Don’t worry, Chavez will return!

Chavez-Drawn-By-Ahmadinejad-by-Mana-Neyestani Those mourning Chavez shouldn’t worry. According to Iran’s president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Chavez is a martyr who will return with the hidden imam.

In case you don’t know, the hidden imam never died; he’s hiding and will return to “bring peace and justice to the world”. Yes, really!

Most importantly, when he returns, he will be able to bring a couple of people back with him and according to Ahmadinejad one of them is Chavez!

Ah bless.

This may be why George Galloway, Ken Livingstone et al have sided with the despicable regime and Ahmadinejad rather than the protesting people of Iran?

Well at least now you have a rational explanation for it all…

(photo via Mina Ahadi)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Pot. Kettle. Black.

ahmadinejadMahmoud Ahmadinejad has accused his political rivals of plotting to rig this summer’s presidential election in Iran.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Of course he should know as that’s how he got to be president.

But seriously, even his most ardent supporters, like George Galloway, know that elections in Iran are nothing but a farce.

For starters, the majority, including women, political opponents, atheists, socialists, and basically anyone on their “must die” list are ineligible to take part. The Guardian Council – a 12-member body – probe the candidates’ commitment to Islam and the Islamic Republic of Iran and approve only the most die-hard supporters. Any candidate approved by this body is chosen because he is a most loyal servant and had proven his allegiance beyond a doubt. Candidates also have to be approved by the supreme spiritual leader Khamenei. And that’s just for starters. Add to this the absence of political freedoms, like freedom of speech or assembly or press; Sharia laws that make 130 offences punishable by death, including criticising the regime and its rulers; prisons and graves full of political dissidents… and you get the point.

The ‘candidates’ should be on ‘wanted’ not election posters. (You can read more about it in an interview with Hamid Taqvaee.)

Of course that doesn’t stop all these “analysts” and “commentators” from writing page upon page about the supposed “legacy” Ahmadinejad hopes to leave behind.

Err, x number of stonings, check.

x number of executions, check, check.

Cuts in subsidies and benefits, check, check, check…

And they do so miss the point. Anyone who has any knowledge of Iranian politics knows that the infighting and scraps within the factions of the regime is not because anyone is standing up to anyone else or trying to leave some sordid legacy behind but a reflection of the explosive situation in Iran. People despise this regime and are waiting for any chance to be rid of it. That is the only reason the election matters. It helps to provide people with a space to challenge the system.

As an aside, Ahmadinejad has declared “Viva Spring” as if he is an agent of change or as if the Arab Spring is a gain for his vile movement. In fact, his ‘election’ – like that of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt – is a gain for the establishment and an anti-revolutionary force not the other way round.

But he might not be so quick as to mention the Arab Spring next time round after the humiliating shoe attack.

Yes indeed, Viva Spring, and the end of the Islamic Republic of Iran and Islamism.

They will believe anything

Did you hear the one about Fars News Agency (a state-affiliated media outlet of the Islamic regime of Iran) publishing a satirical piece from The Onion as fact?

And that’s not even the funny bit.

The piece they published practically verbatim was about a Gallup Poll finding that rural white Americans prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama: “Gallup Poll: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama“.

Seriously?

I guess if you believe the al-Mahdi is coming soon, you will believe anything…

So much for human values

Ahmadinejad gave his speech to the UN General Assembly yesterday and has conducted a number of interviews. He didn’t say anything new really – basically his usual same old same old on everything from the nuclear issue, Israel and of course homosexuality.

Homosexuality is very ugly behaviour’ and ‘this kind of support of homosexuality is only engrained in the thoughts of hard-core capitalists and those who support the growth of capital only, rather than human values’, said the man who came with an entourage of over 140.

An Iranian  ‘journalist’  tweeted that Ahmadinejad’s views on homosexuality is not very different from Romney or Santorum – err, except for the little fact that he heads a state that hangs people for homosexuality.

In response to a question about an Iranian institute raising the bounty on the head of Salman Rushdie, Ahmadinejad responded with a veiled threat: ‘Salman Rushdie, where is he now? … There is no news of him. Is he in the United States? If he is in the US, you shouldn’t broadcast that, for his own safety.’

So much for ‘human values’…

The good news is that we need not worry about all the woes in the world which he recounted in his speech. The Al-Mahdi (you know the imam who disappeared who is going to return – the ‘ultimate saviour’) will bring an end to it all:

‘God Almighty has promised us a man of kindness, a man who loves people and loves absolute justice, a man who is a perfect human being and is named Imam Al-Mahdi, a man who will come in the company of Jesus Christ, peace be upon Him, and the righteous’ and whose arrival on earth ‘will mark a new beginning, a rebirth and a resurrection. It will be the beginning of peace, lasting security and genuine life,’ he said.

Of course Iranians can’t – and won’t – wait that long. One of Ahmadinejad’s entourage, Ramin Mehmanparast, deputy foreign ministry spokesperson, had to secure the help of none other than the NYPD to save him from angry protesters.

And not even their dear old al-Mahdi will be able to save their regime from the wrath of the Iranian people.

As an aside, that’s not to say that the anti-imperialist post-modernist Left aren’t trying hard to defend the regime any chance they get. The disgusting Communist Party of Canada and Canadian Peace Alliance have called for an International Day of Anti-War Action on 6 October to denounce, among other things, the severance of ties between Canada and Iran. It’s like ‘progressives’ siding with the apartheid regime of South Africa when it was being boycotted by various states.

Any sane person should be against a war on Iran but that doesn’t mean they have to do the regime’s bidding now does it? But try and explain it to this lot.

The al-Mahdi will be here before they get it.