CONvergence: The Horror In Clay »« The Rappin’ Bible

CONvergence: Rebecca Watson ruins everything

I noticed something shortly after the very well-received Don’t Feed the Trolls panel at CONvergence’s SkepchickCON, once ZOMGItsCriss posted the video. People who otherwise have never seen the level of anti-Watson hatred that her mere existence incurs, were surprised and angered by the fact that the comments on Criss’ video largely ignored the fact that there were five other panelists present. As such, Watson only comprised a smallish fraction of the discussion — and yet, some folks’ comments ran along the line of “why would I listen to That Skepchick bitch whine hysterically about nothing for an hour? She should get raped so she loosens up, the prude whore.” (This is, of course, a composite of real comments on that video. Edit: For skeptics of this exceptional claim, like “…” in the comments, click this to see a Youtube comment that’s very, VERY similar.)

That sort of shit was exactly our point, and it appears to have catalyzed at least one bystander to radicalize against that sort of trolling.

The last night I spent in Minneapolis, Skepchick Kammy held a barbecue at her place for the participants of the SkepchickCON track. At one point, Kammy’s son pressganged his parents into moving the attendees into their driveway so they could set off the remainder of the fireworks (left over from the celebration a few days prior, when Minnesotans celebrate Three Days After Canada Day in a sweet, but odd, gesture to your neighbors to the north). We pulled our chairs out from their back yard and set them up to watch the firework display, and I found myself setting my chair up near enough to Watson to pronounce loudly:

“Well, I was really looking forward to seeing this firework display, but now that I’m stuck here next to Rebecca Watson, it’s just ruined for me. I mean, who wants to listen to her sit quietly for an hour?”

She made a pouty face and picked up her chair and shrank back into the background, behind some low branches of a nearby tree. “Nope, still ruined.”

Conversation quickly turned to other things she ruined, like that time she blew up the natives’ tree of life to get at the Unobtanium under it. Which you have to admit was a kinda douchy move on her part.

“Or you remember that time that she was on a rope bridge and pulled the heart right out of that guy’s chest and ate it? ‘Kali mas!'”, offered one anonymous participant whose initials are RW.

So what other experiences do you folks have with Rebecca Watson ruining things?

(Side bets on how long ’til trolls appear?)

Comments

  1. jenniferphillips says

    I, for one, will hate Rebecca forever for kidnapping Melody Pond as an infant and programming her to assassinate The Doctor. WHY IS SHE SO EEEEEVIIIIIIL?

  2. Jon Hanson says

    In the beginning Rebecca Watson created the Universe. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

  3. ChasCPeterson says

    your anecdotes are not data.

    The point is that Schmebecca* Schmatson* ruins everything.

    Everything.

    *see what I did there? I made fun of her name by changing the initial consonants. See?

  4. says

    I started disliking her after the time when a guy said hello to her in an elevator, and she accused him of raping her and of being Hitler. I really started disliking her when she organized a Dawkins book burning, and tortured Stef Mcgraw to death.

  5. eNeMeE says

    All oil drilling was perfectly safe and awesome until Rebecca Watson accused it of being not safe enough for the participants.

  6. says

    Rebecca Watson made the Green Line on the Washington Metro derail last Friday evening. It’s only because she fails even at wanton destruction that nobody was hurt.

  7. Karen says

    Rebecca Watson was behind the formula for “New Coke”. I mean seriously, we all saw how badly that turned out!

  8. Kels says

    Cripes, #FTBullies can’t hold a candle to Rebecca Watson’s evil. Why, I heard she’s the main backer of Uwe Boll!

  9. Robert M. says

    Rebecca Watson invented skynet, plus she doesn’t have a real degree so she can’t contribute to science or technology.

  10. Karen says

    RW once used an article I sent to Skepchick, for “Skepchick Quickies”. This was before John W. Loftus explained just what those skepchicks meant by “Quickies”, *nudge nudge wink wink*. Now I feel so violated by the hypocrisy of Rebecca Watson!

  11. Mike de Fleuriot says

    Rebecca Watson did bad stuff to user profiles on the JREF forum once. But that was only a joke.

  12. says

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for global warming, the decline in pirates and the conspiracy trying to blame the pirate decline for the former.

  13. Loqi says

    Rebecca Watson kicked my dog. In her reproductive organs. You might say she kicked that bitch in the cunt.

  14. Ulgaa says

    I was set to have a perfectly miserable day, then I read something from Rebecca Watson and smiled. Ruined my miserable day completely.

  15. Pareidolius says

    No, no, no! She didn’t invent the designated hitter, she’s the Designated Hitler™ . . . . and she stole my penis . . . after she turned me into a newt.

  16. ladyh42 says

    Ugh, this is so not fair. I can’t think of anything worse than cancelling Firefly. Damn you Rebecca!

  17. Muz says

    She did the last uncredited rewrite on the script for The Phantom Menace.
    Guess which version introduced Jar Jar.

  18. woo_monster says

    Rebecca Watson has the technology to upload brains and make them run at SUPER-SPEED, but she won’t let anyone use it.

  19. 'Tis Himself says

    Rebecca Watson made me write my post #42 when Muz had already written something similar in post #38.

  20. kurt1 says

    I hated it, when Rebecca Watson invented inequality and Jesus, so that she had something to write about.

    “I was set to have a perfectly miserable day, then I read something from Rebecca Watson and smiled. Ruined my miserable day completely.”

    …oh, and this!

  21. LawnBoy says

    I like this – I had considered creating a @StrawRebecca Twitter account to say all the things people think she has said, but thought it would be a bad idea.

    @StrawRebecca said that being asked out for coffee was an attempted rape.

    @StrawRebecca said that most of the men in the atheist community are rapists.

    @StrawRebecca said that nothing in atheism is funny without her.

  22. Rip Steakface says

    She got us into a land war in Asia.

    She made me go against a Sicilian when death was on the line.

    She’s not left handed.

    She didn’t have fun storming the castle.

    She wouldn’t make a good Dread Pirate Roberts.

