1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,000 ####### 2 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,000 drskyskull: ... and... go! 3 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,000 pzmyers: I'm going, I'm going. 4 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:23,000 lousycanuck: "Previously, on House of Fears..." 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:29,000 CyberLizard: Worst. Sex. Scene. Ever. 6 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:51,000 CA7746: Dendrophobia. Today on This Old -Haunted- House. 7 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:13,000 pzmyers: This movie is about plywood or something? 8 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:22,000 CyberLizard: I didn't know Justin Bateman did music! 9 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:28,000 lousycanuck: Music by some guy applying a drill repeatedly to a piano. 10 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:34,000 drskyskull: Wood grain is SCARY! 11 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:41,000 pzmyers: I'm already dreading the big splinter scene. 12 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:03,000 lousycanuck: Today on How It's Made. Lumber! 13 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:25,000 lousycanuck: "Uh, I don't see Al Capone's treasure in here, Geraldo..." 14 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:35,000 drskyskull: "Do you see anything?" said Canarvon. "Yes... crappy things." 15 00:02:54,000 --> 00:03:00,000 drskyskull: I'm watching this movie on a 2.5'' tall screen on my laptop. I think I've got a better experience than the rest of you. 16 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:08,000 pzmyers: I'm watching it on a big screen TV. Yes, you do. 17 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:46,000 ImprobableJoe: Did I miss it? 18 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:50,000 lousycanuck: Are they seriously desaturating and sepia-toning everything to make this Deepest Africa? 19 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:58,000 pzmyers: Who spilled the chocolate syrup? 20 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:03,000 pzmyers: Wait...Africa. Do they bleed chocolate, too? 21 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:22,000 lousycanuck: That is one angry looking fertility statue. 22 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:31,000 drskyskull: So... is this movie just a scarier version of the Brady Bunch Hawaii episode? 23 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:43,000 drskyskull: Aren't movies supposed to introduce us to the characters before killing them? #protip 24 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:48,000 pzmyers: THose were black characters. You don't need to know them before you kill them. 25 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:53,000 lousycanuck: @pzmyers @drskyskull Remember, horror tropes are in full effect in this one. 26 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:07,000 lousycanuck: "Handle with care" is just suggestion. Just chuck it in the back of the truck like whatever. 27 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:43,000 lousycanuck: "My insurance doesn't cover hormones. We have a no-natural-disasters clause." 28 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:50,000 Rowsdower30: SNAUSAGES! 29 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:07,000 pzmyers: Who's there? THE DOG, stupid. 30 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:15,000 drskyskull: "Filmed on location... wherever we could." 31 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:40,000 Rowsdower30: it's Paris Hilton's body double! 32 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:49,000 CyberLizard: Bitch alert! 33 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:53,000 CyberLizard: Bitch stereotype alert, I mean 34 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:58,000 pzmyers: Brunette is snide. She's gonna die for that. 35 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:26,000 drskyskull: "My insurance doesn't cover hormones." Now it does... thanks to... OBAMACARE!!! 36 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:31,000 Rowsdower30: "my insurance doesn't cover whores- I mean hormones" 37 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:57,000 CyberLizard: Call ME when this movie is over 38 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:02,000 ImprobableJoe: But I did save 15% on my insurance by switching 39 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:09,000 drskyskull: These girls do have it rough... I'm pretty sure they got their dad directly from the 70s. 40 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:36,000 Rowsdower30: His Farrah Fawcett hair is MINE 41 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:42,000 lousycanuck: That's some happening music they've got going there. It's like Mambo Number Five mashed up with some random dance crap. 42 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:49,000 pzmyers: Oh, man, brunette is so gonna die. 43 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:10,000 drskyskull: Are we going to have to listen to 1.5 hours of high school girls and jock guys? HOLY SHIT, THIS *IS* A HORROR MOVIE. 