1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,000
lousycanuck: Okay, and start!!

2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,000
blakestacey: Look, it's the SS Doom, sailing into port!

3
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:34,000
blakestacey: Ah, spark smugglers!

4
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:49,000
brx0: This seems to be a poorly lit dampness factory, with random sparks.

5
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:56,000
brx0: Oh, I mean a dampness freighter.  My bad.

6
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:04,000
blakestacey: "Oh, man, that's the last time I try the Monopoly pub crawl."

7
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:17,000
szvan: So far it's all about the atmosphere...cause it ain't about the acting.

8
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:30,000
lousycanuck: Oh man. My copy has Dutch subtitles.

9
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:33,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck that should make it more awesome

10
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:39,000
drskyskull: Is this a movie about Frankenstein or about Apple iPad factories?

11
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:45,000
blakestacey: Anger management FAIL!

12
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:19,000
brx0: Does look like they're going for an artsy look here.  Starting to worry this is too good for MockTM.  Or at least the credits are.

13
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:23,000
blakestacey: "Full... metal... jacket..."

14
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:26,000
szvan: Oh, I'm such a monster. I have a wee scar. And no makeup budget.

15
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:31,000
lousycanuck: My, what a pretty face you have. I think I'll take it.

16
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:40,000
blakestacey: Huh, I didn't realize the city in DARK CITY had a waterfront.

17
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:46,000
RezHowski: I started.. credits rolling now

18
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:46,000
drskyskull: Okay, I'm officially at the credits!

19
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,000
blakestacey: These credits are what would happen if the credits from SE7EN went to med school.

20
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:55,000
brx0: Also, the pre-credits bit establishes that the guy in the cloak is one mysterious bad dude.

21
00:02:55,000 --> 00:03:01,000
blakestacey: Parker Posey? But I...just rang around the rosey?

22
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:11,000
szvan: Were the breast implants off the shelf or stolen from a corpse?

23
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:37,000
blakestacey: Hey, it's the eyelash from GATTACA!

24
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:43,000
blakestacey: @lousycanuck My copy has Swedish. The DVD was bit by a m00se.

25
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:08,000
blakestacey: It's the Nightmare University med school!

26
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:30,000
brx0: Um, Parker Posey is a cop, huh? And cops still drive 80s Ford LTDs?  Srsly?

27
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:35,000
lousycanuck: "Hey mistah, want a carwash?"

28
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:40,000
blakestacey: Hey, I think we were just officially told that she's not a jerk!

29
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:24,000
blakestacey: "So I'm a walking cliche." Ooh movie, you so meta.

30
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:28,000
lousycanuck: "Is that what I think it is?" "A donut? Nope."

31
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:53,000
blakestacey: "This time it was the heart." "Hey, just like Valentine's day all over again!"

32
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:58,000
Ben_TAF: There's another million dollar McDonald's law suit

33
00:05:55,000 --> 00:06:01,000
brx0: Ashley Judd would be playing the cop here, if only this wasn't direct to video...

34
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:06,000
drskyskull: I feel like this movie is about what happened to the "I know what you did last summer" guy after he ran out of people he knew.

35
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:39,000
lousycanuck: Ah, our secret hideout. It's well stocked with science equipment and Victorian trappings. Dr. Frankenstein must patron The Broker.

36
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:45,000
blakestacey: You know what would really liven up this house? Replicant toys, that's what.

37
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:53,000
drskyskull: "Hello?  Is anybody there?"  "Uh... no!"

38
00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:00,000
Ben_TAF: First rule of spooky houses. Never ask if anyone's there

39
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:12,000
brx0: Moody! Atmospheric!

40
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:14,000
blakestacey: "Hmm, this mousetrap is irreducibly complex."

41
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:41,000
Ben_TAF: Shit! He's here for me! And I'm apparently dead a week

42
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:56,000
lousycanuck: "I've had many names. They called me... Mittens..."

43
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:05,000
drskyskull: "They called me... the monster."  "I don't know why, my name is Tim."

44
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:45,000
brx0: And cue the inevitable cop turf wars....

45
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:06,000
drskyskull: "Do not cross homicide scene.  If you do, homicide scene gonna eff you up!"

