Oh, no. I was sent a photo by a reader…a photo of such terrifying horror that one cannot imagine the reality without reeling back in shock. I hesitate to put it here, but…the shattered fragments of my mind can no longer resist the compulsion to infect the world with this atrocity. I tried, I swear I tried, but the gibbering screams — I think they’re mine — have splintered my resistance. I’m about to click…I’m about to expose you all to this nightmare…
But wait. I’ve mustered enough will to at least put it below the fold. Warn everyone! Don’t click! Don’t look! Nooooooooo…my mind is slipping into the primordial void, the madness rippling like ravaging worms through my brain…
I told you not to look.
67 comments
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Cuttlefish
26 November 2011 at 5:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Finally, baby pics with the right number of legs!
cicely, unheeded prophetess of the Equine Apocalypse
26 November 2011 at 5:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Kidthulhu!
-
EvoMonkey
26 November 2011 at 5:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
A cephalopod that eats happy laughing babies whole!!!!! Run!!! Run for your lives!!!
Dhorvath, OM
26 November 2011 at 5:16 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I will never recover. I may just put my head in it’s path so it may chew my nose and thereby access my brain to silence my horror. My horror…
freelunch
26 November 2011 at 5:17 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Thank goodness that you put it below the fold.
We wouldn’t want anyone to think you are an old softy.
you_monster
26 November 2011 at 5:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Where is the “not safe for work” warning?
Pierce R. Butler
26 November 2011 at 5:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
One of us?
RhubarbTheBear
26 November 2011 at 5:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
THERE WAS NO FOLD! Ohhhh, my eyes… ::clawing them out with my fingernails::
Father Ogvorbis, OMoron
26 November 2011 at 5:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Very cute.
Cute.
Very.
Laís
26 November 2011 at 5:33 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
owwnnnn!!!!
Brett
26 November 2011 at 5:33 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That’s a very cute outfit, and cute baby.
PurpleElephant
26 November 2011 at 5:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Sea Food! Woohoo!
Sili
26 November 2011 at 5:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Thank you for the warning. It kept me from looking below the fold.
Razzlefrog
26 November 2011 at 5:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BABY.
Cutest. Thing. EVAR.
(We’ll need an army of these teeny scamps to cute away the theocrats!)
Father Ogvorbis, OMoron
26 November 2011 at 5:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Bambinemari?
Carlie
26 November 2011 at 5:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I kind of want it to drool on me. Eat me first, kidthulhu!
'Tis Himself, OM
26 November 2011 at 5:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
So besides roasted and barbecued babies, us atheists can also have baby sushi.
EvoMonkey
26 November 2011 at 5:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Kidthulhu?
I shall call you Cutethulhu.
Gregory Greenwood
26 November 2011 at 5:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
‘Tis Himself, OM @ 18;
Yup, it’s seafood to go.
Father Ogvorbis, OMoron
26 November 2011 at 5:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
And the worst part? Octodiapers!
Walter Byers
26 November 2011 at 6:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
As a lover of everything Lovecraftian, you’re the best PZ. Made my day.
mat
26 November 2011 at 6:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
What!? No beard?
StarStuff! Because f**k you, that's why
26 November 2011 at 6:33 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That’s horrifyingly cute.
Jafafa Hots
26 November 2011 at 6:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Whew. For a moment I thought it was going to be one of those goofy costumes people put on dogs.
I hate those. They’re inhumane.
Azkyroth
26 November 2011 at 6:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I figured babies were more like Azathoth. Mindless, gibbering, yet everything revolves around their whims.
mythusmage
26 November 2011 at 7:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@26
Why do you think they refer to him as the “crawling chaos”.
Kimpatsu
26 November 2011 at 7:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Yes, I love calamari, and as an atheist I clearly eat babies, so this is a calamari baby FTW.
'Tis Himself, OM
26 November 2011 at 7:31 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Would this baby be eaten first?
grchyoman
26 November 2011 at 7:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Kidthulhu?
I shall call you Cutethulhu.
Trying to imagine Kittehulhu.
Father Ogvorbis, OMoron
26 November 2011 at 7:33 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I wonder if the bambinemare would be good steamed?
Holytape
26 November 2011 at 8:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl l’phygik ma jkui min” –
In the darkness Cthulhu waits for his diaper to be changed.
Christ and Cthulhu
Mario
26 November 2011 at 8:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Seven. Kinds. Of. Awesome.
Utakata, yes that pink pigtailed Gnome
26 November 2011 at 8:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I would be more worried about the ink squirt and where it would be aiming it. :(
Gazza
26 November 2011 at 9:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Does your wife know about your and Cthulu’s love child?
Rumtopf
26 November 2011 at 9:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Careful when you change its diapers, there’s a huge beak in there somewheres D:
frankb
26 November 2011 at 9:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That costume is so clean, it must have been put on a second before.
A. R
26 November 2011 at 10:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
PZ: have you been engaging in illicit genetic engineering?
davecook
26 November 2011 at 10:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“Watch me reduce the big creatures to gibbering morons with my powerful adorableness rays. Bwahahahahaha!”