44 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:24,000 lousycanuck: Barely-of-age girl in slow motion slow pan up -- she's dead. 45 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:30,000 pzmyers: these girls are all underage. I feel dirty watching them gyrate. 46 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:35,000 ImprobableJoe: Was that a 13 year old dancing? Creepy 47 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:37,000 Rowsdower30: WOULD YOU PEOPLE HURRY UP AND DIE 48 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:51,000 pzmyers: The blonde girl is not drinking, not acting slutty, and is abused by her sister. She's going to live, isn;t she? 49 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:57,000 ImprobableJoe: Hush @pzmyers she's going to live because she's not drinking AND she has a boy's name 50 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:24,000 drskyskull: "Hey -- Sam! Wanna come die horribly with us? You're gonna have a good time, I promise." 51 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:46,000 lousycanuck: @drskyskull This movie is about your worst fears coming to life, see. High school is pretty much exactly that for me too. 52 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:42,000 Rowsdower30: "It took me so long to get that down" - that's what she said 53 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:52,000 drskyskull: Was I that annoying and personality-devoid at that age? I want to build a time machine and go punch myself, just in case. 54 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:11,000 ImprobableJoe: They forgot the 10th fear: being stuck in a crappy movie... forever! 55 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:19,000 lousycanuck: "I have keys. And also this door isn't latched anyway since I just bumped it and it swung half a foot." 56 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:56,000 lousycanuck: Entitled douchebag in the peace shirt dies first. 57 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:23,000 Rowsdower30: that Keep Out sign must've paid a pretty penny to get so much screen time 58 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:44,000 CyberLizard: "There's a lot of expensive stuff in here. Don't touch anything." That's what she said 59 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:11,000 ImprobableJoe: Peace shirt guy has a job? I thought "hipster douche" was full-time? 60 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:25,000 lousycanuck: Whoa sweet! They have a Van de Graff generator, AND a Tardis!! 61 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:32,000 pzmyers: What is the market for a fancy elaborate haunted house in a fixed location, anyway? 62 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:39,000 drskyskull: "Don't touch it -- TABOO!" #BradyBunchHawaii 63 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:51,000 drskyskull: So they left the party with the dancing & booze to go to an abandoned warehouse? They need to die, just for the principle of it. 64 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:23,000 pzmyers: "Let's go scare some girls." IT'S THE INTERNET! I get enough of this every day. 65 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:29,000 drskyskull: "Let's scare some girls." "Okay -- I'll tell her about our likelihood of getting into college!" 66 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:35,000 lousycanuck: Okay, Token Black Guy, would you stop manhandling the evil idol please? 67 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:42,000 drskyskull: "What's your big fear?" "Getting a hairstyle that would be popular after 1978." 68 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:58,000 lousycanuck: Dude, she's wearing all sorts of makeup. So are you. 69 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:03,000 pzmyers: The makeup fear? I suspect evil clown foreshadowing. 70 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:35,000 lousycanuck: AAAAH IT'S A JACK IN THE BOX 71 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:46,000 CA7746: Aaah! Books! 72 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:05,000 pzmyers: Please kill hipster douche soon. Please. 73 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:11,000 CyberLizard: I get the feeling that hipster douche and Sam will be the final survivors. 74 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:22,000 lousycanuck: Oh hell on wheels, it's Vigo the Carpathian! 75 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:49,000 lousycanuck: "Leave him, he's a hermaphrodite!" And you... you can definitely die first, asshole. 76 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:43,000 Rowsdower30: thank Hades she won't be chawing that damn gum anymore 77 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:54,000 lousycanuck: Ohhh, don't touch the sides! *bzz* Butterfingers!! It's Horror Operation! 78 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:06,000 pzmyers: that was a fear? I hope the next 8 are a little more entertaining. 79 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:13,000 Rowsdower30: There's numbers involved- please let someone's head end up in a box... 80 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:29,000 drskyskull: Next 3 fears: getting Slushied in the cafeteria, not making the cheerleading squad, and totally being grounded on prom. 81 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:35,000 Rowsdower30: This is a HORROR movie.... right? 