humour

Mock The Movie: Night of the Demon transcript

Jason Thibeault, , , , , 2 Comments

I had to sit this movie out, sadly, owing once again to my ridiculously full work schedule. (Hey, I’ll keep harping on about it as long as it keeps happening.) Looks like I missed one hell of a mockable movie! This is sad to me, because I’m evidently one twisted, twisted soul. What’s also sad is, owing to an issue with my Linux box that I didn’t notice immediately, since I was busy with work, I apparently lost the first twelve minutes of the mockery. And Twitter evidently purges old @-replys that aren’t on a hashtag after a certain period of time, so they’re simply missing now. It’s okay though — the movie really gets started at the twelve minute mark, as apparently that’s the first sex scene. As well as the first death scene. You’d pretty much be fast-forwarding to that point anyway!

Once I get a spare hour and a half, I plan on watching this movie to catch up with my fellow mockers. I’ll also have the benefit of doing so with the mockery in-line, via Sky Captain CompulsoryAccount7746’s subtitle conversion script. I still need to cannibalize the script and integrate it into my current mockery-scraping engine eventually. For now, the script as-delivered pretty much requires that I post it first and convert to subtitles afterward. So, subtitle files to follow.
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Mock The Movie: Night of the Demon transcript
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Mock The Movie: Zombie Apocalypse subtitle files

Jason Thibeault, , , , , 2 Comments

Pursuant to the previously stated motion to convert our Mock The Movie transcripts into a format useable by certain media readers, I hereby authorize the immediate dissemination of the following two files as relates to the mission entitled Operation Zombie Apocalypse:

File The First: Mock the Movie Zombie Apocalypse transcript with colorized tweeters

File The Second: Mock the Movie Zombie Apocalypse transcript in monocolor, for media players that can’t handle colored subtitles

I further hereby authorize the immediate promotion of CompulsoryAccount7746 to the rank of Sky Captain for meritorious conduct in movie mockery, by building the infrastructure so future mockery can be converted to these formats quickly and easily.

Signed this 38th year of Our Lord Zardoz.

Instructions: Right-click the files and and Save As. They are uploaded as .txt files, so you’ll have to rename the file. Make its filename match the name of the movie you’ve downloaded exactly, only instead of whatever file extension it is (e.g. .avi or .mpg), make the extension .srt . If you need a player that can handle subtitle files, try VLC. And if you’re having problems getting this to work, by all means, let me know in the comments.

Mock The Movie: Zombie Apocalypse subtitle files

Mock The Movie: 2012: Zombie Apocalypse transcript

Jason Thibeault, , , , , ,

As always, below the fold is the Twitter transcript for Mock The Movie: 2012: Zombie Apocalypse. I still haven’t gotten around to doing the script to convert to SRT’s, sadly. Home improvement over the past week or so has taken priority. That, and the fact that I’ve got ideas for ways to improve it means I’m unlikely to get it done any time soon — for instance, making each unique tweeter a randomly generated color, for instance, for those subtitle readers that can handle the non-standard font color extension. CompulsoryAccount, if you feel like running your script and emailing the result to me, I’ll put it up happily.

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Mock The Movie: 2012: Zombie Apocalypse transcript

U Can’t Touch Mormon Jesus

Jason Thibeault, , , , , , 8 Comments

Remember that cartoon that explains Joseph Smith’s Christianity fanfiction? The one that would eventually become banned by Mormons for laying it all out a little too clearly? Some wags somewhere on the intertubes have finally… FINALLY… turned it into a meme.

A little hard to follow the lyrics, but after repeated listening, you can get all the lulz.

U Can’t Touch Mormon Jesus

Mock The Movie: Frankenstein (2004) Transcript

Jason Thibeault, , , , 6 Comments

Below the fold, as always, the transcript for Mock The Movie: Frankenstein.

CompulsoryAccount7746 built a Python script that takes the transcript, from my blog post, and converts it into a subtitle file that can be viewed with VLC. It’s a great idea, but much as it pains me to say, it would be way easier for me to simply build in the appropriate conversion tools to my existing scrape script than it would be to first post, then convert, then edit the post to include the .srt file. Since .srt files are plain-text anyway, I might as well save CA7746 the trouble and create the conversion inline. I haven’t done it this time around, but I’ll be building something into my current scrape script (which is based on this script, if you’re interested) and will post future MtMs as downloadable subtitle files.

I might even be able to convince my current script to pull all the transcript from this last MtM even into a proper .srt file sometime today, assuming my migraine from last night (when I wrote this post) has subsided.
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Mock The Movie: Frankenstein (2004) Transcript

Mock The Movie Supercharged!

Jason Thibeault, , , , , , , 7 Comments

Good news, MtM fans — all three of you! We’ve decided on four new movies, to be mocked starting this Thursday and every two weeks thereafter. That’s right, we’re gonna come at you like a spider monkey on crack laced with caffeine (and a tiny bit of prozac to keep from having a heart attack)! Final order is up in the air, but it looks like we’ll be doing the following first:

Frankenstein (2004) –

Frankenstein movie poster

Detective Carson O’Conner and her partner Detective Michael Sloane are investigating murders of a serial-killer that mutilates and removes the internal organs of the victims. When they meet the mysterious and macabre Deucalion, they are informed that Dr. Frankenstein is alive with a legion of followers, using the name of Dr. Victor Helios.

Yes, that’s right, a modern-day sequel to Mary Shelley’s original oeuvre, a made-for-TV movie by USA Network. Distribution might be a bit difficult, as it’s still in copyright, so you might have to go to region-locked services like Hulu or Netflix. It will be an exercise for the participant to obtain this one. Others are easier to get though.
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Mock The Movie Supercharged!

An evil Easter treat for us atheists

Jason Thibeault, , , , , 6 Comments

Not only am I only celebrating the secular part of the holiday, I’m doing it in such a manner that onlookers might think I was the single most evil person in the universe for doing it. See, for lunch, I’m eating deviled live baby chickens, whole.

Deviled eggs made to look like chicks

The beak’s a little crunchy, putting it at odds from the rest of the chick’s squishiness, but what can you expect?

Idea shamelessly stolen from this image.

An evil Easter treat for us atheists

SHOCKING REVELATION: Christopher Monckton is Sacha Baren Cohen?!

Jason Thibeault, , , , , 2 Comments

Got a bunch on my plate today. So, a post with a silly video for right now. Talk amongst yourselves!

Via D-Dave in the comments of my last post about Monckton’s debate-dodging, comes definitive proof that Monckton is actually a character by Sacha Baren Cohen. That certainly explains why he can’t join the debate — he’s too busy being The Dictator right now.

SHOCKING REVELATION: Christopher Monckton is Sacha Baren Cohen?!