1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,000 MockTM: Aaaand go! 2 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:29,000 blakestacey: "Look at my torso...you are getting veeerry sleeepy..." 3 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:45,000 lousycanuck: Okay, everybody do The Twist again, like you did last time you broke down on the road. 4 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:51,000 blakestacey: Well hell-o Cleveland! 5 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:10,000 szvan: It's the tassels on the boots, really. 6 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:25,000 DrRubidium: is the baton twirling a metaphor? Cause if not, it's just annoying. 7 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:43,000 blakestacey: I love high-school girls. I get older and they stay the same age...about 30 in this case. 8 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:52,000 szvan: I see. She twirls the baton to keep warm. 9 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,000 blakestacey: "This is like LOSTville. We'd better watch out for Hilary the smoke-monster." 10 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:09,000 DrRubidium: this is the WORST dubbing I have ever heard 11 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:19,000 lousycanuck: "This is like Lostville." "No, this is more like Absentia. Or maybe Nowheretown." 12 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:22,000 blakestacey: "It'll be shorter through those woods. Because shortcuts have worked out so well for us so far tonight!" 13 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:42,000 blakestacey: Ah, the mellow jazz of doom. 14 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:54,000 blakestacey: Doom doom doom doom-doom... 15 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:57,000 szvan: I think they dubbed this from English to English...which makes me wonder how bad the original English was. 16 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:10,000 blakestacey: Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. 17 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:21,000 lousycanuck: "And your acting is so stiff and wooden." "Ah, my servos aren't working. Batteries are down and I forgot to replace 'em." 18 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:33,000 DrRubidium: Take (1) a short-cut that leaves you (3) stranded AND (3) go into the woods #horrormovietrifecta 19 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:43,000 szvan: Look, honey. I thought a dead battery in the flashlight would be...convenient. 20 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:44,000 blakestacey: Bets on what the T on that sweater stands for? Tool? Thirty-seven? 21 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:59,000 DrRubidium: SWEET CHRIST ON A CRACKER! This is a beatnik horror movie 22 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:17,000 szvan: How can I tweet if the soundtrack keeps me snapping along? 23 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,000 blakestacey: "Seems like we've been walking for hours!" "I know! Let's stop here and heavily pet!" 24 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:59,000 lousycanuck: "Hey, now, don't point that thing at us, it could go off." Bow chicka wow wow. 25 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:36,000 blakestacey: "You edge around behind me, then twirl to distract them." 26 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:06,000 blakestacey: Sigh. Gunned down by Cletus the Off-Screen Yokel. 27 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:16,000 szvan: Run, Margie! I'll tackle him then leave him with his gun! 28 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:34,000 DrRubidium: why run back to the car that isn't working? 29 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:40,000 agolas: @blakestacey "Tackle," apparently! 30 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:41,000 lousycanuck: "Marjie? Marjie? I seem to have lost you sometime around when we were both shot by Nazis." 31 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:37,000 szvan: After the intro music, this scene is a real drag, man. 32 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:40,000 lousycanuck: "Someplace I won't be reached by telephone, teletype, television, telekinesis, televangelism, or Telly Savalas." 33 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:05,000 blakestacey: Leer factor seven! 34 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:33,000 blakestacey: "He's busy finding out who stole all those cats." 35 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:49,000 szvan: RT @lousycanuck: "Someplace I won't be reached by telephone, teletype, television, telekinesis, televangelism, or Telly Savalas." 36 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:59,000 DrRubidium: This is the first beatnik horror movie I've ever seen. It's out of sight, man. 37 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:04,000 lousycanuck: @DrRubidium Yeah, it's the real bees' knees, man! *snap snap snap* 38 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:26,000 DrRubidium: "Ego-ectomy" is my new favorite thing 39 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:36,000 DrRubidium: That kid was shot twice and he survives? Those guys were crap shots. 