82 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:15,000 lousycanuck: Oh don't even try to make us like the characters, just get with the murdering. 83 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:45,000 lousycanuck: Broseph? This guy cannot die soon enough. 84 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:50,000 CyberLizard: @lousycanuck That's it. You have to change your twitter handle to @broseph 85 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:34,000 drskyskull: "This is a house of lame." Yes. Yes, it is. 86 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:41,000 pzmyers: Flashlight. Next, he's going to hold it under his chin and scare EVERYONE. Yay! 87 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:38,000 lousycanuck: "Are you my mummy-- OH MY NARDS" 88 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:52,000 pzmyers: He seems relatively unperturbed after getting kicked in the nads. 89 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:24,000 Rowsdower30: If someone doesn't die soon, I'm invoking the Lemon Law 90 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:55,000 drskyskull: If I wanted to have a night of boring high school experiences, movie, I would reminisce over my yearbook! 91 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:12,000 lousycanuck: Kinda defeating the fear of the dark with that Mag-Lite there, "broseph." 92 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:24,000 pzmyers: I'd like to see something scarier than a jack-in-the-box. 93 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:30,000 drskyskull: OMG A ROLLING EMPTY PAINT CAN #WorstFearNumberFour 94 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:37,000 pzmyers: We're a half hour in. Nothing has happened yet. 95 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:53,000 Rowsdower30: This is about as scary as Cloud Atlas 96 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:56,000 CA7746: Neat binding on that book. 97 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:42,000 lousycanuck: Oh good, Broseph is the weakest link. Murdered by a mannequin. 98 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:06,000 drskyskull: "Well, that shouldn't happen." "Well, it did." That's what he and she said! 99 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:34,000 pzmyers: @LousyCanuck scores with an accurate prediction of the first fatality. I'm gonna guess...black guy is next. 100 00:34:55,000 --> 00:35:01,000 drskyskull: Killed by a mannequin? Is this movie a prequel to the modern Doctor Who series? 101 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:43,000 pzmyers: If it's not a joke, and he's really dead, then she won't be pissed. 102 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:58,000 lousycanuck: "Look, I know you just got your arm half hacked off, but I gots blue balls here." 103 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:12,000 Rowsdower30: he ate too many Starburst 104 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:32,000 drskyskull: "Hey, everybody -- what's the number for 911?" 105 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:43,000 pzmyers: Modern horror movies are required to have a scene when the cell phones are shown not to work. Here it is. 106 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:13,000 drskyskull: "Try rubbing it against your chest and then put it down your pants." 107 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:53,000 lousycanuck: "No, there is no other way!" "There's always another way! Start by digging straight up or straight down!" "No you fool!!!" 108 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:34,000 lousycanuck: "Hey where's Candice?" "We have to go back for her!" "But there's someone back there!" "Yeah, no shit! CANDICE!" 109 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:17,000 drskyskull: "House of Fears"? More like "House of Minor Annoyances"! AmIright, folks? Eh? Eh? 110 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:24,000 lousycanuck: Oh that's right, fall for the same mummy trap twice lady. Natural selection. 111 00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:03,000 pzmyers: at the rate that sand is flowing, she ought to be OK for the rest of the movie. 112 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:48,000 lousycanuck: "Indy!" "Short Round!!" 113 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:49,000 Rowsdower30: ROUSs!! 114 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:59,000 pzmyers: They just wanna give her a hug. 115 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:04,000 CyberLizard: I once spent a summer working as a hand grabbing people from the sand. It's not as glamorous as you'd think. 116 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:47,000 Rowsdower30: Move the injured girl around as much as possible, there ya go 117 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:57,000 lousycanuck: Killed by land sharks. Wotta way to go. 118 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:27,000 pzmyers: Why is she telling her to stop? SHe's only been out for a minute. 119 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:44,000 CyberLizard: Ermergerd! Teers! 120 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:51,000 lousycanuck: Hey, why's this horror movie trope always gotta pick 'em off one at a time? 121 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:15,000 drskyskull: "Push it in farther, and turn it!" *George Takei voice* Oh, myyyyy... 