46
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:12,000
blakestacey: "Well, looks like he's a tad...overdue." #sunglasses

47
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:21,000
RezHowski: Frau ....

48
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:34,000
lousycanuck: "Hey, look, a clue. Someone splattered this book with all sorts of... um... brown paint."

49
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:43,000
drskyskull: "This killer had some skill.  He left this sweater he knitted."

50
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:51,000
szvan: I'm not sure I'm hip enough to watch this movie.

51
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:18,000
Ben_TAF: "You think this was the page he was reading?"

52
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:42,000
brx0: And cue the quirky buddy-cop banter...

53
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:44,000
blakestacey: Hey, Hooked on Phonix wurked fur me!

54
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:46,000
drskyskull: It looks like they decided to make Parker Posey's character "gritty" by literally covering her with grit.

55
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:48,000
Ben_TAF: Hooked on Phonics digs. Way to stay with the times!

56
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:34,000
drskyskull: "Why would someone take his heart?"  Check Dick Cheney's alibi!!!

57
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:41,000
RezHowski: I love this dialogue

58
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Ben_TAF: I am jack's sense of reused set design

59
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:27,000
blakestacey: On a scale from 1 to the room I lived in freshman year, this apartment rates an...ewww.

60
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:33,000
lousycanuck: "Lacks a feminine touch." "HEY! Oh, you mean the decor."

61
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:40,000
brx0: Aww, kittens!!!!

62
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:43,000
RezHowski: Black cat.. Check

63
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:52,000
brx0: They didn't really pull the Sudden Loud Scary Falling Junk thing, did they?  Complete with black cats?  Srsly?

64
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:58,000
blakestacey: "I'm fine!" "Actually, I was kind of hoping you'd get hurt opening a kitchen cupboard. Me and the boys in the office have a pool..."

65
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:19,000
drskyskull: "No... human... would organize shoes like this."

66
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:47,000
blakestacey: So, he's a serial...shaver?

67
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:09,000
brx0: Meanwhile, Mysterious Brooding Man is brooding...

68
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:13,000
Ben_TAF: "I got the Joy Joy Joy, down in my heart! Wait. Nope. That's just a heart. In my hand..."

69
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:29,000
drskyskull: I think Netflix accidentally played an episode of "Hoarders" instead of "Frankenstein".

70
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:37,000
szvan: Because black women with cataracts are inherently scary. Uh, huh.

71
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:11,000
blakestacey: Helios? I thought he was on Mars.

72
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:24,000
Ben_TAF: I see the modern day Frankenstein is still counting on lightening. "Y'know we really should have run 3 phase power here"

73
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:36,000
blakestacey: How did Victor do it? Tuvan throat-singing, that's how!

74
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:41,000
drskyskull: @blakestacey "Ze higher harmonics... zey are ze key to liiiiiiiife!!!"

75
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:46,000
drskyskull: I'm pretty sure that scene of the monster awakening was ripped of from an 80's "Quiet Riot" video.

76
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Ben_TAF: "That was my favorite Ace bandage! Gaaahhhh!!!"

77
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:54,000
brx0: Lightning!  Mysterious lab equipment!  Possibly a @drskyskull project!

78
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:59,000
drskyskull: @brx0 Leave me out of this movie! :P

79
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:49,000
blakestacey: "Do you know why I've come?" "Not to deliver my General Tso's Chicken, that's for sure."

80
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:26,000
brx0: Aaand, time for dinner party prep.  As we all suspected, Dr. Frankenstein, er, Helios, is the 1%.

81
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:37,000
szvan: You can't improve on the perfection of a pitted statue.

82
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:57,000
brx0: Ooh, and Mrs. Helios might be a creature too.

83
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:18,000
RezHowski: Homemade Wife... Check

84
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:22,000
drskyskull: "Oh, Helios... I always feel like you're dissecting me with your eyes!"

85
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:42,000
blakestacey: I'm getting a really strong Mr. Blonde vibe from Officer Sunglasses here.

86
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:57,000
szvan: Is it just me or was the direction to make the dialog as hard to understand as possible?

87
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:03,000
Ben_TAF: "See, this is why I don't like you. Sunglasses in a parking garage at night. Still not cool."

