I’m not going to post this email I received, simply because it is insanely long, 15,000 words of random caps and peculiar color changes. Just to give you a taste, this is the subject line:
Subject: SCIENCE, AND THEOLOGY {{ Cogent Word for the 100’s of new ears in Science and theology we contacted/called last week around earth }} CHIMERISM, deaths/Wolbachias/satans attack upon Adams Society, ULtra Microbic Life Force/death Force — How does the Harlot called death ride Adams children and cause death and aging??? Listing below — {{ A Brief Word on obamas Buffet taxes, and Word that all most pay their share, Very well stated }} The Holyone has been Shaking Greece trying to tell Germany and all do not feed them any more — Eleanor Mondale and Kara Kennedy Esq; Die at Fifty one, but hours from each other — His Quakes now become stronger to Oklahoma and Canada —- SCIENCE allowed Gamers to finish their Research — “i” gather those of increased knowledge and wisdom…Death and aging now end…..It has begun…Bring home your Missions…Dubai city is soon no longer…..
What I did want to share, though, is that this one is illustrated. Along with the author’s claim that he’s the prophet specifically sent to gather the 144,000 people who get to go to heaven, he included a lovely illustration of his lord and master, Jesus, who just happens to look rather European.
Green eyes, really? And not even a hint of a tan? Is it cloudy all the time in heaven or something?
But the other interesting thing about it is that the author has apparently been looking for science images to bolster his credibility, somehow. The amusing part is that he replaces the scientific caption with his own…it sorta changes the impact of the picture. This one, for instance, looks to me like some photomicrographs of developing Arabidopsis — it becomes something more nefarious when filtered through the twisted mind of my correspondent.
{{ One of the many biological machines, developed by the unclean spirit called death/aging/satan!!! It is not the machine you look upon, it being so small and microbic, it is the ultra microbic spirit that is navigating the machine, hidden within!!! The image is of Leaven/yeast/decomposer society/death }}
His other obsession is with chimeras, which he seems to think are truly evil. I think he seized upon the image below because it says “merge”, when all it really is is a digital merge of confocal images viewed at a couple of different wavelengths.
When both man and woman are conceived they are female, then the Fathers genome sent through time through each child born since Adam, makes the change of Female to Male, both being first given female organs, then the testosterone levels, with but a few more changes, and done, Man is born from God and Woman!!! But as shown in the first book of the Bible, and the Last, Woman the Daughter of Eve/ADAM is under greater attack!!!
I like this one best, though. It ought to be titled “SCIENCE OFFENDING GOD!”
Chimeras, “i” myself have been searching for the way Wolbachia/myco-bacterial phage spirits have altered Gods Children of Adams genomes!!! Interestingly, when “i” settled on Chimeras, and went into the internet, and merely typed in Chimeras, very little arose truly, yet some very interesting theories were exposed, they being Wrong, yet showed they were trying to awake too deaths/aging attack upon mankind/Adamskind!!!
It goes downhill from there. The rest is ranting about Obama, sodomites, droughts and hurricanes, larded with lots of bible quotes…the usual pedestrian stuff I find in my mailbox.
(Also on Sb)
I’ve run across this…person…in some late night internet jaunts. This is a case of biologically-minded fear of demon possession, is all. Same terminology, same ideas, just he can say vaguely science-sounding things.
Its so sad that someone can spend so much time on something so pointless and stupid. Such a waste.
Dembski!
I kid, Bill.
That’s why microscopes were invented, to find the Satan working within life.
Seriously, though, this person is not evidencing a rational mind at all. I hope someone’s looking after this individual.
Glen Davidson
Oh yeah, the guy who is so big-H Humble he calls himself “i”.
And still Jesus has long hair like a Frankish king, in stark contrast to what Paul wrote about what long hair is to be for a man.
I can’t even….
Did you deliberately omit the picture of the burning goat?
It’s a tribute to the original designers of the email specification that subject lines that long are even allowed. I’m curious as to his non-capitalisation of ‘Satan’ though.
As to the picture of Jebus, He’s a ginger, which explains why the Romans nailed him up – obviously an early case of gingerphobia.