122 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:28,000 lousycanuck: "God dammit, get out of the way, you don't know how to work a damn key. Let me mansplain... man." 123 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:48,000 CyberLizard: Fire marshal is a little lax in that town if there's only one door. 124 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:29,000 lousycanuck: "Oh no! Windows 98! MY WORST FEAR EVER!!!" 125 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:36,000 CA7746: Oh gods, it's a password guessing scene... 126 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:40,000 pzmyers: "Swordfish". 127 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:48,000 pzmyers: "Password". 128 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:55,000 CyberLizard: @pzmyers All passwords must contain both upper and lower case letters and at least one special character. 129 00:45:54,000 --> 00:46:00,000 Rowsdower30: @CyberLizard @pzmyers This movie has "special" characters, alright 130 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:50,000 lousycanuck: Remember, together, forever, and never a-paaaart 131 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:57,000 Rowsdower30: something we can use as weapons.. You mean BESIDES the GUN 132 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:04,000 pzmyers: Oh, yeah. Radial saw as a weapon. Maybe something will happen. 133 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:45,000 pzmyers: Wait, she gave it up for a flashlight? 134 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:41,000 lousycanuck: Black guy gots a gun, so surely the evil spirits will chase him down and kill him on sight while on the phone with 911. 135 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:21,000 drskyskull: Lord Voldemort! Fear Number 5: being sued by J.K. Rowling. 136 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:27,000 pzmyers: OOOH. Plywood coffin, boring dummy. I'm scared. Cheap props are always terrifying. 137 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:46,000 lousycanuck: Right. The Insane Asylum is totally where I'D put an emergency exit. 138 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:07,000 CyberLizard: Awww, I hate seeing Snoop dog cry :-( 139 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:14,000 lousycanuck: "What's he saying?" "I think he's saying 'call my agent.'" 140 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:12,000 CA7746: "You move and I'll shoot!" ... "We don't want to hurt you." 141 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:17,000 lousycanuck: "Are you Hamadi? Listen to me. Our douchebag friend really wanted to get a message to you a while ago... but he kinda died." 142 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:23,000 pzmyers: Why is the black guy wandering off by himself? Hasn't he ever seen any horror movies? 143 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:49,000 pzmyers: Yeah, drugs cause wounds and bleeding. 144 00:52:55,000 --> 00:53:01,000 CA7746: "The statue can RE-incarnate your fears." 145 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:22,000 lousycanuck: "What statue?" "The only statue you manhandled, dumbass." 146 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:31,000 drskyskull: I'm sorry -- if this statue brought out their greatest fears, they'd all have really bad acne. 147 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:42,000 CyberLizard: "Being suffocated." "That's what she said." 148 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:27,000 lousycanuck: Nobody suggested their greatest fear was a fifty-foot Stay-Puft. I AM DISAPOINT. 149 00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:52,000 Rowsdower30: What is your fear? Dandruff! 150 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:56,000 pzmyers: That's realy tough cord. 151 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:07,000 lousycanuck: Gun Kid's greatest fear is being killed by a ricochet. 152 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:20,000 lousycanuck: Sam's greatest fear is one Dr. Crane. 153 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:46,000 CA7746: If I only had a BRAINSSS... 154 00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:02,000 CyberLizard: Puppy!!! 155 00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:03,000 Rowsdower30: SNAUSAGES!!! 156 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:47,000 Rowsdower30: "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you" = "You're DEFINITELY gonna die" 157 00:56:55,000 --> 00:57:01,000 pzmyers: Her fear is WISCONSIN. I can sympathize. 158 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:30,000 CA7746: Her fear is tractors. 159 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:41,000 CyberLizard: Back story? Really? Is that entirely necessary? 160 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:55,000 lousycanuck: Oh, and none of you are melee class. Not even Barbed Wire Bat guy. 161 00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:08,000 drskyskull: "I'm afraid of not being afraid... suck on THAT, evil statue!!!" 162 00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:18,000 pzmyers: OK, who had the fear of bald guys wiht hammers? 