Botanical Wednesday: It’s getting to be that time of year »« A new Molly-fication

Episode CCLXXXI: Contrived outrage!

Ah, Fox & Friends joining forces with the War on Christmas — can it get any more ludicrous?

It’s a holiday tree. It’s a christmas tree. It’s a pagan relic. It’s gaily decorated fluff. It’s a dead tree. Call it whatever you want! Jeebus, people. Are you going to tell me I can’t call it a big-ass stick with glitter?

(Episode CCLXXX: Islamic silliness.)

Comments

  1. theophontes, Hexanitrohexaazaisowurtzitane Wielding Tardigrade says

    Threadcrupt.

    …………………………..

    It being the TRUE anniversary of Baby Jeebus’s ™ birth, I was thinking about what we should get Prof. Poopyhead in celebration. Then it hit me…. but then I realised that we couldn’t wrap it …. but then I found this: Awesome Linky.

  2. Brother Ogvorbis, OM, Demoted says

    Benjamin:

    Fantastic.

    That sucks.

    You can (I hope) guess which goes to which.

  3. says

    From the rat empathy article linked above: ““Empathy is a truly powerful motivator, on a par with the desire for chocolate!” said de Waal, who was not involved in the new study.”

    and bacon!

  4. says

    Regarding “Immotiles” -they were the brainy aliens. They sent out “motiles” to kill you through gates of warped space.

    Hey wait, that rings a bell, was that a Banks book ? I dont remember !

  5. says

    and I gotta get through a workday without doing anything indictable.

    The blessing of being in the southern hemisphere. I can just go to bed drunk while you’re rightfully outraged.

  6. Psych-Oh says

    I missed all the sex talk. Bummer for me.

    Benjamin – Congrats on the 4.0!!! Get well soon.

  7. Richard Austin says

    Totally random, but walking onto campus today through the myriad buildings, I encountered (what I assume to be) a patient who seemed lost. I asked her if she needed help, and she said she wanted to get to the main entrance, so I led her there.

    On the way, she asked, “So, what do you do here? Are you a doctor?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m an analyst. I work with computers, mostly.”

    Her: “So, what is it you analyze? Facts, or numbers?”

    Me: “… Uh, well, numbers can be one kind of fact…”

    Her: “Oh, yes, I suppose they can…”

    She then started asking me about metastatis, to which I gave the generic but true answers (as well as telling her she should speak to her doctor for the specifics, since every cancer is actually unique, and pointing her to where our resource center was).

    But, yeah, the “facts, or numbers?” question made me giggle. Lies, damned lies, and statistics…

  8. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @ChasCPeterson

    ‘penii’ is a barbarism in any language.
    Latin: penes
    English: penises

    yeesh.

    The day I can’t be a little barbaric when talking about sex is the day I’ll have to return to bed and occupy my fingers and mouth so that I won’t get myself into trouble.

    Wait…

  9. Pteryxx says

    I’m all, “Bwuh?” Then I start hearing stories that X walked in on me masturbating to academic-ese.

    ARGH… and of course, you can’t correct them because they won’t believe you over their own internal biases. Sheesh, I don’t know what ticks me off more about so-called normal people, the sex-phobia or the assumption that everyone lies.

  10. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Ray Fox @512 –

    You deserve a Molly for that one damn post. Too funny.

    “It says so right on the box!!!”

    Oy. That’s what I should have said when the rumors were going around. What? Vibrator? Of course not! It says it’s a massager right on the box!

  11. Richard Austin says

    Katherine Lorraine,

    … We really need a “hot links” section. Either that, or I need to wake up more before posting (and check PET, since I see now it was there too). You right-coasters get first access to all the cool stuff.

    *sulks in the corner*
    *not really, but maybe someone will feel empathy for me and give me chocolate chips*

  12. chigau (違う) says

    Slow [morning] on TET.
    Does anyone think cheerios and gravy is a bad breakfast?
    (or I could go grocery shopping.)

  13. Brother Ogvorbis, OM, Demoted says

    Does anyone think cheerios and gravy is a bad breakfast?

    I’ve seen worse. When I was a whitewater raft guide, there were two brothers whose normal breakfast was warm Red, White & Blue beer poured over Rice Crispies.

  14. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    Holy fuck, there is a LOT of paperwork for graduating!

    Also, it’s expensive.
    2 reams of 25% cotton paper: $40.
    Microfiche processing fee: $50.
    Thesis binding fee: $96.
    Printing fee: $111.05.

    Jebus. I mean, I know it could be worse, but still!

    And yes, that 5 cents is part of the printing fee. I was told so very explicitly. 20 cents a page, plus 5 cents for the job. Yeah.

  15. Brownian says

    Does anyone think cheerios and gravy is a bad breakfast?

    What matters, of course, is whether you do.

    Personally, there’s nothing that isn’t made better by good gravy, though not all gravy is good for every situation. Buttermilk biscuits call for something substantial such as sausage gravy, whereas you want something more like jus—or even consommé—when your windshield is dirty (because of the aphids) and you’re all out of the stuff they sell you for the purpose.

  16. Richard Austin says

    Esteleth:

    That’s to pay Lucy for the counselling session afterwards.

