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tragedyman: Late start. Almost forgot. But this stars Phyllis Diller? Yikes.
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drskyskull: Nooooo! They're using one of my favorite Edvard Grieg pieces for the intro! #ruinedforever
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DrRubidium: Um, you spelled skillful wrong :D
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szvan: Off to a good start with "the beautiful harmony of thought."
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drskyskull: "... duty to establish quarantine against fear." Could someone notify the GOP of this?
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lousycanuck: It's the duty of every man and woman to establish a quarantine of fear by replacing it with NUCLEAR WEAPONRY.
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tragedyman: This movie must be mandatory for all Psych students, right?
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szvan: Of course all criminals suffer from a mental disease...when you diagnose criminality as a mental disease.
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BenZvan: Hang on while I sharpen this knife. You check the still while I do what I was going to do.
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DrRubidium: there's always a rack of test tubes!
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lousycanuck: "Okay, using this syringe, you put lime into coconut... and then drink it all up."
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DrRubidium: I'm already ready for Maxwell to die
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tragedyman: 02:35 - DundunDUN!
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drskyskull: This "doctor" is, like, every grad student & postdoc's worst nightmare.
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DrRubidium: well, bearded guy HAS to go
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drskyskull: *music* I would do anyyyything for you... but I won't do dead people!
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tragedyman: 03:20 - Ethics, shmethics.
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BenZvan: This movie sounds like something I would have written...then I'd decide I couldn't write and go into photography.
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DrRubidium: Maxwell, why you gotta hate on the cat?
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szvan: Some animals were highly annoyed in the making of this movie.
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drskyskull: "Once a ham, always a ham." This is written like Shakespeare!!!!
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tragedyman: 04:25 - "Once a ham. Always a ham." But enough about the cast.
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szvan: "In time, *you* may become a pompous windbag."
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lousycanuck: And so the game of cat and mouse begins. Literally.
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tragedyman: 05:10 - Because all morgues have rat problems.
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DrRubidium: just what this movie needs - a monocle!
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BenZvan: that was either 'Mary, I'll cure ya' or an homage to Mary Curie.
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drskyskull: @lousycanuck "This proves my theory - the hearts of the dead do not beat!" #theycalledmemad!
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lousycanuck: "Wait for it... wait for it... yup, the dead girl still doesn't have a heartbeat."
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szvan: "We'll have to work fast. I'll start rubbing her now."
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drskyskull: What's he doing - trying to tear her arm off? #makeawish
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DrRubidium: ah yes, a creepy reference to necrophilia
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tragedyman: 07:20 - Necrophilia. Nice.
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lousycanuck: "Special autopsy? But I hardly even know her!"
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lousycanuck: Oh, THAT'S why she's dead,there's no oxygen in that room! Luckily the cast is able to breathe bad acting, of which the room is full.
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lousycanuck: Maniac: The Most Incomprehensible Mush-Mouthed Movie Ever Made!
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drskyskull: Always a sign of a good movie - characters sitting around a lot talking to one another #sarcasm #exceptionisPulpFiction
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DrRubidium: what are the Muppet's Statler and Waldorf doing in this movie?!
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szvan: "Yes, I did establish my career in silent films, mumble, mumble. Why do you ask?"
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tragedyman: 09:00 - The drunk aide reminds me of a slurring, bald Jack Elam.
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drskyskull: Maybe the mad scientist should come up with a cure for the mumbles.
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DrRubidium: this is supposed to be a single cohesive movie, right?
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drskyskull: Chase bank is advertising for this movie. Another reason to hate the banks.
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szvan: Oh, there's the evil laughter. I was wondering where that was.
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drskyskull: "No, I didn't get my PhD in acting - why do you ask?"
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lousycanuck: "IT WILL BE MY SUPREME ACCOMPLISHMENT! Right after my glorious beard."
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DrRubidium: OK, that was an awesome evil laugh #bwahahahahahah
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drskyskull: "I don't care vere you get it - try the undertaker, WalMart, Whole Foods!"
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DrRubidium: seriously, Maxwell needs to die
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lousycanuck: Woooo! Cat fight! Worth the price of admission!
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drskyskull: I guarantee that the filmmakers just happened to see two cats fighting and thought, "Awesome! Put it in the film!!!"
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tragedyman: 13:00 - Cat fight. Because the filmmaker needed to pad out the runtime of this movie.
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szvan: Do the inspectors require tunnels in all undertakers' offices, or is it optional?
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BenZvan: I don't know what's going on, but that guy is very sad. Maybe he just heard that Steve Jobs died?
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drskyskull: @BenZvan He *does* look a bit like the Woz...
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szvan: Huh. Evil crying. That's a new one.
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lousycanuck: Wow, the doctor sure does take minor setbacks extraordinarily hard.
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rvitelli: @lousycanuck "Wow, the doctor sure does take minor setbacks extraordinarily hard. " Blame medical school.
