Jun 21 2012

Let’s play harassment bingo

Time for some more crowdsourcing. Here’s my first bunch of squares for a harassment bingo card. Need a minimum of 24. I have 16.

Y u no name names?
“hysterical” / “histrionic”
Leave it to the cops
A policy would ruin our convention
Mistaking TAM for the entire community
“Leave DJ alone!”
Too ugly to be harassed
“dogmatic feminism”
“rumors” / “innuendo”
Denialism that harassment happens
mistaking “not a safe space” for “unsafe”
A pox on both houses!
“you’re being tribalistic”

The free square will be “10+ CONVENTIONS HAVE POLICIES IN PLACE”. Because that’s our current state of affairs.



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  1. 1

    I think I’d change “Leave it to the Cops” to “Just go to the Police/Security”, since its a bit more dismissive and is the general way its used.

    Also, something on the likes of “You just don’t want men ever to flirt/Hate sex”

    “Free speech!”

    “But DJ/TAM can’t do anything about it” (I’ve seen variations of that a few times)

    “You can’t end all harassment everywhere, so why bother” (or a more pithy version.)

  2. 2
    Eskeptrical Engineer

    “What happened to ‘innocent until proven guilty?’”

    “Some guys are just socially awkward!”

    “You want to criminalize flirting,” though that may overlap with “A policy would ruin our convention.”

  3. 3

    And now you know why I attend Star Trek conventions instead of skeptic cons.

  4. 4

    Accusations of misandry, blanket statements such as “everyone’s behaved badly on both sides” although a pox probably covers that one…

  5. 5
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    You can add “False claims of rape ruin the lives of menz!” and possibly “Men pay child support” to the list.

  6. 6

    “Where’s your scientific evidence”

  7. 7
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    “I’m just trying to help (by explaining what you’re doing wrong and telling you what you should be doing).”

    “But I’m an ally!”

  8. 8
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    “attention/drama whore”

  9. 9
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    any evo psych explanation for anything

  10. 10

    “Locker room banter”/ “Skeevy sexual exploits”, perhaps?

  11. 11
    SC (Salty Current), OM


  12. 12

    Oooh! Oohh! Something along the lines of, “This is just part of a larger societal problem, not a problem in just the skeptic community, and therefore not something we, as skeptics, ever need to discuss in public. Therefore shutup.” Sortof a Reese’s-esque “Stop Getting Your Feminism All Over My Skepticism!” complaint.

  13. 13
    Tom Foss

    “Ruining men’s lives!”

    “Just being skeptical

    “Feminists are a minority in the community”

    “Most of us”



    “Controversialist Blogs”/”Just doing it for [money/hits/dates]”

    “Just asking questions”

    “Who I choose to call out for bad behavior isn’t important!”


    “But [A] called [X] a [Y]!”/”[A] said [X] so clearly [A is a bigot/you're all hypocrites]”

    “[Suggestion that someone perform a sex act on another person]”

    “Until you answer my questions/concerns, the debate cannot move forward!”/”You haven’t answered my question!”

    “That’s a false comparison!”


    “Suck it up”/”Deal with it”/”You should expect…”

  14. 14
    Jason Thibeault

    Jebus. Okay, I have enough for one card. There will have to be two I guess.

  15. 15

    Crowdsourcing FTW :)

  16. 16
    Jason Thibeault

    The list I’m using for card 1 is:

    “Y u no name names?”
    “hysterical” / “histrionic”
    “Just go to police / security”
    “A policy would ruin our convention”
    Mistaking TAM for the entire community
    “Leave DJ alone!”
    “Too ugly to be harassed”
    “dogmatic feminism”
    “rumors” / “innuendo”
    “Where’s your evidence that harassment happens?”
    mistaking “not a safe space” for “unsafe”
    “A pox on both houses!”
    “You’re being tribalistic”
    Any evo-psych bullshit
    “Mission drift!”
    “You’ll never end sexism”
    “Free speech!”
    “You’re writing about this for the hits”
    “You just hate sex”
    “You want to criminalize flirting”

  17. 17
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    1. Dissent is not allowed!

    2. I disagree (that you feel that way).

    3. Broad brush!

  18. 18
    kimbo jones

    “He’s only a feminist so he can pick up feminist chicks.”…or otherwise diminishing the male contribution to feminism.

  19. 19

    Goalpost shifting.

    “We have to weigh the evidence.”

    “It was just coffee.”

    “You’re saying all men are rapists.”

    “Stop wearing revealing clothing if you don’t want to get hit on.”

  20. 20

    And condesplaining. Never forget condesplaining.

  21. 21
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    “But you took a sexy pic once!”

  22. 22


  23. 23

    @ Kimbo Jones

    “He’s only a feminist so he can pick up feminist chicks.”

    “white knighting” would summarize it, I guess.

    Jason, what about something like:
    “If he was more handsome, she wouldn’t complain”

  24. 24
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    nitpicky (in some cases incoherent) derails

    “I’m a woman and I don’t think it’s a problem.”

    sexist/misogynistic slurs or jokes

  25. 25

    Am I too late for “buyer’s remorse”?