    The Doctor
    is [IN]

  17. carlie says

    I gotta get through a workday without doing anything indictable.

    I think I need to print that out and frame it on my wall as a reminder.

  18. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Esteleth: Have you talked to your adviser about not having your thesis printed.

    Often times they list degree requirements…and they DON’T list this stuff. I made it a point when they tried to make me do extra stuff at the end to say, “Look here – these are your graduation requirements. You have not listed these other things. I will have a lawyer write you a notice to sue for breach of contract. The amount you’ll get charged by your lawyer to read the damn thing is going to cost you more than you’ll get out of me in fees.

    It’s your choice: I can pay this later after I make you lose more money than you’ll gain – by an order of magnitude at least; OR I can skip this and you can approve my graduation anyway.

    I’m sick of this crap. It’s cheap. It’s nickel and dime when you’ve charged me more than enough already. If you can’t make it without these fees, then suck it up and take a tuition hike to the students or the legislature or whomever and justify it. If you can make it without these fees, you’re frickin’ gouging us. Either way, it’s wrong. There are graduation requirements listed and these ain’t them.

  19. Richard Austin says

    Am I the only one who gets stabbity when I ready about something coming “with au jus“?

  20. Brother Ogvorbis, OM, Demoted says

    Printing fee: $111.05.

    Now, admittedly, I was an undergraduate — it was not a PhD dissertation — but when the history department wanted to put two of my papers in the college library they paid to have them professionally printed and bound. Not a penny out of my pocket.

    And it was also last century . . . .

  21. Psych-Oh says

    Does anyone think cheerios and gravy is a bad breakfast?

    Hashbrowns with gravy is better. Smothered and covered. Now I want Waffle House.

  22. Brownian says

    Am I the only one who gets stabbity when I ready about something coming “with au jus“?

    Oh, that’s just how the hoi palloi talks.

  23. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    Submitting printed (on cotton) and bound theses are mandatory for my university, unfortunately. My advisor, out of the goodness of his own heart, is paying the printing and binding fees.

    I totally should have put in a awesome dedication. But it didn’t occur to me, and I’ve already sent it to be printed. Sadface.

  24. Brownian says

    Hashbrowns with gravy is better.

    Hashbrowns with maple syrup and Louisiana-style hot sauce is best.

  25. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    I had banana bread for breakfast. I was awesome.
    The other night, I made a traditional dish of my family. It’s what results when Italians marry Swedes and then live in Maine. Swedish meatballs in a tomato-based sweet-and-sour sauce. It is amazing.

  26. Brownian says

    The other night, I made a traditional dish of my family.

    Wow. I’m just fascinated by the funerary customs of other people.

    Swedish meatballs in a tomato-based sweet-and-sour sauce.

    So much more pragmatic than embalming. But I am sorry for your loss.

  27. Dhorvath, OM says

    Birger,
    Peter Hamilton is a personal fave. I read all his stuff, but didn’t want to let the obvious joke pass me by.
    ___

    Brownian,
    That walk link is very well written. Getting the bookmark treatment.

  28. chigau (違う) says

    Esteleth
    Printing on rag paper is a pretty good way to preserve something for a long time.

  29. Brownian says

    Brownian, you owe me a new keyboard for that.

    Sure thing, but I charge 20¢ per key, plus 5¢ for the board.

  30. Psych-Oh says

    Brownian – *snarf* Also, I really prefer my hashbrowns loaded with Redhot. But gravy ain’t bad.

  31. chigau (違う) says

    OK.
    It’s too late for [breakfast] but I think I’ll have spam and eggs for [lunch].

  32. opposablethumbs, que le pouce enragé mette les pouces says

    “with au jus“ is an Abomination. Possibly an Abomination unto Nuggan as well, though it may be too sensible and reasonable an Abomination for that.

  33. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Now we’re cookin with gas!

    Hashbrowns…Mmmmmmmmm.

    I like ‘em with salsa, with sriracha & ketchup (mixed), with this ginger/sugar conserve I’ve found, with certain chutneys (yes, including tamarind), but most of all, I like to smother the hash browns in a layer of oily vegetables dominated by not exclusively containing mushrooms. In thick chunks. Mmmmm, steamy, greasy mushrooms.

    Can we have this same conversation again tomorrow?

  34. says

    Remember the rape-culture apologist and all around doofus, Michael Crook? The guy that PZ skewered in this thread: http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/11/16/the-mormon-mentality/

    Well, it seems that Michael Crook will now be leaving the mormon church. Or threatening to deprive the mormon church of his significant contributions. Or moving to another Stake, or something.

    There was dust up over his profile appearing on mormon.org. Crook wrote enough blame-the-victim stuff that he managed to embarrass even the mormon church, whose prophets Crook had quoted in his discussions of rape.

    Administrators of mormon.org made Crook’s profile unavailable to the public. This made Crook so angry that he appealed to his Stake President, and to other mormon leaders in the Rome Ward of Utica New York to stand up for him. Instead, Crook met a wall of indifference, resistance, and general lack of support from the brethren.

