says

    Mattir

    It is important to call the magic sky fairy by the proper name. Which should be ha-makom – The Place,. Also Hebrew for the Temple Mount or lady parts.

    And it sounds so much nicer than “cunt”, too.

  111. Sarahface says

    “@@@@ists”

    Every time I see this, I end up reading it as “at-at-at-at-ists”, which is really, *really* annoying.

    He has been put in the exact place of the type of people that Christ came to save in the first place and show his mighty power.

    Yes, Christ came to save those people who are vulnerable and stuck in a shitty place with bad prospects. Why? Because those who aren’t so vulnerable, and *do* have good prospects tend to be more difficult to convert. And then when it comes to undoing the various harms that religion perpetuates, the people who’ve converted while vulnerable/in a bad situation/whatever get pointed to as examples of, “But it gives people *hope*! Why would you want to take that away from them?! [Insert follow-up idiocies here]“. Nice cycle you have here!
    (Also, I love ‘mighty power’. Where are all these demonstrations of this mighty power? I’d quite like to see them; you’d think they’d be shouted about loud and clear everywhere, and be visible and obvious to everyone if they’re really that great…)

  112. says

    You are quite simply “your own god”-and you worship at the altar of your intellect.

    When in fact we only need to look inside ourself for the proof we need.

    Ah, I get it now. Atheists worship themselves, whereas Christians worship the god that lives inside of them.
    Okay.

  113. says

    feralboy12:

    Ah, I get it now. Atheists worship themselves, whereas Christians worship the god that lives inside of them.

    Now I’m thinking of Futurama again…

    Leela: Look, Ship, if I learned anything from my mutual breakup with Shawn that was totally mutual, it’s that happiness can only come from within you.
    Planet Express Ship: [crying] But Bender IS within me!

  114. Brownian says

    whereas Christians worship the god that lives inside of them.

    [Kneels down, hands folded in prayer.]

    “Dear Ecoli,

    Please bless Mommy and please bless Daddy and please bless Meaghan who in Your wisdom You made very sick when she ate a baloney sandwich that You were living on…”

  115. says

    I sometimes write G-d because when I went to liberal church the minister frequently used YHWH in his sermons. I don’t think I quite got a handle on what his was trying to say but I guess he was aware that YHWH does not equal El does not equal Elohim does not equal Jesus does not equal the Trinity does not equal the Holy Ghost does not equal Adonai unless you are a particular flavor of Christian in which case everything can equal whatever you like. Anyhow YHWH belongs to the Jews, not the Christians, and the Jews prefer that you use it in a certain way. In non-ritual contexts, i.e. not praying or preaching, I think you should use whatever fits best.

  116. sqlrob says

    Anyhow YHWH belongs to the Jews, not the Christians

    It’s the same god. It’s the asshole that wanted Abraham to kill his kid.

  117. Just_A_Lurker says

    Yes, Christ came to save those people who are vulnerable and stuck in a shitty place with bad prospects. Why? Because those who aren’t so vulnerable, and *do* have good prospects tend to be more difficult to convert. And then when it comes to undoing the various harms that religion perpetuates, the people who’ve converted while vulnerable/in a bad situation/whatever get pointed to as examples of, “But it gives people *hope*! Why would you want to take that away from them?! [Insert follow-up idiocies here]“. Nice cycle you have here!

    This is why I hate all the fucking shelters that shove religion down you and your children’s throat. Seriously fucking irritating because they can fuck you your life if you don’t smile and nod along. Yet most places that offer the help I need make you deal with their religion. My favorite response to them is “My religion is whatever you need it to be in order for me to get help.” That shuts them up or pisses them off quick.

  118. A. Noyd says

    I stay well away from businesses that mention wellness because, rather than being something so basic and desirable as “good health” or “physical well-being,” wellness is a thoroughly religious concept. It is sinlessness rebranded: a mythical state of total physical and spiritual perfection. You must spend your whole life trying to attain it, but you can never succeed because the degrading effects of modern living constantly impede you and set you back. No fucking thank you.

  119. dano says

    I certainly do not wish anyone to be banned to hell when you do not believe in God, even Atheists (ugh I spelled it out this time; I hope I do not go to hell for that one). On the other hand I do believe in God and have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I cast no spells on you or wiggle my nose, although I may be disappointed in your views. I am thankful for all I have and wish all to have the same satisfaction with their life as I do no matter how you get there or what you have to believe in or not in to be happy. My happiness is brought on by believing in a higher power that someday after I leave this world I may greet and chat with the ones I lost and loved so dearly. If you on the other hand believe that once you die that is it so be it. I believe we should both live every day to the fullest. I just happen to believe I will have many more after I die but in heaven. It is better to believe and in the end be saved or not believe at all and have no chance at eternal life? That is a question only you can answer for yourself. I also never quote bible verses as it is something I just have ever done. If you wish me to find some I surely can for those wishing for some holy scriptures to put you at ease. Let me know the subject & I will see what I can find but no promises as I always seem to get lost with so many books or chapters as some might say. Cheers!

  120. Ogvorbis (no relation to the Ogg family) says

    My happiness is brought on by believing in a higher power that someday after I leave this world I may greet and chat with the ones I lost and loved so dearly.

    Is your happiness also brought on by believing in a higher power that someday after you leave this world you will watch with pleasure as 99.9% of all humans who have lived burn and writhe in an eternity of hellish torture?