  26. 26
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    “You’re infantilizing women.”

  27. 27
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    “I haven’t read much of this little internet squabble, but it seems to me…”

  28. 28
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    “Of course harrassment is bad, but. . .”

  29. 29
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    “harassment,” even.

  30. 30
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    “Where’s the evidence this even happened?”

    “Saying you were squicked is an extraordinary claim.”

    “I’m skeptical that you felt uncomfortable.”

  31. 31
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    “Other women have real/far worse problems.”

  32. 32
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    SC, we appear to be running on the same programming today.

  33. 33

    “you must elevate DJ’s apology to the top of your post! (but DJ has no responsibility to do anything other than post comments in the depths of threads)” (on the JREF forums, repeatedly)

    “just just kick ‘em in the nads!

  34. 34
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    “You’re criminalizing social ineptness/awkwardness/ASD.”

  35. 35
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    SC, we appear to be running on the same programming today.

    We do, don’t we.

  36. 36

    hypothetical gender reversal (e.g., “Would you still feel that’s harassment if a woman did that to a man?”)

    any comment by a Chill Girl

    slippery slope (“but if we stop harassment, then we can’t hook up”), which may overlap with hating sex and killing flirting

    this is less important than…/I stopped by to tell you why this is a waste of time

  37. 37

    “He said, ‘douchebag!’”

  38. 38
    Jason Thibeault

    Sethra should win a prize. Check the URL of his comment:


    I’ll have the first card up shortly, but man alive, do I get sidetracked easily. By work mind you, but still.

  39. 39

    Did anyone get “you’re just talking about all of this for the attention/celebrity” yet? How about “you’re acting like a victim so you don’t have to take responsibility for your own actions?”

    If not, I call those. Then I kick them. Twice.

  40. 40

    I believe you missed, “I was (we were) just joking”/”You can’t take a joke.”

  41. 41

    “He’s only a feminist so he can pick up feminist chicks.”…or otherwise diminishing the male contribution to feminism.

    I suppose it would be wrong for me to concede that anti-feminist men who justify really hateful treatment of women are revolting to me, and I would rather sleep with five feminist men than one anti-feminist man. Also, kindness is a very beautifying characteristic.

  42. 42
    Jason Thibeault

    Well I guess it’s a good thing I’m kind then. Anything to make up for my physical deficits! :D

  43. 43
    Jason Thibeault

    Also, the first two cards are posted here. Have fun.

  44. 44

    Show the pictures or is didn’t happen.

  45. 45

    MAYBE this bingo game has been healing… could someone clue me in on what a T.A.M. is? It only pulls up on Facebook to this blog. Will I find it with DJ Groethe? And what is a JREF? Are people so geeky to be satisfied to keep other Atheists isolated away from who what when where & why?

  46. 46

    I did not read anything about male entitlement. Are people here not up to speed on the essence of persistent patriarchy? Male feelings deep seated to continue pursuit sexually female objects for penile gratifications? If nothing else, these scum are spreading HIV causing cervical cancer & should be quarantined to prevent disease. Not to mention making Atheist conferences safe for my daughters ages 37 & 18

  47. 47

    many times in US History we’ve had opportunities to confront Presidential/political womanizing from the Anti-Mason party to Cleveland to FDR to JFK to Clinton & now FtWorthless Newt Gingrich demonstrating his obsession for a vagina, mouth or anus around his Rethuglican member. Married to two former mistresses betraying two wives in his former marriages, this corrupt “Speaker” is running lose collecting nearly 100 million dollars instead of a prison sentence for bankrupting the nation for the banksters & polluters.

  48. 48

    Dear Muslima…

  49. 49

    Sethra should win a prize. Check the URL of his comment:

    *waves at Jason*

    Her comment. :)

    And you just gave me an idea for a tattoo! *happy dance*

  50. 50

    Dear Muslima…

    That should be the winner right there.

  51. 51
    Jason Thibeault

    Oh hell. Normally I’m so good with using “hir” or “zir” or even “their” when I don’t know genders or preferred pronouns. I don’t know where I got the mistaken impression. My bad.

  52. 52

    No worries, that’s why I included the smiley face. I mess that one up from time to time and definitely need to work on my use of language.

  53. 53
    Ophelia Benson

    “You’re driving people to suicide.”

  54. 54
    Jason Thibeault

    “Dear Muslima” should be an insta-win, yes. Soon as you hear it, BINGO.

    Though the sentiment behind it is also covered in “This isn’t as bad as [X thing that's really bad]” on Card 2.

    Ophelia: does “Bullies!” count? It’s close.

  1. 55
    Harassment Bingo: cards 1 and 2 | Lousy Canuck

    [...] campaign posts’ comment threads. We’ve done it for other topics, why not this one? So I jotted down a few, and asked people to help fill in the rest, and commenters easily filled two cards. I figure it [...]

  2. 56
    cestas de navidad

    cestas de navidad…

    [...]Let’s play harassment bingo | Lousy Canuck[...]…

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