    Here’s his screed about the whole tempest in a soft drink bottle:
    http://blog.michael-crook.com/2011/12/time-for-some-truthiness.html

    There’s even a mention of Boy Scout ties among the brethren that are unjustly persecuting poor Michael Crook. And happily for those needing some entertainment today, there’s use of vocabulary like “haveth” and “unrighteous dominion” — Excerpt below:

    As my frequent, gentle readers know, I am embroiled in a situation that involves a priesthood leader not only exercising but full-on exhausting unrighteous dominion, but to make matters worse, it also involves some people in my own ward who haveth not the courage to confront me in person regarding an article I wrote. These cowardly few instead whine like sniveling cowards behind my back. It’s like high school, albeit a really retarded high school.

    From one of Michael Crook’s other posts about the response to this rape post:

    I’m not going to apologize for the post, or for anyone’s hurt feelings. Guess what? This is America, and I have the right to express my opinion. I quoted general authorities in context. Nothing I wrote about the topic of rape was out of line with Church doctrine and the teachings of current and past authorities.

    And from yet another of Michael Crook’s posts on the subject:

    This counselor just so happens to have a daughter-in-law who had issues with a prior article I wrote about a touchy subject, which she has admitted to having a personal bias over.

    See ye not the problem?

    1.) Daughter-in-law takes exception to my article.
    2.) She runs to father-in-law.
    3.) Father-in-law, who holds the proper authority, uses that authority to take an adverse, confrontational and downright treacherous action against me, without the knowledge of his superior and without informing my priesthood authority.

    Reading between the lines, it seems probable that the Stake Counselor’s daughter-in-law’s “personal bias” was that she had been raped or sexually abused in some way.

    One issue all this fulminating from Crook settles is the question of his possibly being a Poe. Nope. He’s for real.

    And he has a wife. And it was his wife that talked him into becoming active in the mormon church again.

  35. Brownian says

    I like ‘em with salsa, with sriracha & ketchup (mixed), with this ginger/sugar conserve I’ve found, with certain chutneys (yes, including tamarind), but most of all, I like to smother the hash browns in a layer of oily vegetables dominated by not exclusively containing mushrooms. In thick chunks. Mmmmm, steamy, greasy mushrooms.

    I’ve taken to making full Mexican breakfasts when the GF™ and I are trying to recover from the previous night’s festivities.

    Frijoles refritos, huevos rancheros, and pilaf. If shots were involved, I swap out the arroz for parboiled and diced potatoes, and make a hashbrown ‘pilaf’ a lot like what you’re describing, Crip Dyke.

    Mmm. Sriracha sauce, Red Hot—sometimes I really miss East Africa. A table wasn’t set without a bottle of pili-pili sauce (fries with ketchup?—weak), and the tilapia was divine.

  36. opposablethumbs, que le pouce enragé mette les pouces says

    Damn, I just came back and read Brownian’s #542. Make that two new keyboards and an elbow-falling-off-the-edge-of-the-desk au café, plz. (or au naturel, I suppose)

  37. Brownian says

    [Looks around. Doesn't see The Walton.]

    The thought of Esteleth’s traditional recipe as a solution to the likes of Michael Crook pleases me.

  38. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    Brownian,
    I think it would take a lot of sugar – like, the total output of the biggest refinery in the country – to counter the sourness that is Michael Crook for the sauce.

  39. says

    Lynna,

    Reading between the lines, it seems probable that the Stake Counselor’s daughter-in-law’s “personal bias” was that she had been raped or sexually abused in some way.

    Well since rape is the woman’s fault anyway, of course the stake president is being evil in persecuting him! Of course, it’s not as if the church leadership is actually ashamed of blaming rape victims, they just don’t want the public to see; it’s just fine for them to push modesty for women who bear the moral responsibility for men’s actions, words and thoughts, they just don’t want to have non-Mormons hear about it before they convert!

    Mormon rape culture is so lovely and charming here; every so often I ask myself why I still live in Salt Lake. Of course, I then answer that’s a stunning place to live and my family is here, but sometimes I daydream about moving somewhere just a little less anti-woman.

  40. says

    Esteleth, are all of the members of your immediate family Swedish?

    Esteleth, are WERE all of the members of your immediate family Swedish?

    Sorry to have been so insensitive. Please accept the corrected version.
    ————–

    On the Michael Crook issue, I just realized that in my retelling of the story I misrepresented the convoluted hierarchy of the mormon church, and therefore blamed the wrong party for abusing the hapless Mr. Crook. Let’s let Mr. Crook explain the hierarchy and the perfidy that flows therefrom:

    In my statement, I alleged that the first counselor in the stake presidency of the Utica New York Stake exercised unrighteous dominion by ordering the disabling of my profile. I have evidence that he requested this without the knowledge of the stake president, who outranks him, and without informing my bishop, who is my priesthood authority, and should have been informed.

    There. We straightened that out.

  41. cicely, unheeded prophetess of the Equine Apocalypse says

    thisiswhyimbroke.com

    Oooooh! Dolphin speedboat! Shinywant!

    Flying…radio…control…shark….
    *sigh*
    I think I’m in love.

    …Holy moley David, speaking of length!

    I’m famous for it. I’ve written 23-screeners.

    Sometimes, longer is better.
    :D

    Benjamin, congrats on the good grades, and commiserations on the fever.