163 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:23,000 CyberLizard: Bull from Night Court finally snaps 164 00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:28,000 drskyskull: Voldemort is so sick of all these elaborate plots... he thought, "What if I just kill people with a hammer instead?" 165 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:29,000 lousycanuck: Now whose fear is being annoyed to death by beeping? 166 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:44,000 drskyskull: "Your fear is being electrocuted by a scarecrow? Ok, that's weird, but we can work with that." 167 01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:51,000 lousycanuck: Carter was the closest thing to a fighter class they had. OH WELL. 168 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:41,000 CA7746: They've repeatedly expressed the fear that they'd ALL die. So... 169 01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:52,000 pzmyers: The black guy is still alive. I'm calling a penalty -- clear violation of standard tropes. 170 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:57,000 pzmyers: Clowns coming up, I hope. Evil, scary, imaginiative clowns. 171 01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:04,000 pzmyers: That's asking too much, isn't it? 172 01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:16,000 drskyskull: "Fear of clowns walking around you in circles? Also weird, but I'll see what I can do." 173 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:33,000 pzmyers: YOu know, if I was there, I'd be most scared of the trigger happy freak with the gun. 174 01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:41,000 CyberLizard: My fear of columns has manifested itself. 175 01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:03,000 lousycanuck: Why won't they ever just break the fun house mirrors like in Enter The Dragon? 176 01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:35,000 drskyskull: Iiiiiit's HAMMERTIME!!! #OhOhOhOhOhOhOh 177 01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:15,000 CyberLizard: The big guy does remind me of The Gentlemen. Slightly creepy. Does that count as horror? 178 01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:20,000 pzmyers: Yeah, so they should just scream. That's how you kill The Gentlemen. 179 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:29,000 lousycanuck: C'mere, Lurch just wants a hug. 180 01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:39,000 lousycanuck: Hey, my fear is an hour of heavy panting with absolutely no release. Think this movie can deliver? 181 01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:18,000 lousycanuck: Oh, right, this is where we previously established the existence of lumber at the beginning of the movie. 182 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:29,000 CyberLizard: This whole locked-in-coffin thing wouldnt be so bad if this damn light wasn't in my eye! 183 01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:06,000 pzmyers: That radial saw will be handy for slicing open a plywood box. But a bit anticlimactic. 184 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:12,000 lousycanuck: Has anyone else counted Gun Kid's shots? 185 01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:17,000 CA7746: @lousycanuck He's been reloading pretty well. 186 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:23,000 pzmyers: Now, finally , they figure out what a saw might be good for. 187 01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:56,000 pzmyers: That was it? Enter, evil clown. Lights out. And...SCENE! Cut! We're done here. 188 01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:46,000 lousycanuck: Samantha takes a level in badass. 189 01:09:56,000 --> 01:10:02,000 CyberLizard: I call foul! We didn't even get to see the dismembering! 190 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:16,000 pzmyers: ANd now....big fight scene, radial saw against evil bald guy and....darkness! Sound effects! Done! 191 01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:30,000 lousycanuck: An epic fight scene they couldn't be bothered to put on film, it's just so epic. 192 01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:38,000 CyberLizard: How much did Ryobi pay for this product placement? 193 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:50,000 CA7746: I dreamt I was in this terrible movie... 194 01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:40,000 lousycanuck: Now what could a man of straw's weakness possibly be? Let's see... we've tried guns, and electricity... Blunt instruments? 195 01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:04,000 drskyskull: *insert obligatory "give the man a hand!" joke for scarecrow here* 196 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:53,000 lousycanuck: @drskyskull Churches! Gravy!! 197 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:56,000 drskyskull: REAL brave, Sam! "I'll lead the way -- you stay back there with the killer scarecrow!" 198 01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:05,000 lousycanuck: "To reach the grail we have to make a leap of faith. Leap... of faith..." 199 01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:24,000 CyberLizard: "I didn't hack bald guy to pieces just so you could wus out over a little bridge! Move your ass!" 200 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:44,000 lousycanuck: "Don't look down! Don't look back! Don't put your foot where there isn't solid material! Pushy, pushy!" 