1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:10,000
<font color="#c10020">"SyFy Presents" - clearly the scariest scene in the movie!</font>

2
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:32,000
<font color="#c10020">"Paris, France" [shot of Eiffel Tower] - gee, I would *never* have guessed!</font>

3
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:40,000
<font color="#808080">Why's my screen all fuzzy? I thought I chose HD...</font>

4
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:45,000
<font color="#c10020">Wow, she bit a bad maraschino cherry!</font>

5
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:54,000
<font color="#ffffff">There goes Big Ben! BIG CARNAGE!</font>

6
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:57,000
<font color="#00ff00">At least Michael Jackson used dancers for his zombies so they had some idea how to move.</font>

7
00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:02,000
<font color="#c10020">See, this is what happens when you write "zombies" into your Death Note!</font>

8
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:16,000
<font color="#c10020">Zombie virus outbreak in Guthrie, OH! ... nobody cares.</font>

9
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:45,000
<font color="#007d34">@szvan LIke this one? http://t.co/UfUMKXCI</font>

10
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:46,000
<font color="#808080">So far, this is the most reading I've ever done in a zombie movie</font>

11
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:48,000
<font color="#c10020">EMPs detonated? Why?</font>

12
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,000
<font color="#00ff00">Ooh. I haven't seen effects like this since War Games!</font>

13
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:53,000
<font color="#a6bdd7">Done with night class! Too late for?!</font>

14
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:57,000
<font color="#ffffff">@blakestacey Nobody even NOTICES, actually.</font>

15
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:07,000
<font color="#c10020">"Six months later, the events we actually have the budget to show!"</font>

16
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:09,000
<font color="#593315">Whoops - totally forgot about the movie!  Have fun, gang!</font>

17
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:25,000
<font color="#c10020">Ving Rhames! "Feel that sting? That's the zombie virus fuckin' with you!"</font>

18
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:38,000
<font color="#808080">Eddie Steeples! Yes!</font>

19
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:59,000
<font color="#ffffff">And Gary Whatsisface That's In Everything Else! He rocks, I love him!</font>

20
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:16,000
<font color="#c10020">"Any food?" "No, but we found the mother lode of Slim Jims!"</font>

21
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:19,000
<font color="#00ff00">As our protagonists return from a month-long stay in the hills with their school backpacks....</font>

22
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:26,000
<font color="#808080">anyone else have that office max song stuck in their heads now? Cause I do</font>

23
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:29,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Hey, while you're in there, look for bottlecaps. We need currency for when we find our next shop."</font>

24
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:55,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh no! That zombie has a helmet! Headshots won't work on him!</font>

25
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:55,000
<font color="#c10020">No, just stand there outside of shelter while the zombies approach. I'm sure it'll work out for you!</font>

26
00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:02,000
<font color="#ff8000">@drskyskullMe too, and the grocery store calls.</font>

27
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:13,000
<font color="#593315">@brx0*sigh*</font>

28
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,000
<font color="#c10020">"Crap, I need to fire offscreen to reload!"</font>

29
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:31,000
<font color="#00ff00">Dude! No shooting off the rubber mask! That's just not kosher.</font>

30
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:45,000
<font color="#ffffff">NOOOO NOT GARY WHATSISFACE!!!</font>

31
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:45,000
<font color="#00ff00">Zombies do kosher, right?</font>

32
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:47,000
<font color="#c10020">Is it just inept direction which makes it not at all obvious that their escape routes are blocked, or something?</font>

33
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:47,000
<font color="#c10020">Hey, the competent people just showed up!</font>

34
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:48,000
<font color="#808080">@drskyskull @brx0You are missing some seriously amazing FX going on here</font>

35
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:04,000
<font color="#00ff00">Luckily, the zombies don't know that she doesn't know how to use that katana.</font>

36
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:23,000
<font color="#c10020">If Ving Rhames doesn't go medieval on a zombie with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch, I will be sorely disappointed.</font>

37
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:50,000
<font color="#c10020">Zombie survival tip #1: don't be too fucking stupid to run away.</font>

38
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:58,000
<font color="#808080">Note to self: you can kill a zombie with a sword. Just make sure you don't actually HIT the zombie with the sword</font>

39
00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:00,000
<font color="#ffffff">Twenty bucks says she never once cleans or sharpens that katana, and it doesn't get any blood on it either.</font>