To be fair, I think the second set of images may well be a chimera. The labels are for early embryonic inner cell mass or trophectoderm. The GFP tag says that they are human embyronic stem (hES) cells. So my quick interpretation would be that someone stuck hES cells into some other embryo and thus did actually create a chimera. I’m not sure what the bottom panels that appear to make a human ICM and a native ICM are showing though…. Maybe it’s the creation of mouse and human monozygotic twins!
I think he is trying to tell you summat PZ…I’m Just not 100% on the what!
That side dude needs medical intervention!
0,o
I like to call mine ‘my Satanscope’.
It looks like it was a copy-and-paste from a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s Pure Castille Soap!
Christ, PZ, yeah! What the fuck do you think the angels stand on? Ignorant fucking atheist…
Is there also a non-cogent version for the more casual reader?
Off-topic (or is it?) P.S.: I just saw our academic dean’s justification for a new math faculty position. It was entirely formatted in Comic Sans! (“Professor Gumby will now teach you basic algebra!”)
You beat me to it, Matthew; I was going to shout out “Dr. Bronner’s back from the dead!”
(Say, PZ, have you ever gotten an email from the “Toshiba is mind-controlling me!” guy? He’s been (or was?) an inveterate spammer for years; another sad case of apparent genuine insanity.)
Hard to imagine that it can go downhill from there. “When you find yourself in a hole … stop digging!”
Is that some of the sophisticated theology we hear so much about?
Anyone else get the impression this guy watched Neon Genesis Evangelion and didn’t realize it was fiction?
That’s pre-mullet Jeebus. Mullet Jeebus was a bit darker and more obvious.
Let’s just hope it’s not another Mabus.
I’d love to hear his views on indiscriminate cephalopod sperm-throwing.
This sort of association rant of grandiose delusional ideas is typical of someone in a manic state suffering from Bipolar Disorder.
Obama is putting a tax on buffets?
For those into squid sex see blog:
‘NOT EXACTLY ROCKET SCIENCE’
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2011/09/20/indiscriminate-squid-just-implantin-everyone-with-sperm/#more-5376
I thought Elijah Truth had flounced. Looks like “it” may be gearing up for another wave of {{strangely garbled rants that don’t reference the threads they are posted in}}.
I regularly write whole emails shorter than that subject line.
(No promises on being more coherent though, at least until my first coffee)
Is English this person’s first language? Some of the sentence structure seems a bit off.
That’d be impressive though, I could never rant like that in a second language.
Haven’t we run into this bozo before? I have vague recollections of double brackets and quoted i‘s?
~~~
Ψ. Once again my entire country gets same-level billing as a diddly little state.
Anyone else get the impression this guy watched Neon Genesis Evangelion and didn’t realize it was fiction?
Or the history channel maybe?
I read it, but either it’s far above my intellect to grasp or it’s simply mind-boggingly stupid, because I didn’t understand any of it…
Death causes death? Is that like time travel? Does it use a TARDIS, phone booth or DeLorean?
And still Jesus has long hair like a Frankish king, in stark contrast to what Paul wrote about what long hair is to be for a man.
This part doesn’t bother me…most of what Saul of Tarsus wrote has fuck-all to do with Jesus of Nazareth.
I this the same person responsible for this site? The style seems very similar.
Eddie Izzard on the absurd idea of Jesus (if he existed,) being a white man.
Love the guy – the greatest comedian.
Wow.
Now, sitting in my federal office (taking a break, which is allowed), my workplace suddenly seems normal and logical. Thank you.
Wow.
This is an example of disorganized thought process and possibly neologisms. This person may well have a psychotic disorder.
This is what happens to people who ignore Time Cube.
Yeah, I’ve also seen him (or someone else who also copy and pastes huge swaths of text from the same insane site that doesn’t look like it’s been updated since the 1500’s) when he posted on the rational response squad forum. Needless to say he was a total kook. Sorry you had to be exposed to his level of crazy P.Z. but it was only a matter of time until he tried to work you over with his giant, brightly colored, copy-and-pasted walls of text.
No Gods, No Masters
Cameron
Well this strange thing does mention Wolbachia. And I have to give them credit for that since Wolbachia is my favorite parasite. (Toxoplasma gondii is a close second.)
The mitochonrdia are rebelling!
Is your real name, Captain Obvious?
Perhaps he’s confusing natural chimerism with the Chimera aliens from the Resistance game series.
