Hilariously awful Christian End Times movie – title needed

Who says Christians aren’t capable of taking their mythos and creating true works of art?

Yes, this film looks like what would happen if you took Mad Max, Fallout, Star Wars and the Bible and stuck them in a blender. Yes, there’s a multitude of mullets. Yes, the laser effects are absolute crap, and the laser light show gratuitous. Yes, that guy should have actually shot after turning his gun on the warlord. Yes, this looks like an absurdly high budget for your average Jesusification of a genre movie. Yes, I have no idea why I’m itemizing things here.

I guess I’m saying I need to see this because it looks Nineties-riffic. Does anyone know the title of this, that is obviously someone’s magnum opus?

Found at Everything Is Terrible.


  1. says

    This is amazeballs! I’m glad to be an atheist if this is what I have to look forward to post-rapture. Freaking laser beams just shooting off at random and getting to wear cool hats! Looks all good to me

  2. Some Old Programmer says

    When the cheesy tunes kicked in halfway in, I could’ve sworn it would turn out to be a Dr. Pepper commercial…

  3. Jackie, Ms. Paper if ya nasty says

    I once had a youth minister who collected cheesy Christian pamphlets, tracts etc., purely for the comic value. He would love this film.

  4. CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain says

    The song is “It’s Time” by Wayne Watson

    I think the above was only a clip from his music video.
    Torgon chanting starts at 3:07.

    According to the singer’s wikipedia page, that was made in 1994.

  5. sinned34 says

    I’m disappointed I don’t recall that video from my Christian days. Mind you, if it came out in 1994, I was pretty darned close to leaving the church at that point. I’d already dropped out of the Master’s Commission bible study and was listening to Tool’s “Undertow” album and liking it way too much.

    Between my love for heavy metal music, Dungeons and Dragons, and science, I guess I was just too nerdy to stay a Christian.

    Also, even in the early 1990’s, secular entertainment was bad enough, and the Christian media (of which this is an almost perfect example, trust me) was almost unbearably hideous. We had to pretend to love it or we got kicked out of youth group, I swear.

  6. patricksimons says

    Well……..it isn’t as if it takes much to impress the ‘end times’ crowd in the first place. They are not part of a fact driven society.

  7. F [is for failure to emerge] says

    But… why would you even need the blender?

    Marc: I dunno, I think crumping for Jesus tops rapping. Just because.

  8. clamboy says

    I’m sorry to post something unrelated, but are you receiving news of the reborn bug? That is, when one seeks to go to the main FtB page, one is directed to a minimal (splash) page? I have tried it from several blogs (B&W, Pharyngula, Avicenna, others), and I am getting the same thing. I insist that you make this free content properly available, tout suite! Harumph!

  9. CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain says

    @clamboy #9:

    when one seeks to go to the main FtB page, one is directed to a minimal (splash) page

    Look for a link in the bottom-left, then click it and repeat: “Switch to our mobile site” / “Switch to our desktop site”.
    Ignore a similar-looking link in the bottom-center, if present.

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