40 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:42,000 blakestacey: Harlan Ellison? In a shooting scrape? ... not so surprised. 41 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:44,000 szvan: Oh. Oh! Now I understand why all those assholes think talking like that works. They saw this movie. 42 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:17,000 szvan: RT @DrRubidium: "Ego-ectomy" is my new favorite thing 43 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:49,000 blakestacey: "Soda? Vicodin?" 44 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:34,000 blakestacey: "Well, I could take a vacation to the bottom of a bottle right now..." 45 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:50,000 DrRubidium: there is a shocking lack of turtlenecks in this beatnick flick 46 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:05,000 szvan: Ellison is a student at the university in his eighteenth year... 47 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:41,000 lousycanuck: "Well early this afternoon, they took a shortcut through Nazi-occupied Wisconsin." 48 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:49,000 blakestacey: "They left the university and took a shortcut through the valley of the shadow of death..." 49 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:53,000 szvan: Horror lesson #12: There are no shortcuts on farm roads. 50 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:15,000 lousycanuck: RT @szvan: Ellison is a student at the university in his eighteenth year... 51 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:30,000 DrRubidium: so, the kids got shot by Revolution War era soldiers? Was that a musket?! 52 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:43,000 agolas: Apparently the best reporters don't need to take notes 53 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:58,000 lousycanuck: "Sometimes I'm forced to alter my opinion by evidence. The Republicans hate that and call me a flip-flopper." 54 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:03,000 blakestacey: "Some times, I'm forced to change my opinion based on how drunk I am." 55 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:52,000 szvan: That's not a mini-ball. It's a very, very small ribbed dildo. 56 00:14:54,000 --> 00:15:00,000 blakestacey: "So, we've got murderous re-enactors on the loose." 57 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:03,000 DrRubidium: Holy shit. This movie explains the current GOP. Fucking Confederates with time machines. 58 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:11,000 lousycanuck: "You'll have to dig a long way through the ballistics file. That's a throwin' rock." 59 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:24,000 blakestacey: Male Gaze factor 8. 60 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:26,000 szvan: Swivel cam! 61 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:49,000 DrRubidium: this is a swinging party, daddy-o. Where are those crazy Nazi scientists? 62 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:04,000 szvan: Oh, honey. Keep some tension in those hands as you dance. 63 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:57,000 blakestacey: "Go on away and leeeave me alone..." "OK." 64 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:24,000 szvan: Don't care whether you live or die? Have we got a role for you! 65 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:26,000 DrRubidium: Sanda the singer is stoned 66 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:30,000 blakestacey: Settle in for some classic vintage padding-by-song... 67 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:32,000 lousycanuck: "It ended when you signed the restraining ordeeeeeeer." 68 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:41,000 blakestacey: "my dreams all explode in my face" Dreamkkake? 69 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:53,000 szvan: Would someone care to explain to her how a microphone works? 70 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:14,000 lousycanuck: "Comin' down with the sorrows coz I just told my baby the restrainin' order prevents me from being 100 yards from youuuuu" 71 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:57,000 blakestacey: Not drinking on duty? Hey, the doctors do it -- go ahead! 72 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:35,000 DrRubidium: accorder to Mama Rubidium, Sandra's hairstyle is only possible with Aquanet & a foam cap 73 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:46,000 lousycanuck: Undoing her dress, more male gaze ahoy! 74 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:57,000 blakestacey: "Are you decent?" "Slightly sleaze-coated, why do you ask?" 75 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:11,000 lousycanuck: "Have you heard from your sister recently?" "Who?" 76 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:30,000 blakestacey: "Maybe you better sit down so I can repeat the plot AGAIN..." 