88
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:08,000
lousycanuck: Might have to sit the rest out. Lost my place and my router's apparently too sketchy to stream from my media server tonight. :/

89
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:26,000
BenZvan: I was a goth in high school and I don't remember killing anyone important.

90
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:30,000
brx0: Douchebag rival cop's working on a Cusack + Nolte mashup sort of schtick.

91
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:51,000
RezHowski: what a tool

92
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:53,000
blakestacey: "I'm just trying to cover your ass...if you know what I mean."

93
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:59,000
drskyskull: @blakestacey Next I'm expecting a long monologue from Parker Posey on how she doesn't tip.

94
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:19,000
BenZvan: one man is a tool, the other is...no...that's not right.

95
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:54,000
brx0: Wow, is this what New Orleans dinner parties are usually like?  I'm kind of rooting for the creature now.

96
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:23,000
Ben_TAF: Shocker! The priest is pandering to money? Say it ain't so!

97
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:45,000
blakestacey: "You should get cable. And pay for Hulu Plus."

98
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:34,000
RezHowski: Bring on the guilt trip.. homemade women.. jeez

99
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:49,000
Ben_TAF: Casting requirement: Stare off screen and look pensive. Can you do that? Hired!!!

100
00:22:54,000 --> 00:23:00,000
szvan: World's quickest and least interesting sex scene. And *she* apologizes.

101
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:29,000
blakestacey: "I want to please you more than anything." "Buy me...an XBox."

102
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:44,000
brx0: Also, Dr. Frankenhelios is really bad in bed or something.  And he has a creepy exposed CGI backbone, looks like.

103
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:47,000
szvan: "Perfection" is the spine of a nonhuman creature? No wonder she can't meet Helios's standards.

104
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Ben_TAF: I'm reconsidering my original idea of spamming images of FrankenBerry. I still think it would be more interesting to watch than this

105
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:16,000
drskyskull: "So which isn't important, my job or my brother?"  Don't make me choose!

106
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:29,000
BenZvan: hey! That's a Nokia ringtone!

107
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:48,000
blakestacey: The spilling-the-coffee gag? Officially old.

108
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Ben_TAF: Oho! I see a running theme forming. My prediction: he's going to finally get to finish his drink during the epilogue

109
00:24:54,000 --> 00:25:00,000
drskyskull: @Ben_TAF No doubt it will be the end credits stinger!

110
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:05,000
brx0: Still, this is probably the first MockTM made by someone who went to actual film school, of the non-correspondence course variety.

111
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:12,000
BenZvan: Someone should probably clean the goo off that camera. Cuz ick.

112
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:24,000
drskyskull: "No!!! I said come *to* me!!! *To* me!!!"

113
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:29,000
Ben_TAF: Rubber Ducky, you're the one... to die next!!! Mwahahaha!!!

114
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Ben_TAF: Glad to see they're breaking stereotypes of laboratory scientists

115
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:55,000
brx0: Time to meet the quirky medical examiner with unusual hair.

116
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:06,000
szvan: "Then I started listing off random anatomical terms."

117
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:11,000
BenZvan: the ME appears to live behind the lanes of a bowling alley.

118
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:16,000
drskyskull: @BenZvan Seems about right!

119
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:41,000
drskyskull: So "Hyde" from "That 70s Show" ended up a medical examiner?

120
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:55,000
blakestacey: "An abnormally large...you know."

121
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:02,000
brx0: And the victim has wacky anatomy.  Pretty sure I saw this scene in Men In Black once.

122
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Ben_TAF: See what I did there? I called you drunk!

123
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:13,000
Ben_TAF: Got to throw in those comedic zingers to break up all this tension and suspense

124
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:12,000
drskyskull: "Just because it sounds crazy doesn't mean it's not true."  "Now, to cure my pneumonia with homeopathy!"

125
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:20,000
BenZvan: If I was taking a drink for everything kitsch or cliche I wouldn't be able to type any more.

126
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:27,000
lousycanuck: Okay, so we just saw an autopsy of an X-Man, and a drinking bird? Am I at the right time index?