40
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:15,000
<font color="#c10020">Uh-oh, silvery eyes - he must have been shocked by the Galactic Barrier!</font>

41
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:47,000
<font color="#ffffff">That's not a zombie! It's a Goa'ould!!~</font>

42
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:22,000
<font color="#ffffff">@blakestacey Oh dammit, you out-nerded me with the Star Trek reference.</font>

43
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:49,000
<font color="#c10020">"Stand up, spread your arms and legs. Don't worry, I was a TSA agent."</font>

44
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:55,000
<font color="#00ff00">"Just doin' a bite check." "Yeah, I'd bite him there."</font>

45
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:10,000
<font color="#00ff00">Yeah, she needs to die soon.</font>

46
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:50,000
<font color="#c10020">Sympathy level for blonde woman: 0.22 millifucksgiven.</font>

47
00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:02,000
<font color="#808080">Shit! Zombie geese!</font>

48
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:12,000
<font color="#ffffff">"How far to the docks?" "A day or two." "And Tipperary?" "Long way."</font>

49
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:16,000
<font color="#00ff00">Fun fact: Dead zombies never fall in heaps, always sprawls. It's the virus trying to make a getaway.</font>

50
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:18,000
<font color="#c10020">Filmed on location in Detroit!</font>

51
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:12,000
<font color="#ffffff">@Ben_TAF Act 3 has a zombie platypus. OOPS SPOILERS</font>

52
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:18,000
<font color="#c10020">"What's the deal with the arrow?" "Archers!" #headdesk</font>

53
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:41,000
<font color="#ffffff">"What's with the arrow?" "Archers." "And hey, what's with your sword?" "Samurai."</font>

54
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:11,000
<font color="#c10020">"Leave the dog!" "But I'm hungry!"</font>

55
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:14,000
<font color="#ffffff">"We can't take the dog with us." "Aww, but I wanted to call it Dogmeat!"</font>

56
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:56,000
<font color="#ffffff">Hey! HEY! That sign says One Way! Can't you read!?</font>

57
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:58,000
<font color="#808080">@lousycanuckPlatypus, maybe. But 5 bucks says that dog reappears and saves someone</font>

58
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:49,000
<font color="#c10020">"That's why we never go anywhere alone! Well, that and the Les Yay."</font>

59
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:29,000
<font color="#00ff00">Now we know why women go to the bathroom in groups, guys. Solve the zombie problem, solve that.</font>

60
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:41,000
<font color="#808080">peeing in the woods brings a sense of reality that even the hunger games didn't address. This is an A+ movie for sure</font>

61
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:51,000
<font color="#ffffff">Afro dude's monkey wrench seems grossly insufficient compared to the katana and sledgehammer.</font>

62
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:42,000
<font color="#c10020">You know what would help these characters? Characterization!</font>

63
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:55,000
<font color="#00ff00">Empty houses with no sign of break-in. No one goes for food. Are we sure they're not infected.</font>

64
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:29,000
<font color="#593315">@Ben_TAF @brx0Argh! I was afraid of that! :)</font>

65
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:18,000
<font color="#808080">No, see? We don't need to actually budget for broken glass in our movie, because now there's an app for that! I swear it looks real</font>

66
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:19,000
<font color="#c10020">I'm sorry, there's just no way breaking into a strip mall can look badass.</font>

67
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:22,000
<font color="#ffffff">Uh, did someone actually hit that Optical place with an explosive on the roof? And recently, considering the smoke?</font>

68
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:45,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Any humans here?" "Nope, just us zombies. And one Licker."</font>

69
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:25,000
<font color="#c10020">What are they trying to find here, cycling helmets?</font>

70
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:45,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Hey, while we're here and prepping, we should do some exercises. You know, increase our Strength stats."</font>

71
00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:01,000
<font color="#00ff00">Is one of them really going to break in new shoes while running from zombies?</font>

72
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:31,000
<font color="#808080">Upgrading from the wrench to the golf club. Good call</font>

73
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:10,000
<font color="#ffffff">And an upgrade for afro-dude. Yes, the nine-iron will work great up until you bend it over the first zombie skull you hit.</font>

74
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:21,000
<font color="#c10020">"What are we looking for?" "I was thinking, like, crocs?"</font>

75
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:08,000
<font color="#ffffff">Okay, bonus points for impaling a zombie with a hockey skate. Fuck yeah. TCB.</font>

