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Mock The Movie: She Gods of Shark Reef transcript

This Mock the Movie event was everything we expected it to be, and so much less. Your usual Corman film from the 50s/60s, with all the drama coming from a hamfisted villain and a nonexistent deity, and the best acting came from the so-called shark, that you could almost believe was actually a full-sized and dangerous creature that was interested in these characters — as long as you squinted and kinda looked at the screen using your peripheral vision.

@DrRubidium: .@MockTM movie this week is She Gods of Shark Reef!!! #bewaretheTiki #sobaditsgood
2012-06-05 04:02:12
@lousycanuck: This Thursday! 9pm EST! Mock The Movie: She Gods of Shark Reef: http://t.co/DvSQVKBv @MockTM
2012-06-05 15:44:36
@DrRubidium: @elonjames a group of us own it (bad taste) & started @MockTM. This week we’re watching She Gods Of Shark Reef http://t.co/IbERGcGq #4realz
2012-06-06 00:10:00
@DrRubidium: Is there anything better (worse?) than a Corman film? NO. Join in Thursday’s @MockTM http://t.co/IbERGcGq
2012-06-06 00:14:15
@DrRubidium: She Gods of Shark Reef. Need I say more? Join us tonight at 9pm for @MockTM! http://t.co/IbERGcGq
@CA7746: @MockTM My live subtitles script was nearly ready. Can display ~40s lagged, but can’t compose yet. I’ll use a browser tonight.
2012-06-08 00:52:00
@brx0: Tonight’s @MockTM is also available on the youtubes: http://t.co/Npi7SIu9
2012-06-08 00:54:58
@lousycanuck: @CA7746 Not bad at all though! Soon @MockTM will have an entire suite of accompanying scripts thanks to you!
2012-06-08 00:56:11
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, I’m paused on “A Ludwig Gerber Production”…
2012-06-08 00:59:37
@blakestacey: Standing by to commence @MockTM.
2012-06-08 01:00:11
@brx0: @MockTM Oh jeez, I forgot how dire the credits song is….
2012-06-08 01:00:19
@szvan: Going to miss tonight’s @MockTM. Boo adulthood.
2012-06-08 01:00:29
@blakestacey: Well, it’s 21:00 by my clock. Pressing play for tonight’s @MockTM: SHE GODS OF SHARK REEF.
2012-06-08 01:00:46
@DrRubidium: @mockTM and so it begins… with the creepiest soundtrack for a horror movie EVER
2012-06-08 01:00:59
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Contradiction in terms Pictures presents”
2012-06-08 01:01:07
@blakestacey: @MockTM Something makes me worry this movie will be…mushy.
2012-06-08 01:01:28
@CA7746: @MockTM Credits don’t have their sea legs yet.
2012-06-08 01:01:49
@blakestacey: @MockTM “If you were a gatekeeper, I would be your keymaster…”
2012-06-08 01:02:02
@DrRubidium: @mockTM only weirdos swim under the pier
2012-06-08 01:02:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM For tonight’s viewing pleasure, I’m enjoying Kraken spiced rum, lime and ginger ale. AKA, a “Dark and Squirmy.”
2012-06-08 01:02:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM Lovely lovely Ludwig H…
2012-06-08 01:02:25
@brx0: @MockTM Hmm, what’s the guy under the dock in the turban up to? This bodes ill.
2012-06-08 01:02:26
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Typical Corman. I’m already about to fall asleep.
2012-06-08 01:02:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM Suddenly I want to see this movie’s long-form birth certificate.
2012-06-08 01:02:45
@Rowsdower30: @MockTM Grandpa, no!
2012-06-08 01:03:01
@brx0: @MockTM That’s not how you use a machete, dude.
2012-06-08 01:03:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM Thrilling crew-cut action!
2012-06-08 01:03:17
@DrRubidium: @MockTM am I the only one that wants these fools to me eaten by a shark? Like now?
2012-06-08 01:03:18
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Hey I have a great idea! I’ll distract him, you steal his pith helmet. Then we’ll BOTH have cool hats!”
2012-06-08 01:03:23
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Say, didn’t I have a hat a moment ago?”