127
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:32,000
BenZvan: @lousycanuck there are no drinking birds in this film!!!

128
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:37,000
Ben_TAF: @BenZvan @lousycanuck It's alright. I'm drinking enough for the birds. Time to crack open another!

129
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Ben_TAF: @lousycanuck "so many rules, how can i follow them all" 30 secs ago. 30:05

130
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:57,000
lousycanuck: Anthony's Block Camelot is probably the most elaborate set design we've seen yet.

131
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:51,000
szvan: So far, the nanny is giving us the best performance in the movie.

132
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:04,000
brx0: Cue unrequited buddy-cop crush.  Is there a trendy word for "hetero-bromance"?  Or did I just invent one?

133
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:32,000
lousycanuck: In Dutch, "Stick" means "Shoo". Apparently.

134
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:36,000
brx0: Hey, is the real New Orleans this dim and yellow-green and gothic all the time?

135
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:03,000
blakestacey: "All intelligent creatures dream, no one knows why..."

136
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:31,000
szvan: Dear filmmakers: You can make films where I don't know what's going on. Or films where I don't care what's going on. But both?

137
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:42,000
brx0: This priest is seriously ooky.  Even by the usual priest standards.

138
00:32:55,000 --> 00:33:01,000
BenZvan: rich, crazy dude ordering priests to to terrible things to their followers...sounds like the Catholic church to me!

139
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:08,000
lousycanuck: "Maybe they have seen one of their kind behaving oddly. Killing people. Stealing their body parts. Worshipping graven images. Hint."

140
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:16,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck looks like we are close to the same time.. he needs his body!

141
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:43,000
blakestacey: "Dude, I'm digging your chanting Muzak."

142
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:47,000
RezHowski: Religious reference.... check

143
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:06,000
brx0: Solo visit to dead guy's apartment.  Ominous music.  I predict more black cats.  Betcha money.

144
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:12,000
Ben_TAF: @brx0 Wait. Where are the cats? WHO TOOK THE CATS!!!

145
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:33,000
lousycanuck: Ahh, the "put your grubby paws all over stuff" method of evidence collection.

146
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:06,000
blakestacey: Gloves. You're using them wrong.

147
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:22,000
BenZvan: That reminds me...I could use a shave.

148
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:16,000
Ben_TAF: I'm sorry, but the Assassin's Creed isn't translating into a movie the way I thought it would

149
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:42,000
brx0: Ooh, it's Mysterious Brooding Man.  Chatting up our detective & being all broody.

150
00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:02,000
drskyskull: What he's doing there, with the electrical cables?  That'll be me with my physics demos next week.

151
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:07,000
Ben_TAF: "What are you doing?" "Unplugging the TVs, they've been on for, like, forever! Think of the electricity waste!"

152
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:20,000
blakestacey: "My left big toe from an embezzler! OK, that one was a little underwhelming..."

153
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:31,000
RezHowski: Shocking!!!

154
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:33,000
brx0: Now he's stripping and zapping himself with electricity.  Needs to work on his Chippendales act, gotta say.

155
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:38,000
szvan: "Lady! I'm electrocuting myself for you! Least you could do is look!"

156
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:45,000
BenZvan: I wonder how many televisions this guy goes through in a year.

157
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:51,000
lousycanuck: Broody, full of cracks, and draws power from electricity. The Monster is Cole MacGrath.

158
00:37:54,000 --> 00:38:00,000
drskyskull: Love to see *that* police report. "After he admitted to murder, he electrocuted himself... then I lost him."

159
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:41,000
szvan: "That's it?" "Well, when you put it that way, maybe it does sound stupid."

160
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:27,000
brx0: So, why is Mysterious Brooding Man wearing that heavy cloak in New Orleans, anyway?

161
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:47,000
szvan: "So, yeah, I think that guy was fooling me about being electrocuted, but he was totally right about the dead guy."

162
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:45,000
lousycanuck: "He just gets his kicks hanging around dead people?" "Oh, he gets more than kicks."

163
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:52,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck I'm only seconds behind you

164
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:04,000
drskyskull: What's up with makeup in this film?  Even the non-monsters look like they were dragged through the streets a few blocks.