    I can keep going.

  23. fredsalvador says

    Whenever Rebecca Watson is mentioned, MRAs appear from the woodwork and I find myself faced with their bullshit.

    Effectively, Rebecca Watson ruined my entire internet.

  24. Brian says

    Rebecca Watson was recorded in a recently discovered frieze at Pompei, fondling Vesuvius with her man hating, anti-sex, femi-Stasi appendages. The frieze was dated to a short time before the fateful eruption.

  25. chigau (女性) says

    Rebecca Watson let Brian make the Howard the Duck remark before me.
    (also, my feet hurt)

  26. dexeron says

    Rebecca Watson once turned herself into a sandworm and hoarded ALL of the spice. For four THOUSAND years. Seriously, not cool, God-Empress.

  27. Lycanthrope says

    Rebecca Watson was responsible for the robocall scandal in Canada. Make the investigation public, Rebecca!

  28. Brian says

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for reheated food not having that freshness and texture of a freshly prepared meal.

  29. 'Tis Himself says

    Rebecca Watson made me want to poke my eye out with a sharp stick and then hid all the sticks.

  30. Wurmfood says

    Rebecca Watson put the toilet seat up simply so she could blame me for it.

    Who put the bomp in the bomp, bomp bomp? That’s right. Rebecca Watson.

  31. Mr.Kosta says

    Rebecca Watson is the real life inspiration of Cersei Lannister /game of thrones

    (jk, obviously)

  32. Eric P says

    Rebecca Watson designed and programmed the Microsoft Millennium Operating System, she’s worse than Hitler!

  33. A 'Nym Too says

    @hyperdeath – worse than that, she also gave birth to Steven Moffatt.

    Rebecca Watson wrote Windows Vista.

    Rebecca Watson ate my last spoonful of Cadbury’s chocolate-flavoured Philadelphia cheese.

    Rebecca Watson caused the recession

    Rebecca Watson made David Cameron PM of the UK.

    Rebecca Watson invented cinnamon.

    See, undeniably.evil. She makes Satan himself look like Elmo.

  34. Glia says

    Rebecca Watson read aloud from the Necronomicon at kindergarten story time, and now all the kids are running around shouting some sort of gibberish about Old Ones.

  35. says

    Rebecca Watson ruined Axl. And made Cobain kill himself. And killed Elvis (about a week ago). And that Nickelback thing, and invented Rickrolling after goatse.cx refused to work with her anymore.

  36. Cry4turtles says

    Rebecca Watson is single-handedly causing the drought in the midwest. She won’t even let it rain in Pennsylvania! I’ll curse her when I have to pay $10 for a dozen ears of corn. Blast!!!

  37. says

    Crap. Rebecca Watson tricked me into clicking on a link to a name I never heard before, and then I found myself at the HuffPo.

    Oh, wait. That was ChasCPeterson. But Rebecca probably put him up to it!

  38. SADunlap says

    Rebecca Watson drove Dennis Markuze insane then told him where all the atheist blogs were … including mine!

  39. Ouigui says

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for Rebecca Black and the “Friday” earworm of doom. Because they’re both named Rebecca. Duh.

  40. wholething says

    Saying “Watson, come here! I need you!” was Alexander Graham Bell’s biggest mistake. She invented the busy signal.

  41. Sharkey says

    The person who forced M. Night Shyamalan to make terrible movies was…

    Rebecca Watson! What a twist!

  42. Rabidtreeweasel says

    Rebecca loves contraversy and lends creedence to anythingthe she opposes therefore Religion.

  43. Ouigui says

    She Who Must Not Be Named has hidden away a bunch of Horcruxes to ensure that she lives forever. She was reincarnated in a coffee-cup shaped cauldron from the blood of an MRA. She commands an army of Man Eaters, and is particularly deadly with the spell Examina Privilegium.

  44. Loqi says

    Rebecca Watson is the reason I didn’t attend CONvergence. I just didn’t feel comfortable. In response, I made a t-shirt saying that I feel safe and welcome at this LAN party a few miles away from CONvergence.

  45. Onamission5 says

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for the 80’s christian hair band Stryper having a 25th anniversary.

    How *could* you?

  46. wholething says

    The NBA 24 second clock was supposed to speed up the game and increase scoring but in reality it allows the defense to ramp up its intensity for about 20 seconds forcing the offense to take bad shots which proves watsondidit.

  47. wholething says

    1. It is not necessary for an omnipotent being to allow suffering in a world.
    2. Rebecca Watson is omnipotent.
    3. There is suffering in this world.

    Thus Rebecca Watson allows unnecessary suffering and therefore is a sadist.

  48. Robert M. says

    @Brian Murtagh 188

    Why do you think Oscar lives in a trash can, child support took all his money.

  49. Muz says

    You know who was in the vicinity of Cadbury headquarters when they decided to shrink the Creme Egg?
    You guessed it!

  50. says

    Rebecca Watson sabotaged the Paris Peace talks between the Vietcong and the South Vietnamese so that Nixon would be elected. Then she convinced the Ayatollah to hold onto the hostages so Jimmy Carter would lose to Reagan.

    Oh, and she personally hunted the passenger pigeon to extinction.

  51. some bastard on the net says

    The rain today smells like fish.

    SHE’S EVERYWHERE! SHE’S EVERYWHERE! SHE’S EVERYWHERE!

  52. wholething says

    A few weeks ago, there was a storm with straight line winds that traveled from the mid-west to the east coast, causing much damage and electrical outages. The storm was the wake of Voldemort Watson riding her broom.

  53. Dexeron says

    Look at that Antelope driving a car! Nope! It’s just Rebecca Watson with another realistic taxidermized animal!

  54. Dexeron says

    Rebecca Watson gave the regional governors direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of Rebecca Watson.

  55. Midnight Rambler says

    Rebecca Watson is the real author of Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s all part of her plan to make women think men are creeps and sex is one big freakshow.