201 01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:37,000 CA7746: Sam! Sam! Sam! Maybe if I say it again... 202 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:16,000 pzmyers: Man, that was easy. Just drop the statue and supernatural horror is defeated. 203 01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:22,000 lousycanuck: Destroying the evil statue didn't just, you know, make the evil spirits even more pissed off? Okay, sure. 204 01:17:23,000 --> 01:17:29,000 drskyskull: "So... what the F was that all about?" 205 01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:55,000 lousycanuck: "See, Sam? I told you you'd have fun! And we even got rid of some of our more annoying friends." 206 01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:34,000 CA7746: *sigh* Still not over. There's an extra scene after the credits. 207 01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:41,000 pzmyers: Goddamn you. Damn you right to hell. RT @CA7746: *sigh* Still not over. There's an extra scene after the credits. 208 01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:50,000 drskyskull: Moral of the story? If you dump your girlfriend in the middle of a haunted house, you'll get electrocuted by a scarecrow. The End. 209 01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:59,000 CyberLizard: Sisterly bonding. How sweet. Don't worry about how seeing all your friends die I front of you will scar you for life. 210 01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:06,000 pzmyers: Where did this thing originally air? On Lifetime, or the Oxygen network? 211 01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:13,000 pzmyers: "Two sisters learn the meaning of family...and life." 212 01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:24,000 drskyskull: I just realized I wanna write a horror movie that's set on an HGTV "House Hunters" episode that's gone horribly wrong. 213 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:32,000 CyberLizard: The really sad thing is that now this piece of crap is in my netflix database and they'll try to show me crap like it. 214 01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:37,000 lousycanuck: @CyberLizard Rate it low. Then go trolling for one-star movies like I do. :D 215 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:46,000 CyberLizard: @lousycanuck I just did and netflix responded: Sorry, we don't have any suggestions, based on this rating. Winning! 216 01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:56,000 drskyskull: Anyone else? Moral of the story? 217 01:19:55,000 --> 01:20:01,000 lousycanuck: Lesson for the movie: balance your party members and re-roll anyone who ends up with a 3 in Charisma like Broseph. 218 01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:09,000 CyberLizard: Moral, chicks rule boys drool? Or get electrocuted, strangled or slashed open? 219 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:16,000 CA7746: Scarecrows are formidable when nobody has fire. 220 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:23,000 lousycanuck: Morals: it's perfectly okay to lie about spiders being in the movie. We didn't have the budget for them anyway. 221 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:30,000 CA7746: They did say the haunted house had some bugs. 222 01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:37,000 pzmyers: didn't they also say there were NINE fears, when all we got was a couple of boring "meh"s? 223 01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:46,000 pzmyers: The final scene after the credits is going to redeem the rest of the crap, right? RIGHT? 224 01:20:47,000 --> 01:20:53,000 lousycanuck: This title music could be the only redeeming quality of the entire film. Except for the bullshit scary face. 225 01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:37,000 pzmyers: The moral of the story: I'm outta whiskey, need to get more tomorrow. 226 01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:50,000 lousycanuck: The only genuine scare I got was the first jack in the box. Seriously. 227 01:21:55,000 --> 01:22:01,000 CyberLizard: I now have a fear that someone will nickname me "broseph". 228 01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:11,000 CyberLizard: Off to sleep now. Here's hoping broseph and his buddies stay out of my dreams. 229 01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:22,000 CyberLizard: Holy... did you see @broseph's profile pic? 230 01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:34,000 pzmyers: @CyberLizard: We can put a "br" in front of any name & make it cool. Brason. Brohn. Brpz. 231 01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:41,000 CyberLizard: Aaaaaand a pun that bad means it's time for me to sleep. 232 01:22:57,000 --> 01:23:03,000 CA7746: It's all indoors, but filmed in Utah nonetheless. 233 01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:44,000 lousycanuck: Seariously, the guy on the title card was "Sir Not Appearing In This Film". 234 01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:07,000 pzmyers: Oh, it's a *little* film. No wonder there wasn't much to it. 235 01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:12,000 drskyskull: Bet director ended filming not with "That's a wrap!" but with, "Soooo... that happened."