Ram Truck Superb Owl Farmer Wrongness

Jodi Thibeault is a skeptic, a feminist, an atheist, and most importantly, a human being. Her vocation is ass-kickery; her hobby is vineyard management.

This is so so so wrong and so many people are sighing and crying about it.

Here’s the text:

And on the eighth day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need a caretaker.” So God made a farmer.

God said, “I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, milk cows, work all day in the field, milk cows again, eat supper, then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board.” So God made a farmer.

God said, “I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt and watch it die, then dry his eyes and say,’Maybe next year,’ I need somebody who can shape an ax handle from an ash tree, shoe a horse with hunk of car tire, who can make a harness out hay wire, feed sacks and shoe scraps. Who, during planting time and harvest season will finish his 40-hour week by Tuesday noon and then, paining from tractor back, put in another 72 hours.” So God made the farmer.

God said, “I need somebody strong enough to clear trees and heave bales, yet gentle enough to yean lambs and wean pigs and tend the pink-comb pullets, who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the leg of a meadowlark.” So God made a farmer.

It had to be somebody who’d plow deep and straight and not cut corners. Somebody to seed, weed, feed, breed, and brake, and disk, and plow, and plant, and tie the fleece and strain the milk, . Somebody who’d bale a family together with the soft, strong bonds of sharing, who would laugh, and then sigh and then reply with smiling eyes when his son says that he wants to spend his life doing what Dad does. “So God made a farmer.”

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Alien entities love football!

Undeniable proof of alien spacecraft buzzing St. Louis Cathedral has been provided by AOL and the Huffington Post. The video in question:

Look at those things flying around being all super-quick and rod-like! They’ve just GOTTA be alien spacecraft! And the only explanation those stupid skeptics have is that they’re insects. Insects!

“As I reviewed one of the tapes, I noticed something streak past my camera viewfinder and thought at first it was just a bird or insect,” Escamilla told The Huffington Post.

“Looking at each frame of the footage again, I knew it was something more unusual. My wife called them ‘rods’ as they sort of looked like some kind of life form you’d see in a microscope.”

Since that time, Escamilla has collected hundreds of taped examples from around the world of these so-called rods, which vary in physical form: Some look like centipedes with appendages and others have no appendages but appear to have lights on top of them.

Skeptics maintain there’s nothing extraordinary about all of this — the objects, they say, are merely insects flying very close to the camera lens.

HAH! As though there isn’t a more reasonable explanation than INSECTS!
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