Crommunist imagines Macklemore and Tim Wise as a buddy cop story

Absolutely brilliant. What an inspiring story of overcoming adversity in the face of anti-white bigotry!

(ELMORE and WISER sit at a dimly-lit bar, drinks in front of them. Music by Kenny G plays in the background. The bar is mostly empty, save for a few regular patrons.)

ELMORE: I don’t get you, Wiser. You’ve been on the force for 20 years, but you’re still front line. Why not write the sergeant’s exam? Why not try to move up the ladder?

WISER: (Sighs) You still don’t get it, kid. The system is rigged against guys like us. You think I haven’t written that exam? You think I want to be stuck in the same place? It’s all bullshit politics.

ELMORE: What do you mean?

WISER: I used to be like you, Elmore. I used to believe that the system could treat folks like you and me fairly, if we played by the rules. But all that changed when the mayor hired the first black police commissioner. At first I thought it was a great step. Clear out some of the old racists, get some new blood in the chain of command. Really change the force, you know?

ELMORE: So what happened?

WISER: The new commissioner turned out to be just as racist as the old one. The first thing he did was appoint a deputy. You know what colour that deputy was? Black. Then when it was time for a new Internal Affairs chief, the commissioner put forward a list of recommendations. Not a white man on the list.

ELMORE: I can’t… I can’t believe it

WISER: Believe it. Face it, Elmore. The tables have turned. Now guys like you and me are riding at the back of the bus, while the commissioner puts all his buddies in all the positions of authority.

Read more. Now.

We’re building an army

You will be assimilated into Freethought Blogs. Resistance is futile.

Dana of En Tequila Es Verdad is running a well-stocked bar. The inimitable Al Stefaneli of American Atheists supplies A Voice of Reason to our conversation. The entire Atheist Experience crew have hung up their coats and taken a seat. We’ve got a genuine first edition copy of The Crommunist Manifesto on display, and its author Crommunist hanging out with me near the bar’s freezer (on the north wall). JT Eberhard is here to provide us with moral direction, we just have to ask WWJTD? And Rock Beyond Belief is playing live, while Justin Griffith provides security. We even have Kylie Sturgess acting as The Token Skeptic. That’s not to mention the regulars, the old ones, the Ones Who Came Before.

I can’t believe the talent we keep importing into this lineup — giants all. I mean, really, who’s left? Who would you like to see in FtB who isn’t already?