Exorcist rails against superstition »« One of us?

Lovecraftian nightmare!

Oh, no. I was sent a photo by a reader…a photo of such terrifying horror that one cannot imagine the reality without reeling back in shock. I hesitate to put it here, but…the shattered fragments of my mind can no longer resist the compulsion to infect the world with this atrocity. I tried, I swear I tried, but the gibbering screams — I think they’re mine — have splintered my resistance. I’m about to click…I’m about to expose you all to this nightmare…

But wait. I’ve mustered enough will to at least put it below the fold. Warn everyone! Don’t click! Don’t look! Nooooooooo…my mind is slipping into the primordial void, the madness rippling like ravaging worms through my brain…

I told you not to look.

Comments

  1. Dhorvath, OM says

    I will never recover. I may just put my head in it’s path so it may chew my nose and thereby access my brain to silence my horror. My horror…

  2. freelunch says

    Thank goodness that you put it below the fold.

    We wouldn’t want anyone to think you are an old softy.

  3. Razzlefrog says

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BABY.

    Cutest. Thing. EVAR.
    (We’ll need an army of these teeny scamps to cute away the theocrats!)

  4. Gregory Greenwood says

    ‘Tis Himself, OM @ 18;

    So besides roasted and barbecued babies, us atheists can also have baby sushi.

    Yup, it’s seafood to go.

  5. Azkyroth says

    I figured babies were more like Azathoth. Mindless, gibbering, yet everything revolves around their whims.

  6. Kimpatsu says

    Yes, I love calamari, and as an atheist I clearly eat babies, so this is a calamari baby FTW.

  7. Utakata, yes that pink pigtailed Gnome says

    I would be more worried about the ink squirt and where it would be aiming it. :(

  8. davecook says

    “Watch me reduce the big creatures to gibbering morons with my powerful adorableness rays. Bwahahahahaha!”

  9. Mr.Grimm says

    @42
    Honestly, the only reason why I was able to correct you was because I read the Wikipedia page on Nyarlathotep.

  10. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @ Mario – #33:

    Seven Eight. Kinds. Of. Awesome.

    FTFY

    Or FTFKidthulu, as you prefer.

  11. spirokeat says

    Darn it! I was looking for an octopus outfit for my baby daughter and couldn’t find one anywhere! I wonder where this one came from. Too cool!

  12. John Morales says

    “These creatures are are so undignified, yowling and screeching and spraying urine all over the place.”

    (Also: They crawl! They puke! They pule! They enslave humans!)

  13. sailor1031 says

    I imagine this eldritch creature was photographed by the wan light of a gibbous waning moon?

  14. julian says

    That’s totally going into my personal monster manual.

    Adorable humanoid. EL elebenty!!111! Casts any spell with a compulsion effect as a level 20 sorcerer.

  15. Moggie says

    sailor1031:

    I imagine this eldritch creature was photographed by the wan light of a gibbous waning moon?

    It’s… oblong?

  16. Michelle says

    I am soooo proud. Kidthulhu is my friends’ baby. It is a female and she is from an atheist household so we can’t eat her. ;)

  17. DLC says

    . . . The Horror . . . The horror. . .

    Ga-Ga Cthulhlu FT-goo-goo! …

    not much sanity left. .. don’t flee, it will only consume you last!

  18. Dr. Audley Z. Darkheart OM, liar and scoundrel says

    MY EYES! The extreme cuteness has caused them to pop and dribble out of my eye sockets!

    GAHFLARGBLAFG!

  19. Jim says

    This is, indeed, a frightening picture. No animal will cause more harm. No animal will consume more resources. No animal will infect the planet the way a homo parasitus will. To see this parasite in its larval stage is indeed terrifying.

    I live live in SF close to an area rich in human larvae: noe valley. The parents tote their larvae like they were the most precious creatures on earth. The larvae has become the status symbol in the area.

    When I see these larval parasites, I just think: another dead cheetah. Another dead polar bear. Another dead jaguar. Or, another dead anything. The more larvae I see, the more I think about mass extinctions.

    This larvae needs some sort of predator. Given that homo parasitus is at seven billion, I suspect something will evolve to eat us. No food source as large as us goes long without something evolving to eat it. I just hope that whatever evolves kills homo parasitus quickly with a great deal of pain. We deserve it.

    Yes, the extinction of the black rhino has pissed me off and celebrating the existence of another larvae of homo parasitus pisses me off even more.

  20. razzlefrog says

    @ Comment 61 – Jim:

    Dude. It’s a little darling in an octopus costume. It’s a sweet little creature. You really care about rhinos? How ’bout drop the cynicism and advocate for environmental reform. How ’bout educate people on wise family planning. How ’bout something else.

    Something not having to do with referring to people’s tiny tykes as “larvae”. Just really. Don’t be dumb.

    I for one found her bubbly baby smile positively endearing.

  21. Jim says

    @63:

    Dude, I’ve been advocating environmental reform since I was a young boy in the 60s. Guess what? It hasn’t happened. The only thing that will stop the mass extinctions is our own.

    You might want to consider that the little darlings of the wart hogs are cute to wart hogs, but to no other species.

  22. Marcus Hill says

    It must be a symptom of my impending fatherhood that my reaction to this picture, which would previously have been “that’s nifty”, is now “Where can I get one of those? Seriously, I’ll sell you my first born… no, scratch that, it would defeat the object of buying it.”

  23. Nancy New, Queen of your Regulatory Nightmare says

    Won’t SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN! (clutches pearls compulsively)…

  24. Pseudonym says

    @61: Do the world a favor and kill yourself, parasite. Nobody’s going to bother celebrating your existence.

    Oh, and may a critically endangered but still living Eastern black rhinoceros take a shit on your grave.