  56. Sandy says

    Rebecca Watson transformed the GOP from the party of Lincoln into its current constituency of panophobic bigots. And she’s responsible for popular confusion over the proper use of apostrophes. And she was in actuality the sole member of the Starland Vocal Band. And she was the CGI artist for “Birdemic”.

  57. NomadUK says

    Have you ever seen Rebecca Watson and Rupert Murdoch in the same place at the same time? Think about it….

  58. Robert M. says

    @Sandy 224

    Rebecca also did the make up for troll 2, was the acting coach for The Room, and wrote Showgirls.

  59. osmosis says

    Originally named Leah Harvey Oswatson, she totally shot JFK. And orchestrated 9/11. And has been broadcasting those messages into my head.

    REBECCA! WHAT IS THE FREQUENCY?!!

  60. Sili (I have no penis and I must jizz) says

    James says:
    July 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm ADT

    Scrappy Doo was her idea. Also his later incarnation Dawn Summers.

    I can’t decide if I should be glad or annoyed that the Internet is now so full that I will never an original idea any more. Purple cauliflower pyjamas.

    I blame Rebecca Watson.

  61. TonyInBatavia says

    I can’t usually eat burgers myself because my Rebecca Watson’s a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian.

  62. Sili (I have no penis and I must jizz) says

    Oh, wait. That was ChasCPeterson. But Rebecca probably put him up to it!

    Rebecca *is* Chas.

    It’s an anagram, dontyaknow.

  63. clamboy says

    Rebecca Watson sacked Trantor AND gave birth to The Mule!

    Rebecca Watson burned the libraries of Alexandria AND had the mob murder Hypatia ‘cos she (Hypatia) looked like that chick from ‘The Mummy’!

    Rebecca Watson killed Snape AND convinced what’s-her-name to appear in ‘DOOM’ instead of ‘Harry Potter and the sequel to “Harry Potter”‘!

    Rebecca Watson sold out Narnia to the Calormenes AND converted C.S. Lewis to Christianity!

  64. Sili (I have no penis and I must jizz) says

    Rebecca Watson created Rebecca Watson.

    Begat not created.
    Cunt of cunt. Twat of Twat. True cunt of true cunt.

    Ack. That actually hurt to type out.

  65. Sili (I have no penis and I must jizz) says

    I see I went into moderation. Good. Please just leave that poor attempt at ‘humour’ there. I can’t blame Watson for that lack of judgement.

  66. Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB] says

    Rebecca Watson is The Force. I’m in danger of turning into a feminazi if I continue using the Force. Seriously how can one perform a force choke with R.W. peering through the clouds?

  67. says

    I was just a boy when Rebecca Watson came to my village in her Blackhawk helicopters.
    She fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death.
    In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help.

    As quickly as she had come, Rebecca Watson was gone.

    It was on that day I put a jihad on her. And if you don’t believe it, then you’d better kill me now, because I’ll put a jihad on you, too.

  68. Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB] says

    Rebecca Watson created the car version of Voltron thereby ruining the awesome lion version.

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for bat nipples.

  69. Onamission5 says

    Rebecca Watson designed the student center coffee shop sign at my alma mater which read, “Expresso’s!” It’s also her fault that the sign has hung there for at least 15 years unchanged. Also her fault that apparently, English degrees from that college are worthless.

  70. claw says

    Rebecca Watson keeps flagging all of the Abridged anime series i watch on youtube for copyright violations.

    also, she can’t even purple. everyone can purple. why can’t she?

  71. Loqi says

    Rebecca Watson convinced Metallica to release St. Anger.

    Rebecca Watson convinced Justin Bieber to release music.

  72. Loqi says

    Rebecca Watson is the reason the “popcorn” button doesn’t work on any microwave in the history of microwaves.

  73. wholething says

    You know, my prostate gland wasn’t this large when I first heard the name “Rebecca Watson”.

  74. Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB] says

    Everything Kirk Cameron sez…its Rebecca Watsons fault.
    L Ron Hubbard is a pseudonym of Rebecca Watson.

  75. tonyinbatavia says

    @254, Mr.Kosta: It was Count Tyrone Rugen, the six-fingered man, that killed Iñigo Montoya’s father. Rebecca Watson birthed Tyrone.

  76. wholething says

    According to Presuppostionalism, Rebecca Watson cornered Kent Hovind in an elevator nine months before Eric was born.

  77. The prophet depicter says

    Damnit somebody at 133 beat me to it. Rebecca is the real reason that the Titanic sank. Tell everyone know.

  78. gary andrews says

    I saw RW at a coffee house. Later that day I found out I had AIDS. Two months later, I saw her at the same coffee house. Then I found out I had cancer. True story.

  79. F says

    Hi. This is my first my first session at Rebecca Watson Anonymous. My name is F, and Rebecca Watson ruined my life. I lost my job of 15 years, my wife of 20 years, and my two lovely children, and most of my friends. My relatives have disowned me. I now live below a highway overpass. I admit that I have a problem, that I need help, and I’m willing to hand my life over to a Higher Power. I’m ready to change, and to be a better person.

  80. Rawful le Mayo says

    Rebecca Watson burned down my grandfather’s village, in an event that for generations my family has known as The Watsoning.

  81. Happiestsadist says

    Rebecca Watson shares my first name, and historically this means I dislike her. But she is an exception, as she seems awesome, and now my worldview is shattered.

    Rebecca Watson made me no longer able to bleach and dye my hair amazing shades, so she could hog all the pretty hurr goodness.

    Rebecca Watson caused my kiwifruit allergy.

  82. Emske says

    Rebecca Watson keeps designing dastardly machines to destroy the tri-state area. She is also very mean to a very cute platypus secret agent.
    *Rebecca Watson evil incorporateeeed!*

  83. Twinarp says

    Rebecca Watson has a collection of pieces of The One True Cross. She uses them for firelighters.

  84. Tracy Young says

    I am pretty sure that it was Rebeccas’ fault that I had to have my first born baby induced…I blame her for the pain of labor also Damnit.