2012-06-08 01:03:49
@CyberLizard: @mocktm You got a little ketchup on your chin there…
2012-06-08 01:04:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Swami this, mahatma that, I’ll make them all pay.”
2012-06-08 01:04:12
@brx0: @MockTM I keep forgetting this thing isn’t actually set in Hawaii.
2012-06-08 01:04:15
@blakestacey: @MockTM Wow, turns out it’s really easy to sneak up on someone when your footsteps aren’t foleyed in.
2012-06-08 01:04:30
@DrRubidium: @mockTM nobody in Hawaii wears those hats
2012-06-08 01:04:41
@brx0: @MockTM That’s not how you use a rifle, dude.
2012-06-08 01:04:42
@blakestacey: @MockTM Aww, they broke open his chocolate center!
2012-06-08 01:04:44
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm …soundtrack by Helen Keller
2012-06-08 01:04:51
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, they’re…tentpole thieves?
2012-06-08 01:05:07
@DrRubidium: @mockTM why doesn’t that guy have a shirt on? Seriously?
2012-06-08 01:05:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM Thunderstick!
2012-06-08 01:05:35
@DrRubidium: @MockTM JUDO CHOP!
2012-06-08 01:05:52
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm give…me…your…shirt!
2012-06-08 01:05:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM If this were Metal Gear, that guard woulda just went “!”
2012-06-08 01:06:07
@CA7746: @MockTM I’ve never heard such riveting dialogue.
2012-06-08 01:06:07
@blakestacey: @MockTM And the non-white guy cuts and runs. … well, swims. Sigh. Everybody settle in for a dose of the 1950s.
2012-06-08 01:06:17
@brx0: @MockTM Ominous narration over a map, and a little stock storm footage. And the excitement builds…
2012-06-08 01:06:22
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that had to be the worst fight scene in the history of film.
2012-06-08 01:06:27
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Holy crap, I just realized we’re watching an episode of Johnny Quest: The Later Years! And Hadji just went for a swim.
2012-06-08 01:06:49
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Forgive me, Gary!”
2012-06-08 01:06:53
@CyberLizard: @MockTM Aren’t they typhoons over there?
2012-06-08 01:07:15
@blakestacey: @MockTM He shoots, but sadly, he is unable to stop the film from continuing.
2012-06-08 01:07:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Here there be dragons.”
2012-06-08 01:07:25
@brx0: @MockTM Sharks! (Not very big or threatening sharks.)
2012-06-08 01:07:40
@blakestacey: @MockTM Can you believe that archipelago didn’t get a first name until the sixth movie?!
2012-06-08 01:07:45
@CA7746: @MockTM * Ominous kazoos *
2012-06-08 01:08:09
@LalSox: @brx0 @MockTM how many minutes in are you?
2012-06-08 01:08:13
@CyberLizard: @mocktm The Harvard crew team is in for a surprise!
2012-06-08 01:08:19
@brx0: @MockTM Note how the big shark is never in the same shot as the people. I sense trickery.
2012-06-08 01:08:29
@CA7746: @MockTM Go fishie go!
2012-06-08 01:08:29
@blakestacey: @MockTM Because nothing says “tropical diving from fishing boats” like an ominous brass section fanfare!
2012-06-08 01:08:36
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I too get in knife fights with sharks
2012-06-08 01:08:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM One of these boats is going into row into Rusaki and float out again with everybody dead…
2012-06-08 01:09:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM So um, what was the point of the in media res earlier? To establish that these guys really hate people in pith hats?
2012-06-08 01:09:04
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm Mama Cass lives on this island!
2012-06-08 01:09:47
@blakestacey: @MockTM Meanwhile, in a shark tank somewhere else…
2012-06-08 01:09:48
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Pacific islanders invented the muumuu?
2012-06-08 01:10:02
@brx0: @MockTM Welcome to Kauai, guys! Land of not-very-Polynesian tribeswomen!
2012-06-08 01:10:11
@CA7746: @MockTM They CAN speak!
2012-06-08 01:10:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM OK, the women on the shore are wearing FAR too many clothes to be She Gods of Shark Reef!!
