Whilst browsing the Fall 1999 edition of the Detroit Baptist Seminary Journal the other day, as one does, I came across this lovely little passage from William W. Combs in his article “Errors in the King James Bible?”
There have been a number of well-known printing errors in various editions of the KJV over the years. A 1631 edition omitted the word “not” from the seventh commandment (Exod 20:14), yielding “Thou shalt commit adultery.” For this error the king’s printers were fined £300 and the offending edition was commonly known as the “Wicked Bible.”
A 1795 Oxford edition became known as the “Murderer’s Bible” because Mark 7:27 read “Let the children first be killed,” instead of “filled.”
Not extremely deep or insightful, but pretty friggin funny!
31 comments
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Ophelia Benson
November 17, 2012 at 12:04 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I love it when people leave out a “not” and say the opposite of what they intend. I suppose that makes me a bad person…
MattintheCrown
November 17, 2012 at 12:32 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
No! It totally does !
wholething
November 17, 2012 at 12:33 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Didja hear about the old monk who was comparing old texts and discovered that the word was supposed to be “celebrate”?
An idea popped into my head this afternoon and I pictured it as a NSC cartoon. Christians say that Man was responsible for introducing evil into the world by eating the fruit. But before that, God had said “Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.” The serpent said, “Ye shall not surely die.” Since these are contradictory statements, they cannot both be true, so at least one is a lie. Why isn’t that lie the sin that brought evil into the world? Why did humans have to take the rap?
Besides, isn’t it childishly naive to believe that knowledge can be consumed through the digestive system?
Christoph Burschka
November 17, 2012 at 12:38 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
This one’s sadly not real:
fractalheretic
November 17, 2012 at 1:22 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
@Wholething: That’s a good point, but it was actually God who lied, not the snake. “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.”(Genesis 2:17) But they didn’t die “in the day that thou eatest.” Supposedly they lived about 900 years.
Steve R
November 17, 2012 at 2:36 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I’ve seen claims by fundiewhackazoid preachers that before the Fall, nothing ever died. That’s so batshit crazy that it’s hard to imagine even a Biblical literalist preacher taking it seriously.
As for the 900 years, and other extreme ages in the Old Testament, it’s been proposed that the word translated as “years” really meant “months.” 900 lunar months is roughly 69 years.
jimmylegs
November 17, 2012 at 3:06 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
That would mean some of them were having children at the age of 2. Eg genesis11:14 Salah had Eber at 30 and lived to 403
dmcclean
November 17, 2012 at 3:35 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
If it really meant months then wouldn’t the earth is much *younger* even than the run-of-the-mill YECs claim?
Number 2 Pencil
November 17, 2012 at 3:56 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I have a New American Bible that has the word ‘God’ missing from one of the pages. I only figured it out after reading the line over and over until I realized that what was wrong with it was that particular missing word.
Lonely Panda, e.s.l.
November 17, 2012 at 4:00 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I just found out that the local state capitol had a 10 commandments monument installed yesterday. The church/state separation issue bothers me, but it seems that more people are upset because of spelling problems:
Remembering how to spell “Sabbath” is, of course, one of the lesser teachings tucked away in Deuteronomy and no longer relevant in light of the new covenant.
(And they wonder why we have trouble attracting companies to the state.)
Psychopomp Gecko
November 17, 2012 at 7:19 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Someone should put up a similar monument right beside the 10 Commandments one that reads, as if ending each line of the commandments: “or we will murder you.”
Just to make sure that people remember there was a certain punishment for breaking any of those. Hey, if you live by the commandments, you die by the commandments. Only fair.
Psychopomp Gecko
November 17, 2012 at 7:29 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
There was another one called the Fool’s Bible, “The fool hath said in his heart there is God”
I’d love to pull that one out like it was a regular one and show the quote to a Christian.
oolon
November 17, 2012 at 11:55 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Just talking to my Methodist minister in-laws and they mentioned a few well known ones – vinegar bible and printers bible. However looking them up I see there is a whole Wikipedia page.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_errata
The ‘wife beaters’ bible seems true to its women hating core, although seems more intentional than an errata. Better not mention that one for the sake of in-law relations.
StevoR
November 17, 2012 at 2:38 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Reminds me of that old well-known (& apparently true) tale of the man who wanted to ascertain God’s will for his life, so he decided to open his NT at random and apply whatever verse appeared. The passage selected read, “The Lord rebuke you” (Jude 1:9). Shaken, he decided to start over. This time it read: “Then he went away and hanged himself.” (Matthew 27:5). And trying once more, he got, “Now go and do the same” (Luke 10:37).
StevoR
November 17, 2012 at 2:45 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Plus whilst its not in the Bible itself there’s this one :
‘Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church
labelled ‘For the Sick’ is for momentary donations only.’
– - Apparently a real notice in a Church.
Too.
cag
November 17, 2012 at 5:50 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Then there is the one thing that all bibles lack – truth.
movinbutnotshakin
November 17, 2012 at 6:45 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
This could be a news flash: “Christians Accept that Human Errors can Creep into Their Texts!” If only we could get them to do the same for the countless early scribes who copied the copies of copies of copies.
nohellbelowus
November 17, 2012 at 8:36 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
The Beer Brewer’s Bible:
“I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the yeast of my brothers, do for me.”
raymoscow
November 17, 2012 at 9:21 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
The funniest KJV passage that comes to mind is Acts 1:20:
‘For it is written in the book of Psalms, Let his habitation be desolate, and let no man dwell therein: and his bishoprick let another take.’
They were all lined up to get that bishoprick.
Hairy Chris, blah blah blah etc
November 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Blessed are the copy-setters, and twice so are the proof-readers….
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November 19, 2012 at 9:32 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
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scenario
November 19, 2012 at 2:18 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I wonder how many Christians sought out the bible that said thou shalt commit adultery since the bible is never wrong.
Trebuchet
November 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Spambot alert on #21!
Alverant
November 20, 2012 at 8:09 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
In the TV series Red Dwarf one of the characters is a 7th Day Hoppist. The sect came around in a misprint of the phrase “Faith Hop and Charity” so every Sunday they would hop to church, hop during the sermon, then hop back home.
Shawn Smith
November 22, 2012 at 12:52 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Christoph Burschka @4,
The first time I saw that, I just could not stop giggling for at least 15 minutes. It’s been long enough since then that you just made tears come out of my eyes. Thanks for the memories.
Marcus Hill (mysterious and nefarious)
November 22, 2012 at 9:06 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
If you were a proper biblical inerrantist, you’d have to accept that the Hand of God guided each and every one of those editions of His Unalterable Holy Word, and jump through convoluted apologetic hoops to explain how both they and the more usual versions are simultaneously the One True Word of God. Whilst the rest of us stood around laughing.
Fleegman
November 23, 2012 at 2:46 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
What about that version that had those bears tearing apart all those children? I think it was called the People Will Still Believe That Their God Is Good Edition.
Marcus Ranum
December 6, 2012 at 5:40 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Besides, isn’t it childishly naive to believe that knowledge can be consumed through the digestive system?
The wise old man explained to a millionaire that he gained his wisdom by eating The Pearls of Wisdom. The millionaire then offered him $4,000,000 for a handful of Pearls of Wisdom, to which the wise old man assented. After the wire transfer was confirmed, the wise old man gave the millionaire a dozen Pearls of Wisdom, which the millionaire immediately gobbled. “PHAUGH!” coughed the millionaire, “these aren’t ‘Pearls of Wisdom’ they are pellets of sheep dung!” To which the old man replied, “See? They are already working.”
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