165
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:12,000
brx0: Amusing sidekick cop Sloan's rocking the Starsky & Hutch hair.  Ok, Starsky & Hutch remake hair.

166
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:40,000
Ben_TAF: Haha. ZING! "Sharp eye for detail." Oh, I'm in stitches!

167
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:27,000
lousycanuck: "If you don't tell me what's going on inside of your head, how can I cover your backside? I mean back. I mean boobs."

168
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:33,000
BenZvan: if you don't tell me what's covering your back, how can I get inside your head?

169
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:18,000
drskyskull: Anthony's either going to grow up to be an architect, or "Rain Man".

170
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:30,000
lousycanuck: "Keep your hands where I can see them." "Sure. Hang on. They're still detachable. Here, catch."

171
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:55,000
BenZvan: Worst. Shooting. Posture. Ever.

172
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:59,000
szvan: You know, her mental instability would be much more compelling if we'd seen, oh, anything else at the beginning of the movie.

173
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:25,000
lousycanuck: "You mean he's some kind of Frankenstein?" "Frahnkenschteen!"

174
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:31,000
RezHowski: fiction based on fact based on fiction....

175
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:59,000
BenZvan: this dialogue reminds me of the conversations in Mass Effect. "earlier, you mentioned..."

176
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:16,000
drskyskull: I think this film would be much more intriguing if the monster wore a snazzy bowtie instead of a hood.

177
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:39,000
Ben_TAF: Guaranteed next line from her: "I'm sorry" 10 bucks on it

178
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:18,000
blakestacey: "You had such high hopes for me...but I could only get a 1300 on the SAT."

179
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:27,000
RezHowski: I wonder what grave he dug the earrings up from

180
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Ben_TAF: Oh snap! He's got another cup!

181
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:48,000
lousycanuck: So the Doc built a second monster as a woman? Did he... use one of the first monster's ribs? Coz that would be dumb.

182
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:03,000
Ben_TAF: "Hey me! You were wrong, pay up!" "Fine"...

183
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:11,000
brx0: Ok, I'm back.  Had to crack open the Cook's Extra Dry, y'know.

184
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Ben_TAF: She's melting!

185
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:05,000
BenZvan: you'd think that after 200 years, he'd have painted his lab.

186
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:09,000
brx0: How does New Orleans manage with so few light bulbs, anyway?

187
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:13,000
szvan: Just copping one last feel.

188
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:29,000
blakestacey: Oh, *now* he's passionate...

189
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:33,000
RezHowski: Time for a bath.. oh and a kiss

190
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:54,000
RezHowski: Bath is more important for a new humanity

191
00:50:54,000 --> 00:51:00,000
brx0: Come to think of it, it's sort of Frankenstein meets Blade Runner meets Anne Rice meets Hill Street Blues.

192
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:18,000
szvan: She has no muscles, doc. What kind of wimp are you?

193
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:40,000
BenZvan: Oh, I see what you did with the eyelashes there...was this a Master's project?

194
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:46,000
brx0: Pretty sure those false eyelashes are a Metaphor.  Film school, dontcha know.

195
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:30,000
drskyskull: Hey guys, I'm back - did I miss anything?  HA HA HA!

196
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:35,000
Ben_TAF: @drskyskull And a fez. And they traveled through time in a... wait...

197
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:52,000
brx0: Hey, a hipster with a bike that we haven't met until now.  Next victim, probably.

198
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:03,000
brx0: Imagine the script meetings for this thing.  Do we go for elliptical, or portentious?

199
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:21,000
drskyskull: "I liked your singing.  Can I dismember you?  Damn damn damn too forward, again!"

200
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:29,000
lousycanuck: "Oh, if only I could be as happy as you. Which is actually pretty grumpy."

201
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:34,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck Grumpy is the new goth happy

202
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:41,000
brx0: Oh hey, could be douchebag rival cop is the eeeevil bad guy.

203
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:09,000
BenZvan: Just because you keep saying "this makes sense" doesn't mean it makes sense.

204
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:26,000
RezHowski: Emo's have nothing on this chick

205
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:34,000
brx0: Yeah, douchebag rival cop just knocked over a bicycle.  Definitely the bad guy.