77 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:33,000 szvan: Maybe you'd better sit down and let me loom from 12 inches away. 78 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:33,000 DrRubidium: I wonder if this movie is dubbed because they lost the sound reel? There's a story here... 79 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:55,000 blakestacey: Wow, a Walter Winchell reference. That's dating a film for ya. 80 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:11,000 szvan: Did he always have a southern accent or is that new? 81 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:44,000 lousycanuck: "Miss Damar? I'm Jim Crandall. Have you heard the good news about Reverand Moon?" 82 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:04,000 DrRubidium: we're 20+ minutes in and there are NO NAZIS. OR TIME MACHINES 83 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:21,000 blakestacey: "Let's see, how do I top getting into a car with a strange man...I know! Ask him to drive me into a deserted forest!" 84 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:24,000 lousycanuck: "It's 1am. And I'm not a fucking cab service. Also, who the hell are you?" 85 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:52,000 lousycanuck: RT @DrRubidium: we're 20+ minutes in and there are NO NAZIS. OR TIME MACHINES 86 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:54,000 blakestacey: Yeah, hard to find a cab in the middle of...day-for-night. 87 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:53,000 DrRubidium: It was 1am. Then it was daytime. Now it's night. Consistency, B movie, consistency! 88 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:57,000 lousycanuck: "Evening ma'am." "Has there been any news of my sister?" "I've seen bears do things even a bear wouldn't do." "uh.. what?" 89 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:37,000 lousycanuck: "Those terrible dogs. Oh Jim. They make me horny." 90 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:40,000 blakestacey: "Oh, Jim!" "Uh, you just met me like 20 minutes ago." 91 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:47,000 CarlieP: I had to reboot my computer - what minute are you on now? 92 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:31,000 lousycanuck: @CarlieP 25:25 93 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:54,000 blakestacey: Ah, the days when you could schlep evidence around in paper grocery bags... 94 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:12,000 lousycanuck: "The dogs got about halfway through the open space. Then they stopped. And they started dancing, Gangnam style." 95 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:16,000 szvan: "How many southern accents do we have on the lot?" "About enough for half a cast." "Eh, that'll do." 96 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:37,000 lousycanuck: RT @szvan: "How many southern accents do we have on the lot?" "About enough for half a cast." "Eh, that'll do." 97 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:54,000 CarlieP: @lousycanuck Thanks! 98 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:12,000 blakestacey: Ah, so this movie is actually set in THE FUTURE. 99 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:32,000 DrRubidium: Am I the only one hoping there's a showdown between Confederates & Nazis? #moardeaths 100 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:36,000 blakestacey: "She's spending the night with her girlfriend. By Gad, I wish I could watch." #cheapshotsImakethem 101 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:46,000 lousycanuck: "I'm not paid to have opinions. I'm paid to put jigsaw puzzles together. Then glue 'em and hang 'em on a wall. It's a living." 102 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:49,000 szvan: I want to get paid to put jigsaw puzzles together! 103 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:52,000 agolas: "I'm paid to put together jigsaw puzzles. It's actually a pretty cushy gig." 104 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:19,000 DrRubidium: Damn historical re-enactors with their actually shooting people! 105 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:25,000 szvan: "It's a nice theory, but what happened to the girl?" "Eh, she's a girl. Who cares?" 106 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:34,000 blakestacey: "It's spooky. It reminds me of something I saw in my days on the X-Files." 107 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:53,000 lousycanuck: So they liberated a Nazi spa? 108 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:38,000 DrRubidium: finally, Nazis! Let's get this going. #moardeaths 109 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:05,000 blakestacey: Wow. This is one convenient back story delivery system. 110 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:06,000 szvan: This is the part we could never understand...how we all ended up signing a contract after reading the script. 111 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:20,000 rvitelli: @DrRubidium Once the time machine is operational, they'll appear in the movie five minutes ago. 112 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:26,000 lousycanuck: Experiments in what the hell? Temporal scrambling or some shit? 113 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:38,000 blakestacey: "His name was Herr Doktor Ernst von Evil." 114 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:45,000 DrRubidium: Damn you, Ernst von Hauser! Fucking, physicists! 115 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:40,000 lousycanuck: "How are we ever going to get the audience buy a backstory like that?" "That's your problem." 