76
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:09,000
<font color="#ffffff">Air horn as a zombie distraction? Well, I suppose it worked in Dead Nation.</font>

77
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:30,000
<font color="#c10020">Zombies are attracted to the noise of an air horn? OK, that was...random.</font>

78
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:37,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Guys, stop adding characterization. Let's go find a place that's safe."</font>

79
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:12,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh damn, I lost the bet. She sharpened the blade.</font>

80
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:54,000
<font color="#c10020">"Hey, as long as we're just chillaxin in a diner, anybody read that Neil Gaiman story about the guy with the ruby...?"</font>

81
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:56,000
<font color="#808080">Ooh! Ooh! Can we sit by the windows! It's soooo pretty outside</font>

82
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:47,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Found it." "What?" "Civilization." "What is it?" "When humanity bands together to improve one another's lot. But first, spaghetti."</font>

83
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:02,000
<font color="#00ff00">It's a good thing the utilities are still working in the absence of any people so they can cook their pasta.</font>

84
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:27,000
<font color="#808080">They lit a candle. At another table. Really? *sigh*</font>

85
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:46,000
<font color="#ffffff">So Catalina's the MacGuffin that'll never turn out to be true.</font>

86
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:32,000
<font color="#00ff00">We have now reached the point in the movie where we think we've had enough blood. Now to make you care about the characters.</font>

87
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:34,000
<font color="#ffffff">"You can mess with me, but not my horse." That's my Ving Rhames! <3</font>

88
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:06,000
<font color="#c10020">Wow, Blonde-Lady is astonishingly unobservant of conversational moods.</font>

89
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:24,000
<font color="#c10020">"Have you lost anyone?" "Just everyone I grew up with."</font>

90
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:35,000
<font color="#ffffff">Ohh, he's the brooding loner. Ergo the protagonist.</font>

91
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:06,000
<font color="#ffffff">@szvan Sorry, that's going to take more than this movie has to offer.</font>

92
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:35,000
<font color="#c10020">@szvan Funny how they're doing it in exactly the wrong order, isn't it?</font>

93
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:51,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh noes, Dogmeat is a zombie!</font>

94
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:56,000
<font color="#ffffff">Dogmeat was actually really ineffective as a zombie. He barked and barked until the lady with the katana came out to hit him.</font>

95
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:14,000
<font color="#808080">Okay, so I got the dog part, was wrong about saving someone. I call that a wash. Am now truly hopefully for zombie platypi</font>

96
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:51,000
<font color="#ffffff">Wait, Afro dude took a hockey stick instead? Damn but this is my kinda movie!</font>

97
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:15,000
<font color="#808080">"Wait, what was with the arrows again?" "Archers" "Oh yeah"</font>

98
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:42,000
<font color="#ffffff">This katana has got to be the best sword ever. Beheading that dude by waving it in front of him was AWESOME.</font>

99
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:17,000
<font color="#808080">I'm confused, why wouldn't an 8 foot fence be impervious to zombies?</font>

100
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:39,000
<font color="#00ff00">Who knew he was only holding on by the front centimeter of his throat?</font>

101
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:59,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Where is everyone?" "If we're lucky, barricaded inside." "If we're unlucky?" "Archers."</font>

102
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:14,000
<font color="#c10020">Wondering what zombified household pets we'll see by the end. Who wants to start a pool?</font>

103
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:39,000
<font color="#00ff00">@blakestaceyIf by funny you mean "sadly predictable", then, why, yes!</font>

104
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:17,000
<font color="#c10020">"Smells really bad in here." "I'm guessing cafeteria meatloaf."</font>

105
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:41,000
<font color="#ffffff">"They're here." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, they're here." "Uh, you didn't specify what you meant by ?they'. Sooo... zombies."</font>

106
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:58,000
<font color="#808080">@lousycanuckSeriously though, you should refer to him by his given name "Rubberband Man" http://t.co/cpgZSp9T</font>

107
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:24,000
<font color="#ffffff">A zombie ambush! ZOMG! Or, I guess, ZOMB!"</font>

108
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:35,000
<font color="#c10020">Zombies. The only thing which could have made high-school gym class worse.</font>

109
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:57,000
<font color="#00ff00">Come on. We all know they won't find survivors. That would mean paying for more speaking roles.</font>

110
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:22,000
<font color="#ffffff">Luckily these guys entered the infinite ammo cheat early on.</font>

