Seeing things from a God’s eye view

I think I might have burned myself out on blogging a bit, doing the live blogging for WiS — I keep finding other things to do instead of writing things that really need to be said. Bah.

The cure for burnout is both time, and whargarbl. Here’s some tasty whargarbl from one of Sinned34’s favorite childhood memories, Fire By Night. Spoilers — it starts with Jesus catching and crushing a bullet. And it continues with a number of things that Christians think God sees and thinks. COMPLETELY SURPRISINGLY, it’s exactly what bigoted Christians think.

I don’t know about you, but I especially loved the blatant racism in the middle, with a fake Gorbachev and some Chinese stereotypes.

This clip, along with a number of others, is part of Everything Is Terrible’s Religion Week.

Saw nothing at all like this on my flight to Minneapolis

They didn’t seat me in row 666, there were no pamphlets on salvation, and the seats — cramped though they were — were a hell of a lot more comfortable than those pews look. And frankly, the pilot’s rapping wasn’t nearly good enough to cause the spontaneous generation of breakdancing angels.

Via Everything Is Terrible, where they know their quality whargarbl.

The Rise And Fall of God: a 90s compilation

Everything Is Terrible has cobbled together a compilation of their best religion-related found footage. They’re calling it The Rise And Fall of God. Here’s the first ten minutes of what’s probably going to be a multi-part series (you know, judging by the Part 1 in the title). I’m proud to say I watched the first 4:49 without a break.

THE RISE & FALL OF GOD PART 1 from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

How far can you make it without a palate cleanser? I recommend a turtle eating a strawberry.

Update: Parts two and three are available. ARE YOU BAD ENOUGH!?

Sodom & Gomorrah – 4 Kids!

Hah! Everything Is Terrible dredged up this video of Charlton Heston narrating a cartoon version of the story of Abraham and Sodom & Gomorrah. It loses absolutely none of its creepy factor or God’s utter assholery in being sanitized for children.

I have a vague recollection of having seen this (or some other episode in the series) on TV early one Sunday morning, but I don’t know if this is some kind of post-hoc explanation for a recall failure associated with… Cam Clarke? Is that who’s voicing the younger Abraham here, or am I imagining things?

Also, I can’t help but think “You maniac! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn yourself to hell!”