Jun 24 2012

Christ… OR ELSE

Wow, these Christians make a compelling argument for converting to Christianity that totally actually works exactly like this in real life.

CHRIST OR DIE from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

Hat tip to Everything Is Terrible. They’ve got some crazy fortitude, digging through old 70s and 80s media for this weapons-grade nonsense.


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  1. 1
    Jasper of Maine

    What is wrong for me to be laughing out loud at that?

  2. 2

    Is something wrong with you? I laughed my ass off too. I mean they’re a sick bunch…it’s even cringe worthy at times, but I still had to laugh.

  3. 3

    I interrupted my MP3 playlist to listen to that? I must be turning into a masochist.

  4. 4

    My sister links videos like that on her facebook :(

  5. 5
    Midnight Rambler

    I was laughing until I realized it wasn’t a parody.

  6. 6

    My favorite was the mother who does charity work who is getting the third degree from her daughter for not going to church. Oh, and the gangstas – they were whack!

  7. 7

    Midnight Rambler says:

    I was laughing until I realized it wasn’t a parody.

    Wait, it’s not parody!?

    How the heck do they explain the Christian good persons getting killed as well? I honestly thought that part was a dig at how God’s aim is so… terrible.

  8. 8
    Christoph Burschka

    The panicked reaction in the first scene was hilarious. “Shut up! God’s listening and you know how bad his aim is. I don’t want to be collateral damage!”

  9. 9

    That can’t be a parody. No same person can write or act that badly.

  10. 10

    aahh, no sane person.

  11. 11


  12. 12
    Jason Thibeault

    Yeah, everyone thinking this is parody is likely engaging in wishful thinking. Sorry that that’s the case, folks. Something this hamfisted is almost certainly real. Mind you, it might have been spliced together by the EIT folks to show the most egregious bits of it.

  13. 13
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    So very much not a parody, unfortunately. If anything that’s some of the tamer crap I’ve seen.

    I recall one from my delightful Sunday school, similar setup good xtians trying to “save” their evil friends, everyone dies. The last half was everyone standing around waiting to be judged, the xtians all gloating and the non-believers crying and begging for another chance. It ended with the sinners all screaming and jammed in tiny red-lit cages, pretty fucking terrifying for an 8-yr old.

  14. 14

    Those were all on the same stage, if they were spliced, it wasn’t by the EIT guys.

    And can I say: “No, Joe!, Don’t die man. Don’t die! I didn’t get to tell you about Jesus.” As if. I’m sorry, but that has got to be the worst reaction to having your friends gunned down in front of you. (and it made me snicker) The over-the top acting just makes those sketches that much better – or worse.

    Finally, what sort of twisted mind considered those sketches a good idea?

  15. 15

    So, God is money, and we are God if we meditate. So…are we turn into money if we meditate? Theology is complicated.


    Jesus freak, crying: “Don’t die! I didn’t get to tell you about Jesus!”

    [Omitted response] Dying kid: “Must…die…faster”

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