206
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:11,000
szvan: "Oh, it hurts so badly when my shirt rips!"

207
00:55:55,000 --> 00:56:01,000
blakestacey: "Stop wiggling, dammit, you're ruining my penmanship!"

208
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:05,000
Ben_TAF: Sorry Carson. Could you enunciate a little more for me? Having a hard time following you

209
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:09,000
lousycanuck: What's the over/under on those guns actually getting fired? Because so far, no gunshots yet.

210
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:14,000
drskyskull: @lousycanuck They're going to *throw* the shotgun at the monster!

211
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:19,000
BenZvan: somebody should consider training the police force to use guns.  Just a thought.

212
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:24,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck It is low budget.. but there you go!

213
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:29,000
szvan: Well, it's nice to know they pay their cops a living wage.

214
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:38,000
drskyskull: ... and Michael Madsen *trots* away from the police.

215
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:57,000
lousycanuck: Spoke too soon. One very lame gunshot effect so far.

216
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:03,000
RezHowski: at least the guns have a sound effect artist

217
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:12,000
blakestacey: Hey, is "Harker" meant to be an allusion? 'cause I think they looked in the wrong Cliffs Note...

218
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:50,000
szvan: I think those trash cans were placed by the same set dresser responsible for the cat.

219
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:55,000
brx0: So do they ever untie the hipster at some point here?

220
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:08,000
Ben_TAF: Is that Buster in the tub?

221
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:30,000
RezHowski: Behold the Bride of Powder! Mwaaaa haaa haaa

222
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:35,000
drskyskull: Victor Helios puts the "pig" in Pygmalion!

223
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:41,000
blakestacey: "Do I come off as creepy? Sometimes I worry that I come off as a little, you know, abnormal."

224
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:53,000
blakestacey: Maybe they should just try some mildew spray on those tiles.

225
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:59,000
lousycanuck: "Nora! I will save you Nora!" Wait, they said "Helios", not "Frieze".

226
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:06,000
szvan: I always use a 60-watt bulb to test my circuit meant to create life.

227
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:13,000
drskyskull: Since I've seen X-Men 2, I can only assume Victor is giving her adamantium bones.

228
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:21,000
brx0: Finally a bit of reanimating.  This Frankenstein movie's really been skimping on the reanimating.

229
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:35,000
drskyskull: Okay, with the headphones and the pale skin, I swear I'm watching an old iPod commercial.

230
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:55,000
blakestacey: "Rah, rah, rah-rah-rah. I want your monster, I want your desire..."

231
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:06,000
brx0: Aaand she looks the same as before.  What was that all about?

232
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:29,000
szvan: Also, said set dresser has a brother-in-law in foley.

233
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:42,000
blakestacey: Best subtitle ever: "Bra beslut."

234
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:49,000
szvan: Damn. She so white.

235
01:00:54,000 --> 01:01:00,000
drskyskull: "I knew he was trouble, especially when he scratched his nose with a hand he had in his pocket."

236
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:36,000
szvan: "I moved in 11 months ago." "And how many women did you see him dismember before you?"

237
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:50,000
RezHowski: Mmmmm "a mean Lasagna" always worth the risk of being chopped to pieces

238
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:27,000
blakestacey: To the actress' credit, there's no way to deliver lines like these. ::sigh:

239
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:32,000
brx0: "I never thought his bliss would be chopping people to pieces."  Gold.  Pure dialogue gold.

240
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:38,000
lousycanuck: "Look, if you're going to rip me a new one, don't bother. I have five new ones. Toilet habits are just weird now."

241
01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:01,000
szvan: Wait. The two hipster cops aren't popular with their peers? No!

242
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:23,000
Ben_TAF: Um. Didn't they just say "crawlspace"?

243
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:28,000
blakestacey: "That's his go-nuts room." "His doughnuts room? Awesome!"

244
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:41,000
BenZvan: which one of those fridges has the beer?

245
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:30,000
lousycanuck: So the first girl monster was killed in order to create the perfect ballerina.

246
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:36,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck we all have our, um.. priorities

247
01:04:54,000 --> 01:05:00,000
BenZvan: @brx0 bride of Frankenstein++

248
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:19,000
blakestacey: OH JUST BONE ALREADY.