2012-06-08 01:10:43
@CA7746: @MockTM Replaced our ruined clothing with curtains and bed sheets.
2012-06-08 01:11:09
@brx0: @MockTM Nice collection of classic 1950s muumuus though. They’d actually be worth a lot today.
2012-06-08 01:11:12
@DrRubidium: @mockTM native tropical dress, my ass! That mu-mu is straight up WalMart.
2012-06-08 01:11:24
@blakestacey: @MockTM No, don’t get close enough to show us what’s going on. We can figure it out.
2012-06-08 01:11:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Good thing these ladies all speak English.
2012-06-08 01:11:42
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You were foolish to put out in so small a boat. I was foolish to put out in the backseat of a ’47 Ford.”
2012-06-08 01:12:04
@brx0: @MockTM “You are a scientific expedition? We have had several here before.” she says with distaste.
2012-06-08 01:12:20
@CA7746: @MockTM The CIA?
2012-06-08 01:12:22
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm Muumuus for everyone!
2012-06-08 01:12:52
@brx0: @MockTM And everything’s run by the mysterious Island Company. It’s like Lost meets Trader Vics here.
2012-06-08 01:13:11
@blakestacey: @MockTM “The company”? Is that the CIA? Weyland-Utani?
2012-06-08 01:13:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM If this “The Company” turns out to be Dharma Initiatives, I’m out. I’m just turning this movie off.
2012-06-08 01:13:15
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Clothes? What’s wrong with our bare, manly, strong, delicious, chests…
2012-06-08 01:13:23
@CA7746: @MockTM Let me pull this out…
2012-06-08 01:13:36
@DrRubidium: @mockTM that sounds like an Austrian accent to me
2012-06-08 01:13:42
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm this is sounding an awful lot like Lost…which girl is Hurley?
2012-06-08 01:13:59
@DrRubidium: @mockTM so now we’re watching an episode of Lost
2012-06-08 01:14:20
@blakestacey: @MockTM “The Island Company. You know, they manufacture islands.”
2012-06-08 01:14:35
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm Steve storms off in his kicky miniskirt!
2012-06-08 01:15:22
@brx0: @MockTM So if this a company island populated mostly by haoles, why does the leader speak in broken English?
2012-06-08 01:15:24
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I have the death sentence in twelve systems!”
2012-06-08 01:15:27
@CA7746: @MockTM I tell about your short shorts.
2012-06-08 01:15:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I demand at least a six-bit lecture!”
2012-06-08 01:15:48
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Tiki god is never a good sign. Especially if he’s hungry.
2012-06-08 01:16:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We need to find a boat. A fast boat. I’ve heard of one so fast it can make the Kessel Run in four hundred billion years.”
2012-06-08 01:16:18
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm where’s Wilson?!?
2012-06-08 01:16:43
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Insta-raft!
2012-06-08 01:16:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Shark god hungry. Demands tofu. Yeah, we didn’t understand it at first, either.”
2012-06-08 01:17:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM They worship a god named Kangaroo? Okay, sure.
2012-06-08 01:17:08
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Hey, they raided Gilligan’s sound stage!
2012-06-08 01:17:53
@DrRubidium: @MockTM there is a shocking lack of gruesome deaths in this movie. Did Roger Corman make this? Seriously?
2012-06-08 01:18:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM Jebus, was the cameraman shy or something?
2012-06-08 01:18:21
@brx0: @MockTM Our Heroes can’t go in the doorless pearl hut, company rules, strictly forbidden. Security fail.
2012-06-08 01:18:55
@CyberLizard: @mocktm “That is the hand of fate” Manos must be on a three-hour tour
2012-06-08 01:19:05
@blakestacey: @MockTM “The hand of fate…Manos!”
2012-06-08 01:19:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “That is the hand of fate…” Dun dun dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN
2012-06-08 01:19:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM They salt pearls?
2012-06-08 01:19:37
@brx0: @MockTM Not sure what this “good chow” is. Probably Spam, this being not-Hawaii and all.
2012-06-08 01:19:41
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm That’s a pretty name…. So, sex?
