Skepticon 6 video: Sex and Violence in the Bible

The first video by Hambone Productions of Skepticon is up, of David Fitzgerald’s comedic analysis of the Bible’s naughtier bits.

Trigger warning: the Bible is very, very rapey.

I mostly enjoyed this talk, though there were a few bits that were problematic.

Many of the jokes are visual or are punctuated with visual aids, with people in the audience who are vision-impaired (Rebecca Watson made a point of narrating her slides for the benefit of these folks), and so they’re not going to get these jokes in this video either. Apologies to my readers. Also, I haven’t rewatched this, so I can’t remember exactly what was said, but I have a recollection of wincing a few times at some problematic language, too. “Bitch”, most likely.

Mock The Movie: Terror in the Haunted House transcript

Both Stephanie and I missed out on this one for various reasons. Looks like participation was exceptionally thin — only three stalwarts mocked this movie. We’re moving our mockery to a once-a-month schedule to help mitigate some of the burn-out we may be experiencing, and it’s looking like presently it will be first Wednesday of every month unless people would like to suggest a better time.

I’m also adding Slugs: The Movie, and Road House, to the mocking list. And I’m going to upload, finally, the last several Subtitle files to the archive page, provided, as always, by CA7746.
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Mock The Movie: The Cloth transcript

Imagine Castlevania in movie form, combined with The Exorcist and a smattering of Blade. Then take away all the awesome bits, waste your CG budget on the least-interesting and least-useful bits of the movie, and make sure your action scenes are nigh unfollowable. Dip it repeatedly in Jesus until well saturated. Ensure all the bad guys are easily killed, even — and especially — the Big Bad. Cast the one guy with acting chops in a supporting character role, and make him do ridiculous quasi-Anime things like building in having to make an X sign when using special weapons. And there you have it — The Cloth.
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Mock The Movie: Miami Connection transcript

Miami Connection pretty much hit the sweet spot for Mock The Movie mocking in every possible way. It included mediocre martial arts, ridiculous gore, 80s synth rock music, and a plot that almost sort of made sense if you overlooked the fact that a rock and roll band that knows Tae Kwon Do is the only thing stopping a group of ninjas from wresting control of all of Florida via cocaine distribution.

Oh, and did I mention that this is apparently a real band? Witness their 25-year reunion!

Transcript below the fold!
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Tim Minchin addresses University of Western Australia graduates (UPDATE: With transcript!)

This is an absolutely sublime speech. It is full of both realism and optimism at the same time. It is full of skepticism. It sounds nihilistic at times, but Tim Minchin does that oratory sleight-of-hand that has you looking one way while he delivers a truth sucker punch from the other.

This speech has brightened an otherwise fairly dismal day for me. I hope it does likewise for you!
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Mock The Movie: Sol transcript

We watched Sol for Mock The Movie last night. I can’t remember what happened in the movie. I have a vague recollection of poor acting, tents and sand. I think I blocked the rest as a defense mechanism. There were more than a few times I simply got distracted from the movie — I’m not used to having commercials in my movies any more, so the Hulu experience was jarring, and I was determined to find out whether or not the music on the Absolut Vodka was done by Woodkid, the same guy who did a song called Iron which was used in the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations trailer.

Participation was thin, so I’m including as an extra bonus Blake Stacey’s solo watching of Prometheus, which was an unscheduled event but certainly better worth your time.
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Getty Critics dub lame stock footage and make it awesome

Getty Images does stock photography. They also do cheap stock footage. This footage doesn’t have sound. It turns out, that is a bit of a travesty.

The computer guy is me. Totally.

Hat tip to Getty Critics and Copyranter.

Ain’t got much in the way of resources at the moment. Pretty sure I’m coming down with something nasty, and this just has to happen while my cat may have kidney stones and needs an x-ray, and I have to come up with nine grand in order to sell our house on the 26th. I can do this last part, with help from my job and friends and creative shuffling of finances, but it’ll be a lot of scrounging. If you have even the remotest pang of empathy for me, donate instead to Light The Night.