249
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:29,000
brx0: Ok, so the revamped Mrs. Helios is the same but does ballet now.

250
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:35,000
RezHowski: I get it now.. she's more "bendy"

251
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:10,000
lousycanuck: "'Like Cher?' What was I thinking? What a horrible one-liner. Stupid. So stupid!"

252
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:14,000
drskyskull: @lousycanuck AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

253
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:38,000
brx0: Ok, it's Ooky Priest.  Wasn't really missing him, gotta say.

254
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:51,000
RezHowski: A Monster and a Priest walk into a Church....

255
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:12,000
blakestacey: "There's a chance we might level up to spirit level 12."

256
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:50,000
szvan: "See how defiant I am! I can mess up your paperwork!"

257
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:56,000
lousycanuck: "Oh, I just sorted those papers! Why do you have to be so hurtful?"

258
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:19,000
brx0: Ooh heyyy, looks like the bad guy's got an alien chest burster on the way.

259
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:26,000
lousycanuck: That thing in his gut had better pop out and say "QUAID" by the end of the movie.

260
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:30,000
blakestacey: @lousycanuck You beat me to it. :-)

261
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:33,000
BenZvan: @lousycanuck I don't get it.

262
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:36,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck LOL

263
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:53,000
RezHowski: I bet this priest is now REALLY pro abortion

264
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:46,000
RezHowski: Now THAT's a God complex

265
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:14,000
Ben_TAF: By my count, that's the 3rd breakable cup stepped on, plus 2 knocked over, 1 twice. WHAT'S IT ALL MEAN??

266
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:35,000
lousycanuck: Well then, the well-coiffed bad monster is evidently an atheist.

267
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:41,000
drskyskull: "*That's* for that fucking 3 hour Easter sermon!!!"

268
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:46,000
brx0: So much for Ooky Priest, then.

269
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:58,000
szvan: Oh, damn. Now the paperwork's gonna get all bloody.

270
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:18,000
drskyskull: Is this movie part 1 of 2 or something?  We've got 10 minutes left and I swear that nothing has happened.

271
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:45,000
Ben_TAF: Whoa! The monster just did one hell of a David Carradine Kung Fu move to that wall.

272
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:49,000
blakestacey: "Mmm, cheese dip!"

273
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:09,000
drskyskull: This movie was filmed in fabulous GRIT-O-VISION!

274
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:16,000
RezHowski: I "Heart" You Monster

275
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:21,000
lousycanuck: Oh, that's just what this movie needs, more heavy-handed Jesus allegory.

276
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:38,000
brx0: Mysterious Brooding Guy, still becloaked, finds the secret urn with a heart inside.  The symbolism's kinda losing me here.

277
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:15,000
szvan: "I know who the next victim is. Let's not call and send someone ahead."

278
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:44,000
brx0: Ah, 2004, when you could render someone incommunicado by busting up their land line...

279
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:20,000
RezHowski: A drunk injured Monster, this does not bode well

280
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:29,000
drskyskull: I'm watching Michael Madsen act, and I swear I can see him thinking, "I wonder what I'll eat for dinner after filming ends?"

281
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:46,000
szvan: Oh, right. Sending a squad ahead would mean paying more actors.

282
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:57,000
Ben_TAF: Get over here and give me a hug! RAWR!

283
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:06,000
RezHowski: I thought Harker was in Dracula.. Hmmmm

284
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:12,000
drskyskull: @RezHowski I've been working under the assumption that his name is actually "Horker".  (Maybe he spits a lot.)

285
01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:30,000
brx0: That's a menacing-looking melon baller there...

286
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:35,000
Ben_TAF: Oh shit! Scariest kitchen tool ever! A... wait.. a melon baller? yeah, I guess that's all we have left in the budget

287
01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:58,000
blakestacey: Uh-oh. Looks like Kuato lives!

288
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:59,000
BenZvan: We've spotted him! Let's stop here and mention that.

289
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:05,000
lousycanuck: "He's there. At that factory. Let's not stop and call for backup before chasing him down."

290
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:59,000
szvan: I knew hipster cops had pissed off the other detectives, but will no one come back them up?!?