2012-06-08 01:20:07
@CA7746: @MockTM Aw. Poor Lee.
2012-06-08 01:20:20
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm oh christ, it’s a folk song
2012-06-08 01:20:42
@DrRubidium: @MockTM um, that’s hula and they’re supposedly by the Sulu Sea #justsayin
2012-06-08 01:21:01
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “That’s a pretty name. What are you doing later? Oh, washing your hair? That’s too bad.”
2012-06-08 01:21:17
@CA7746: @MockTM No one care about Lee.
2012-06-08 01:21:45
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm “big stupid men wear stupid skirts”
2012-06-08 01:21:47
@DrRubidium: @lousycanuck @MockTM I hope she kills them both.
2012-06-08 01:21:55
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm Aretha Franklin, NO!
2012-06-08 01:22:17
@CA7746: @MockTM I like THIS story.
2012-06-08 01:22:41
@DrRubidium: @MockTM LESS DANCING, MORE HORRIBLE DEATHS!
2012-06-08 01:22:53
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ah, Hawaii, Philippines, same difference!
2012-06-08 01:22:57
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Asmall group of women to live alone on an island and dance. Sounds like the Company’s stock is rising!
2012-06-08 01:23:03
@LalSox: @DrRubidium @MockTM is there a hashtag for this thing?
2012-06-08 01:23:13
@brx0: @MockTM It’s all fun & games until your lei falls apart…
2012-06-08 01:23:41
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm This dance means “you’ll never touch me”
2012-06-08 01:23:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM King Arthur’s army is invading?
2012-06-08 01:23:52
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I’ll say it because nobody else will – the blond looks silly in a mini-skirt
2012-06-08 01:24:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Eh, it’s no Orion slave girl.”
2012-06-08 01:24:29
@CyberLizard: @mocktm I have GOT to get me one of those miniskirts
2012-06-08 01:24:44
@LalSox: @DrRubidium @MockTM is this slow hula supposed to be ironic?
2012-06-08 01:24:50
@DrRubidium: @LalSox no, we just tweet at @MockTM so as to not overwhelm our followers
2012-06-08 01:24:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM Breaking a lei is taboo?
2012-06-08 01:25:19
@LalSox: @DrRubidium @MockTM I think its a skort
2012-06-08 01:25:30
@brx0: @MockTM Our hero’s hair hasn’t budged all movie. Even underwater. You just can’t get WMD-grade Brylcreem like that anymore.
2012-06-08 01:25:35
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You’ve never been taboo to a woman in your life. Except for all those restraining orders. Those are LIKE taboo.”
2012-06-08 01:25:36
@LalSox: @DrRubidium @MockTM is it just me, or does the blond look like the love child of Russell Crowe and Ricky Schroder?
2012-06-08 01:26:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You’ve sure got your philosophy. I’ll stick to my Latin grammar and B+ in social studies.”
2012-06-08 01:26:30
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Man, wandering alone in a forest… there’s GOT to be a gruesome death coming, right?
2012-06-08 01:27:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Hey, who left this perfectly good boat here in the middle of all these fallen trees?!
2012-06-08 01:27:14
@DrRubidium: #truth RT @LalSox: @DrRubidium @MockTM is it just me, or does the blond look like the love child of Russell Crowe and Ricky Schroder?
2012-06-08 01:27:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM Meanwhile, on the far side of the island, Dr. No is breaking ground on his evil lair, Dr. Moreau is cloning cat-people…
2012-06-08 01:27:42
@brx0: @MockTM Romantic interlude, star-crossed lovers, big taboo, etc.
2012-06-08 01:28:06
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm This movie is dragging on From Here to Eternity
2012-06-08 01:28:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM Hey man, “glub” means “glub”!
2012-06-08 01:28:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Synchronized swimming as flirting! Yup, this is definitely a Corman film.
2012-06-08 01:28:34
@DrRubidium: @MockTM island lady, the blond guy is no good.
2012-06-08 01:28:56
@brx0: @MockTM And some woo about angering the Shark God. I bet this isn’t the last we hear about that.
2012-06-08 01:29:22
@CyberLizard: @mocktm “Let me check those tonsils for you.”
