Mock The Movie: Shark Attack 3: Megalodon transcript

The answer during any Mock The Movie instance to the question “what have I missed so far” is invariably “not much”. However, in this one, there WAS a John Barrowman ad-lib that made it to the final cut that you need to hear to believe. Said ad-lib was apparently an attempt by Barrowman to make the lead actress laugh; it failed, and the director kept it.

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Mock The Movie transcript: Hell Comes to Frogtown

This was a miserable pile of shit with a ton of rapey bits aimed both at the women and the Last Fertile Dude who has to go around screwing drugged women and having them thank him for it. And all of that was riding on Rowdy Roddy Piper’s charisma to pull it through. And he delivered absolutely none of the little charm he manages in the wrasslin’ ring.

This one was a real slog. My brain through the whole thing:

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The ultimate verdict? Go to hell, writer of this movie Donald G. Jackson, who has evidently written nothing but cheesecake pap and a “documentary” about El Chupacabra.

This cannot hold a candle to the movie we did on Saturday at CONvergence, a special live Mock The Movie event attended by PZ, Stephanie, Ray (@DrRubidium), Ashley Q. Miller, and Miri Mogilevsky, when we took two hours off of running our parts of the con to sit around the big screen, have a drink, and mock Frankenfish. We might have to do a do-over of it on Twitter, because that was actually a decent movie… well, decent for mockability purposes, anyway.

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Mock the Movie: Road House transcript

Got two transcripts to upload today. One’s silly, one’s serious.

First, of course, the DEADLY SERIOUS one. If you’ve ever seen Road House, you must know just how 80s over-the-top action it is. It was actually hard to sit through in a few spots because it was so disconnected from reality. By the time the monster truck rolls over some unrelated schmoe’s automotive dealership, you’ll be hard pressed to think of it as a coherent movie so much as someone’s cinematographic bucket list.

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Mock The Movie: Slugs: The Movie transcript

I’ll admit it — I can’t resist a movie with “Colon The Movie” in the title. This was a “quality” schlocky horror film from the late 80s, and it sure tasted like it. Moving to the monthly cycle seems to have reinvigorated our participation base, too — seems once every two weeks was too much for even our hardiest stalwarts. Watch this especially for the SCIENCE!!! that happens involving some sorta science goo that can explode on moisture, taken into the sewers for no particular reason.

February 5th, we mock Road House. We’ll see how well the stalwarts do while getting roundhouse-kicked repeatedly.
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The lost Mock The Movie transcript: Atom Age Vampire

Holy crap, look what we found. This is our second-ever Mock The Movie, which, counting the do-over of Sands of Oblivion, means we have every single Mock The Movie transcript! Thanks again to CA7746 for reparsing the original logs into something useable for the web and for subtitle files. They’ll be added to the main page shortly.
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Mock The Movie: The Indestructible Man transcript

We were originally going to mock Brain Twisters, a hacksploitation classic, but Hulu pulled the movie the week before we were going to mock. That, coupled with the fact that we’d begun scheduling Mock The Movie for the first Wednesday of every month after realizing our core participation was experiencing something like mockery burn-out, and we had to start spacing it out a bit more.

The replacement that Stephanie picked out from the Youtube public domain archives was a grand choice, quite frankly. A movie with Lon Chaney as a monster, mediocre acting, but just enough of a plot that we could poke holes in it and pacing such that we weren’t particularly bored trying to do it. I think this movie hit a lot of our sweet spots. And there was some new blood in the mockery mix! Welcome aboard, folks!

Next movie up is Slugs: The Movie on New Year’s Day. Check out the calendar and past transcripts (provided by the ineffable CompulsoryAccount7746 as always) right here. Here. CLICK HERE. GODS JUST CLICK ALREADY.
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