Don’t forget, the Gamers For Godlessness 24 Hour Gameathon fundraiser for Camp Quest and Women In Secularism starts tomorrow at 12 Noon EST! This link will take you there, though the link will only be live tomorrow at 10am EST.
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Even Adam Baldwin and Morena Baccarin and liberal reuse of CGI giant snake models from other Syfy movies couldn’t save this miserable pile of self-mockery. By the end of it I was really hoping for a better one-liner to finish off the bad guy. The fight scene with the cutout paintings was the crowning achievement of this movie, which should tell you something. That’s all I have to say about that.
Last night’s Mock The Movie, surprisingly, delivered Nazis and a time machine, and a number of snappy tunes. It did not, however, deliver on murders, the intricacies of time travel (every major character was apparently fully aware of and unaffected by the timeline manipulation), or anything resembling science, despite a twenty minute dissertation by Nazi Scientist Antagonist. Nor did it place any of the snappy tunes appropriately to the action.
Via WorstPreviews.com, a slight silver lining to all the bad news coming out of Hurricane Sandy. It seems Darren Aronofsky’s current project, Noah, has suffered from delays and set damage owing to all the flooding in Oyster Bay, New York. The best part? This quote:
To make it as realistic as possible, the director built a massive ark, which measures 450 feet long, 75 feet tall and 45 feet wide. Unfortunately, it was never meant to be sailed.
Bah! In the middle of repairing a busted desktop, which I’ll need if we intend to go through with this 24hr gameathon I’ve got planned with JT Eberhart ready to roll any time soon, so I’ll come back and edit in the subtitle files ASAP. CA7746 also sent along a hilarious screenshot of Bela Eyebrows.
Avicenna of the newly-assimilated A Million Gods joined in on this mockery. Enjoy!
Update: Here’s the subtitle file. Save as (moviename).srt in the same folder as the movie. Also, a screenshot of the kinds of hilarious moments you’ll see if you watch this movie with the subtitle file.
All the extra interface stuff is from CompulsoryAccount’s subtitle generating app, which lets him shift people’s views/tweets around and produce an actual, polished, properly-timed mockery. It is truly a work of art to watch one of these movies with our mockery in-line. Trust me. Or don’t even trust me — download the subtitle file and try it out yourself.
Yeah, yeah. We know. MST3k already pretty much pulled this apart and reassembled it into funny faces like so many Mr. Potatohead parts. But watching people mock crappy movies is not nearly as fun as mocking them ourselves. So, this Thursday, we’re going to take on the Ed Wood “classic”, Bride of the Monster. The trailer:
It’s free to watch via Youtube, and this Thursday we’re going to mock the ever-loving crap out of this movie, Bela or no. (Seriously, I love Bela Lugosi, but he probably would have taken any job at all as long as it paid.)
Start watching the movie on the appropriate Thursday at 9 p.m. EDT.
Once you’ve got the movie going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM. Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
Set up a search for @MockTM on Twitter for the duration so you can follow along with everyone else sharing your pain.
If you have suggestions for other movies that can and should be mocked, send them to @MockTM (or on this post’s comments might work too). Preference will be given to movies that are free or stream on the major media delivery services. Watch the feed, and we’ll set up the calendar for more terrible, mockable movies.
Sick wife, work still ridiculous, almost completely out of resources again. Ow. Transcript below the fold. Will edit in the subtitle files after I get some rest.
Movie was exactly what I’ve come to expect from Troma. Not completely horrible — too self-mocking to classify as horrible. Lots of senseless deaths and hammy acting and cheesy effects. Lots of self-awareness. Made it rather difficult to mock, in fact. The self-mocking ones are like that. Continue reading “Mock The Movie: Rabid Grannies transcript”→
Holy crap, I almost missed that today’s Mock The Movie day. In two hours, we will hunker down, stock up on tea and liniment and bundt cake and hope to weather the impending Zombie Granny Invasion.
This Thursday, October 11, we will be picking up a Belgian gem that will deliver what so many of our movies only promise: The cartoonishly graphic slaughter of despicable people. Seriously, we’re told no one survives the Rabid Grannies. Watch with us on YouTube.
My week has been very draining. I don’t have a lot left in the tank for blogging. I’m working nights now, but I’m also handling crises during the day, picking up lots of other folks’ slack. So I need a day or two to recharge, and hopefully I can put together a few choice items tomorrow night for the rest of the week to carry me through to the weekend.
I ended up an hour late to this one thanks to a work emergency that very conveniently came up just fifteen minutes before the start of Mock The Movie: Hercules. CA7746’s subtitle files should have me timeshifted appropriately, but I haven’t bothered to go and interweave my contributions back in sync with everyone else.
Work has been a huge timesink lately. And a huge stressor. Sorry that I’ve not been writing as much as usual these past few weeks.
Oh hey guess what time it is? Almost? In a few days?
*crickets*
That’s right, it’s time to MOCK THE MOVIE! YAY! *Kermit flail* Stephanie has the details, and our upcoming schedule:
This Thursday, September 13, at 9 p.m. EDT, the mocking crew will subject ourselves to the Lou Ferrigno version of Hercules (currently available on Netflix and Amazon streaming video). This version promises that it’s “updated” for the 1980s. That apparently means bad hair, bad special effects, and… space aliens.
As he labors, so shall we. We probably won’t feather our hair, though.
Start watching the movie on the appropriate Thursday at 9 p.m. EDT.
Once you’ve got the movie going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM. Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
Set up a search for @MockTM on Twitter for the duration so you can follow along with everyone else sharing your pain.
If you have suggestions for other movies that can and should be mocked, send them to @MockTM. Preference will be given to movies that are free or stream on the major media delivery services. Watch the feed, and we’ll set up the calendar for more terrible, mockable movies.
In other related news, CompulsoryAccount7746 had a brilliant plan, and implemented it. That plan involved building a plugin for VLC that streams a Twitter search directly to your player as subtitles. That plan is brilliant because it means you could be watching Hercules in all its glory on a media center or computer with VLC installed, and could stream the mockery directly into to the video feed so you never miss a snark, all in realtime. WE’RE LIVING IN THE FUTURE, BABY.
It’s ready for public beta, so go check out the project page and download your copy now. If you plan on watching on a different screen from your Twitter, or if you’re not technically inclined, this might not be the best option. However, for geeks like us, it’s a great idea and a sound implementation. Couldn’t ask for anything better.