2012-06-08 01:29:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM “How old are you?” “Barely legal. Why do you ask?”
2012-06-08 01:29:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “How old are you?” “Sixteen.” “Eighteen?”
2012-06-08 01:29:47
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm “Why is your skirt shorter than mine?”
2012-06-08 01:29:50
@CA7746: @MockTM You belong to Pua!
2012-06-08 01:30:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Hee hee. You’re so dreamy. Look a rock!” “Yeah yeah. Let’s kiss!” “Hee hee okay!”
2012-06-08 01:30:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You bring trouble! And probably syphilis!”
2012-06-08 01:31:36
@LalSox: @MockTM AHAHAHA “Watch it, its the old woman.”
2012-06-08 01:31:59
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Hey, it’s Aphex Twin, slowed down by a factor of 40.”
2012-06-08 01:32:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Leave girl alone! After this, trouble! With your liberal western values!”
2012-06-08 01:32:18
@DrRubidium: @MockTM ok, they’ve totally killed the girl. And you, blond guy, are to blame!
2012-06-08 01:32:21
@CA7746: @MockTM Ia! Ia!
2012-06-08 01:33:14
@CA7746: @MockTM No sign… IS sign too!
2012-06-08 01:33:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh sweet baby jebus she’s summoning the Elder Gods. NOW we’re fucked.
2012-06-08 01:33:54
@brx0: @MockTM Uh oh, Pua’s also in charge of divination. This kinda seems like a conflict of interest.
2012-06-08 01:34:06
@blakestacey: @MockTM “We are humble, Tangaroa! Well, except for Ruby, she’s vain as hell.”
2012-06-08 01:34:23
@brx0: @MockTM So the shark god apparently demands a human sacrifice. This is still a company island, right? Does OSHA know about this?
2012-06-08 01:34:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Tomorrow we make the ceremony. We make the purification. We fast and purge and drink nothing but expensive fruit juices.”
2012-06-08 01:34:56
@LalSox: @DrRubidium @MockTM something about itunes?
2012-06-08 01:35:36
@CyberLizard: @mocktm “Mahia bad!” I see the Christian missionaries have been there.
2012-06-08 01:36:03
@lousycanuck: @brx0 @MockTM Yeah, no kiddin’. Their HR department is probably flooded with complaints.
2012-06-08 01:36:07
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm Tropical Ken springs into action!
2012-06-08 01:36:15
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Mahia makes gods angry, but teenage boys in the audience happy in ways they do not understand and feel somehow wrong about.”
2012-06-08 01:36:32
@CA7746: @MockTM Hula won’t save you now!
2012-06-08 01:37:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM So our love interest character is going to be getting a… severance package… from the company. To appease the underwater CEO.
2012-06-08 01:37:14
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, he’s going to spear the shark god?
2012-06-08 01:37:18
@brx0: @MockTM re the ukulele music, @RennLou tells me “uke” is a double entendre in Japanese. Do I want to google this?
2012-06-08 01:37:40
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm “Ow! Hey, I wasn’t even gonna eat her!”
2012-06-08 01:37:41
@CyberLizard: @mocktm That’s right, stab the shark. Let blood into the water. Perfect plan.
2012-06-08 01:37:52
@lousycanuck: @MockTM BOOGIEBOARD MAN TO THE RESCUUUUUE
2012-06-08 01:37:53
@blakestacey: @MockTM Sacrifices to the shark god require a redundancy factor of 3.
2012-06-08 01:37:57
@CA7746: @MockTM What the-? She was awake and her legs worked.
2012-06-08 01:38:10
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Wooooo, cowabunga dudes! Uh, dudes?”
2012-06-08 01:38:44
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm I’m more interested in the shark’s story…
2012-06-08 01:38:48
@brx0: @MockTM And here’s the shark again. *Still* never in the same shot as humans. I feel cheated for some reason.
2012-06-08 01:38:48
@CA7746: @MockTM She’s not hurt, so I carried her all the way here.
2012-06-08 01:39:08
@brx0: @MockTM The underwater tiki god prop is kind of cool though. I wonder what ever became of it? eBay?
