Holy crap, am I behind on the Mock The Movie. Let me catch up right-quick-like.
I’m somewhat behind on everything after the effort put into Skeptech, and my days are going to be filled for the foreseeable future with fights against Heartbleed. So, no witticisms here. I’m kinda spent at the moment. I’ll get the transcripts and SRTs up on the page as soon as I can, I promise.
Got two transcripts to upload today. One’s silly, one’s serious.
First, of course, the DEADLY SERIOUS one. If you’ve ever seen Road House, you must know just how 80s over-the-top action it is. It was actually hard to sit through in a few spots because it was so disconnected from reality. By the time the monster truck rolls over some unrelated schmoe’s automotive dealership, you’ll be hard pressed to think of it as a coherent movie so much as someone’s cinematographic bucket list.
A short note from Sylvia Broeckx alerted me this morning to the existence of this fundraiser, and I thought you might be interested yourselves.
We’ve made a film about atheists in the USA and it’s from the perspective of everyday atheists, dealing with the aspects of life where religions provide solace and guidance such as morality, raising a family, and coping with tragedy.
But, what’s the point of making a film that presents atheism in a positive light, if it doesn’t get seen by lots of people that aren’t already atheists?
We have less than 48 hours to raise the funds to help get this film to into festivals and reach a wider, non-atheist, audience. We are getting close, but could really do with your help to spread the word about the campaign. It can really help make quite the difference.
The teaser trailer should tell you everything you need to know about this effort:
The Indiegogo fundraiser is at $2696, having met its original goal of $2500. But submitting the film to most film festivals costs a lot of money and there’s no guarantee it’ll get accepted thereafter, so I’d encourage that if you have spare cash to throw at such an effort, please do keep submitting!
I’ll admit it — I can’t resist a movie with “Colon The Movie” in the title. This was a “quality” schlocky horror film from the late 80s, and it sure tasted like it. Moving to the monthly cycle seems to have reinvigorated our participation base, too — seems once every two weeks was too much for even our hardiest stalwarts. Watch this especially for the SCIENCE!!! that happens involving some sorta science goo that can explode on moisture, taken into the sewers for no particular reason.
February 5th, we mock Road House. We’ll see how well the stalwarts do while getting roundhouse-kicked repeatedly.
Holy crap, look what we found. This is our second-ever Mock The Movie, which, counting the do-over of Sands of Oblivion, means we have every single Mock The Movie transcript! Thanks again to CA7746 for reparsing the original logs into something useable for the web and for subtitle files. They’ll be added to the main page shortly.
We were originally going to mock Brain Twisters, a hacksploitation classic, but Hulu pulled the movie the week before we were going to mock. That, coupled with the fact that we’d begun scheduling Mock The Movie for the first Wednesday of every month after realizing our core participation was experiencing something like mockery burn-out, and we had to start spacing it out a bit more.
The replacement that Stephanie picked out from the Youtube public domain archives was a grand choice, quite frankly. A movie with Lon Chaney as a monster, mediocre acting, but just enough of a plot that we could poke holes in it and pacing such that we weren’t particularly bored trying to do it. I think this movie hit a lot of our sweet spots. And there was some new blood in the mockery mix! Welcome aboard, folks!
Next movie up is Slugs: The Movie on New Year’s Day. Check out the calendar and past transcripts (provided by the ineffable CompulsoryAccount7746 as always) right here. Here. CLICK HERE. GODS JUST CLICK ALREADY.
Til now, I’ve had little interest in reading or watching The Hunger Games, having suffered through one too many kids-having-to-hurt-each-other dystopian sci-fi novels and movies. If you want to get me interested in the franchise, you’d have to remake it something like this.
Cookieness Evereat. Hah.
Both Stephanie and I missed out on this one for various reasons. Looks like participation was exceptionally thin — only three stalwarts mocked this movie. We’re moving our mockery to a once-a-month schedule to help mitigate some of the burn-out we may be experiencing, and it’s looking like presently it will be first Wednesday of every month unless people would like to suggest a better time.
I’m also adding Slugs: The Movie, and Road House, to the mocking list. And I’m going to upload, finally, the last several Subtitle files to the archive page, provided, as always, by CA7746.
Imagine Castlevania in movie form, combined with The Exorcist and a smattering of Blade. Then take away all the awesome bits, waste your CG budget on the least-interesting and least-useful bits of the movie, and make sure your action scenes are nigh unfollowable. Dip it repeatedly in Jesus until well saturated. Ensure all the bad guys are easily killed, even — and especially — the Big Bad. Cast the one guy with acting chops in a supporting character role, and make him do ridiculous quasi-Anime things like building in having to make an X sign when using special weapons. And there you have it — The Cloth.