111
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:36,000
<font color="#808080">@blakestaceyI'm holding out for zombified house plants. I got my money on Fawn of the Dead</font>

112
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:46,000
<font color="#00ff00">I would like to take this moment to thank the cinematographers who refused to dwell on the zombie makeup.</font>

113
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:57,000
<font color="#c10020">Zombie cheerleader? Sounds like an escapee from a music video, more than anything else.</font>

114
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:34,000
<font color="#00ff00">Awww. They got Paul Ruebens to reprise his role from Buffy!</font>

115
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:15,000
<font color="#ffffff">"There was a zombie so I killed it." "Yes. That's what you do with zombies. Good girl."</font>

116
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:02,000
<font color="#c10020">Geez, they're ineffective at rescuing people. Like, not even trying.</font>

117
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:15,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Who cares if they were hiding? You have infinite fucking ammo! Just kill the assholes!"</font>

118
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:33,000
<font color="#808080">I'd believe you tried everything to save him if only your sword wasn't so damned clean</font>

119
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:37,000
<font color="#c10020">"Where's Billy?" "Where we left him. Couldn't be arsed, really."</font>

120
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:55,000
<font color="#ffffff">"I don't talk as much as you do." OHHHH SNAP. Y'all just got SERVED.</font>

121
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:51,000
<font color="#ffffff">Hey look, they got to reuse the set from Lost.</font>

122
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:07,000
<font color="#808080">"I know you lost your friend to zombies, but I lost my brush!" #FirstWorldZombieProblems</font>

123
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:15,000
<font color="#00ff00">Wow, when she puts her hand up to her face, you can really see how pale they made her face.</font>

124
00:42:55,000 --> 00:43:01,000
<font color="#c10020">"I'm tired of having perfect hair in this dismal wasteland!"</font>

125
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:20,000
<font color="#ffffff">I don't want much. Small house. Garden for tomatoes. A tank that shoots sharks with legs."</font>

126
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:24,000
<font color="#808080">"I miss my horse. If only there was a way to bring him back from the de- OH MY GOD GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF A GREAT IDEA!!!"</font>

127
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:26,000
<font color="#00ff00">"I don't want to die like my friends." "Yeah, um, about that...say, let's get the map."</font>

128
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:25,000
<font color="#808080">That's right they can be worse! You just wait till those zombie geese come back!</font>

129
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:37,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Look at that." "Things could be a lot worse. Catalina could turn out to be a time-traveling island and we end up in purgatory."</font>

130
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:43,000
<font color="#00ff00">"Maybe we're going the wrong way." "You think? You don't recognize these houses?"</font>

131
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:03,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Could be the archers. Should we help ?em?" "Hey, we're all melee class."</font>

132
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:11,000
<font color="#c10020">"Look at that!" "Yep, definitely Photoshopped."</font>

133
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:42,000
<font color="#ffffff">@szvan "Yeah, maybe we're going in circles. I mean, I've seen the same zombie three times now!"</font>

134
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:35,000
<font color="#ffffff">Okay, Bald Hawkeye is pretty cool.</font>

135
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:47,000
<font color="#00ff00">Because, you know, only white guys can be archers. Or something.</font>

136
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:41,000
<font color="#c10020">"Come with me if you want to live! ... Sorry, always wanted to say that, you know?"</font>

137
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:41,000
<font color="#ffffff">Big ribbed guy is so obviously there to provide Ving Rhames with an appropriate challenge.</font>

138
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:50,000
<font color="#808080">Oh snap! Ving Rhames just got out Ving Rhamesed by Zombine Ving Rhames.</font>

139
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:10,000
<font color="#00ff00">"Distract him. I've got a plan. I'll go serendipitously find a chainsaw."</font>

140
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:15,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh hells yessss! Ving Rhames with a CHAINSAW!</font>

141
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:09,000
<font color="#ffffff">I kinda don't care that the big guy was obviously there to challenge Ving Rhames, and the chainsaw obviously a plot device.</font>

142
00:49:54,000 --> 00:50:00,000
<font color="#ffffff">Considering how he fared in the Of The Deads, I hope like hell Ving Rhames demanded that he survive this one.</font>

143
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:24,000
<font color="#ffffff">"God damn, these archers are hot. Yeah, even Bald Hawkeye."</font>

144
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:30,000
<font color="#c10020">Just think, because of *this* *movie,* countless young women are taking up archery!!</font>