2012-06-08 01:39:17
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Weren’t three girls dumped in the water? Ah, fuck it. Imma save the one I have the best chance of getting laid with.
2012-06-08 01:39:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Ow ow ow walking barefoot over rocks ow ow ow”
2012-06-08 01:39:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “No! No! Leave her! Leave her!” “Listen lady, I’m just going to keep walking at a moderate pace.”
2012-06-08 01:39:30
@CA7746: @MockTM Shark gods, have mercy. We surrender!
2012-06-08 01:39:33
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm Remember what happens when she waves the white flag? Eh? Yeah, me neither
2012-06-08 01:40:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And she regains consciousness for exactly how long it takes to say “Chris”.
2012-06-08 01:40:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM Uh-oh, she’s running up the…grey on grey flag!
2012-06-08 01:40:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It’s a Rorschach flag. It means whatever the plot needs it to mean.
2012-06-08 01:40:39
@CyberLizard: @mocktm “Mahia go with Chris anywhere. Except Detroit. That place is a dump.”
2012-06-08 01:41:10
@blakestacey: @MockTM Wow, I can really see them developing a bond based on shared interests.
2012-06-08 01:41:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Mahia go with Chris anywhere. As long as Chris pays. Mahia no have credit left and plane rides expensive.”
2012-06-08 01:41:48
@DrRubidium: @MockTM there better be a gruesome death soon. It better involve this old she-devil with the tiki fetish
2012-06-08 01:42:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM You think she’d be happy about them leaving early, wouldn’t you?
2012-06-08 01:42:36
@brx0: @MockTM Is it really a good idea to go back to the village & then leave our heroine alone right after that human sacrifice stuff?
2012-06-08 01:43:39
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm girl fight, woo!
2012-06-08 01:43:59
@lousycanuck: @MockTM What’s Mahia doing in the guest house? And why is Pua speaking English to her?
2012-06-08 01:44:29
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Well, drowning and feeding to the shark didn’t work. Guess I’ll have to smother her with the pillow.”
2012-06-08 01:44:37
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Tum te tum te tum…”
2012-06-08 01:44:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh come on Mahia, you can take her.
2012-06-08 01:45:01
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Hey, no means no!
2012-06-08 01:45:01
@brx0: @MockTM Impressive bit of canoe building there, gotta say. Fast, too.
2012-06-08 01:45:43
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Um, Chris, you are a lousy boxer.
2012-06-08 01:45:50
@CA7746: @MockTM Crotch shot.
2012-06-08 01:45:54
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm the island has an office?
2012-06-08 01:46:13
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We’ll have to take her with us. That way you’re stealing a woman, and so am I.”
2012-06-08 01:47:20
@CyberLizard: @mocktm “Only one thing we can do: take the old she-devil in our overcrowded hand-made canoe. And drown her”
2012-06-08 01:47:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM It’s surprisingly easy to remember that the dark-haired one started the movie as a thief and murderer.
2012-06-08 01:47:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM “The boat’s barely big enough for two. Let’s take four!”
2012-06-08 01:47:54
@CA7746: @MockTM The stock footage fleet pursues.
2012-06-08 01:47:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Housekeeping. AAAH AAH AAAH!!”
2012-06-08 01:48:05
@brx0: @MockTM “Map in office”. This really isn’t the wildest corner of the South Seas, is it?
2012-06-08 01:48:23
@blakestacey: @MockTM Pretty sure she just screamed “wiki, wiki!” Hooray for Hawaiilippine Islands!
2012-06-08 01:49:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “It’s our only chance! We’ll have to try it! Don’t worry, we’re protagonists.”
2012-06-08 01:50:10
@CA7746: @MockTM I feed you… to shark.
2012-06-08 01:51:01
@blakestacey: @MockTM Kevin Costner’s coming up the other way, looking for Dryland…
2012-06-08 01:51:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM This doesn’t feel right for a Corman film. Where’s the travel montage?
2012-06-08 01:51:07
@brx0: @MockTM Yeah, let’s get closer to the deadly reef for various contrived reasons.
2012-06-08 01:51:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh, Pua’s giving Mahia the “you’re so ungrateful” routine. Mighta sold it too, if you hadn’t just tried to KILL HER.