  85. mandrellian says

    @RebeccaWatson disengaged my Higgs field and now I’m a rapidly dissipating cloud of massless particles #rebeccaruinseverything

  86. Mr.Kosta says

    Rebecca Watson once beat the English army firing fireballs from her eyes and lightning bolts from her arse

    /Braveheart

  87. Happiestsadist says

    Rebecca Watson caused my salad dressing to first not come out, then to come out all over the damn tablecloth.

  88. says

    The letters in “REBECCA WATSON” form the anagram “WET CARBON CASE”! (I’m sure that given more time I could find more diabolical ones!)

  89. Akira MacKenzie says

    Rebecca also gave Ol’ Yellar rabies, dropped the dime on Anne Frank, shot Abraham, shot Martin, shot John, shot Spice World, and designed D&D 4th Editon.

    She’s a monster…. A MONSTER!!!

  90. Matty says

    Rebecca Watson shot Mr Burns and blamed it on Maggie. She shot JR, and she thought up making the one season of Dallas a dream to bring back Bobby. Finally she convinced Fox to cancel Family Guy twice and Futurama.

  91. cm's changeable moniker says

    Rebecca Watson wrote Freebird.

    Actually, she didn’t.

    She just made it go on so damn long.

  92. Twinarp says

    Everyone thinks Rebecca Watson is terrible, but she has the heart of a young girl.

    In a jar on her desk.

  93. koliedrus says

    A dolphin once splashed her at Sea World. She now hops on her broom yearly, flies to Taijii, Japan and forces the locals to perform blood sacrifice.

  94. tuibguy says

    Chuck Norris tried to stop Rebecca Watson but she got him a gig “write” for World Nut Daily and sapped all of his powers.

  95. Tigger_the_Wing says

    Rebecca Watson made my guts sensitive to gluten, and then she turned them vegetarian. #FTBullies #rebeccaruinseverything

  96. Sandy says

    Peter Gabriel got it wrong–Rebecca Watson is the mother of violence.

    Also, I heard if you chant her name three times in an elevator, she’ll appear and dispassionately ask you to cut it out.

  97. Tigger_the_Wing says

    Mr.Kosta

    Rebecca Watson’s only regret is not having a moustache to twirl it while she laughes evilly.

    And because of that, Rebecca Watson has made it difficult for almost everyone to grow a twirlable moustache.

  98. zmidponk says

    quarksparrow #322:

    When Rebecca Watson went back in time to 1990, she refused to destroy George Lucas.

    Because she was too busy persuading him to have another look at episodes 4, 5 and 6 and whispering ‘prequels’ in his ear. And guess who thought up Jar Jar Binks?

  99. Daniel Schealler says

    Rebecca Watson’s name means ‘Destroyer of Men’ when translated back to the original demon tongue.

    Rebecca Watson totally isn’t a misandrist – one of her friends is male!

    Rebecca Watson hates sunshine, kittens and puppies.

    Rebecca Watson killed Rue in the Hunger Games.

    Rebecca Watson stole my sweetroll.

    Rebecca Watson hunts and kills the homeless for sport.

    Rebecca Watson shot Bambi’s mum.

    Rebecca Watson started and led a civil war against Aslan.

    Rebecca Watson demanded the head of John the Baptist on a plate.

    Elizabeth Bathory was a vampire. In the modern age she has changed her name to ‘Rebecca Watson’.

    Rebecca Watson’s never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and hurt you (I shamelessly stole that idea from Greta Christina at #FTBullies, of course).

    Rebecca Watson talks at the theatre.

    Rebecca Watson axed Firefly after the first season. Also, she’s a purplebelly.

    Rebecca Watson only uses the 6-10 range when rating movies.

    Rebecca Watson intentionally uses bad kerning.

    Rebecca Watson voted for both Socrates’ guilt and his death.

    Rebecca Watson was sent to Middle Earth to combat Sauron, but she became corrupted by power and betrayed her former allies.

    In her house at R’lyeh, dead Rebecca Watson waits dreaming.

    Rebecca Watson is a cyborg sent back in time to kill John Connor.

  100. wholething says

    Rebecca Watson is attractive, gravitationally speaking, but is so ugly, all the other galaxies are moving away from us and accelerating!

  101. says

    Rebecca Watson had the cure for AIDS but flushed it down the toilet. In her pants.

    Governor Rick Perry of Texas? Yep, that was her as well.

    And that whole Nigerian witch-children burning thing.

  102. F says

    315 has the beginnings of the answer for 314:
    Arcane Web Cost.

    Or maybe because of Carbon Cats Wee! or Bacon Eat Crews, I dunno. Crab Enacts Woe? Scab Nectar Woe? Beware Cats Con!

  103. imthegenieicandoanything says

    She’s also the prime agent behind the tone-down-the-violence-and-politics Hollywoodized remake of Heinlein’s “Starship Troopers.”

    Nice lines, nearly everyone! I’m reaching just to be here!

  104. Loqi says

    Rebecca Watson was sent to Middle Earth to combat Sauron, but she became corrupted by power and betrayed her former allies.

    She was sent to Middle Earth to combat herself?

  105. Mr.Kosta says

    On Rebecca Watson’s apartment door, the following can be read:

    “Abandon all Hope, Ye who enter here”

    /Dante

  106. Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB] says

    Rebecca Watson created the MACARENA and THE CUPID SHUFFLE

  107. imthegenieicandoanything says

    Oh, wait! I got a good one!

    Rebecca Watson is the artist behind the cover of the ELP album “Tarkus”.

    What… are you… looking… at???

    NO!!!

    By “behind” I mean she CREATED the fecking thing!

  108. Mr.Kosta says

    @350 imthegenieicandoanything

    Check the cover of Manowar’s Into Glory Ride. Infinitely worse. And I’m pretty sure RW told them that was a good idea…

  109. imthegenieicandoanything says

    Hce try, Mr., but you have to really LOOK at “Tarkus! first. I mean, open your eyes and LOOK. And then LOOK some more while LISTENING to ELP doodle in faux-majesty.

    I’d rather be locked inside Cheney’s man-sized safe!

