Mock The Movie: Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman transcript

Written with misandrists in mind, with a Baldwin brother playing the greasy manbaby primary antagonist and a Boss Hogg wannabe playing the secondary antagonist, this 1993 made-for-TV movie with Daryl Hannah was a vehicle for more self-aware yet still vague references to feminism than one could shake a stick at. And it gets very little of it particularly right, save for actually passing the Bechdel test and having the full spectrum of protagonist through antagonist in female characters.

Doesn’t help, though, that there was not a shred of remotely plausible science in it. Nor that the one likeable character — who actually ends up on top at the end, and not even stuck in an alien space ship like the protagonist — was written poorly enough that any goodwill won in the initial scenes were quickly squandered at the hands of her being enamoured with the aforementioned greasy manbaby. And the other character with a shot at being even remotely likeable, the deputy, was written as a credulous hayseed.

Ah well. It was a fun (in its way) romp regardless. Still mockable, but could be enjoyed as-is, as a camp classic.

[Read more…]

Blogkeeping

Over the next little bit I’m going to be catching up mostly with Mock The Movie transcripts that I’ve been neglecting to post. I’m also fundraising for Geek Girl Con, so expect a livetweeting of both the soundtrack and movie proper of Glitter when we hit $2000, and a livestream of Zelda 2: Adventure of Link once we hit $3000. Last I heard, we were at $1780, but that was around noon on Sunday. Not sure where we’re at now, but I’m hoping at least a hair more — maybe even to the Glitter goal already.

Once I’m caught up on MtM and the GGC AoW, I’ll make you go WTF with a BBQ of all the Steam games in my library. I’ve been hurting for content that won’t be particularly likely to draw people’s unmitigated ire, and I honestly don’t have a lot of resources for serious conflict lately (no, honestly, I don’t). So, I got this bright and probably delusional idea that perhaps since I have bought so many Humble Bundles, and perhaps since I’ve not really talked about many of them outside of maybe a tweet here or there, I could do proper reviews of them. I’m also considering doing long-plays of various video games and recording the results, hopefully with my musings on the problematic bits, or the design parts that need critiquing, intermingled.

As though talking about video games from a social justice perspective is a totally safe and conflict-free vocation. It’s certainly worth a try, though! Maybe it’ll keep me writing, even where every other time I open my big trap I make shit explode for, as far as I can tell, no properly-scoped reason. Maybe video games will be different, he said knowing full well Gamergate exists.

We’ll see how all of that goes!

Mock The Movie: God’s Not Dead transcript

Superman and Hercules square off in a battle of who can be the biggest asshole straw-atheist in this blockbuster that likely resulted in no appreciable increase in text messages despite the imploring at the end to text all your friends.

We watched this on April Fool’s Day. Yes, that was intentional.

Oh yeah, and dude from Duck Dynasty is in it because… uh… JEEEEZUS
[Read more…]

Mock The Movie OVERTIME: Star Trek Into Darkness transcript by @blakestacey

CA7746 was building a transcript-generator for the web interface to supplement my Python-based Twitter scraper a while back, for when things go sideways and the API can’t deliver the script any more, and while I was doing my catch-up on Mock The Movie stuff and read CA’s email on the matter, he mentioned that he managed to grab a transcript of Blake Stacey’s mocking of Star Trek Into Darkness. So, here it is! Huzzah for Blake! You poor sod.
[Read more…]