145
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:42,000
<font color="#00ff00">@blakestaceyThanks to Myrah, so are countless young men.</font>

146
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:31,000
<font color="#808080">@blakestaceytwitter fails to let me express my approval of that comment with a whistle and 3 fingered salute</font>

147
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:51,000
<font color="#ffffff">Bald Hawkeye probably took a big pay cut from his recurring role in Leverage.</font>

148
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:07,000
<font color="#808080">I don't think that wiring was up to code</font>

149
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:36,000
<font color="#c10020">So, the third act of the movie brings in the aliens?</font>

150
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:37,000
<font color="#ffffff">The meteor-that-caused-the-zombie-infestation is a little behind schedule in this movie.</font>

151
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:37,000
<font color="#c10020">You know shit just got real when ammo *finally* becomes a problem.</font>

152
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:10,000
<font color="#0000ff">@lousycanuckIs the movie set in Texas?</font>

153
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:42,000
<font color="#ffffff">Are they expecting to, what, swim to Catalina?</font>

154
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:03,000
<font color="#808080">@blakestaceyThey just need to pull the trigger while aiming off screen, right?</font>

155
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:07,000
<font color="#c10020">And coming up the other way is John Connor on a motorcycle...</font>

156
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:43,000
<font color="#808080">So much for that whole "Anyone who can safely retrieve an arrow, do so" thing.</font>

157
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:58,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh holy crap it's the sewer things from GTA: San Andreas!</font>

158
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:27,000
<font color="#c10020">Damn. Why couldn't we have been following the archers this whole time?</font>

159
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:55,000
<font color="#808080">Dude! Rule #2 of zombieland, avoid the bathrooms!</font>

160
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:48,000
<font color="#ffffff">Hey, how does one keep their feathered anime-style hair looking so great during the zombie apocalypse?</font>

161
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:17,000
<font color="#00ff00">"Oh, the dead ones distract them. Except, you know, when they don't."</font>

162
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:30,000
<font color="#ffffff">Surprising nobody, a zombie in the port-a-potty. Surprising everyone, a zombie that can tackle.</font>

163
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:34,000
<font color="#c10020">"Hey, I wonder if this van has gas and keys?"</font>

164
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:59,000
<font color="#808080">It's official! That sledgehammer scene just made the entire movie worth watching.</font>

165
01:01:55,000 --> 01:02:01,000
<font color="#c10020">It's...neat how the likeability and competence of the humans we've met increases for each set of new arrivals.</font>

166
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:20,000
<font color="#ffffff">Oh Ving Rhames. I want to be... your... Sledge hammer. Dun dun. Why don't you call my name.</font>

167
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:35,000
<font color="#0000ff">@lousycanuckWell-conditioned hair is a natural defense against zombies.  Everybody knows that...</font>

168
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:46,000
<font color="#808080">Why, hello there, grenade launcher! #YouHaveMyAttention</font>

169
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:28,000
<font color="#ffffff">No no, you're not supposed to show you got bit. You're supposed to hide it til you're about to turn for dramatic tension.</font>

170
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:31,000
<font color="#ffffff">The drama and interpersonal characterization makes me think I'm watching Zombie: 90210.</font>

171
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:34,000
<font color="#00ff00">I've never met a glowing virus before.</font>

172
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:36,000
<font color="#ffffff">Hey, um, are you really trying to strangle the zombified Julian? Really?</font>

173
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:47,000
<font color="#c10020">Well, that scene went on for quite a while after I was, "JUST STAB HIM ALREADY!"</font>

174
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:25,000
<font color="#00ff00">"What do we do?" "We've got a chain gun. Let's run away from it!"</font>

175
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:27,000
<font color="#ffffff">Anime-hair archer is really broken up about this. EMOTE, LADY! EMOTE!</font>

176
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:07,000
<font color="#c10020">Super slo-mo!!</font>

177
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:18,000
<font color="#ffffff">Okay, that's really a mini-gun on a shopping cart. I just got independent verification of this.</font>

178
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:24,000
<font color="#808080">I see the director wanted his Mustang in the shot. "Yeah, I'll just pull it up onto the curb all post-apocalyptic like"</font>

179
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:19,000
<font color="#00ff00">That's it. We're definitely running around in circles now.</font>