116 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:51,000 lousycanuck: RT @blakestacey: "His name was Herr Doktor Ernst von Evil." 117 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:14,000 DrRubidium: Pultizer? Slow down there, reporter fellow. 118 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:19,000 lousycanuck: "No, man, they don't give Pulitzers for crazy. Get the hell off this line." 119 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:23,000 szvan: "Give me the city desk.... Ray? Yeah, I need that vacation way more than I thought I did. You'll never believe what I just heard." 120 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:30,000 blakestacey: Thrilling Research Action!!! 121 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:33,000 CarlieP: He's discovered time travel is possible, and all he thinks of is winning an award? 122 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:43,000 CarlieP: Side note:a really good Nazi time travel movie is Tomorrow I'll Wake Up And Scald Myself With Tea. 1970s Czech. 123 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:20,000 lousycanuck: Yes, Gone With the Wind, the epic time travelling Nazi tale. 124 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:31,000 CarlieP: "It's buggin' me out of my skull" might be my new catch phrase. 125 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:48,000 blakestacey: "Hi, Sandy. You look less like a cheap floozy in this light." 126 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:52,000 szvan: "Hello, Jim." "Good morning, Sandy." "Hush! He'll figure out what we did last night!" 127 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:21,000 lousycanuck: "Would you mind if I went with you?" "Yes, I enjoy your company in bed. Well I'm in bed, and you're not. FOR NOW." 128 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:35,000 blakestacey: "I'll bring some magazines. Guns & Ammo, Physical Review B, you know." 129 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:36,000 blakestacey: "Gee thanks Mr. Crandell. Could you also pick up Shonen Jump and DOS Resource Guide?" 130 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:41,000 lousycanuck: RT @szvan: "Hello, Jim." "Good morning, Sandy." "Hush! He'll figure out what we did last night!" 131 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:10,000 blakestacey: It's toe-tappingly tedious! 132 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:17,000 DrRubidium: Sanda, honey, ditch the heels from some boots. Unless you're the stupid bitch that's gonna die soon... 133 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:19,000 lousycanuck: "Looks like the typical haunted house, huh?" "No, there weren't any bats flying out when we approached. And it's broad daylight." 134 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:24,000 szvan: "Looks like the typical haunted house, doesn't it, Jim?" "Yeah. Think we should learn anything from that?" "I don't see why." 135 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:29,000 DrRubidium: "Looks like the typical haunted house, doesn't it Jim?" (that a clue, Sanda, to get the FUCK out of there) 136 00:36:54,000 --> 00:37:00,000 blakestacey: Man, I love cinematography which obscures the hero behind trees AND in shadow SIMULTANEOUSLY. 137 00:36:54,000 --> 00:37:00,000 CarlieP: Don't they know not to split up before going into a haunted house? 138 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:57,000 blakestacey: Hi-keeba! 139 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:10,000 szvan: "We need a fight choreographer!" "I think the guy from Batman is available." 140 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:11,000 DrRubidium: I had no idea there was going to be a dance number in this thing. Oh, that's a fight? 141 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:12,000 lousycanuck: Bink! Paf! Mint! Zoink! 142 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:19,000 CarlieP: That is an interesting choice for fight music. 143 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:39,000 blakestacey: "Now stand up so I can punch you some more! Ha! Now we shall leave without asking any questions!" 144 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:47,000 lousycanuck: RT @blakestacey: Hi-keeba! 145 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:11,000 DrRubidium: and we're running.. and running... and running... 146 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:24,000 CarlieP: This is starting to look like the attack scene from Holy Grail. 147 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:40,000 lousycanuck: WHOA THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! TIMELINE SHIFT WHOOOOOA 148 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:49,000 szvan: I want to know what these farmers are pasturing. It's isn't cows, or they'd be stepping into more than a time anomaly. 149 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:11,000 CarlieP: Jim! My voice! It's been ADR'd! 150 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:12,000 szvan: RT @DrRubidium: I had no idea there was going to be a dance number in this thing. Oh, that's a fight? 151 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:45,000 lousycanuck: "That fence wasn't here before." And Nazis are known for their wooden fences, as opposed to barbed wire. 152 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:23,000 szvan: "Jim, I know you know what's happening but you won't tell me. Why?" "Because you keep talking maybe. I mean, just a guess." 