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I have seen the accounting

The Pharyngula shop is doing OK. However, my goal of reaching Richard Branson levels of obscene wealth isn’t quite here yet — we have only sold 66 Pharyngula t-shirts. That number should be 666. Please increase your materialistic consumption of crass site-labeled merchandise ten-fold, immediately.

That will be all.

Further imperatives to increase consumption quota will follow at a later date.

Comments

  1. Simon Hayward says

    Not exactly heavily advertised is it? I just scrolled up and down, and apart from the link in this item I wouldn’t have even known that you were pursuing worldly riches. Even holies like the Jesus and Mo author and the FSM let us know they have stuff for sale.

    If you are trying to do a Branson I suggest starting out with a small boat (it certainly worked for him), MN must have somewhere you can park one.

  2. Sastra says

    Ok, the shirt’s on my amazon wishlist. Now it’s up to Santa.

    Unless he’s not real. Then we’re all screwed.

  3. Torish says

    Shouldn’t that say, “Since 1984″?

    And also, and shouldn’t the numbering the bottom right be 420?

  4. briancoughlan says

    I am inspired comrade!! Not only do you offer us these exciting commercial opportunities but the chocolate ration has been increased to 20 grams!!

    Let the doubleplusgood times roll!!

    Every one of these exciting exclamations marks was required!!

  5. otranreg says

    Too bad there are no kawaii T-shirts with the same image as on the button. The cuttlefish isn’t flashy enough.

  6. gwehydd says

    If there were a dark-coloured kawaii shirt in a babydoll style I would buy it in a second. Just sayin’.

  7. quatguy says

    Don’t take this the wrong way PZ, but maybe it is because your T-shirt selection sucks. If there was a T-shirt for sale that I wanted to buy, it would certainly go a long way to enticing me to do so.

  8. Simon Hayward says

    Chigau #5
    So it does – I have managed to look at this site pretty much every day since it moved here and never noticed that. It has been suggest that I have an inability to find things that are right in front of me (just ask my wife). But, seriously, I doubt I’m the only one who missed it.

  9. Brownian says

    If there was a T-shirt for sale that I wanted to buy, it would certainly go a long way to enticing me to do so.

    The “I Queued Up For Hours To Have Gay Sex With Brownian And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” shirts are still on backorder.

    It has been suggest that I have an inability to find things that are right in front of me (just ask my wife).

    I too missed the “Shop” tab so completely you’d think it was in the fridge.

  10. says

    Ok, the shirt’s on my amazon wishlist. Now it’s up to Santa.

    Unless he’s not real. Then we’re all screwed.

    This made me smile for some reason.

  11. says

    Wow! One of only 66. Really, I the Pharyngula fans had more in them than that. You guys need to support one of the greatest Atheist speakers of all time.

  12. otrame says

    Simon @17:

    My mother called it Refrigerator Blindness. She called it that because she would tell my Dad, “On the second shelf on the right,” and he couldn’t see it. When she went to look herself, there it was, on the righthand side of the second shelf.

    My daughter-in-law calls it Male Pattern Blindness.

  13. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    My adult daughter suffers from Refrigerator Blindness. This is coupled with a rather baffling speech defect. She will open the refrigerator door and gaze at the contents of the refrigerator. After allowing much of the cold to leak out of the fridge, she will call out: “Where’s the [long silence]?” Apparently she not only cannot see what she’s looking for, she cannot name it either.

    I doubt the problem is genetic, since her mother doesn’t suffer from either Refrigerator Blindness or Refrigerator Inarticulateness. And surely you don’t think that I suffer from … um … er … ah … thingie or wossname.

  14. Brownian says

    Apparently she not only cannot see what she’s looking for, she cannot name it either.

    Mesmerised by the apparition of Zuul, no doubt.

  15. fossilfishy says

    jafafahots: Vibraphone comes from George Hrab’s Geologic podcast. Early on he told his listeners that they should come up and say “Vibraphone” to him should they happen to see him in real life. The idea was that this would break the ice because it’s such an out of context thing to say and indicate to George how they knew of him without all the awkward hemming and hawing.

    I also suspect that George might have been amused at the notion that an unsuspecting bald fashion-plate out is someday going to have a total stranger walk up to them and say “vibraphone”.

    I’d love to see more stuff on buttons. I don’t wear t-shirts anymore so buttons work for me. I suspect that I’m in the minority though.

