Mock The Movie OVERTIME: Star Trek Into Darkness transcript by @blakestacey

CA7746 was building a transcript-generator for the web interface to supplement my Python-based Twitter scraper a while back, for when things go sideways and the API can’t deliver the script any more, and while I was doing my catch-up on Mock The Movie stuff and read CA’s email on the matter, he mentioned that he managed to grab a transcript of Blake Stacey’s mocking of Star Trek Into Darkness. So, here it is! Huzzah for Blake! You poor sod.
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The Curious Case of the Mega-Shark, Locked in Mortal Combat with the Giant Octopus

My forfeit for Geek Girl Con having raised $2500. Yes, this means I’m participating in the DIY Science Zone track at GGC, specifically, doing a set of demonstrations about statistics, randomness and 20-sided dice.

A silent film about two giant underwater monsters. Done for Geek Girl Con 2014 fundraising, with great regrets. When the fundraiser hits $5000 raised, I vow to play Battletoads beginning to end, with unlimited lives, on Twitch.tv! Donate now to inflict pain upon me in retribution for my making you watch this nonsense!

Fonts:
Nickelodeon NF – http://www.1001fonts.com/nickelodeon-font.html
Little Lord Fontleroy – http://www.dafont.com/little-lord-fontler.font

Music: Royalty Free silent film score by Kevin MacLeod
http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/?genre=Silent%20Film%20Score
Hyperfun, Fig Leaf Times Two, Amazing Plan, Villainous Treachery
(and some sub-thirty-second snippets that would be spoilers)

Visit the Donations Page to donate to Geek Girl Con. Do it now!

Visit… well, right here… to point and laugh at the performing monkey.

Mock The Movie: Shark Attack 3: Megalodon transcript

The answer during any Mock The Movie instance to the question “what have I missed so far” is invariably “not much”. However, in this one, there WAS a John Barrowman ad-lib that made it to the final cut that you need to hear to believe. Said ad-lib was apparently an attempt by Barrowman to make the lead actress laugh; it failed, and the director kept it.

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Mock The Movie transcript: Hell Comes to Frogtown

This was a miserable pile of shit with a ton of rapey bits aimed both at the women and the Last Fertile Dude who has to go around screwing drugged women and having them thank him for it. And all of that was riding on Rowdy Roddy Piper’s charisma to pull it through. And he delivered absolutely none of the little charm he manages in the wrasslin’ ring.

This one was a real slog. My brain through the whole thing:

Q58WOKr

The ultimate verdict? Go to hell, writer of this movie Donald G. Jackson, who has evidently written nothing but cheesecake pap and a “documentary” about El Chupacabra.

This cannot hold a candle to the movie we did on Saturday at CONvergence, a special live Mock The Movie event attended by PZ, Stephanie, Ray (@DrRubidium), Ashley Q. Miller, and Miri Mogilevsky, when we took two hours off of running our parts of the con to sit around the big screen, have a drink, and mock Frankenfish. We might have to do a do-over of it on Twitter, because that was actually a decent movie… well, decent for mockability purposes, anyway.

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