    Oh, and – nice try, to several people here – the Nickelback comments are out of line. The Old Ones may exist, but “Nickelback” is a particularly obvious urban legend.

    But RW really DID kill Paul McCartney, replacing him with a fiendishly lifelike robot (whom she programmed to kill bothe John AND George, by the way!)

  110. F says

    Also:

    THE IRREFUTABLE PROOF: REBECCA WATSON IS EVIL

    R E B E C C A W A T S O N
    18 5 2 5 3 3 1 23 1 20 19 15 14 <- letter numbers
    9 5 2 5 3 3 1 5 1 2 1 6 5 <- all digits added
    \_________/ \_________/ \_________/ \_________/ \_/
    7 2 7 9 5 <- final sum

    It is evident that "Rebecca Watson" is symbolized by 72795.

    Divide by 69 - the symbol of sinful perversion. The result is 1055.

    Multiply it by 24 - this is the answer to the ultimate question of life, written backwards. This yields 25320.

    Add 2012, the end of the Mayan calendar - you will get 27332.

    Subtract 1994 - the year Jeffrey Dahmer died in prison. This gives you 25338.

    Subtract 8691 - the year of Martin Luther King's assassination, written backwards. This gives 16647.

    When you take 1957 - the year Osama bin Laden was born - then write it backwards and convert it to octal, you arrive at the very same result.

    Proof by the numbers.

  111. wholething says

    Rebecca Watson donated the heart for Dick Cheney’s transplant but the other person was still using it.

  112. Brad says

    Rebecca Watson doesn’t know about the bird.

    1999 called Rebecca Watson and she didn’t warn them.

    Rebecca Watson tugged on Superman’s cape.

    Rebecca Watson licensed her initials to right wingers.

  113. Rabidtreeweasel and her Badger of Honor says

    RW suggested the TMNT have an alien origin and turned G.I. Joe into a UN peace keeper unit.

  114. Owlmirror says

    It’s really the RebeccaWatsonian salinity crisis.

    Also: Tunguska (she was aiming for a tiny, helpless baby seal near Kamchatka, but she miscalculated)

  115. HK says

    Rebecca Watson creeped me out in an elevator & then sent me a succession of death threats when I politely pointed out that that shit don’t fly with me.

  116. Rabidtreeweasel and her Badger of Honor says

    RW perpetuates violence against women in other countries by campaigning against violence against women in the US.

  117. cyberCMDR says

    Rebecca Watson wrote the theme song for Barney the Dinosaur.

    Rebecca Watson rolled a rock away from a grave in Israel and stole the body, and accidentally started a religion

    Rebecca Watson told Bush that Iraq had WMDs

    Rebecca Watson cleaned one wing on all flies in the world, depriving us of the cures for the diseases on the other wing (Koran)

    Rebecca Watson taught Mohammed about embryology

  118. MathMike says

    Rebecca Watson convinced Bush that Iraq had WMD’s.
    Then she hid Osama in her apartment for several years.

  119. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    Rebecca Watson invented the myth that “If you ignore them, they’ll leave you alone!”

  120. says

    #383 – You’re still there, huh? You realize Rebecca’s gonna make you hang there even longer for complaining. You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t send a cockatiel to eat your liver.

  121. Andiis says

    Rebecca Watson ruined the finest restaurant in Melb Australia.
    I was in a rush to get to a personal (or so she said) appearance by Miss Watson. The cafe is in the very busy centre of Carlton, acknowledged as the beating heart of the food capital of the Southern Hemisphere.
    As I was running late I pulled into the first carpark I saw. Miss Watson arrived fashionably late and proceeded to drink heavily. Swanning in as she did in her tight fitting jeans and one size too small t-shirt she immediately became the centre of attention.
    Miss Watson has perfected the vulnerable little girl look and all male eyes were upon her.
    Her talk was engaging and thought provoking. Her topic was ..” Be a skeptic, just don’t be a DICK about it.” (Caps mine), but I think everyone knew exactly what she meant. Everyone could tell she was looking straight at me. After the talk she told everyone that she was very tired and was just going to have one more drink and go to bed early. ( hahaha.. yeah right!)
    Well I waited for the crowd to thin and bought her a drink and took it over to her. She said she’d had enough and was going to bed! What a tease! I left the bar feeling rejected.
    So I went out to get in my car and I had got a ticket…$80! If Miss Watson had not led me on so salaciously, I would not have been so angry and smashed the glass I stole on the footpath, was arrested and did 90 days in lock-up cos of outstanding warrants. Greasy Joe’s wont let me back in until I finish paying for the front window. So you can see it’s all her fault.
    It’s all in the past now and I don’t even recall Rebecca Watson’s name.

  122. Ouigui says

    palomar8 @304:

    Rebecca Watson killed Spock. And then she made everyone go search for him.

    RW is responsible for the abomination that is Star Trek V.

  123. says

    Watson can even ruin things by proxy. One of her friends told me misandry don’t real. It felt like I was being spermjacked at the very moment I read it.

  124. Ouigui says

    Rebecca Watson forced Schrödinger to use cute cuddly cats instead of ugly cephalopods in his thought experiment.

    And whenever one of those hypothetical cats dies, do you seriously believe it’s just quantum randomness at work? Nope; it’s Watson.

  125. bastionofsass says

    Rebecca Watson encouraged Ted Nugent to share his views about President Obama.

    Rebecca Watson often sets off all the car alarms on my street. At 3 AM. And doesn’t shut off the final one for 2 hours.

    Rebecca Watson puts those loose “order a subscription” cards in magazines.

    Rebecca Watson started the tread of people saying “literally” when using figurative descriptors.

    Rebecca Watson used the last piece of toilet paper in all the public toilets.

    Rebecca Watson routinely tries to sneak 11 items into the “10 items or less” line at the grocery.

  126. Theine says

    When no one was looking, Rebecca Watson took forty cakes. She took 40 cakes. That’s as many as four tens.
    And that’s terrible.