153 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:41,000 DrRubidium: Sanda, why do you keep saying "Tim"? He knows he's Tim and he's the only person there besides you. 154 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:16,000 blakestacey: Good thing they time-travelled into the same season. Convenient, that. 155 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:37,000 lousycanuck: Any minute now, Connor's going to leap out of a tree from off camera and stab that tricorn-wearing fucker in the throat. 156 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:59,000 DrRubidium: did we get transported to a Baroque court? What the hell is up with this music? 157 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:22,000 CarlieP: Way to go with that lighter, Jim. 158 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:23,000 szvan: "Witchcraft!" Well, now we know what happened to all the other time travelers. 159 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:34,000 DrRubidium: @lousycanuck one can but hope and dream... #moardeaths 160 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:34,000 DrRubidium: Crap. Jim & Sandra have been transported to a go-go dance club 161 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:35,000 CarlieP: That looks and sounds just like the guy and lab Miss Piggy ended up in in the Muppet Movie. 162 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:38,000 szvan: Nazi! And only halfway through the movie. A Roger Corman movie this is not. 163 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:45,000 lousycanuck: You can totally tell that guy's a time-altering Nazi by the staggered gauges on his pressboard background. 164 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:57,000 blakestacey: Won't you please step out? So I can give your faces to the Man-Machine? 165 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:35,000 szvan: "Doc, stop showing off. We're looking for a girl." "Yeah, everyone says that." 166 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:04,000 lousycanuck: "Cleopatra! Commen sie hier, schnell!" 167 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:09,000 DrRubidium: Ernst van Hauser sounds more like Ernesto Vasquez doing a horrible German accent 168 00:46:54,000 --> 00:47:00,000 lousycanuck: "This is like a fantastic nightmare and I don't understand any of it because I fucking hate temporal mechanics. Failed it twice." 169 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:17,000 szvan: "I was doing experiments. That lovely young women keep getting caught by my machine? Pure perq." 170 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:09,000 blakestacey: Hicksville Library has a decently-stocked physics section, it seems. 171 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:18,000 lousycanuck: RT @szvan: "I was doing experiments. That lovely young women keep getting caught by my machine? Pure perq." 172 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:27,000 DrRubidium: Ohhhhh...International Congress of Physicists...fancy 173 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:08,000 agolas: "Ahead of his time! And I know from time!" 174 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:20,000 szvan: Ooh, trash talking Hitler. Our hero is a true hero indeed. So brave. You can tell by the drum roll. 175 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:24,000 CarlieP: Why is there a Revolutionary drumroll going on? 176 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:51,000 CarlieP: This is the oddest soundtrack ever. 177 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:05,000 DrRubidium: I'm not sure it's wise to antagonize your captor, Jim 178 00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:10,000 szvan: "You will forgive me for my outburst of temper. Otherwise, we'll have to find a reasonable way to end this scene." 179 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:42,000 lousycanuck: "He called for weapons, super weapons to turn the tide of war in the last few days. And I gave him a genetically engineered RABBIT!" 180 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:46,000 CarlieP: The drums... I can hear the sound of drums... 181 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:50,000 lousycanuck: @CarlieP Holy fuck, Ernst gazed into the untempered schism! 182 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:17,000 szvan: "If we'd only had time for further experiments." "Um, dude, maybe I shouldn't mention this, but you have a TIME MACHINE." 183 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:51,000 lousycanuck: RT @szvan: "If we'd only had time for further experiments." "Um, dude, maybe I shouldn't mention this, but you have a TIME MACHINE." 184 00:52:54,000 --> 00:53:00,000 szvan: That expression is the look of a man watching his Pulitzer disappear because no one will ever believe him ever. 185 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:07,000 CarlieP: When did Sandy change clothes? 186 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:10,000 szvan: Funny how all those movies that pluck Egyptian women from the past never pluck the transparent linen with them. Cowards. 187 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:21,000 blakestacey: Upskirt shot for...the win? 188 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:25,000 szvan: I never knew that @CONvergenceCon's mascot was designed by a mad Nazi movie scientist. I should have guessed, though. 