2012-06-08 01:51:53
@CA7746: @MockTM * strut strut strut *
2012-06-08 01:52:01
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm “What? I can’t…what?”
2012-06-08 01:52:17
@CyberLizard: @lousycanuck @MockTM I know, right? There’s not enough walking.
2012-06-08 01:52:42
@blakestacey: @MockTM There’s just something about the way Chris swings his arms when he walks which just screams… “pompous ass!”
2012-06-08 01:53:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM How many encounters with sharks have they had, and yet MurderDude just made it back to the island from the reef unscathed?
2012-06-08 01:54:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I’m’a hide behind this patch of three blades of grass. ISLAND NINJA.”
2012-06-08 01:54:27
@blakestacey: @MockTM “He hit a man”? Either the movie forgot its own opening scene, or Lee lied to his own brother. Who wants to bet?
2012-06-08 01:54:48
@brx0: @MockTM I’m the good guy, honest, I was only helping my evil gun-running brother run from the law.
2012-06-08 01:54:58
@CyberLizard: @MockTM Look, he’s got a bag of shiny white balls. And one of pearls.
2012-06-08 01:55:20
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Housekeepaaargh.”
2012-06-08 01:55:24
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Housekeeping! … Aaaagh!”
2012-06-08 01:55:25
@lousycanuck: @blakestacey JINX @MockTM
2012-06-08 01:55:40
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Now, if I only had a place to stuff these pearls!”
2012-06-08 01:55:51
@brx0: @MockTM Curious how the blond brother is always the good guy in this sort of movie.
2012-06-08 01:56:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM she’s certainly resourceful. Only four hours to realise that rocks can have sharp edges!
2012-06-08 01:56:32
@brx0: @MockTM Aaand, the no-good pearl thieving dark haired guy is up to something…
2012-06-08 01:56:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Now that my hands are unbound, I can walk again!”
2012-06-08 01:56:44
@CA7746: @MockTM Also Mahia. But mostly pearls!
2012-06-08 01:56:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM Chris and Mahia will be left on the reef to repopulate humanity, right?
2012-06-08 01:57:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Pua’s awfully dry for having just swam back to the island.
2012-06-08 01:57:33
@brx0: @MockTM And the unattended prisoner escapes easily. These guys really suck at the whole “desperate wanted men” thing.
2012-06-08 01:58:06
@CA7746: @MockTM Ahem, bad guy’s the only one NOT carrying a knife…
2012-06-08 01:58:19
@Rowsdower30: @Mocktm Girl fight, woot!
2012-06-08 01:58:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Lee is basically the worst fighter I’ve ever seen for a murderer.
2012-06-08 01:59:04
@CA7746: @MockTM Haven’t they been carrying knives the whole movie?
2012-06-08 01:59:04
@blakestacey: @MockTM One light slap and Chris goes pinwheeling back! OUR HERO!
2012-06-08 01:59:17
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm My Bieber hair will save me!
2012-06-08 01:59:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ohhh, hitting him with a bag of pearls. You better hope the stitching on that is REAL good, Lee, or you’ll lose your raison-d’etre.
2012-06-08 01:59:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM Huh. Just when I was about to yell at him to club Chris with the pearls. OMG THE MOVIE IS READING MY MIND
2012-06-08 02:00:07
@brx0: @MockTM This is the part where the shirtless guys start oil wrestling, isn’t it?
2012-06-08 02:00:13
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm “We’re gonna need a bigger boat”
2012-06-08 02:00:17
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Lee: worst. Sailor. Ever.
2012-06-08 02:00:28
@lousycanuck: @MockTM See, Lee’s first mistake was not knowing how to pilot a boat without falling out.
2012-06-08 02:00:59
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm *sigh* I, the woman, will save your manly butt again
2012-06-08 02:01:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM Why do I suddenly have the feeling Lee has killed more people through sheer ineptitude than actual murdering?
2012-06-08 02:01:27
@lousycanuck: @MockTM How the hell does she know that specific shark is Tangaroa?