  127. callistacat says

    Rebecca Watson is the reason Hank Hill has a narrow urethra.

    And diminished gluteal syndrome.

  128. Loqi says

    Rebecca Watson is the reason the cheese shop doesn’t have any red leicester. Or tilsit. Or Venezuelan beaver cheese.

  129. osmosis says

    I can’t blame Watson for that lack of judgement.
    Clearly you’ve not read and understood the rules of this game.

  130. McLir says

    Brian, Rebecca was first in line. And callistacat, you’re right — Rebecca ate my baby turducken-style.

  131. says

    Rebecca Watson ate my balls!

    …wait, no, that was Chewbacca. Then Rebecca Watson ate his.

    (Anyone else remember that meme from the paleolithic internet?)

  132. Ian Rennie says

    Rebecca Watson rebroadcast Major League Baseball with only implied verbal consent rather than express written consent.

  133. Matthew North says

    I heard Rebecca Watson created the mosquito in her evil Skepchick laboratory to torment humanity forever.

  134. Sash says

    RW made a deal with Catholic orphanages to burn children in her basement boiler that were too old to adopt out, then foundered the abortion protests to make more orphans & now has a burn load so big, her CO2 emissions are 1,000+ x the output of all industrial CO2 emissions worldwide.

    RW caused Global Warming!

  135. DemocraticRepublicOfDave says

    Rebecca Watson helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights.

    She betrayed and murdered your father.

  136. DemocraticRepublicOfDave says

    Every time someone, somewhere says “I don’t believe in Rebecca Watson” an elevator dies.

  137. Brad says

    Rebecca Watson wrote Ironic.
    Pandora is ancient greek for Rebecca Watson.
    Rebecca Watson’s standup routine is all jokes about oppressed groups she isn’t part of.
    Rebecca Watson ordered the church’s pedophile cover-up.
    Rebecca Watson wrote in Sarah Palin.
    Rebecca Watson deflected the pie thrown at Ann Coulter in 2004. She also made shoe guy miss Bush.
    Rebecca Watson taught the invisible pink unicorn how to rapture socks.
    Rebecca Watson ghost wrote Plan 9 From Outer Space.
    Rebecca Watson invented Autotune.
    Rebecca Watson made Obsidion rush KotOR out for christmas.
    Rebecca Watson redesigned facebook.
    Rebecca Watson stands up in canoes.
    Rebecca Watson recast the kids in National Lampoon’s vacation films.
    Rebecca Watson sacked rome. And fiddled while it burned.
    Rebecca Watson mutinied on HMS Bounty.
    Rebecca Watson created DEEP RIFTS between Lisa Edelstein and David Shore.
    Rebecca Watson took Martok’s eye.
    Rebecca Watson makes birds fly into wind turbines.
    Rebecca Watson kidnapped Daphne and stole Velma’s glasses.
    Rebecca Watson pitched Star Trek: Enterprise.
    Rebecca Watson designed that Tacoma Narrows bridge.
    Rebecca Watson invented software patents.
    Rebecca Watson wrote leviticus.
    Rebecca Watson made the Fantastic Four movies.
    Rebecca Watson killed the dead sea.
    Rebecca Watson made the two versions of electric slide go in opposite directions.
    Rebecca Watson stole Tesla’s inventions.
    Rebecca Watson lead the design teams for Homelands and Fallen Empires, and development for Urza block.
    Rebecca Watson made Desmond kill Lucy.
    Rebecca Watson came up with the Star Wars holiday special.
    Rebecca Watson kept the US from switching to metric.
    Rebecca Watson is coo-coo for coco-puffs and is after me lucky charms.
    Rebecca Watson invented DRM.
    Did Rebeecca Watson help Glenn Beck Rape And Murder A Young Girl In 1990?.com
    Rebecca Watson delayed Duke Nukem Forever, and made it suck when it finally came out.
    Rebecca Watson never knows what you mean when you ask if she does.
    Rebecca Watson made me run out of shit she did.

  138. wholething says

    Rebecca “Tectonic” Watson caused the earthquakes that caused the tidal waves that knocked out the Japanese nuclear reactors and Banda Aceh.

  139. wholething says

    At least Rebecca doesn’t use artificial products. Instead of shampoo, she washes her hair with real poo.

  140. wholething says

    Rebecca Watson removes the catches from gas pump handles so you can’t squeegee your windshield while the tank fills.

    Gas stations that charge you a quarter to inflate your tires hire Rebecca to cut the nozzles off the tire pumps that are free.

  141. wholething says

    This just in: The heart Rebecca Watson donated for Dick Cheney’s transplant came from a guy she met in an elevator.

  142. tonyinbatavia says

    wholething @438, I don’t know that we want to credit Rebecca with that. That was the coolest display in the history of fireworks. Rebecca Watson’s SOP would have been to roll in low, low clouds so no one could see them, then set them all off.

  143. SunlessNick says

    Rebecca Watson huffed, and puffed, and blew my house down.

    Rebecca Watson is an agent of the Shadows.

    Rebecca Watson was the thirteenth participant in the Murder on the Orient Express (wait, doesn’t that make her good? I’m doing it wrong! Rebecca Watson made me do it wrong!).

  144. dean says

    Rebecca Watson was driving the van that ran me off the road during this mornings trainin ride. She hgave me all of this road rash.

  145. says

    Rebecca Watson killed Newt and Hicks.

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for the heartbreak of psoriasis.

    Rebecca Watson is the Catalyst/created the Reapers/flibberty flooberty Space Magic!

    What would Rebecca Watson do? Horrible, horrible things.

  146. says

    Forgot some:

    Rebecca Watson built the house on Ash Tree Lane.

    Rebecca Watson put cyanide in the Tylenol.

    Rebecca Watson wants your skull. Rebecca Watson needs your skull.

    Rebecca Watson did that thing to Donna Noble that makes me cry when I think about it. Do you hear me, Rebecca Watson? You made me cry!

    Rebecca Watson wrote that LMFAO song. You know the one.

