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Tag Archive: jesusification

Mar 19 2014

You rolled a natural twenty! Go straight to hell!

Apparently someone thought enough of Jack Chick’s original tract that they decided to run a Poe-alarm-tweaking Kickstarter to get this movie made. Seriously, this thing is self-parodying, so I cannot tell if this JR Rails character is doing this in earnest, or as a parody. But either way, with the amount of money the Kickstarter …

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Dec 24 2013

What Does the Donkey Say

Some Christians just can’t leave well enough alone, apparently. They have to Jesusify even weird meme songs like What Does The Fox Say. The River Christian Reformed Church is responsible for this particular mess. Wow. Really, wow. May your god have mercy on your souls and not throw you in the pits of eternal suffering …

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Nov 01 2013

Jesus can’t save this rap

Seriously. Just… seriously. What is this even, y’all? From that place that finds other horrible things from a decade ago and posts them onto their intertubes e-webpage.

Sep 02 2013

Trailer: ChristCORE

I very much enjoy heavy metal music, with sounds that evoke imagery of primal battles and emotional release. Hardcore music is the genre’s intellectual successor in many ways, coming out of the punk rock movement in a sort of convergent evolution. And yet… even such a rebellious, discordant and anti-authoritarian genre of music is apparently …

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May 15 2013

God’s America: weep for it. WEEP I SAY.

I’m pretty inured by now to blatant religious proselytization, bad acting, campy premises, and contrived patriotism, what with Mock the Movie and all, but this video almost made me gag, it was simply so syrupy. Yes. Because a DOUBLE X porno watched with friends, or being intoxicated in public, is the END OF AMERICA. There …

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Mar 18 2013

Saw nothing at all like this on my flight to Minneapolis

They didn’t seat me in row 666, there were no pamphlets on salvation, and the seats — cramped though they were — were a hell of a lot more comfortable than those pews look. And frankly, the pilot’s rapping wasn’t nearly good enough to cause the spontaneous generation of breakdancing angels. Via Everything Is Terrible, …

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Dec 25 2012

Remember the reason for the season

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While you’re going about preparations for your holiday fĂȘte, remember the reason for the season — to Jesusify all things whether it makes sense or not. The Meaning of the Snowman The white snow represents God’s forgiveness of our sins. The circular snowballs show the everlasting life God promises us. The carrot nose shows us …

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Jul 14 2012

The Rappin’ Bible

Sketch comedy from Connecticut from the 80s/90s? Okay, fine. Probably won’t be that funny. Sketch comedy touted as the best and funniest that a morning radio show has to offer? Potential for comedy rising… Oh. It’s about the Bible, starring three Connecticut white guys pretending to be Run DMC and rapping about the Bible, who …

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