2012-06-08 02:01:40
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Oh, FFS, can’t the shark eat someone already?!
2012-06-08 02:01:51
@Rowsdower30: @mocktm the sharks couldn’t be more disinterested if these people were made of tofu
2012-06-08 02:02:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM Meanwhile, in another shark tank somewhere…
2012-06-08 02:02:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Whoa, Mahia just touched the shark. It’s, like, a MINNOW.
2012-06-08 02:02:28
@brx0: @MockTM Shark attack! (Shark *still* not in the same shot as people.)
2012-06-08 02:02:36
@CA7746: @MockTM They were lost at sea, the end.
2012-06-08 02:03:17
@brx0: @MockTM Ooh, brief shot of a much smaller shark! Being allegedly stabbed!
2012-06-08 02:03:31
@CyberLizard: @mocktm Wait. That’s it?! Roger, WTF?!
2012-06-08 02:03:40
@blakestacey: @MockTM “All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by…”
2012-06-08 02:03:41
@brx0: @MockTM It seems the evil brother’s been nuzzled by a dogfish. Well, that’s that, then.
2012-06-08 02:04:01
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We’ll leave evil behind. And seek our fortunes as pirates of the high seas.”
2012-06-08 02:04:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM And the moral of tonight’s movie: blood may be thicker than water, but not thicker than sharks! … yeah, let’s go with that.
2012-06-08 02:04:42
@brx0: @MockTM “The tide is high, the wind is strong, we’ll leave evil behind us.” Truer power ballad lyrics were never spoken.
2012-06-08 02:04:43
@CyberLizard: @MockTM “The tide is high and I’m holding on. I wanna be your number one.”
2012-06-08 02:05:55
@brx0: @MockTM Aaaaand, the end. Sadly they never filmed the sequel where our heroine tries to adapt to life in 1950s suburbia.
2012-06-08 02:06:38
@CA7746: @MockTM Sync note: I fussed with my seek bar at the narrated map (6:13), but otherwise managed to resist the urge.
2012-06-08 02:06:41
@CA7746: @MockTM Note to self: Add a ‘start exactly at 9:00′ trigger to the live script.
2012-06-08 02:06:49
@DrRubidium: @MockTM not enough people died and the plot wasn’t absurd enough. I’m disappointed, Corman! :D
2012-06-08 02:08:01
@CyberLizard: @MockTM It’s been a pleasure, folks. I’m Audi 5000.
2012-06-08 02:09:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Let’s rate the title. She — lots. Gods — nope. Sharks — okay MIDGET sharks. Reef — check. 62.5%.
2012-06-08 02:11:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Well done folks — we’ve survived yet another one. Transcript sometime in the morning.
2012-06-08 02:12:38
@comalliwrites: @DrRubidium @mocktm Is this like a MST3K experience? I am a bit snark-deprived!
2012-06-08 02:16:45
@brx0: @MockTM I suspect a workers’ revolt against the super-evil Island Company would have made for a more interesting movie.
2012-06-08 02:18:33
@DrRubidium: @comalliwrites @mocktm it is!
2012-06-08 02:19:33
@DrRubidium: Felt good to be back for @MockTM! Missed @szvan & @benzvan though.
2012-06-08 02:21:10

Comments

  1. CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain says

    Twitter n00b, here.
    Is there an-in browser setting that lets us see all the @MockTM replies, or is everyone tweeting blind then reading the transcript later?
     
    The dev API can, so my work-in-progress live script caught it all that night. But I’m wondering what the normal mockery experience is like.
     
    I’ve gathered @replies are hidden to any third-party who’s not following both the replier and the repliee…

    @LalSox: @DrRubidium @MockTM is there a hashtag for this thing?
    @DrRubidium: @LalSox no, we just tweet at @MockTM so as to not overwhelm our followers

    Sounds like overwhelm = flood (as opposed to burden), which fits with being blind.

  2. says

    Your best bet is a Twitter client like Seesmic or Tweetdeck. Any client that can both put a search into a column (searching for @MockTM), and does live-updating, would work. Polly on Linux is decent for this purpose, but my netbook hasn’t the RAM to keep it up for long.

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