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Nov 26 2011

Lovecraftian nightmare!

Oh, no. I was sent a photo by a reader…a photo of such terrifying horror that one cannot imagine the reality without reeling back in shock. I hesitate to put it here, but…the shattered fragments of my mind can no longer resist the compulsion to infect the world with this atrocity. I tried, I swear I tried, but the gibbering screams — I think they’re mine — have splintered my resistance. I’m about to click…I’m about to expose you all to this nightmare…

But wait. I’ve mustered enough will to at least put it below the fold. Warn everyone! Don’t click! Don’t look! Nooooooooo…my mind is slipping into the primordial void, the madness rippling like ravaging worms through my brain…

I told you not to look.

67 comments

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  1. 1
    Cuttlefish

    Finally, baby pics with the right number of legs!

  2. 2
    cicely

    Kidthulhu!
    -

  3. 3
    EvoMonkey

    A cephalopod that eats happy laughing babies whole!!!!! Run!!! Run for your lives!!!

  4. 4
    Dhorvath, OM

    I will never recover. I may just put my head in it’s path so it may chew my nose and thereby access my brain to silence my horror. My horror…

  5. 5
    freelunch

    Thank goodness that you put it below the fold.

    We wouldn’t want anyone to think you are an old softy.

  6. 6
    you_monster

    Where is the “not safe for work” warning?

  7. 7
    Pierce R. Butler

    One of us?

  8. 8
    RhubarbTheBear

    THERE WAS NO FOLD! Ohhhh, my eyes… ::clawing them out with my fingernails::

  9. 9
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    Very cute.

    Cute.

    Very.

  10. 10
    Laís

    owwnnnn!!!!

  11. 11
    Brett

    That’s a very cute outfit, and cute baby.

  12. 12
    PurpleElephant

    Sea Food! Woohoo!

  13. 13
    Sili

    Thank you for the warning. It kept me from looking below the fold.

  14. 14
    Razzlefrog

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BABY.

    Cutest. Thing. EVAR.
    (We’ll need an army of these teeny scamps to cute away the theocrats!)

  15. 15
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    Sea Food! Woohoo!

    Bambinemari?

  16. 16
    Carlie

    I kind of want it to drool on me. Eat me first, kidthulhu!

  17. 17
    'Tis Himself

    So besides roasted and barbecued babies, us atheists can also have baby sushi.

  18. 18
    EvoMonkey

    Kidthulhu?

    I shall call you Cutethulhu.

  19. 19
    Gregory Greenwood

    ‘Tis Himself, OM @ 18;

    So besides roasted and barbecued babies, us atheists can also have baby sushi.

    Yup, it’s seafood to go.

  20. 20
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    And the worst part? Octodiapers!

  21. 21
    Walter Byers

    As a lover of everything Lovecraftian, you’re the best PZ. Made my day.

  22. 22
    mat

    What!? No beard?

  23. 23
    StarStuff, a soulless cunt

    That’s horrifyingly cute.

  24. 24
    Jafafa Hots

    Whew. For a moment I thought it was going to be one of those goofy costumes people put on dogs.

    I hate those. They’re inhumane.

  25. 25
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    I figured babies were more like Azathoth. Mindless, gibbering, yet everything revolves around their whims.

  26. 26
    mythusmage

    @26

    Why do you think they refer to him as the “crawling chaos”.

  27. 27
    Kimpatsu

    Yes, I love calamari, and as an atheist I clearly eat babies, so this is a calamari baby FTW.

  28. 28
    'Tis Himself

    Would this baby be eaten first?

  29. 29
    grchyoman

    Kidthulhu?

    I shall call you Cutethulhu.

    Trying to imagine Kittehulhu.

  30. 30
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    I wonder if the bambinemare would be good steamed?

  31. 31
    Holytape

    “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl l’phygik ma jkui min” –
    In the darkness Cthulhu waits for his diaper to be changed.

    Christ and Cthulhu

  32. 32
    Mario

    Seven. Kinds. Of. Awesome.

  33. 33
    Utakata

    I would be more worried about the ink squirt and where it would be aiming it. :(

  34. 34
    Gazza

    Does your wife know about your and Cthulu’s love child?

  35. 35
    Rumtopf

    Careful when you change its diapers, there’s a huge beak in there somewheres D:

  36. 36
    frankb

    That costume is so clean, it must have been put on a second before.

  37. 37
    A. R

    PZ: have you been engaging in illicit genetic engineering?

  38. 38
    davecook

    “Watch me reduce the big creatures to gibbering morons with my powerful adorableness rays. Bwahahahahaha!”

  39. 39
    Mr.Grimm

    @27

    Actually, Nyarlathotep is known as The Crawling Chaos not Azathoth.

  40. 40
    ye olde blacksmith

    Oh, the horror! I can only hope to be burped on first!

  41. 41
    mythusmage

    @40

    Now that you remind me, you’re right. I should know better than to get those two mixed up.