I jest, of course; this person is just mentally ill.
I have twin uncles who were the right age to become hippies during the 60s, and they both grew their hair long. My grandmother, exasperated by their refusal to cut their hair, wondered aloud: “I hate this long hair in men—I’d like to meet the man who started this fad and give him a piece of my mind.”
My uncle pointed to a picture of white, long-haired Jesus on the wall (they were all Catholic Croats): “I think he started it, Ma.”
what is this I don’t even
He’s been featured on Pharyngula before:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/12/i_get_email_71.php
and yes, he is a racist “History of the Germanic people”:
http://bjoern.brembs.net/comment-n576.html
He’s been sending this crap to a whole bunch of people, including me:
http://bjoern.brembs.net/comment-n702.html
He’s even been commenting on a job advertisement of mine:
http://bjoern.brembs.net/comment-n523.html
Utter insanity.
Now that is some 100% proof weapons-grade crazy.
If only we could somehow learn to extract energy from it, then the global fuel crisis would be ended at a stroke.
OK, maybe not, but this makes even less sense than those tiles.
No, but I hear tell of a War on Buffets.
#42 Jademus Sreg says: I jest, of course; this person is just mentally ill.
FTW!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IpPPDYWexE&w=560&h=315%5D
(grrr wordpress!)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IpPPDYWexE]
I give up :P
Do not defy Our Viking Jesus. He’ll smite thine ass. Or maybe He’ll send one of his angels (I mean, alien bounty hunters).
Speaking of chimeras, wait ’til he gets a load of Patricia Piccinini’s artwork:
http://www.patriciapiccinini.net/wearefamily/index.php?sec=yf
I’ve seen pics of her sculptures passed around the interwebs by various Luddites and fundies claiming that they were REAL transgenic
organisms created in the lab by eeeevil scientists.
Gene Ray found a new pet obsession?
Well, don’t leave us hanging PZ, are you among the 144,000 or not?
So, no more cheeseburgers in paradise? Is Margaritaville to become a war zone?
Someone should send him an update: The real face of Jesus:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/health/forensics/1282186
Sorry about the link: my keyboard has gone French again, which hides the GT and LT signs.
You do seem to get the most sterling examples of bat-shitery out there. Ever consider throwing some together for a “greatest hits” book?
I’m tempted to post that as my FaceBook status, just to creep out my friends.
seems like the lunatic from Canada is either free or has a friend.
“This is an example of disorganized thought process and possibly neologisms. This person may well have a psychotic disorder.”
From Raven
“Is your real name, Captain Obvious?”
I mention the possibility of psychosis, because people seem to be taking him seriously. I also can’t really diagnose him from afar. Addressing what he says is pointless. Of course, people can do whatever they wish or have fun with this guy’s ramblings. I just think it is more important to address ideas from “sane” people that are espousing antiscience ideas in the name of religion. This anti-science culture is too prevalent in the US and it is bringing the country down
And the tea party has the last laugh. They told you Obama was going to get Granny at the Old Country buffet.
Glen Davidson
And another mail that screams of mental illness. You sure now how to attract the crazies, PZ. This particular piece looks like unstructured thought that is associated with Schizophrenia – complete lack of logic consistency, odd capitalization, absurd punctuation (lots of brackets, almost no full stops), obsession with people lacking any actual connection to the subject matter… tragic, really.
Schizophrenia in particular is unusually consistent in how it affects writing. So much, in fact, that there has been research done on how to write programs capable of identifying schizophrenics from their writing alone.
All your cell are belong to us!
Wait a minute. I remember there used to be this weird commenter that, when doing first person pronoun, said “i”. Is it the same guy?!
@bjorn
So it is the same guy. No wonder the “i” is so familiar.
At least the next time you’re at a loss for words you’ll know where to find them PZ.
Maybe that’s supposed to be “the Harley called ‘Death Ride'”. I think I saw one of those in Laconia this summer.
In the BBC video series “Human Planet”, there is a segment on men in New Guinea who go into the forests to hunt birds of paradise so they can decorate themselves with the colorful feathers. These are collected in order to attract mates in an annual Goroko dance festival. Merely possessing and artistically displaying the collected feathers elevates a man’s status.