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DrRubidium: anyone else think the doc cuckoo for Coca Puffs? #bwahahahahah
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BenZvan: Hey...there's a gun in this drawer and that guy seems very sad. Solution: meet problem.
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lousycanuck: "YOU WILL LIVE! AHAHAHA!" "Uh, dude, I'm already alive here. And now you aren't."
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tragedyman: 15:40 - His laughter indicates how sane he is.
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drskyskull: "Oh, my goodness... it just went off prematurely... this never usually happens to me, I swear!"
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szvan: "I will now draw this weapon very slowly out of this drawer so you have time to get good and freaked out. Fear my evil plan!"
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tragedyman: 16:00 - Thanks for that information. I didn't realize he might have been mentally ill.
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DrRubidium: "Just in case you hadn't figured it out, Maxwell is fucking crazy"
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lousycanuck: "I murdered my benefactor! Racked with guilt now! Ignoring, of course, the fact that he was going to mad science me to death."
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drskyskull: Sign number 1 that you're crazy: Your internal monologue goes external.
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szvan: Careful, kids. Committing murder results in demonic possession.
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lousycanuck: Who needs to go to medical school to assume the identity of a doctor? Just act like him! You know, poorly.
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drskyskull: *flipping through papers frantically* Oh, crap, what page of the script are we on?
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tragedyman: @drskyskull There's a script to this? Really?
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DrRubidium: ...and here is where the movie takes a real turn. For the even worse
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drskyskull: "He's having horrible hallucinations? What a coincidence - so am I!"
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tragedyman: 19:20 - Name-dropping Poe? Isn't that a bit too high-brow for this film?
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drskyskull: I hope they paid Maxwell extra salary, considering he has to play his own Greek chorus.
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DrRubidium: ...and there is the tenuous Edgar Allan Poe connection
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szvan: Um, dude, I'm pretty sure the doc had wilder hair than you did. Cutting it ain't gonna help.
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lousycanuck: A toolchest! Just what I need to complete my transformation! Let's see... a little trim here... a little montage there... PERFECT!
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drskyskull: His disguise is vaguely reminiscent of the horrible cross-breeding of Paul Bunyan and CarrotTop.
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szvan: "I will be a great man! Just after I put on this thing that looks like a straightjacket!"
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DrRubidium: that is the worse make-over I've ever seen
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BenZvan: I can't figure out how to move the plot forward so I'll speak directly to the camera, then make the audience read.
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lousycanuck: "There is marked failure of memory, poor retention, marked failure of memory, and poor retention."
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tragedyman: 22:20 - Modern analysis techniques.
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drskyskull: "Let's see here... well, that arm will have to come off."
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szvan: Strangely, he looked more like the doc before the fake mustache.
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drskyskull: Did he say "No, not that" or "No, fuck that"?
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lousycanuck: "Super adrenaline. No, not that. How about ULTRA-adrenaline?"
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BenZvan: Super Adrenaline....no...I'll use water...
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tragedyman: 24:00 - It never occurred to our hero that he grabbed the WRONG SIZE SYRINGE?
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drskyskull: @tragedyman I assume you're using the term "hero" in the loosest possible sense?
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tragedyman: @drskyskull Well, yes.
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tragedyman: 25:00 - Once a ham, always a ham.
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BenZvan: "fire in my brain...with the brain...and the fire....and the brain..."
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szvan: "The fire! It stabs me!" Um....
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drskyskull: "I can't stand this torture!" He suddenly became acutely aware of the film he is in!
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lousycanuck: He's awfully lucid for someone being tortured by mainlining super-adrenaline.
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lousycanuck: "Nonono, down Dino, down boy, DOWN!"
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szvan: "What was in that syringe? It turned him into Jimmy Fallon!"
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tragedyman: 26:00 - Bad Tasmanian Devil impression.
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tragedyman: 26:45 - Who are you going to believe: me, or your crazy eyes?
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drskyskull: That has to be the best excuse for not calling the police I've ever heard! "I wanted to experiment on him!"
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BenZvan: The fire in my brain...and the fire...and my brain...and the fire...
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tragedyman: 27:30 - Female nipples. Because this movie was boring up until now.
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lousycanuck: "I think we speak the same language, am I right?" "Que?"
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DrRubidium: this is the worst acting I've seen since Showgirls
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drskyskull: Shouldn't this film be called, "Maniac(s)"?
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lousycanuck: "You see my cats there, eh, Ralphie-boy?"
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szvan: Human-heart cat toy. Wheee!
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lousycanuck: "I'll burn the body! No, I can't do that. The foyer! I mean basement."
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DrRubidium: nobody's noticed the doc's a fake? REALLY?!
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drskyskull: *Removing bricks* "Oh, there's that Cask of Amontillado I lost all those years ago!"
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DrRubidium: Is it just me, or is Maxwell's accent oscillating between Swedish, Czechoslovakian and German?
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BenZvan: 'My cat was severely annoyed in the watching of this movie.'
