Seelix on how to spot and how to shame fake geeks

Seelix (whom you might know as Emily, the comic book costumer) has had it UP TO HERE (err, imagine me waving my hand animatedly at forehead level) with the scourge of the fandom community, the breed of supposed fan that just sucks all the joy out of being a dyed-in-the-wool fan of science fiction, fantasy and comics: the dreaded Fake Geek.

It’s time to put our collective feet down and put a stop to the mindless worship of these faux-nerds. They ruin everything with their perfect bodies and their skin-tight costumes. They ruin everything with their laughing eyes, hiding the contempt they feel for us, the real nerds. They ruin everything when they reject us when we so kindly show them the attention they were obviously asking for with their skimpy outfits. They ruin everything when they pretend to get angry when we give them a little extra grab while they take a picture with us.

It’s why they do it. They secretly love the attention. They love the groping. They love the constant romantic overtures. They only complain because they think they’re supposed to. After all, they wouldn’t dress sexily if they didn’t want the attention.

And that’s exactly why they do it. It’s obvious. They absolutely love the attention they get when donning skintight spandex and prancing around in front of their adoring sycophants.

I mean, look at these guys. Do you really believe they’re nerds? Come on.

I demand that you read on, so you know how best to identify these fake geeks and nerds who have infiltrated our community to pick up poor socially-awkward nerd girls by putting on spandex costumes and being all hot and shit. Preying on nerdy females’ vulnerabilities by pretending to like and know about the things that they like. Bah! Bet they couldn’t even name all the Green Lanterns.

Though, I think she might just be bitter. I saw her boyfriend at CONvergence and he seems to be one of “them” — bet he doesn’t even really know who Hawkeye is, or his real name (no, his first name is NOT “Agent”!), or what his non-Avengers costume looks like. Next time I see him, I’ll ask him all sorts of uncomfortable questions rather than just taking it on faith that he’s actually a fan. Rassin’ frassin.