    I’m quite sure there isn’t an instinct to insert tab A into slot B.

    Not sure that I could agree. Do individuals of any species other than ours need to discuss the desirability of and content of Sex Ed?
    -

  42. Brownian says

    Brownian,
    I think it would take a lot of sugar – like, the total output of the biggest refinery in the country – to counter the sourness that is Michael Crook for the sauce.

    Some part-Swede you are.

    You first treat him like you would make lutfisk.

  43. says

    slignot @556

    …it’s just fine for them to push modesty for women who bear the moral responsibility for men’s actions, words and thoughts, they just don’t want to have non-Mormons hear about it before they convert!

    Excellent point. It’s okay to be that way, to be promoters of rape culture, it’s just not okay to make it blatantly public like Crook did.

  44. says

    Hints of Michael Crook’s activities in former mormon wards:

    I knew that with that office would come more responsibility, so I again confessed to inappropriate conduct with a girl, though I didn’t take it as far as I did in my previous ward. I wanted to push off advancing in the priesthood and the additional responsibilities that would bring. I didn’t want to get out of a calling, or subject myself to more Church discipline that had nothing to do with actual transgressions.

    Source: http://www.michael-crook.com/zion.html

  45. cicely, unheeded prophetess of the Equine Apocalypse says

    Brownian @542: ROFLMAO

    Hashbrowns: I like mine crisp. There must be significant brown, or you’re just having potatoes.

    Esteleth, are WERE all of the members of your immediate family Swedish?
    Sorry to have been so insensitive. Please accept the corrected version.

    And were they…tasteful?
    -

  46. carlie says

    Hashbrowns: I like mine crisp. There must be significant brown, or you’re just having potatoes.

    Yes indeedy. I also think that hashbrowns need to be stringy, because the cube ones are just short french fries, but I understand I may be in a minority on that opinion.

  47. Muse says

    chigau – my university served us that a lot. Those of us taking Spanish facepalmed a lot.

  48. Richard Austin says

    In the parlance of the places where I’ve eaten, “hashbrowns” or “hashed browns” are grated potato, fried, in a haphazard mishmash. “Home fries” are diced potato, seasoned and fried.

    I much prefer hashbrowns.

  49. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    Lynna,
    My great-great grandmother was Swedish. Other than that, I have no Swedish – or Scandinavian of any variety – ancestry.

    My family’s funeral practices are Fremen.

  50. Tethys says

    Thank you to Giliell,Theophontes, SQB, Cicely, and Father Ogvorbis.
    ___

    Are any american horde members aware of this organization?
    http://www.americanselect.org/

    I think the time has come to use social networking and the internet to bypass the current political parties corporate lackeys.
    ___

    Hashbrowns must be browned and crispy to be edible. Otherwise they’re just greasy potatoes. All meals must contain something crunchy to balance out the mushy components.

    I think I will have an egg quesadilla with chunky salsa for lunch.
    ___
    Crip Dyke

    The day I can’t be a little barbaric when talking about sex

    Meh, whats sex without a little scratching and hair-pulling?

  51. chigau (違う) says

    Muse @569

    chigau – my university served us that a lot. Those of us taking Spanish facepalmed a lot.

    I am puzzled and intrigued.
    Spam & eggs & Spanish.
    I don’t get it.
    (please don’t let it be obvious please don’t let it be obviousplease don’t let it be obvious

  52. says

    slignot, thanks very much for the updates on the latest flailings of the Prop 8 proponents.

    I don’t mind the long posts containing lawyer speak. They illustrate the unaltered stupidity of the anti-gay-marriage forces, while also illustrating that their religious filters are so dense as to be almost impermeable to facts.

    For ease of readability, you might consider inserting a few line breaks.

    Where are you following the proceedings?

  53. Rey Fox says

    Hashbrowns with gravy is better.

    Hashbrowns with chili, eggs, a hamburger patty, cheese, and onions is even better.

  54. Brother Ogvorbis, OM, Demoted says

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sometimes I have fantasies of doing bodily harm to certain people (in this case, a visitor).

    Can I get an appointment for the Spanking Parlour? I’ve had bad thoughts.

  55. Muse says

    chigau you said “I once had chicken arroz con pollo.”

    I mentioned that those of us taking Spanish facepalmed because if you translate arroz con pollo it means rice with chicken. So we were having chicken rice with chicken.

  56. says

    @Lynna, I’m glad that people like staying informed here and I’ll probably add some line breaks for any future spamming of TET. I usually follow a few different twitter accounts that livetweet on top of more formal coverage; the National Center for Lesbian Rights always has good coverage.

    But the easiest to read and follow is the Prop 8 Trial Tracker, who always have someone covering the proceedings. As we found yesterday, livestreams are consistently underpowered for the number of people who want to keep up.

  57. says

    My family’s funeral practices are Fremen.

    Ah, I see. Deathstills then. Extract the water and save it.

    Talk about squeezing your relatives for all they’re worth.

    What I like about Fremen is the fashion.

  58. Muse says

    Chigau

    Muse
    I see.
    The chicken thing, not the spam thing.

    And this dear self is why, even when you’re busy and shouldn’t really be taking time to read TET, you should quote.