Mr.Grimm
26 November 2011 at 11:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@27
Actually, Nyarlathotep is known as The Crawling Chaos not Azathoth.
ye olde blacksmith
27 November 2011 at 12:35 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Oh, the horror! I can only hope to be burped on first!
mythusmage
27 November 2011 at 1:26 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@40
Now that you remind me, you’re right. I should know better than to get those two mixed up.
Mr.Grimm
27 November 2011 at 1:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@42
Honestly, the only reason why I was able to correct you was because I read the Wikipedia page on Nyarlathotep.
nanahuatzin
27 November 2011 at 2:08 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I think that photo should be along the kawaii version of PZ…
Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden
27 November 2011 at 2:40 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ Mario – #33:
FTFY
Or FTFKidthulu, as you prefer.
Chris Hughes
27 November 2011 at 3:40 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Hmmm – Wouldn’t it look better on a spit, maybe?
spirokeat
27 November 2011 at 4:22 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Darn it! I was looking for an octopus outfit for my baby daughter and couldn’t find one anywhere! I wonder where this one came from. Too cool!
Matthew North
27 November 2011 at 4:28 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The horror… The horror….
John Morales
27 November 2011 at 4:51 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
“These creatures are are so undignified, yowling and screeching and spraying urine all over the place.”
(Also: They crawl! They puke! They pule! They enslave humans!)
madbull
27 November 2011 at 5:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
:*
sailor1031
27 November 2011 at 7:40 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I imagine this eldritch creature was photographed by the wan light of a gibbous waning moon?
julian
27 November 2011 at 7:49 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That’s totally going into my personal monster manual.
Adorable humanoid. EL elebenty!!111! Casts any spell with a compulsion effect as a level 20 sorcerer.
ManOutOfTime
27 November 2011 at 7:49 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
#octopi cuteness
Moggie
27 November 2011 at 8:23 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
sailor1031:
It’s… oblong?
Michelle
27 November 2011 at 8:36 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I am soooo proud. Kidthulhu is my friends’ baby. It is a female and she is from an atheist household so we can’t eat her. ;)
anton
27 November 2011 at 9:44 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
What a beautiful little Wing Nut!
Come on Detroit Red Wings!!!!
DLC
27 November 2011 at 9:52 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
. . . The Horror . . . The horror. . .
Ga-Ga Cthulhlu FT-goo-goo! …
not much sanity left. .. don’t flee, it will only consume you last!
Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart OM, liar and scoundrel
27 November 2011 at 10:08 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
MY EYES! The extreme cuteness has caused them to pop and dribble out of my eye sockets!
GAHFLARGBLAFG!
The Sailor
27 November 2011 at 11:10 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
A. R says: “PZ: have you been engaging in illicit genetic engineering?”
Again!?
Jim
27 November 2011 at 4:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
This is, indeed, a frightening picture. No animal will cause more harm. No animal will consume more resources. No animal will infect the planet the way a homo parasitus will. To see this parasite in its larval stage is indeed terrifying.
I live live in SF close to an area rich in human larvae: noe valley. The parents tote their larvae like they were the most precious creatures on earth. The larvae has become the status symbol in the area.
When I see these larval parasites, I just think: another dead cheetah. Another dead polar bear. Another dead jaguar. Or, another dead anything. The more larvae I see, the more I think about mass extinctions.
This larvae needs some sort of predator. Given that homo parasitus is at seven billion, I suspect something will evolve to eat us. No food source as large as us goes long without something evolving to eat it. I just hope that whatever evolves kills homo parasitus quickly with a great deal of pain. We deserve it.
Yes, the extinction of the black rhino has pissed me off and celebrating the existence of another larvae of homo parasitus pisses me off even more.
Mike Kimel
27 November 2011 at 4:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Here is my kid doing the same.
razzlefrog
27 November 2011 at 6:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@ Comment 61 – Jim:
Dude. It’s a little darling in an octopus costume. It’s a sweet little creature. You really care about rhinos? How ’bout drop the cynicism and advocate for environmental reform. How ’bout educate people on wise family planning. How ’bout something else.
Something not having to do with referring to people’s tiny tykes as “larvae”. Just really. Don’t be dumb.
I for one found her bubbly baby smile positively endearing.
Jim
27 November 2011 at 8:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@63:
Dude, I’ve been advocating environmental reform since I was a young boy in the 60s. Guess what? It hasn’t happened. The only thing that will stop the mass extinctions is our own.
You might want to consider that the little darlings of the wart hogs are cute to wart hogs, but to no other species.
Marcus Hill
28 November 2011 at 3:55 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It must be a symptom of my impending fatherhood that my reaction to this picture, which would previously have been “that’s nifty”, is now “Where can I get one of those? Seriously, I’ll sell you my first born… no, scratch that, it would defeat the object of buying it.”
Nancy New, Queen of your Regulatory Nightmare
28 November 2011 at 6:58 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Won’t SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN! (clutches pearls compulsively)…
anuran
28 November 2011 at 8:09 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Tekeli-squee!
Tekeli-squee!
Pseudonym
28 November 2011 at 5:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
@61: Do the world a favor and kill yourself, parasite. Nobody’s going to bother celebrating your existence.
Oh, and may a critically endangered but still living Eastern black rhinoceros take a shit on your grave.
Excluded Layman
28 November 2011 at 7:23 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
This post reminded me of a book. Good times.