189 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:31,000 lousycanuck: "I'm alright, except I'm from a completely different timeline where I didn't die, and have no idea who you are." 190 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:18,000 szvan: This movie, sadly, was filmed before the concept of "hand-waving". 191 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:27,000 lousycanuck: These are the velocity dials that control the passage of time. I used dials because they're slightly more complicated then levers. 192 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:34,000 CarlieP: @lousycanuck Plus they can go to eleven. 193 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:16,000 szvan: "Doc, I know you're a mad Nazi, but...well, will you shoot me if I fall asleep in class?" 194 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:18,000 blakestacey: Mad scientist explaining how a globe works...yay? 195 00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:25,000 CarlieP: "And now, bring the edges of your skirt together, and the ant is there instead of walking across the whole line!" #tesser 196 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:58,000 lousycanuck: "Yeah, yeah, you wrapped around time. I get it. Jeez. This is like 101-level stuff. Get to where you can prevent paradoxes." 197 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:09,000 CarlieP: This entire explanation of space-time is being illustrated with an arrow and a line. 198 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:29,000 blakestacey: "If there is no limit to space...there is no limit to velocity!" 199 00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:33,000 lousycanuck: "There is no limit to time and no limit to velocity and no limit, no no limit," 200 00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:05,000 lousycanuck: Jesus fuck, why couldn't you just blame phogiston or something? Skip the lecture, doc. 201 00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:11,000 szvan: "I'm afraid you lost me, Doc." It's so nice when the hero can be a stand-in for the audience. 202 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:33,000 DrRubidium: this guys is talking a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. Minus rays have an accelerating velocity? Wha?! 203 00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:01,000 szvan: Can we have some snappy music for this lecture? 204 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:25,000 szvan: Physics dance party! 205 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:37,000 szvan: Please? 206 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:43,000 CarlieP: Can we travel in time to when you're done explaining, Herr Doctor? 207 01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:13,000 lousycanuck: "And we will pass this lime and no longer be moving in the direction of the future but in the direction of the nearest Arbys." 208 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:23,000 szvan: RT @CarlieP: Can we travel in time to when you're done explaining, Herr Doctor? 209 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:36,000 CarlieP: Did Jim just start on an SAT question? "If a train left the station..." 210 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:56,000 blakestacey: "Why are you telling me this?" "To impress upon you that any nonsense sounds like physics if said in a sufficiently German accent." 211 01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:33,000 szvan: Can we start a meme where we call subtitle the physics lecture? 212 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:45,000 lousycanuck: How proud and superior you felt when you beat us without having to listen to hours of droning lectures! 213 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:19,000 DrRubidium: Jim, why haven't you taken a shot at the old man? Seriously, you could take him. 214 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:38,000 szvan: "The lecture is over, Mr. Crandon, and you look tired." "I think hypnotized is the word you're looking for, Doc." 215 01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:54,000 CarlieP: Oh sure, NOW the peppy music shows up. 216 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:58,000 lousycanuck: "You can't get away with this!" "Are you paying attention? I have a fucking TIME MACHINE. I can become your father if I wanted!" 217 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:06,000 DrRubidium: um, Sandy is now rocking her night club hair. Does this mean another song? 218 01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:35,000 lousycanuck: "I don't know. But I do know one thing. I feel another beat poem coming on." 219 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:48,000 CarlieP: This whole plot has to resolve in less than 15 minutes. 220 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:48,000 szvan: Now for a song! 221 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:54,000 DrRubidium: NO ONE HAS DIED IN THIS MOVIE!!! 222 01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:18,000 blakestacey: Our hero...kicks back for a nap. 223 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:33,000 szvan: "Sandy, what is it?!" "The Colossus at Rhodes!" 