  59. Brownian says

    I’ll add my thanks, slignot.

    Reading this transcript makes the anti-gay marriage people sound like bigger assholes than they already do.

    “Makes common sense point that a person in an enduring, committed relationship has, do you have an interest in getting married.”

    That’s the argument from the guy on the “Walker should have disclosed his enduring, committed relationship before ruling” side. That’s their argument. He can’t be impartial on a case involving other assholes determining his right to marry—he’s too much a candidate for marriage!

    I mean, what kind of a sick fucking society would let people in “enduring, committed relationships” get married?

    Abrahamists: they all want a fucking lye bath.

  60. says

    Whenever I order something that’s listed as “with au jus“, I make a point of ordering it “with au jus juice”. And places that serve “avacado guacamole” can count on me asking for avacado guacamole sauce. ‘Cos that’s how I roll. With rolls of fat from ordering crap just because the menu was written for morons.

    Is anyone familiar with truth-out.org or Williams Rivers Pitt? No idea if they’re credible, but if it’s accurate, this article is both shocking and totally not shocking.

  61. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Okay, the religious Mormon said:

    some people in my own ward who haveth

    This is too ridiculous. This man not only use frickin’ **haveth**…

    but he used it WRONG. Haveth is only the singular form. “Thee haveth” “You have”. That was true even 400 years ago. No one would have used, “Some people haveth,” except a colossal idiot.

    Wait….o.O

  62. says

    @Brownian, I’m consistently amazed by how badly the proponents handled the Perry trial/hearings. The trial was as amazing for the skill of Olson/Boies as it was the incredible incompetence of Cooper and witnesses. If you want to be just amazed, read transcripts of Blankenhorn’s testimony where there were times I couldn’t tell if he was trying to make a case for or against Prop 8.

    Although perhaps nothing tops when Cooper was asked to comment at closing and told the court that they “didn’t need evidence.”

  63. says

    Wow, I really need a new verb there, but it really is descriptive. I am fascinated and shocked every time Cooper opens his mouth. Perhaps a little embarrassed on his behalf as well.

  64. chigau (違う) says

    Pfft says that guacamole in Spanish is pronounced [wakaˈmole].
    hmmm what can this mean?

  65. Brownian says

    hmmm what can this mean?

    They haven’t gotten around to reverting Zapp Brannigan’s edits yet.

  66. Brownian says

    Whenever I order something that’s listed as “with au jus“, I make a point of ordering it “with au jus juice”. And places that serve “avacado guacamole” can count on me asking for avacado guacamole sauce.

    Do you place your order with the fellow driving bus nearest the restaurant? Because s/he has about as much to do with writing the menu as your server does.

    (You’d be better off doing so, given that the bus driver has less access to your food and his or her saliva.)

  67. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Brownian:

    “Mmm. Sriracha sauce, Red Hot”

    If you’re familiar with Sriracha, you’ll know why my upstairs neighbor’s renamed it: “Hot Cock Sauce”!

  68. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    ugh, did I really just slap an unnecessary apostrophe in there?

    I guess I did’

  69. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Benjamin – #595:

    How wise it is really depends on what you’re trying to communicate. Now, take Rev. BigDumbChimp at #416

    “Things Not to Rub on Your Scrotum”

    Habanero juice

    I know this from personal experience.

    Here we’re talking about something very close to Hot Cock Sauce…

  70. chigau (違う) says

    Crip Dyke
    “neighbor’s” is a contraction of “neighbor has”.
    … my upstairs neighbor has renamed it …
    Perfectly comulent :)

  71. opposablethumbs, que le pouce enragé mette les pouces says

    I have
    thou hast
    she, he, it hath
    we have
    you have
    they have

    NOBODY haveth, as far as I know.

    And what I have I give to thee, to her/him/it, to us, to ye, to them (I think. Break out the pharyngulites who actually know these things!)

  72. Brownian says

    If you’re familiar with Sriracha, you’ll know why my upstairs neighbor’s renamed it: “Hot Cock Sauce”!

    I really want the reason to be because he shares my view that with practice genitalia can become wonderfully functional sensory apparati, much like a siluriform’s barbels, but I’m 99% sure it is not.

  73. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    Brownian: I dunno about that, but one of my really strange internet friends once asked me if the anus was capable of tasting. He told me after he eats too much onion, he can ‘taste’ it with his ass on the way out.

    Unfortunately, I lacked the scientific knowledge to educate him further.

    Is the anus capable of taste on some level? Or was it just his stink-fueled imagination?

  74. Dhorvath, OM says

    Oh Onionbum, Oh Onionbum,
    My friend claims to have Onionbum
    For when has eaten too much root
    They have scary tasty toot
    Oh Onionbum, Oh Onionbum
    I truly fear you Onionbum

  75. Brownian says

    A new form of synesthesia?

    I don’t think so. Maybe if the guy’s ass tasted Tchaikovsky and triangles after he ate onions…

  76. Crudely Wrott says

    !!! NEWS FROM THE WORLD OF SOURDOUGH !!!

    This just in. Dateline, Newcastle, Wyoming. One hundred twenty two year old sourdough starter gets daily workout.