  42. 42
    Mr.Grimm

    @42
    Honestly, the only reason why I was able to correct you was because I read the Wikipedia page on Nyarlathotep.

  43. 43
    nanahuatzin

    I think that photo should be along the kawaii version of PZ…

  44. 44
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @ Mario – #33:

    Seven Eight. Kinds. Of. Awesome.

    FTFY

    Or FTFKidthulu, as you prefer.

  45. 45
    Chris Hughes

    Hmmm – Wouldn’t it look better on a spit, maybe?

  46. 46
    spirokeat

    Darn it! I was looking for an octopus outfit for my baby daughter and couldn’t find one anywhere! I wonder where this one came from. Too cool!

  47. 47
    Matthew North

    The horror… The horror….

  48. 48
    John Morales

    “These creatures are are so undignified, yowling and screeching and spraying urine all over the place.”

    (Also: They crawl! They puke! They pule! They enslave humans!)

  49. 49
    madbull

    :*

  50. 50
    sailor1031

    I imagine this eldritch creature was photographed by the wan light of a gibbous waning moon?

  51. 51
    julian

    That’s totally going into my personal monster manual.

    Adorable humanoid. EL elebenty!!111! Casts any spell with a compulsion effect as a level 20 sorcerer.

  52. 52
    ManOutOfTime

    #octopi cuteness

  53. 53
    Moggie

    sailor1031:

    I imagine this eldritch creature was photographed by the wan light of a gibbous waning moon?

    It’s… oblong?

  54. 54
    Michelle

    I am soooo proud. Kidthulhu is my friends’ baby. It is a female and she is from an atheist household so we can’t eat her. ;)

  55. 55
    anton

    What a beautiful little Wing Nut!

    Come on Detroit Red Wings!!!!

  56. 56
    DLC

    . . . The Horror . . . The horror. . .

    Ga-Ga Cthulhlu FT-goo-goo! …

    not much sanity left. .. don’t flee, it will only consume you last!

  57. 57
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    MY EYES! The extreme cuteness has caused them to pop and dribble out of my eye sockets!

    GAHFLARGBLAFG!

  58. 58
    The Sailor

    A. R says: “PZ: have you been engaging in illicit genetic engineering?”

    Again!?

  59. 59
    Jim

    This is, indeed, a frightening picture. No animal will cause more harm. No animal will consume more resources. No animal will infect the planet the way a homo parasitus will. To see this parasite in its larval stage is indeed terrifying.

    I live live in SF close to an area rich in human larvae: noe valley. The parents tote their larvae like they were the most precious creatures on earth. The larvae has become the status symbol in the area.

    When I see these larval parasites, I just think: another dead cheetah. Another dead polar bear. Another dead jaguar. Or, another dead anything. The more larvae I see, the more I think about mass extinctions.

    This larvae needs some sort of predator. Given that homo parasitus is at seven billion, I suspect something will evolve to eat us. No food source as large as us goes long without something evolving to eat it. I just hope that whatever evolves kills homo parasitus quickly with a great deal of pain. We deserve it.

    Yes, the extinction of the black rhino has pissed me off and celebrating the existence of another larvae of homo parasitus pisses me off even more.

  60. 60
    Mike Kimel

    Here is my kid doing the same.

  61. 61
    razzlefrog

    @ Comment 61 – Jim:

    Dude. It’s a little darling in an octopus costume. It’s a sweet little creature. You really care about rhinos? How ’bout drop the cynicism and advocate for environmental reform. How ’bout educate people on wise family planning. How ’bout something else.

    Something not having to do with referring to people’s tiny tykes as “larvae”. Just really. Don’t be dumb.

    I for one found her bubbly baby smile positively endearing.

  62. 62
    Jim

    @63:

    Dude, I’ve been advocating environmental reform since I was a young boy in the 60s. Guess what? It hasn’t happened. The only thing that will stop the mass extinctions is our own.

    You might want to consider that the little darlings of the wart hogs are cute to wart hogs, but to no other species.

  63. 63
    Dr Marcus Hill Ph.D. (arguing from his own authority)

    It must be a symptom of my impending fatherhood that my reaction to this picture, which would previously have been “that’s nifty”, is now “Where can I get one of those? Seriously, I’ll sell you my first born… no, scratch that, it would defeat the object of buying it.”

  64. 64
    Nancy New, Queen of your Regulatory Nightmare

    Won’t SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN! (clutches pearls compulsively)…

  65. 65
    anuran

    Tekeli-squee!
    Tekeli-squee!

  66. 66
    Pseudonym

    @61: Do the world a favor and kill yourself, parasite. Nobody’s going to bother celebrating your existence.

    Oh, and may a critically endangered but still living Eastern black rhinoceros take a shit on your grave.

  67. 67
    Excluded Layman

    This post reminded me of a book. Good times.

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