224 01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:36,000 lousycanuck: "Jim!" "What is it?" "A gigantic pair of legs appeared out of nowhere!!!" 225 01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:42,000 DrRubidium: why does Sandy's sister have a southern accent? 226 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:09,000 szvan: Oh, cheerleaders. So portable. 227 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:19,000 lousycanuck: Worst act-crying ever. 228 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:49,000 CarlieP: Herr doctor had to lock Margie in a chair to make her listen to his explanation of time travel. 229 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:21,000 lousycanuck: Ceiling Cleopatra watches you sulk in your cage. 230 01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:49,000 szvan: "You eat now. It is traditional Egyptian food-truck food." 231 01:07:55,000 --> 01:08:01,000 DrRubidium: "You've got to help us, you're our only hope!" Well, now we know where Lucas got that line... 232 01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:20,000 lousycanuck: The art of convincing someone to treason involves saying "please" repeatedly. 233 01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:43,000 lousycanuck: RT @szvan: "You eat now. It is traditional Egyptian food-truck food." 234 01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:50,000 lousycanuck: @szvan Lembas bread? 235 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:29,000 lousycanuck: Oh, she just used her Egyptian Nerve Pinch. (Which involves a dagger.) 236 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:29,000 szvan: See, now. Pissing off the one black actress isn't a good idea. 237 01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:33,000 CarlieP: Nice doing nothing to help, Sandy you loser! 238 01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:41,000 DrRubidium: of course, the black lady has to die 239 01:09:54,000 --> 01:10:00,000 blakestacey: "Sandy! Sandy! DO SOMETHING, for God's sake!" 240 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:24,000 lousycanuck: And now the percussion sneaking-out music. 241 01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:37,000 szvan: "Jim, he strangled her!" "It's all right, honey. It wasn't us." 242 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:57,000 blakestacey: "I told you, struggle is useless! You will only arouse me needlessly!" 243 01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:48,000 CarlieP: Seriously, that's the same machine Doc Hopper was going to use to make Kermit do frog leg commercials. 244 01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:09,000 lousycanuck: "I haven't experimented with the future before! Just altering the past which changes the future and... oh it's complicated." 245 01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:31,000 blakestacey: "Margie!" "Sandy! I brought you an iPhone!" 246 01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:08,000 CarlieP: Nice to know they at least follow Chekhov's rule there. 247 01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:19,000 lousycanuck: Those two lightbulbs were critical to the time machine. His whole operation is crippled! 248 01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:23,000 szvan: Without knobs, we'll never time travel again! 249 01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:59,000 agolas: Four minutes to go, and now it's a zombie movie! 250 01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:19,000 lousycanuck: Oh, the old secret Nazi time travel dungeon under the leaf-covered trap door trick. 251 01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:22,000 szvan: "What is it, Finley?" "Dude, are you blind?" 252 01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:46,000 CarlieP: The important question is, will Margie be able to twirl her baton again after this trauma? 253 01:14:56,000 --> 01:15:02,000 lousycanuck: "The what machine?" "The ice cream machine. Now get down there ya lug!" 254 01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:32,000 szvan: "Oh, did I ever tell you what happened to von Hauser?" "Er...nope." "Yeah, he died in the past." "Huh. Go figure. 255 01:15:58,000 --> 01:16:04,000 CarlieP: "Well, time travel's possible. Now let's break it." 256 01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:08,000 szvan: Break the neon, and the machine will never work again! 257 01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:13,000 blakestacey: So, the time machine uses a coffee percolator as a key component? 258 01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:32,000 lousycanuck: "I think I know a darn good way to shut it off. Hit it til it explodes." Yup, that's my plan for most problems. 259 01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:44,000 agolas: The machine? We've got top men working on it. Top. Men. 260 01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:15,000 szvan: "Why don't you take the two ladies home?" "I thought you'd never ask." "Jim, shouldn't you let *them* ask?" 261 01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:41,000 lousycanuck: "Listen. The way I figure is this. They tampered in God's domain." 262 01:17:54,000 --> 01:18:00,000 blakestacey: "Uh, that's it? You don't have any...questions, or anything?" 263 01:18:17,000 --> 01:18:23,000 CarlieP: Jeez, they are walking across that field again. That field should have top billing by now.