  147. Ouigui says

    Rebecca Watson is the cause of Colony Collapse Disorder. She suggested that honeybees obtain consent in a non-creepy way. They’re so confused by the idea, they can no longer mate.

  148. says

    Rebecca Watson caused that grounder to go through Bill Buckner’s legs.

    Rebecca Watson doesn’t want your pets to get spayed or neutered.

    Has anyone ever seen Rebecca Watson and Joseph Stalin in the same place at the same time?

    Rebecca Watson is a Yankees fan.

    Has anyone ever seen Rebecca Watson and Milli Vanilli in the same place at the same time?

    Rebecca Watson told Kevin Costner that Waterworld was a good idea.

  149. maxchase says

    Rebecca Watson personally drove the Parrot Sketch and the Lumberjack Song into the ground, eventually forcing the Pythons to perform perfunctory and stilted renditions completely drained of originality and spontaneity.

  150. Jakie_paper says

    Who knows what darkness lurks in the hearts of men? Rebecca Watson knows….but she ain’t tell’n.

  151. Jakie_paper says

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for every Highlander sequel and spin-off, including the card game. Dammit, Watson, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

  152. Jakie_paper says

    #420, I though it was Yoda who ate balls? Holy guacamole, I’ve been on the intrawebs too long……

  153. Brad says

    @463, according to urban dictionary, “ate my balls” started with Mr. T.

    and here’s a salon article http://www.salon.com/1997/08/10/balls_2/

    and now, back to you regularly scheduled Rebecca Watson.

    Rebecca Watson made Spielberg quit Freakazoid.
    Rebecca Watson created season 3 of Gargoyles.
    Rebecca Watson coached Bale’s Batman voice.
    Rebecca Watson said my cat couldn’t haz cheeseburger.
    Rebecca Watson gave two girls a cup and a video camera.

  154. Tony aka The Psychic Octopus [safe and welcome at FtB] says

    She created Jaws 3-D for crying out loud. Between that, Highlander 2, Howard the Duck, and Batman & Robin, Ms. Watson has some ‘splainin to do.

  155. thunk, sadly not in gale crater says

    Rebecca Watson obviously caused the demise of Phobos-Grunt.

    And every Soviet failure to get to Mars.

  156. F says

    This is what I have found out:
    You know that old lady who swallowed a fly? And we don’t know why she swallowed the fly?

    Rebecca Watson, that’s why.

  157. J. Goard says

    Reading all the funny comments on this post has really cut into my Diablo 3 time, and now I might now even be able to play before dinner…

    Damn you, Rebecca!!!

  158. rq says

    Rebecca Watson pushed Jack and Jill down the hill and Humpty-Dumpty off the wall. Then she set fire to the ladybug’s house. She also baked four-and-twenty blackbirds into a pie, but they magically survived. As consolation to herself, she dressed up as a giant spider and went to see what Miss Muffett was doing. On her way, she put the baby, cradle and all, on the treetop.

  159. says

    Or that time when she returned from the Underverse and started forcing everyone to convert or die.

    I thought she was only responsible for the Art-Deco hovering buses. Now you tell me she’s also responsible for the interstellar planet-killing golf-tees? Who wants to listen to her destroy worlds for an hour?

  160. ... says

    This is, of course, a composite of real comments on that video.

    Or, to phrase it another way, something made up out of thin air.

    And so the adoration of the Sarah Palin of skepticism continues…

  161. says

    I didn’t have any takers on the side bet, but honestly, I would have gone all in on “between comments 1 and 10″ so I would have failed miserably. Oh well! Your loss!

    Elipsis, since you refused to actually explain how you were contributing to the last conversation you were involved in derailing, and since you contribute nothing but hatred of all things Watson for no apparent reason, you’re in moderation. Answer my charge at the linked post if you want to prove you’re actually interested in discussing things instead of just adding to the background radiation of hatred that Watson already experiences.

    I’m sure our discussions about tangential matters will sorely lack in your expressed hatred and that you’ll claim censorship or groupthink or some other contrafactual nonsense. But don’t worry, there will be no shortage of hatred expressed about Watson in your absence here. Since every component of the composite I wrote above is actually very easily findable on any Youtube video containing even the words “Rebecca” and “Watson”, even if she’s not on the video itself, don’t worry. People will know you and others really, really hate her.

    (TL;DR: Rebecca Watson made me put you in moderation using her mind-control powers.)

  162. ... says

    Well, I’ve long learned that facts or reason are not wholly welcome here, so why should I supply them? But to answer to your question – fascinating thing, question about driving the conversation forward; to where, exactly? – I am eager to know why this nonentity continues to command such an audience. The phenomenon has the same grotesque fascination as Sarah Palin does. Just how do we get to a point of such decay that someone like that can be voted “most influential atheist” ahead of Ayaan Hirsi Ali? Maybe it’s something in the middle class American mindset, I don’t know.

    Enfin. This festival of self-pity has been going on for a year, during which any attempt to address the real oppression of women elsewhere has ranged from the slim to the nonexistent. To take an example from today, you can see Taslima Nasrin’s put up truly horrendous examples of the crime of acid-throwing. I guarantee you that this will attract less attention, and be quickly forgotten in the endless parade of the self-pity of the privileged.

    I’ve had sharp disagreements with Maryam Namazie, but she’s a real fighter with real guts, and it has not escaped my notice that her work on actual oppression receives less than a hundredth of the attention that the drone does.

  163. says

    Shorter Elipsis: “You can’t talk about anything unless you’re talking about the worst things.”

    The obvious counter to this is, why the hell are you complaining about people you perceive to have poor priorities when there are people throwing acid at women? Go do something about that!

  164. sambarge says

    1975. Amity Island. They said it was a great white shark. But we know the truth.

    WAT-son…….WAT-son…….WAT-son..WAT-son..WAT-son..WAT-son..WAT-son..WAT-SON!

  165. says

    Coincidentally enough, Watson posted a wrap-up of SkepchickCON that included a screenshot of a Youtube comment that sounds almost identical to what I’d created as a composite of other comments I’ve seen elsewhere. You know, for those people who are skeptical of the extraordinary claim that people say shit like that to her.