    It is better to believe and in the end be saved or not believe at all and have no chance at eternal life?

    Oh, wow. Pascal’s wager. Lemme ask you this, dano: Is it better to believe in your god and in the end be pounded into little bitty pieces by Thor’s hammer because you worshipped the wrong bronze-age myth?

    If you wish me to find some I surely can for those wishing for some holy scriptures to put you at ease.

    Oh, how about the one where god sends a bear to kill the kids because they laugh at a bald man? Or maybe deforemed rabbit?

  121. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    My happiness is brought on by believing in a higher power that someday after I leave this world I may greet and chat with the ones I lost and loved so dearly.

    That is a delusion, just like your imaginary deity. Absolutely no evidence for such a scenario. Typical though.

    It is better to believe and in the end be saved or not believe at all and have no chance at eternal life?

    Since you can’t prove your eternal life, just like you can’t prove your imaginary deity, you have nothing offer us except delusion, and Pascal’s Wager. We see the delusion, with nothing to gained by believing in your delusion.

    Let me know the subject & I will see what I can find but no promises as I always seem to get lost with so many books or chapters as some might say. Cheers!

    Instead of quoting your book of mythology/fiction, why don’t you actually try to show it is inerrant. By say showing there was a one-time-all-world flood that killed all life except for the ark, or that the exodus actually occurred. Try the peer reviewed scientific literature, found in places like this, for the evidence to back up those cases. If you can’t do so, if the babble lies about that, what else does it lie about???

  122. echidna says

    even Atheists (ugh I spelled it out this time; I hope I do not go to hell for that one).

    Ah, so it’s not that you think atheists can’t type the word god. You just couldn’t bring yourself to type the word “atheist”. I’m glad you managed the word, even though you managed to virtually spit as you did it.

  123. echidna says

    If you wish me to find some I surely can for those wishing for some holy scriptures to put you at ease.

    No thanks. You are wrong to imagine that we are unfamiliar with your scriptures. Most of us probably know them better than you do.

  124. A. Noyd says

    dano (#142)

    My happiness is brought on by believing in a higher power that someday after I leave this world I may greet and chat with the ones I lost and loved so dearly.

    Except the ones that didn’t live up to your higher power’s arbitrary criteria for getting into heaven, right? To believe in your god would bring me no happiness. While the total lack of evidence for him gives me reason not to believe, if he did exist, I would be obligated to spend my existence in rebellion against him for his extreme cruelty. It would be morally deficient of me to take pleasure, as you do, in prostrating myself before such an evil being.

  125. says

    even Atheists (ugh I spelled it out this time; I hope I do not go to hell for that one).

    So…that nasty deity of yours would delight in torturing you for eternity because you spelled a word correctly? Tsk. See, even if your god came a knockin’ on my door, I’d probably give him a drink and listen politely for a while, then tell him “Sorry, you’re a fucking monster, you won’t find any worship here.”

    Any being (as long as we’re playing make believe) that evil would require killing. It would be the only moral action.

  126. Just_A_Lurker says

    See, even if your god came a knockin’ on my door, I’d probably give him a drink and listen politely for a while, then tell him “Sorry, you’re a fucking monster, you won’t find any worship here.”

    God would be lucky to get that from me. The line “If your god exists, I’d rather go to hell” is so true. I’m going to try cross stitching if I can get supplies and I’m going to make that sign.

    Any being (as long as we’re playing make believe) that evil would require killing. It would be the only moral action.

    Now that deserves to be made a sign right there.

  127. says

    J_A_L:

    God would be lucky to get that from me.

    In all honesty, he’d probably be lucky to get that much from me. If God the Monster sent Jesus to my door, I’d probably offer the drink*. If God the Monster showed up himself? Well, I do have a shotgun.

    *Mostly because I would have a metric fucktonne of questions. At least.

  128. Just_A_Lurker says

    *Mostly because I would have a metric fucktonne of questions. At least.

    No kidding. My first would be “What the fuck did I do to you?” ;)

  129. Gregory Greenwood says

    Caine, The Impossible Woman @ 149;

    Any being (as long as we’re playing make believe) that evil would require killing. It would be the only moral action.

    Agreed. And as other sources of fiction (with every bit as much claim to be taken seriously as the babble, which is, of course, no claim at all) have taught us, every big bad supervillain needs disposeable cannon-fodder; lickspittle lackeys to polish its bloated ego, do the menial chores, and demonstrate their utter incompetence by ineptly seeking to oppose the heroine (or hero)…

    Looks like Dano is already applying for the post…

    @ 151;

    If God the Monster showed up himself? Well, I do have a shotgun.

    So, not just the preferred weapon in the event of a zombie apocalypse, but also ideal for a little light deicide…

    Truly, the boom-stick is the prince of firearms.

  130. janine says

    (ugh I spelled it out this time; I hope I do not go to hell for that one)

    What is it about religious belief that makes attempts at humor fall so flat.

  131. chigau (違う) says

    Humour requires imagination and the ability to take things non-literally (if that makes sense). To cliche it “Thinking outside the box.”
    A well-trained religiouso cannot.

  132. athyco says

    chigau (違う):

    Humour requires imagination and the ability to take things non-literally (if that makes sense). To cliche it “Thinking outside the box.”
    A well-trained religiouso cannot.

    Agreed. Do you think there’s a major aspect of their training? I’ve been toying with the idea that there’s an inescapable “kick down, kiss up” that underlies it all.