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May 27 2012

Obama’s post-Rapture speech

We’re just going to have to get serious here. Hail Satan.

Comments are disabled on the Youtube video, naturally. So feel free to make your comments here instead!

It’s funny how just anyone can now put words, even grossly libelous ones, into famous people’s mouths, with absolutely no skill or grammar prerequisites. I am very tempted to purchase an account for a month just so I can use the Jesus actor to say “the preceding video is ridiculous, and the person who made it knows nothing of my work.” It would be a decent rebuttal for ridiculous nonsense like this one — you could post it on Youtube as a video response even where comments are disabled.

And another that’s a little more atheistic: “Look, guys, I’m not real. I probably never existed as a real person, and even if I did, I’m sure I’m nothing like the guy you people are worshipping. Furthermore, lying about reality in my name is pretty fucking stupid. So please, cut it the hell out, for Christ’s sake.”

Hat tip to Christian Nightmares.

9 comments

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  1. 1
    Daniel Fincke

    well that was looney tunes.

  2. 2
    'Tis Himself

    One thing I’ve always wondered about Jesus. How did a Middle Eastern Jew end up with a Hispanic name?

  3. 3
    Daisies and Shit

    *sighs* I used to teach this crap to children. I told them that alien abductions were a lie of Satan that the world’s leaders would use to explain away the rapture and unite all nations under the one world government, and that the mark of the beast would be justified as a way to make sure we knew if further abductions took place.

    On the plus side, I’m living proof that some fundies DO snap out of it.

  4. 4
    CompulsoryAccount7746, Sky Captain

    If you don’t take the mark, you can’t buy or sell.
    And you get… prosicurted? What’s that?
    Is it fun?

  5. 5
    Christoph Burschka

    One thing I’ve always wondered about Jesus. How did a Middle Eastern Jew end up with a Hispanic name?

    Well, it became a Hispanic name because Spain and its former colonies are all raging Catholic. It’s Hebrew, but got transliterated via Greek and Latin.

  6. 6
    Christoph Burschka

    (And on second thought my sarcasm meter finally decided to wake up.)

  7. 7
    birgerjohansson

    This is bloody ridicilous. Everyone knows it is Azatoth, N’yar-lathotep and Ctul’hu who calls the shots and they don’t have any use for a silly rapture.
    Besides, when they return to Earth humans will get eaten, which is not in any way similar to the rapture myth.
    — — — — —
    What happened to cool animations, like Max Headroom? I liked him introducing music videos, back when the concept was new and cool.

  8. 8
    abstruse

    it makes very little sense to me…

  9. 9
    terilyn55

    Saw something amazing on TV today on one of those “Judge Judy” court programs. A Fundie was suing an insurance salesman who had sold her a policy that would take care of her pets after The Rapture. This was the spin: When all the christians are sucked up to heaven, their pets will be left behind to starve in their homes, so this insurance would buy “an army of atheists” who would go door to door after the rapture and rescue said pets (for a fee)–after all, we are mercenary,I suppose, eh? Anyway, I think this is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, but if anyone out there is looking for furture work…? (not sure what the training would entail for rapture-specific work?)

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