Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is to American history what the Creation Institute is to geology. It is pap, pure and simple. There’s something refreshing about a movie so self-aware and so self-confident in its ability to deliver Big Epic Moments without even the slightest patina of historical accuracy. Honestly, I think the only thing I found really particularly wrong about this movie was that the vampires were vulnerable to silver, and that Abe Lincoln, latest in a long line of vampire slayers, forgot this fact for the two years making up the Civil War — a war, as it turns out, between humans from the North and vampires from the South. That’s already off the rails so everything from the first second or so of the movie is suspension of disbelief.