For your reading pleasure, below the fold is the transcript for last night’s Mock The Movie. If you didn’t get a chance to see it, the download link’s in yesterday’s post, go grab it then come back here to read along as you watch. We start at 2:00:00 UMT, timestamps are below each line.
Continue reading “Mock The Movie transcript: Laser Mission”
Mock the Movie
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Mock The Movie: Laser Mission
If you’re one of those people whose friends have been known to say, “I’m never watching a movie with you again!” this is the event for you.
Quickly, secret agents! Obtain popcorn and booze and join us tonight — that’s right, this very night — in an action-packed mission to stop the KGB from obtaining nuclear weapons… made out of diamonds and laser beams! Can Brandon Lee stop a plot to misapply fundamentals of science in order to rule the world? Tune in to find out!
Have a Twitter account? Have some snark? Have a little bit of time tonight for a deliciously bad movie?
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: Laser Mission”
Possible Mock The Movie target: Laser Mission
I floated the possibility of mocking this particular movie amongst the Mock The Movie regulars some time ago. Evidently Everything Is Terrible put together a trailer of sorts showing exactly how worthy a target this is. How fortuitous, I don’t even have to try to make my case!
What say ye, yea or nay?
The Killing of Satan
If this is all Satan’s capable of — rolling rocks around slowly, making people cross their eyes at one another, making them rotate — then I don’t think religious folks really have much to worry about. I mean, look at that protagonist who I expect will inevitably defeat the ultimate evil, the fallen angel of darkness.
This is evidently a real movie, and would work beautifully for our Mock The Movie events. If only I could find it.
Hat tip to Everything is Terrible.
Mock the Movie: Attack From Space – transcript
Below the fold, the transcript from Mock The Movie: Attack From Space. I had to do a bit of post-production work to interleave the two separate logs, as brx0 joined late and had a few real-life interruptions. All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this one — there’s just something special about early Japanese action films. And by special, I mean especially terrible.
We do these movies about every two weeks, usually on Thursday nights, at 9pm EST. For best effect, start the movie and read the jokes while watching. Sadly, because of the interleaving, following via the GMT timestamps isn’t really possible. Well, it sort of is, if you watch my or Stephanie’s timestamps, assuming 1 AM GMT is the start of the movie.
At the moment, selection of movies is done just about at random, and I’m the only limiting factor, being that in Canada I don’t have access to Hulu so a lot of movies that are otherwise mockworthy aren’t accessible to me. Of course, with some prior warning, I’m sure I could find a way to obtain something particularly stinky, but we’ve been a bit slack in picking movies ahead of time. Next Mock The Movie will fall during my vacation to Minnesota over the American Thanksgiving period, so we’ll have a wider selection. Any recommendations, folks?
Continue reading “Mock the Movie: Attack From Space – transcript”
Mock The Movie: Attack From Space
Mock The Movie moves to Friday this week due to prior engagements tonight by some of our core constituents. This week we’ll be defending the Earth (well, Japan) from starfish-shaped aliens in Attack From Space!
Via MTM’s patron site The Journal of Are You Fucking Kidding, the rules for the movie:
Here’s how we do this Mock The Movie thing:
- Start following @MockTM on twitter.
- Start watching Attack From Space Friday, October 28th, at 9PM EST. You can find it on archive.org.
- Once you’ve got Attack From Space going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM. Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
- Let the snark roll on twitter, but keep in mind… this movie was made in 1959. In your @MockTM tweets try not to focus on special effects (or the lack thereof). Instead, focus on the plot, characters, acting, story development, etc.
The starfish shaped aliens are called Spherions, by the way. What, did you think that made them spherical or something? Shows what you know about space aliens!
Mock the Movie: Maniac
Lifted in its entirety from Almost Diamonds because I’m a content-stealing jerk.
Have a Twitter account? Have some snark? Have a little bit of time this Thursday night for a deliciously bad movie?
If you’re one of those people whose friends have been known to say, “I’m never watching a movie with you again!” this is the event for you. From the JAYFK:
Science! Sex! Psychos! Showgirls! A tenuous Edgar Allan Poe connection! A zombie?! Our next Mock The Movie selection Maniac has it all.
With a tagline “He Menanced Women With Weird Desires”, Maniac nearly guarantees it’s mock-ability!
Maniac claims to be “THE MOST BIZARRE FILM EVER MADE!” — we’ll see about that. That’s a bold claim, Maniac, and the Mock The Science team of smart-ass sci-fi fans have high (or is it low?) standards.
Here’s how we do this Mock The Movie thing:
- Start following @MockTM on twitter.
- Start watching Maniac Thursday, October 6th, at 9PM EST. You can find it on YouTube.
- Once you’ve got Maniac going, tweet your snarky comments to@MockTM. Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
- Let the snark roll on twitter, but keep in mind… this movie was made in 1934. In your @MockTM tweets try not to focus on special effects (or the lack thereof). Instead, focus on the plot, characters, acting, story development, etc. Let’s save our riffs on a movie’s special effects for a movie made after the end of the Cold War.
Snark about bad science is, of course, never unwelcome.
If you don’t feel like snarking along yourself the first time, you can still join us in watching the movie. Just do a Twitter search on MockTM to get all the snark as you go.
I’ll be, as always, running the Twitter scrape bot, and will post a log here after the movie’s over.
Mock the Movie: Rocketship X-M
Dr. Rubidium, Dr. Skyskull, Stephanie Zvan and I (yes, I just linked myself, whaddaya gonna do about it?) are teaming up once again this Thursday for our next Mock The Movie event.
Rocketship X-M promises to provide plenty of bad space science as Lloyd Bridges and his — what’s the opposite of “intrepid?” — crew somehow manage miss the Moon and land on Mars. Like you do. And encounter an alien civilization on that otherwise barren ball of rust. Like you do.
The rules for Mock The Movie are simple.
- Start following @MockTM on Twitter.
- Start watching Rocketship X-M on archive.org (public domain, free for everyone) Thursday, September 22, at 9PM EST.
- Once you’ve got the movie playing, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM. We have magical Twitter gnomes scraping the @-mentions and will have a transcript available as soon as possible over at The JAYFK. Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!