Oooh, look at me, with two colons in the title of this post. Just like the two colons it took to have shat out this monsterpiece (WHAT A LEAD-IN!), which goes from 10,000 BC to Star Wars so abruptly that it’s almost as though the plot was barely fleshed out to begin with.
Watch for poofy hair, a fighting style that involves using the flat end of your stone axe to kill dinosaurs and cavemen, and the two teases for the rock opera song that plays through the closing credits.
Subtitle file is available here. As always, rename to [filename].srt, where filename is the name of your copy of the movie. Put it in the same folder, run it in VLC, and it’ll do the rest. CompulsoryAccount7746, who built the subtitles, provided a hilarious animated gif that, due to size, I’ll only put in after the fold. He wasn’t able to attend live, so he threw a few extra snarks into his subtitle file. Call it downloading incentive.