    Cool history, several useful tips and a recipe! Plus, this ancient mix lives in Wyoming, my sorely missed home state. It all adds up to lots of goodness.

    So click the linky to pay Lucille a visit. She just loves to talk about her sourdough.

  77. chigau (違う) says

    OK.
    How ’bout this:
    he digests onions inefficiently so it still smells like onion and he only thinks he’s tasting onion.
    I’m done with this topic.
    Is the sun over the yardarm?

  78. changeable moniker says

    “Au jus”? Meh. Should be “with its own avec son jus”.

    The most egregious bastardisation for me is “enn rowt” for en route. Particularly since “Route 66″ is firmly established as the obvious pronunciation. /gripe

  79. Cannabinaceae says

    “Things Not to Rub on Your Scrotum”

    Habanero juice
    I know this from personal experience.

    Ha ha ha. I make chili sauce fairly often, from chilis of various heats. Even the mild ones, like costeños, can develop some “temperature”. You’re supposed to use gloves but that interferes with my dexterity when pulling out the seeds and skinning them, so I just bite the bullet and let my fingers “burn”. Somehow, since I know that it’s not really “hot” heat I can pretty much take it, and after a few hours, generally overnight, the feeling disappears.

    However, the capsaicin does not entirely disappear, as W.U. informed* me one morning after such an overnight depletion of the pain sensors in my fingers, and the beginning of an, er, intimate, session.

    *not by saying anything along the lines of, “oh, hunling, there still seems to be a bit of capsaicin on your fingers”. Nope. Not by a long shot. There was a bit of extra moaning, however.

  80. The Laughing Coyote (Papio Cynocephalus) says

    Chigau: That was exactly the conclusion I came to.

    Along the same lines: Has everyone ever drank so much coffee that when they take a leak it actually smells like a pot brewing?

  81. Brownian says

    I’m done with this topic.

    I’m sorry chigau. It feel like I’ve been picking your ass too much this thread.

    Has everyone ever drank so much coffee that when they take a leak it actually smells like a pot brewing?

    No. Not everyone has drank coffee at all. ;)

    But as for the phenomenon to which you refer, I have/do. Often.

    And strangely, it sometimes smells fresher than the coffee I’ve been drinking.

  82. says

    “Is the sun over the yardarm?”
    Somewhere for some pharyngulistas. So it’s always okay to imbibe.
    +++++++++++++++++++
    When folks talk about the ‘ring of fire’, as Benjamin so eloquently put it, it just means that it was so hot you decided to swallow to get it out of your mouth instead of spitting it out.

    Bad decision. The original breakdown is done by saliva, if you can’t chew and enjoy the sensation, you shouldn’t have been eating it in the 1st place.

    The hottest pepper I ever ate I swallowed to get rid of the burn rather than face the embarrassment of spitting the food out in public.
    My stomach was smarter than me and immediately rejected it, along with everything else it contained.
    Puking in public is so much more embarrassing.
    So endeth today’s lesson.

  83. says

    Brownian #592

    Do you place your order with the fellow driving bus nearest the restaurant? Because s/he has about as much to do with writing the menu as your server does.

    I don’t do it to abuse the wait staff, I do it because I’m amused by silly stuff. I don’t lampshade it and it’s possible most of the time they don’t even notice.

    I’m a firm believer in not inflicting pain and suffering on the poor slobs in customer service. I’ve been there.

  84. ChasCPeterson says

    shits & giggles, is that it?
    Got tired of Brownian’s inner 14-year-old and thought you’d regress him back to 11?
    This Thread has really gone down the toilet.

  85. Brownian says

    if you can’t chew and enjoy the sensation, you shouldn’t have been eating it in the 1st place

    Bullshit. This gizzard full of pebbles attests to the fact that I’ve never chewed a morsel of anything in my life, and I’m not about to start doing so now.

    Teeth are for documenting the rate at which one imbibes coffee, tea, wine, and cigarettes. Anyone who tells you different is working for Big Dentistry.

  86. Brownian says

    I don’t do it to abuse the wait staff, I do it because I’m amused by silly stuff. I don’t lampshade it and it’s possible most of the time they don’t even notice.
    I’m a firm believer in not inflicting pain and suffering on the poor slobs in customer service. I’ve been there.

    I retract and apologise for the j’accuse.

  87. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    I printed my thesis. It is now sitting, wrapped in big envelopes, with all the paperwork. I’ll submit it monday morning.

    Now, I’m in a celebratory mood. *pushes in a cart laden with various baked goods and beers*

    Help yourselves everybody! I’m feeling good.

    Also, my roommate is playing her violin. This gives me all sorts of warm fuzzy feelings.

  88. says

    A friend sent me an email noting this new Republican plan:

    Pack your bags – To help save the economy, the Government will announce next
    month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead
    of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.
    Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.

  89. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    *sips on Rare Vos*

    What never ceases to blow my mind are the number of people whose livelihoods and well-being depend on Democratic-advocated programs (unions, Medicare, Medicaid, etc) who are mouth-breathing Rush Limbaugh-esque nutjobs.

    Of course, a lot of it comes down to race, class, and religion.