180
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:36,000
<font color="#ffffff">Either that was the Holy Hand Grenade, or cars in this universe blow up identically to those in the Fallout universe. #mininuke</font>

181
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:49,000
<font color="#808080">Oh, well then. That is *exactly* how an 8 foot fence can help against zombies. I retract my earlier question</font>

182
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:22,000
<font color="#c10020">"... and then, the Army decided to nuke the city. The End." #notreallybutIneedtotakeabathroombreak</font>

183
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:50,000
<font color="#ffffff">Luckily Ving Rhames' telescopic vision can make out that the light-flashing is the other team.</font>

184
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:15,000
<font color="#808080">I love how bullet casings are falling out on the left side while the bullets on the feeder side aren't moving #GeniusFX</font>

185
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:18,000
<font color="#ffffff">Wheeled vehicle with a minigun on it = NO KICKBACK AT ALL.</font>

186
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:50,000
<font color="#ffffff">"This way! Leave the minigun, it's useless!"</font>

187
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:30,000
<font color="#c10020">Again, the dead distract them, until they don't.</font>

188
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:40,000
<font color="#ffffff">Weren't runner zombies supposed to be rare?</font>

189
01:13:55,000 --> 01:14:01,000
<font color="#808080">Seriously, though. What *can't* carabiners hold back?</font>

190
01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:26,000
<font color="#c10020">"I think we're going to be OK." "And I think you should stop tempting fate."</font>

191
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:54,000
<font color="#00ff00">"Yeah, sure. You cared about your friend but not mine. I'm going to wander off and become zombie fodder now."</font>

192
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:04,000
<font color="#ffffff">"So you guys are the archers, huh?" "What gave us away?"</font>

193
01:15:11,000 --> 01:15:17,000
<font color="#c10020">Wait, the blonde is still in the movie? I'd forgotten.</font>

194
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:05,000
<font color="#808080">Oh shit! Here come the zombie flies!</font>

195
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:37,000
<font color="#c10020">"Zombies didn't do this. It was ... raptors."</font>

196
01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:18,000
<font color="#00ff00">Because it isn't really a movie until you bring in the zombie tiger.</font>

197
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:06,000
<font color="#00ff00">Zombie tigers have much, much thicker skulls than humans, doncha know, but at least they can't swim?</font>

198
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:13,000
<font color="#ffffff">Fuck yeah! ZOMBIE TIGER! #bossfight</font>

199
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:30,000
<font color="#c10020">Stab it with the arrows you're carrying?</font>

200
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:37,000
<font color="#808080">that must be one deep watered dock</font>

201
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:11,000
<font color="#ffffff">Okay, melee class, stay back. Support will try to hold him in place and Archers DPS. Ving Rhames, be awesome.</font>

202
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:23,000
<font color="#ffffff">Ving Rhames: "LEEEROY JENKINS!"</font>

203
01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:37,000
<font color="#00ff00">For all the blood they spent on this movie, they couldn't use a little more for someone bleeding out?</font>

204
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:47,000
<font color="#ffffff">"Meow, bitch." *throat gouge* "Well then. Now I'm dead."</font>

205
01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:50,000
<font color="#c10020">If this entire movie had been Ving Rhames and Anime Archer Girl, I would have paid for this movie. True's true.</font>

206
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:09,000
<font color="#ffffff">Luckily, the sledgehammer was actually Mjollnir.</font>

207
01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:31,000
<font color="#808080">@lousycanuckSrsly, but how can he be expected to tank with all these keyboard turnin' n00bs? amirite?</font>

208
01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:43,000
<font color="#ffffff">@blakestaceyYeah. Ditto. For serious.</font>

209
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:46,000
<font color="#c10020">Uh, from that sound, did he just...squirt?</font>

210
01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:06,000
<font color="#ffffff">Every time I see Anime Archer, I think "BANGARANG"</font>

211
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:31,000
<font color="#c10020">"Kiss my husband...now that that sexy, sexy complication was removed..."</font>

212
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:50,000
<font color="#00ff00">And the movie ends with the least plausible bit yet. The boat from the zombie-free island returned to the mainland.</font>

213
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:30,000
<font color="#808080">So many unanswered questions! Like, what about the geese? And, was the pasta any good?</font>

214
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:31,000
<font color="#c10020">Cast: Ving Rhames ... and some other people. Really, you didn't care. Why should we?</font>

215
01:24:55,000 --> 01:25:01,000
<font color="#c10020">Aww, the zombie dog got a credit. That's so...cute...or something...</font>

