Fuck you, Michael Bay.
Just, fuck you.
Written with misandrists in mind, with a Baldwin brother playing the greasy manbaby primary antagonist and a Boss Hogg wannabe playing the secondary antagonist, this 1993 made-for-TV movie with Daryl Hannah was a vehicle for more self-aware yet still vague references to feminism than one could shake a stick at. And it gets very little of it particularly right, save for actually passing the Bechdel test and having the full spectrum of protagonist through antagonist in female characters.
Doesn’t help, though, that there was not a shred of remotely plausible science in it. Nor that the one likeable character — who actually ends up on top at the end, and not even stuck in an alien space ship like the protagonist — was written poorly enough that any goodwill won in the initial scenes were quickly squandered at the hands of her being enamoured with the aforementioned greasy manbaby. And the other character with a shot at being even remotely likeable, the deputy, was written as a credulous hayseed.
Ah well. It was a fun (in its way) romp regardless. Still mockable, but could be enjoyed as-is, as a camp classic.
We’re raising funds again for Geek Girl Con’s DIY Science Zone, where last year I taught kids about randomness, and had a neat graph making program and everything. This year, I’ll be doing a demonstration on displacement, buoyancy and surface tension, involving tin foil boats and gummy fish. And I won’t even be eating all the fish myself!
But before I can get there, we need to raise funds for the materials. So, we’re, as usual, doing Acts of Whimsey, which means doing ridiculous things when we reach certain goals. Because we hit $500 of our required $6000 almost instantly, my first Act of Whimsey is doing a live-mocking, solo, of Crossroads. The 2002 Britney Spears vehicle, not the Ralph Macchio film, sadly.
Superman and Hercules square off in a battle of who can be the biggest asshole straw-atheist in this blockbuster that likely resulted in no appreciable increase in text messages despite the imploring at the end to text all your friends.
We watched this on April Fool’s Day. Yes, that was intentional.
Oh yeah, and dude from Duck Dynasty is in it because… uh… JEEEEZUS
CA7746 was building a transcript-generator for the web interface to supplement my Python-based Twitter scraper a while back, for when things go sideways and the API can’t deliver the script any more, and while I was doing my catch-up on Mock The Movie stuff and read CA’s email on the matter, he mentioned that he managed to grab a transcript of Blake Stacey’s mocking of Star Trek Into Darkness. So, here it is! Huzzah for Blake! You poor sod.
I couldn’t make this mocking, but I remember it being eminently mockable when Jodi and I had watched it hoping for a good fantasy movie a few years back. The rogues who made it did not disappoint. Watch especially if you like seeing Jason Statham wearing a burlap sack for two hours.