  16. raven says

    I would tend to agree that the advertising is negligible.

    Having a little shop tab at the top isn’t advertising. I never knew it was even there until someone pointed it out.

    If the consumers say it is all but invisible, then it is all but invisible.

  17. WhiteHatLurker says

    Wow! A “They Live” reference.

    I think Consume would’ve been a better choice.

  18. ockham says

    the t shirt selection does indeed sucketh

    all good t-shirt selections need a black one, as the color of choice for male science oriented jeans wearing types, even if it does have the not-very-cool octopus picture on it (sorry, just being honest). i might just shell out for that as a show of support.

    i thought there were plenty of good images and versions of the logo from that old web site banner contest that was run earlier this year. something from that has got to be the basis of a good t-shirt design.

  19. Father Ogvorbis, OM says

    we have only sold 66 Pharyngula t-shirts. That number should be 666. Please increase your materialistic consumption of crass site-labeled merchandise ten-fold, immediately.

    And behold, an historian shale point out the mathematical error!

    66 shirts sold. A ten-fold increase would be 660 shirts, not 666. Or, if he wants us to buy ten times more than have already been sold, that would be 660 + 66 = 736.

    And, with birthday money, I plan to make a purchase. But the math will still be questionable.

  20. says

    The math does not matter. I trust that in your zeal, when I tell you to buy 10, you shall buy 100. Always round up, and always go to excess.

  21. Father Ogvorbis, OM says

    Always round up

    Which is why I shall (no ‘e’ this time (all hail Tpyos)) be ordering an XXXL. I have been rounding up. And going to excess.

  22. chigau (違う) says

    I still want some dead-porcupine-themed gear.
    Tastefully rendered presented, of course.

  23. Rey Fox says

    Geez. I’m a notoriously picky T-shirt consumer, and I think the octopus shirt is pretty danged nice. I even bought one.

    all good t-shirt selections need a black one, as the color of choice for male science oriented jeans wearing types

    Don’t you know that black shows Cheeto crumbs the most?

  24. kimulrick says

    I would love a pharyngula t-shirt to advertise my excellent taste in blogs to the world, just not that one.

    You definitely need more than 1 option.

    I’d buy the Japanese drawing one, and probably a typographic one with just Pharyngula and the catchphrase on it.

    Also I prefer the softer interlock for t-shirts rather than the 100% cotton. Just sayin’.

  25. Marie the Bookwyrm says

    The “I Queued Up For Hours To Have Gay Sex With Brownian And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” shirts are still on backorder.

    WANT!!

  26. Gunboat Diplomat says

    Why isn’t there a t-shirt entitled “Can’t stop mansplaining” I’d totally buy one of those. Seriously!

  27. peterh says

    PZ,

    Using some texts as a benchmark, you would only have to sell 616 in order to have arrived.

  28. IndyM, pikčiurna says

    I TOTES want a Pharyngula T-shirt (or hoodie, or tote bag, etc.), but I’m not too crazy about what’s actually available at the moment. IIRC, PZ started a thread on the old site, in which he asked for suggestions and comments re Pharyngula merchandise. There were some great suggestions (and I, too, love and want the Brownian T-shirt)–perhaps more selections could be added based on The Horde contributions to that earlier thread?

    I really want a People’s Republic of Pharyngula T-shirt. Crocoduck or Raptor Jesus (or Jesus with the Baby Raptor) would be cool, too. So many excellent possibilities… (If I knew anything about graphic design, I’d offer to help create some shirt designs, but I’m clueless about that stuff.)

    Incidentally, I had lunch with an old friend the other day, and I was telling her about my now out-of-the-closet atheism. She told me about a great sign someone had posted on a Brooklyn street: Curb Your God. This is probably old hat to The Horde, but I thought it was brilliant.

  29. David Marjanović says

    The paper on refrigerator blindness is majorly awesome, and so is the reply to it! I just downloaded both ^_^

    Wow! One of only 66. Really, I the Pharyngula fans had more in them than that.

    More what – money?

  30. Moggie says

    chigau:

    What’s the message?

    Actually, forget I asked. I has a sad since reaching a certain age ending in zero, but realising I was being immature about that has kind of cheered me up.

  31. Sir Shplane, Grand Mixmaster, Knight of the Turntable says

    So who do I have to turn my thought processes over to to get that on a shirt?