  90. says

    Esteleth, conga rats are (with a) still coming your way. I can only imagine what seeing your book printed, bound and distributed must feel!

    p.s. violins are like calliopes and bagpipes, much, much better enjoyed at a distance.

  91. Sili says

    So bagpipes sound better in large groups?

    Yeah. It’s like PTSD. At some point the assault grows so great that you can only resign and stare into the distance, slowly forgetting there ever was a time when it didn’t hurt.

  92. says

    Morning all. I can haz fresh baked blueberry muffin. Why are you all talking about hash browns?

    Now I need to decide whether we’re having venison or wallaby for dinner. Wallaby goes very well with a chipotle & bourbon marinade.

  93. Sili says

    Another reason to loathe Jeremy Clarkson.

    For fuck’s sake!

    I dislike Clarkson as much as the next guy, but he did not suggest strikers be executed. He was mocking the ‘fair and balanced’ policy of the BBC.

  94. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    Okay, I have a very deep philosophical question for everyone:

    Home fries or hash browns?

    They are similar, yet are different in crucial ways. I tend to prefer home fries.

  95. carlie says

    Esteleth – depends on the use. If mixed with peppers and maybe eggs, definitely home fries. If eaten alone, hash browns.

  96. Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan says

    Home fries or hash browns?

    What carlie said @ #636.

  97. SallyStrange, Spawn of Cthulhu says

    Congratufuckinglations, by the way, Esteleth! Wish I were nearer situated so I could help you celebrate. Me, I have to work in the am tomorrow so I’m just eating lasagna and searching for jobs.

  98. SallyStrange, Spawn of Cthulhu says

    If eaten alone, hash browns.

    I don’t really understand why this would ever happen. Hash browns or homes, they always go with eggs or sausage or both…

  99. chigau (違う) says

    Sili
    I’m concerned with the cancellation of tonight’s episode of Quite Interesting.

  100. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    From Cuttlefish’s recent post — really worth a read, btw:

    So I saw a tweet today (I won’t link–go search if you want) that went “FACT: athiest(sic) CANNOT celebrate Christmas. #youreallhypocrites”

    Oh, cuttlefish – you misunderstood.

    She wasn’t grammatically inscrutable. She’s not incompetent with spelling.

    What’s going on here is that she was using the superlative form of the adjective, “athy,” known to all Firefly fans as describing pompous, possessive, plutocratic jerks from Persephone who have probably never been within smelling distance of the Sundowner docks, often bully registered Companions as if it was okay to own another person, and like to skewer other men with swords to prove that it’s okay to be a real douchegabber if you have money…and spare time to practice the sword.

    She was calling us the “athiest” people she knew. I would take it as an insult, except I’m just too stupified that she knows the Firefly universe that well to have any brain cells left with which to take offense.

  101. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Sandiseattle:

    doubleplus ungood

  102. Sandiseattle says

    CD: thot so. was amused today to find out they have a “Gay Voices” section. Neocons don’t like that type right? Maybe I’m wrong. Eh, no big.

  103. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    In my opinion, home fries should be served with eggs and peppers. They also go well with bacon.

    *hoists tankard of Rare Vos @ Sally* You should find some leaking out of your usb in a minute.

  104. Sili says

    I’m concerned with the cancellation of tonight’s episode of Quite Interesting.

    Which in the linked article is put down to a false statement about Clarkson’s arseishness.

  105. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    sili @ 632:
    LOLZOMG – I think I peed a little.

    Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity #632

    Home fries or hash browns?

    They are similar, yet are different in crucial ways. I tend to prefer home fries

    When I’m cooking myself? Hashbrowns. Just easier since you can get decent ones pre parboiled & pre-cut.

    But if someone else is cooking or if I have the time & my joints aren’t killing me, home fries.

    it comes down to I like homefries a lot better than hashbrowns (usually, there’s one restaurant around here where I always get the hashbrowns ‘cuz there like no others & very good), but I like my joints and my precious spare time even better than homefries…

    .
    .
    .

    @SandiSeattle, or, well, anyone: Any regular Pharyngulites that would wanna get together for fun & profit?

    Or, well, to clarify: our fun and some nice pub owner’s profit?

    lastly: Why can’t my spellcheck get pharyngulites right? Or even pharyngula, ForFreud’sSake?

  106. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Oh, heck. I meant to say horde members in the Pacific NorthWest…

    I don’t live particularly close to anything, but not all that far either, and I have a hybrid with great mileage.

    Oh, Plus I might need to get away to Seattle sometime soon anyway to meet Ms Crush – in the flesh!

  107. Brother Ogvorbis, OM, Demoted says

    “Is the sun over the yardarm?”

    My uncle had the yardarm of a sailing vessel on the ground in the backyard on the ESE side of the house. At dawn the sun was over the yardarm.

    ======

    A few years ago I was seeding and chopping about 5 pounds of Serrano peppers to freeze. My fingers tingled. Later that evening, wife and I got romantic. Let me just say that digital stimulation was unwise and leave it at that.

  108. Dhorvath, OM says

    In my universe, homefries and hashbrowns are unwelcome. That is vital stomach space that could be better served by eggs, pancakes, toast, milk, juice, or pastries.

  109. says

    Sili, yeah, I agree, it appears Jeremy Clarkson got a bad rap. And I contributed to it. My bad.