    Of course, I bet Rebecca Watson made that commenter say that to prove me right.

  166. Jusarious says

    Rebecca Watson:
    – made the bowl of petunias fall from the sky.
    – ate the red ones first.
    – ‘s gravitational pull is drawing Planet X into earth to kill us all.
    – forced the Keebler elves to live in appalling sweatshop conditions within the tree to make her cookies.
    – made Troy bring in that awful wooden horse.
    – enabled Tim Burton to make more movies.
    – Programmed the Mars rover to crash.
    – made the Westboro Baptist Church’s protest signs.
    – canceled Firefly (yes this has been stated but needed to be said again).
    – created Mosquitoes, ticks and leeches.
    – made my coffee too hot and I burned my tongue.
    – burned down the great library in Alexandria.
    – sunk Atlantis.
    and finally
    – made men reflect on their actions.

    Just Kidding! Rebecca, if you read this, hang in there and ignore the trolls.

  167. wholething says

    Rebecca Watson invented the Bloody Mary when she wielded the axe in the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots.

  168. says

    – made men reflect on their actions.

    Let us not forget that this, after all, is her real crime.

    How DARE a woman gently chastise men on their actions and make them THINK about them?

  169. says

    I am eager to know why this nonentity continues to command such an audience.

    Well, you’re part of that audience, so maybe you should ask YOURSELF why you’re wasting so much time bitching about how she isn’t worth your time. You do realize you’re not being forced to read one FTB and not another, right?

  170. Dexeron says

    You know when Kirk shouted “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”?

    He was originally shouting “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!!!”

    But Rebecca Watson made him change it.

  171. dapartypoopah says

    Rebecca Watson once asked me for coffee, I knew what she was up to so I punched her in the face and ran away. You know how threatening it is when you are cornered behind a counter and someone asks you coffee, who cares that it is morning and in a coffeeshop, it was creepy.

  172. brucecoppola says

    jnorris, you are totally dating yourself with that reference.

    Damn, I just dated myself, too.

    WATSON!!!

  173. brucecoppola says

    There should be an FTB Comment Thread Hall of Fame, and this thread should be in it. But Rebecca Watson will not allow that to happen.

  174. dccarbene says

    Rebbeca Watson has been feeding us Pink Slime for years.

    Rebecca Watson immanentized the eschaton. With malace aforethought.

  175. Celeste says

    Last night I couldn’t get to sleep because more memories of RW’s evil doings just kept coming to me.

    Rebecca Watson made Mil and Margret have an argument.

    Rebecca Watson made Alexander have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

    Rebecca Watson completed everything on the Evil Overlord list.

    Rebecca Watson taught Perf the milk spell.

    Rebecca Watson turned Carrow into a theoretically impossible form of undead: an intelligent corporeal.

    Rebecca Watson killed James and Lily Potter.

    Rebecca Watson told Barbie that math is hard.

    Rebecca Watson gave Louis the choise that she…never…had.

    Rebecca Watson told Han the odds.

    Rebecca Watson blew up the Watchers Council headquarters.

    Rebecca Watson told George W. Bush that “misunderestimate” is a word.

    Rebecca Watson suggested implementing the TSA as a joke, but Congress took her seriously.

    Rebecca Watson poked out my inner eye.

  176. Buzz Parsec says

    Rebecca Watson keeps calling me up and telling my it’s my last chance to reduce my credit card interest rates and that my car warranty is about to expire.

  177. wholething says

    It is Rebecca Watson’s fault that they never came out with Left Guard for the other armpit.

    “Lather. Rinse. Repeat.” was a cruel joke Rebecca played on computer programmers.

  178. Jern says

    I dislike Rebecca Watson for abusing accidentally obtained moderator rights on the JREF forums to ban people who disagreed with her.

  179. Stacy says

    Some say her father was German. Nobody believed she was real. Nobody ever saw her or knew anybody that ever worked directly for her, but to hear the Skepchicks tell it, anybody could have worked for Watson. You never knew. That was her power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world she didn’t exist. And like that, poof. She’s gone.

  180. Jimmy J.J. Jones Jr. says

    Two big thumbs up.
    And this crap is still going on, taking her jokes about the issue and trying to turn them against her by quote mining out of context. It just goes to show that humans, all humans can act like little children when they let their emotions trump their reason.

    I think some people don’t like Watson because she’s funny, quick witted and probably much smarter then them-selves.
    I like her. I don’t always agree with her, but I don’t agree with anyone on all issues. But that doesn’t drive me to be throw an ugly tantrum towards her.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] going to distract all attention from our horrible #FTBullies status by a well-tested expedient: We’re going to blame Rebecca Watson for everything. At last, all Deep Rifts are healed! Share this: Posted in Weirdness « Pharyngula Podcast [...]

  2. [...] July I went to CONvergence! That is, after all, part of my July routine. What’s novel, though, is that I was on three panels: Don’t Feed the Trolls, Doomsday Scenarios and Growing Up Online. I also continued talking about the harassment policies campaign pushback, with a piece on how they protect religion from criticism, and how they require consent forms written in triplicate. Richard Dawkins made a sidelong stab at Skepchick over the vaccines-for-hugs campaigns they run, and I expressed my disappointment once again. The harassment policies campaign wound down to a close, with dozens of orgs and conventions adopting policies, the last of which being TAM’s “secret police” policy which, while it certainly counts, was just a monkey’s-paw wish misinterpretation of the campaign. Lastly, we collectively unearthed all the ways Rebecca Watson ruins everything. [...]

  3. […] In atheo-skepticism, we have the continual conflation of Rebecca and Atheism+. Forget that Atheism+ is Jen McCreight’s brainchild. Forget that Rebecca said at the time that it wasn’t her preferred means of dealing with the problem, that she’d rather start from humanism. No, when Atheism+ was the big bogeyman, people kept complaining to Rebecca about it. But that’s just one example. For more, try this. […]

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