291
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:11,000
lousycanuck: Could someone turn off that drippy tap? That's going to drive me batty during the climactic battle.

292
01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:16,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck And now I have to pee

293
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:22,000
brx0: Gotta say this over-the-top gothic New Orleans urban decay look kinda creeps me out, knowing it was filmed just before Katrina.

294
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:30,000
blakestacey: "Clones to the left of me, creatures to the right... stitch in the middle with you..."

295
01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:40,000
blakestacey: Here's hoping for a railing kill.

296
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:44,000
drskyskull: @blakestacey Maybe they could have a car chase in some mini golf cart-like vehicles, too?

297
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:06,000
brx0: And looks like we're wrapping things up in another abandoned dampness factory.  Surprising how many of those there are.

298
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:13,000
lousycanuck: @brx0 Dampness is a growth industry.

299
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:26,000
Ben_TAF: Too bad shot guns are such precision weapons that aren't effective at close range without a lot of skill

300
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:41,000
RezHowski: He'll never see us coming with these flashlights

301
01:19:57,000 --> 01:20:03,000
BenZvan: okay Parker, this is a shotgun. It's pretty much point and shoot. POINT and shoot.

302
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:28,000
brx0: Suddenly, it's Mysterious Brooding Guy to the rescue.  Getting kinda like Highlander now.

303
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:59,000
drskyskull: "I know what you did last summer... er... I mean, I've come to stop your killing, brother!"

304
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:11,000
lousycanuck: Monster versus monster in a steel cage!

305
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:22,000
Ben_TAF: If it weren't for trying to keep up, I'd rewatch that last bit. I swear at about 1:21:20 I saw a cable...

306
01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:04,000
lousycanuck: Look, I know he's impaled on all that rebar and all, but you haven't gotten a decent shot at him all movie. SHOOT HIM AGAIN.

307
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:07,000
RezHowski: @lousycanuck NOW!

308
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:27,000
RezHowski: How can they see now?.. they lost their flashlights

309
01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:39,000
brx0: Mysterious Brooding Guy vanishes.  But what of the alien chest burster?  Or Dr. Helios?  I smell a sequel!

310
01:22:56,000 --> 01:23:02,000
Ben_TAF: Egg in bourbon. #BreakfastOfChampions

311
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:22,000
brx0: Ah, Mrs. Helios 2.0 has different hair now.  Mysterious!

312
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:50,000
drskyskull: Helios' first monster has an annoying tendency to spout Deepak Chopra-esque inanities.

313
01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:36,000
lousycanuck: In two hundred years, The First Monster hasn't been able to lose the Christopher Lambert accent.

314
01:25:35,000 --> 01:25:41,000
Ben_TAF: @lousycanuck "I've learned many things in 200 years. Uh, except for how to blend in with society at large. Yeah. Still a weakness."

315
01:25:47,000 --> 01:25:53,000
brx0: Ok, now we get a big exposition thing in the last 5 minutes.  Sequel?  Or moody USA Network pilot that went nowhere...?

316
01:25:56,000 --> 01:26:02,000
szvan: So, Original Monster has been using the cop all movie. Why ask for her help now?

317
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:12,000
blakestacey: "I make my own luck."

318
01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:18,000
blakestacey: Wait, that's it?

319
01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:22,000
BenZvan: Wait...what? Was this almost written before the writers strike?

320
01:26:24,000 --> 01:26:30,000
szvan: I don't know why, in movies without plots, I'm surprised that I don't get endings.

321
01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:48,000
blakestacey: Second Assistant "B" Camera...now there's a title to boost your self-esteem.

322
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:53,000
lousycanuck: @blakestacey Hello, welcome to B movies.

323
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:06,000
RezHowski: I need to watch it again with Director Commentary :)

324
01:27:06,000 --> 01:27:12,000
drskyskull: @lousycanuck @RezHowski I'm guessing that "director commentary" is an extended apology.

325
01:27:12,000 --> 01:27:18,000
Ben_TAF: @drskyskull @lousycanuck @RezHowski Haha! Just a loop of Mrs Helios Mark I: "I'm sorry. I know I disappoint you."