This guy seems to be the perfect Internet/Google age version of this tribalistic collection and display of info-trinkets.
That. Is. Spectacular!
The Jesus portrait reminds me of a fairly early Daily Show bit, back in the days when they ridiculed conventional idiots instead of political idiots, when they sent someone out (Colbert I think?) to interview a woman who had painted dozens of portraits of Jesus Christ.
Every one of them was a dead ringer for Kevin Costner.
I there an opposite of the MacArthur Foundation “Genius Grants”? I’m pretty sure we’ve found a nominee…
You should ask your publisher if they have any interest in a book of the random e-mail you get.
From what I can tell, i think he is talking about one of my own publications. If so, I have never been so proud of a citation!
You know what I like most about the internet? The fact that there are people like the person who sent this email on it. Some of them go so far as to author entire huge websites of this strangeness.
I recall watching various movies and television series (inevitably some kind of “sci-fi x-files like” fantasy stuff), where a character will stumble upon the “strange guy’s” temple, with writing on every wall and surface (including the floor), along with bookshelves filled with similar strangeness. I’ve known that such individuals did exist, and I’ve often wondered what – if anything – ever happened to these rambling bits of prose?
Were they destroyed? Were they cataloged? Could they be researched? Was there anything to learn from them?
These people eventually found the internet, and some have built websites far larger than any physical medium could contain for their “temples of prose”; we can all see them (crank.net, anyone?) – but sadly, most all of them are just as opaque as if they never existed, and not much can be gleaned from them, except that their authors have a skewed outlook on the world.
Still – I am glad they have another outlet, and that we can finally see their musings, and still hope – in some manner – to be able to understand what it is that they experience…
Sounds schizophrenic to me. Hope the poor thing gets back on his meds.
I knew a man who thought Satan resided inside the body in microscopic form. This man would spit all the time. He’d try to control himself while indoors but outside it was spit, spit, spit, as he tried to keep the devil outside his body. If he was standing still, it would take only a few minutes before there was a big pool of frothy white saliva beside him.
People like this are mad – they should be in hospital and given the drugs they need to act normally again.
That’s would should happen but during the 1980’s (the decade of greed is good) Governments around the world said fuck the crazies, give’em nothing, and let’s put the money we save into the politician’s pension fund.
This reminds me of a SF story I read once about a world in which the microscope was invented earlier and used to examine blood. And how religious superstition interpreted something in the blood (I don’t recall what it was, but it was some common inheritable thing observable by microscope) as the presence of an evil spirit.
The story then tracked through time observing how mechanically observable ‘evil possession’ affected society and people.
I wish I could recall the author and stories name. I recall it as being very good.
Too bad Finnegans Wake was already written. Your correspondent seems to have the style down pat.
It’s not just the portraits of Hey-Suess that are wrong, I notice that the images of the snake, talking to Eve, never have their four legs!
crOsh at 74 asked: I’ve known that such individuals did exist, and I’ve often wondered what – if anything – ever happened to these rambling bits of prose?
I’ll just leave this here:
http://web.archive.org/web/20080215015348/http://www.pacifier.com/~dkossy/kooksmus.html
Foolish-Rain @ 71:
Wouldn’t that be the Templeton Prize?
crOsh, there’s also this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Realms-Unreal-Insane-Writings/dp/0941423573/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=13166
if you’re genuinely interested and intrigued.
These email ramblings are reminiscent of the manifesto given to the FBI by Jaycee Dugard’s kidnapper. Are you sure this guy doesn’t have a tent in his backyard?
It’s crazy how often these people pop-up in science forums. Check out the complex unsupported theories with the veneer of hypertechnicality and neologisms in the comments by “Bruce Voigt” at this Scientific American Story:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=living-in-a-quantum-world&posted=1
The schizoid personality is endlessly fascinating.
Heh.
Not often one can write “insanely long” and be literal rather than hyperbolic.
I tried to read the title out loud. I got as far as the third line.
You can’t comprehend fact that Cube4 simultaneous 24 hour days rotate within same 24 hour rotation of Mother Earth. You are educated stupid.
(Both happy and disappointed I wasn’t the first to get “timecube” from that, #37)
Admittedly, Canada has less people and lower GDP than California. So, yeah, it’s alot like a state. At least, if you’re a Californian.