216
01:25:20,000 --> 01:25:26,000
<font color="#ffffff">There was actually a boat! Well I'll be damned.</font>

217
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:42,000
<font color="#c10020">"Any similarity to actual persons, living or undead...oh come on, you *knew* we'd go there."</font>

218
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:35,000
<font color="#c10020">I'm wondering if we can deduce from ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE some general SyFy rules of storytelling.</font>

219
01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:27,000
<font color="#c10020">e.g., "First, gore. Second, unlikeable, incompetent characters. Third, somewhat more competent characters."</font>

220
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:50,000
<font color="#c10020">"For budgetary reasons, save anyone the audience might care about until the third act."</font>

221
01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:51,000
<font color="#808080">Just had to go watch it again 1:13:05 where the bullets don't move while being shot from the minigun on a shopping cart. Classic!</font>

222
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:59,000
<font color="#ffffff">So Ving Rhames opted with the "kill me at the end of the movie but make it a noble death, after some one-liners involving ?bitch'".</font>

223
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:12,000
<font color="#808080">I say we just go straight into tearing apart "The Zombie Apocalypse" from 2008 that I see suggested in my netflix queue</font>

224
01:29:38,000 --> 01:29:44,000
<font color="#c10020">"And remember, Ving Rhames sledgehammering a zombie tiger is your money shot."</font>

225
01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:55,000
<font color="#ffffff">So two weeks from now is Night of the Demon, the yeti flick on Youtube.</font>

226
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:32,000
<font color="#ffffff">I want to put In The Year 2889 at the end of the queue. We could try to put The Zombie Apocalypse (2008) after that. @Ben_TAF</font>

227
01:33:56,000 --> 01:34:02,000
<font color="#808080">@lousycanuckNo no! Just a timely crack. There are far more worthy movies of our scorn :)</font>

228
01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:41,000
<font color="#c10020">It's weirdly tragic how these SyFy original movies could have been so much better if the right people had cared...</font>

229
01:35:56,000 --> 01:36:02,000
<font color="#c10020">... they could have made a better movie with half as many actors (and a, you know, screenwriter).</font>

230
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:11,000
<font color="#808080">@lousycanuckFunny how normally I'd be embarrassed if a movie I suggested wasn't good. Here, I'm worried it might be too good..</font>

231
01:39:09,000 --> 01:39:15,000
<font color="#c10020">Thanks for the fun, everybody! And join us two weeks from now, same Mock-time, same Mock-channel!</font>

232
01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:30,000
<font color="#ff8000">@Ben_TAF @lousycanuckThere are several 80s Richard Harrison ninja movies on the youtubes if anyone's up for that. CC: @drskyskull</font>

233
01:39:59,000 --> 01:40:05,000
<font color="#593315">@brx0 @ben_taf @lousycanuck @mocktm YYYYYESSSSSS!!!</font>

234
01:40:22,000 --> 01:40:28,000
<font color="#c10020">And our consolations go to @drskyskull, who was apparently pinned down by cats the wholesession and unable to tweet.</font>

235
01:40:31,000 --> 01:40:37,000
<font color="#ffffff">@brx0Oh yes, I am up for it. The further ahead we plan these movies, the more likely it stays biweekly!</font>

236
01:41:04,000 --> 01:41:10,000
<font color="#808080">@brx0 @lousycanuck@drskyskull Frankenstein, zombie, yeti, cannibals, ninja. I'd say I approve of that progression</font>

237
01:42:04,000 --> 01:42:10,000
<font color="#593315">@blakestaceyThey are evil!!!</font>

238
01:43:05,000 --> 01:43:11,000
<font color="#ffffff">The lesson for this movie: Ving Rhames is awesome. That is all.</font>

239
01:44:18,000 --> 01:44:24,000
<font color="#808080">@lousycanuckAnd apparently we'll have to start spamming twitter well in advance to make sure @brx0 and @drskyskull show up, too</font>

240
01:44:45,000 --> 01:44:51,000
<font color="#c10020">And therein lies the tragedy. "OK, we're making a movie where Ving Rhames bludgeons zombies. Now, let's make it boring."</font>

241
01:46:13,000 --> 01:46:19,000
<font color="#ff8000">@lousycanuck It's basically the Netflix queue from hell.  I'm already looking forward to the Shark Week.</font>