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tragedyman: 32:00 - Random Act Of Violence Against A Cat!
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DrRubidium: He killed the cat?! That damn cat was the only living creature in this movie I liked!
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lousycanuck: Om nom cat eye. Because, you know, why not? Biomass is biomass.
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DrRubidium: ahhh...the ol' body in the wall trick. That always works
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lousycanuck: "Oh dammit, these brick walls never go back together the same way twice."
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drskyskull: "Paranoiac" Oh, shit - are they talking about me?
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tragedyman: 33:20 - I wonder what silent film the Hell footage came from?
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szvan: Luckily, no one ever really looks at mortar anyway.
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BenZvan: I'm against gay marriage because those queers brought a dead dog back to life up there once
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tragedyman: 34:20 - That must be the oddest random conversation ever.
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tragedyman: 36:00 - Nobody's called Animal Care & Control on this guy yet?
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drskyskull: "Cats eat rats." What he learned before dropping out of grade school biology.
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DrRubidium: rats, cats, cats, rats... creepy Dr. Seuss
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szvan: Someone needs to tell the scriptwriters the difference between characters and *characters*.
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tragedyman: 36:20 - Wait - Maxwell was married?!?
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BenZvan: I may not be decent but I'm sure going to be clean. *darn!*
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tragedyman: 37:10 - Did that actress have an unfortunate accident in a helium factory before her Hollywood career?
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drskyskull: I think their bedroom has unknowingly been filled with helium.
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BenZvan: Ha ha ha ha ha...she's pressing her underpants...ha ha ha...pressing business...get it? huh? huh? I kill me.
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lousycanuck: La Conkaroacha?
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szvan: I'd complain about this movie's view of women, but given what I've got to compare it to....
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BenZvan: @szvan at least the women in this movie can almost act.
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DrRubidium: what is the point of this entire scene involving the showgirls? Are they going to die horribly soon?
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lousycanuck: Thankfully this is in public domain, or Disney would be going after the Minnie Mouse ripoff.
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drskyskull: @lousycanuck See, I thought this had evolved into "Betty Boop versus the Maniac"
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BenZvan: Hey...I wonder if he's still 'with' that goofy professor...
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tragedyman: 39:45 - Some wife. She can't even recognize her own husband standing in front of her?
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drskyskull: Wasn't there an insane, murderous rapist on the loose a while ago? Did he fall down a well?
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BenZvan: @drskyskull Nobody really worries about insane, murderous rapists these days.
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lousycanuck: During the "mixed phase", you prefer mixed drinks.
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szvan: Oh! Here's our problem. This isn't a feature film. It's a DSM training film! Of course, it's still awful.
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BenZvan: @DrRubidium Just making the connection to Showgirls. It's future allusion.
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BenZvan: Since when does jabbing someone in the eye quiet them?!!!
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BenZvan: you wanna buy a crazy woman? I've got one in the other room I've been tweeting...I mean treating...
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lousycanuck: Oh boy, setting up for the famous Syringe Duel scene. Throwing syringes at one another from ten paces.
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lousycanuck: And after having dropped their syringes, the women start channeling the cats from earlier. They WERE the best actors after all.
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szvan: You see, women don't really know how to fight, just how to tear each other's clothes off.
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tragedyman: 46:30 - Now that they've ripped each other's clothes off, shouldn't they have started kissing?
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drskyskull: We interrupt this life-or-death struggle to show you this image of a bird.
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DrRubidium: this movie just took on a Dali-esque level of abstract weirdness usually only seen in underground Romanian alt-films :-0
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tragedyman: 47:40 - "You're crazy! What kind of a place is this?" We should have asked that at the beginning of this film.
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BenZvan: These bricks sound like cats! That's suspicious! Get him!
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szvan: Oh, so *now* you figure out he's crazy.
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drskyskull: "Insanity is our defense against a world..." Speak for yourself, narrator!!!
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tragedyman: 49:00 - This is what makes the film informational, and excuses the nudity, cat fighting & bad acting.
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szvan: "Maniac" brought to you by the team that created "Eugenics."
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BenZvan: There are many people of unsound mind who find one particular thing unbearable...like this movie for example.
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lousycanuck: Why must they end the music so abruptly on those psych flash cards?
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lousycanuck: The lesson: being a Vaudevillian actor makes you go crazy crazy.
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drskyskull: "I thought the movie was over... how long do I have to keep holding up my arms?"
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lousycanuck: I can't help but feel spoiled by having seen Rocketship X-M before this.
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drskyskull: "Maniac" is like "Silence of the Lambs", if Hannibal Lector were played by Jim Carrey.
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lousycanuck: To clarify, I don't mean Rocketship X-M is a direct sequel of Maniac. But if it was, there'd be a movie in between, I think.
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szvan: And now for video games, because the story line is infinitely better.
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drskyskull: Now that I'm totally desensitized to absurdity, time to catch the end of "RoadHouse" on AMC.