    He is a rich, privileged asshole, but he was just making fun of the BBC’s policy. The same could be pointed out about the US’s press, except they don’t make fun of it, they just are stenographers of ‘he said/he said’ journalism.

  110. carlie says

    Dhorvath – good to know, was just wondering if she’s doing ok because I haven’t seen many posts from her lately. :)

    Sometimes I miss facebook, and then I remember how obsessed I was with it, and then I don’t miss it quite so much.

  111. SallyStrange, Spawn of Cthulhu says

    Shucks, Crip Dyke, I love the Pacific northwest. Now I’m sad I’m not there and can’t visit you in person.

  112. Sandiseattle says

    Re: homefries v. hashbrowns: can’t we just all hit a bong? :-) Like both, but home fries (AKA jojos, in my mind anyway) i don’t think of as a breakfast item.

  113. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    In my opinion, the Greatest Breakfast Ever features home fries, applewood-smoked bacon, eggs, and rye toast.
    Mmhmm.

  114. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    That’d be fun, Sally. You don’t ever just visit out here, do you?

    –)->

  115. Rey Fox says

    Here’s a midi cover of The Smiths’ “Ask” where the vocals have been replaced by cats’ meows!

    I don’t want a spot in the gay sex line. I want a spot in the gay love line.

  116. Brother Ogvorbis, OM, Demoted says

    Homefries and hasbrowns are both okay. Mountain fries I can do without, though.

  117. chigau (違う) says

    John Morales
    Yes.
    Clarkson’s presence on the show would not prevent me from watching.

  118. Esteleth, Ph.D. of Mischief, Mayhem and Hilarity says

    WTF are mountain fries?
    Are they related to mountain oysters? ‘Cause mountain oysters are delicious.

  119. Sili says

    Sili – how did the week with the students go? Did they handle it ok?

    It has been an interesting lesson in public grieving. Society has become ridiculously Diana-fied since I was a kid.

    Even the kids who knew the dead are a bit annoyed with the public outpouring of grief. They feel it inappropriate for people who didn’t know him to get so involved.

    The school has handled things very well. Showing lots of compassion for those who suffer, but probably being a bit too lenient, meaning that some unaffected kids are taking this a licence to slack off – the was no registration of attendance Monday for instance, and today school closed at 11 to allow people to attend the funeral (no cremation oddly enough). Busses had been arranged even.

    My freshmen have been very impressed with the principal by seeing a whole new side of him – they’ve been a bit at odds, since he extraordinarily teaches them physics (lack of new teachers), and this particular class is not exactly scientifically minded.

    For those curious, everything is now public. Last I read was the autopsy implied he’d laid curled up one the tracks when the train hit him. Some kids speculated that perhaps he’d tried following the tracks home, but taken the wrong direction.

  120. Sili says

    John Morales says:

    Sili, yeah, he did suggest that, satirically as it might’ve been intended

    Satirically, yes. Isn’t this what we call cherrypicking when it happens to people we like? Or do we also accept the anti-Obama ads? “The words came out of his mouth.”?

    Context matters. And when Pullum is the leader, I don’t mind being a follower.

  121. SallyStrange, Spawn of Cthulhu says

    That’d be fun, Sally. You don’t ever just visit out here, do you?

    Not when I’m this poor, no. But I shan’t rule it out! I have a very good friend living in Seattle and another in Portland. I really WANT to visit them again someday. Just… the whole job thing. You know.

  122. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    yes, sally, I know *exactly*.

  123. John Morales says

    Sili, you claimed he did not: “… but he did not suggest strikers be executed.”; I posted a link to where he in fact did so.

    Satirically, yes. Isn’t this what we call cherrypicking when it happens to people we like?

    Thus my “satirically as it might’ve been intended.” :)

    (I note one can’t pick cherries that aren’t there)

    More to the point, cherry-picking refers to selecting specific cases that suit one’s contention whilst ignoring others that don’t. I made no contention other than that he did suggest that, contrary to your assertion.

    Context matters.

    That’s why I linked to a clip that included it.

  124. says

    Chigau:

    Poor ratlet! Part of growing up, I guess.

    Part of growing up with Esme. Chas does his best to protect Rubin. :) They were running full speed all over the studio last night though, I expect Rubin ran into something.

  125. says

    I’m thread bankrupt, but it looks like there was some fun upthread. I’ll catch up.

    For now, though, I need a bit of help, and I can’t think of a better bunch for this question: we need a name. Last night we adopted a beautiful little black kittie (f). Sweet as all get out, with greenish gold eyes. She seems thoughtful, and very affectionate, though not at first. I think she has to get to know you before you get accepted. We were thinking witches (duh, she’s black) so of course, Esmeralda (Esme) was my first thought (I hope you don’t mind, Caine). Then we thought scientists, and Ada (Lovelace) was the next natural choice. We also thought of Sophia (Brahe). So, witch, math genious, or astronomer? Any other great women I should consider? Healers, scientists, and midwives that we have neglected would be entertained.

    Thanks!

  126. SallyStrange, Spawn of Cthulhu says

    @ MikeG

    What about Hypatia? Seems an obvious choice when you’re thinking of great women…