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Apr 10 2012

Pat Robertson: “Man up” and give money to the church against wife’s wishes

Oh yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s the kinda take-charge attitude that’ll get you divorced in a hurry. Wife’s not a Christian? Family budget is in the red? Wife more concerned about feeding the kids than about your spiritual needs? Worried that God won’t like you if you don’t give ten percent of your earnings to the church? Well our buddy Pat Robertson says: put God before your wife and kids, and tithe anyway!

Pat is just so precious with his “man is the spiritual leader of the house” and “God really only likes people who sacrifice 10% of their money to a church that cares more about your tithing than feeding the kids”.

I wonder if Pat tithed 10% of the money he made off that slave-driven Liberian gold mine.

12 comments

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  1. 1
    'Tis Himself

    Pat Robertson is a billionaire because thousands of people sent him money so they could curry favor with Jebus (or say Robertson told them). Of course he’s going to tell the guy to give money to the church. Do you think Learjets are cheap?

  2. 2
    Aliasalpha

    Hmm, that gives me an idea, I’ll undercut him! MY made up god will be happy & reward you after you die if you send him (through me, of course) only 1% of your income.

    I’ll corner the market & eventually end up with 1% of the income of the whole planet! Its genius, people will be happy pretending they’ll be okay after they die, I’ll live like a king & I’ll invest any remaining money into science!

  3. 3
    Jason Thibeault

    All hail L.Ron Alpha!

  4. 4
    Desert Son, OM

    If nothing else, it would have been a fascinating historical footnote if, regarding the issue of ecumenical finances advocated by this supposed god and supposed god’s followers, either text or tablet had been lettered with something truly interesting, like:

    “Yea, thou shalt of the firstfruits of thy labor set aside a low, low rate of 6.72491% APR.”

    “Verily I say unto thee, thou has given as the law has said, but she has given all that she has less that portion maintained in escrow.”

    “Render unto Caeser that which is Caesar’s in a lump sum or with this easy monthly payment plan.”

    Still learning,

    Robert

  5. 5
    feralboy12

    I wonder if Pat tithed 10% of the money he made off that slave-driven Liberian gold mine.

    Of course he did. He sent it to Pat Robertson.

  6. 6
    otrame

    @ 5

    I wonder if Pat tithed 10% of the money he made off that slave-driven Liberian gold mine.

    Of course he did. He sent it to Pat Robertson.

    Considering that he pays no taxes, tithing must be pretty easy.

    Which brings up a question. Do pastors have to pay taxes on the income they get from the businesses they paid for with tithed money?

  7. 7
    bahrfeldt

    @5- Absolutely, or at least to the “church” he owns and loots.

    @6- “Which brings up a question. Do pastors have to pay taxes on the income they get from the businesses they paid for with tithed money?” If the “church” is or owns the business or the business is otherwise tax exempt (charity, educational or some other fiction) it pays no taxes. The pastor is liable for taxes on his salary from the exempt organization, but various “allowances”, legit or otherwise, are not, because the government is afraid to examine any large religious group. Like Falwell sending the church plane to bring his daughter home from school which would be taxable to her.

    Robertson has called for extreme divine punishment of Peyton Manning and/or the Denver Broncos for sending Tebow to New Jersey, knowing full well (unless he’s high and/or senile) that sending him to the biggest media market is Jesus’ plan. This proves, once again, that Robertson works only for his one true lord and master, Satan.

  8. 8
    robb

    sorry, off topic Jason:

    Canada is going to have glow in the dark dinosaur quarters? no fair!

  9. 9
    Crazyharp81602

    Years ago, I called up the 700 Club to ask for prayers for God to bless me with a harp after I saw videos from the 700 Club of prayers being allegedly answered coming from people who claimed to be under some circumstances that can only be solved through prayer and intervention… Boy, what a gullible, stupid fool I was. After reading articles like this one, am I ever glad I choose to wise up and not fall for such Robertson – style scams and swindles again.

  10. 10
    baal

    Add this clip to the list of the in fact harms of religion. It’s immoral to send $$ to a mega rich $$ when you have unmet needs. It’s also a broken mentality that insists on hierarchy as the only model for being a family. Last, and for our republican friends, it’s bad for the economy. The single family spending has a higher multiplier effect than the spending of the 700 club ministries.

  11. 11
    Erin

    0:43 “You need to push forward and your wife will come along.”

    Considering they’re arguing, it’s obvious the wife is not some meek little follower. Therefore, it’s more like, “If you push forward your wife will push back and you may find yourself on the other side of a locked door.”

    Let him be the spiritual leader all he wants but for the love of all that is rational, let he be their financial leader since she obviously understands that filling the Church’s pockets is not more important than taking care of their children.

  12. 12
    smrnda

    A guy I know who used to go to church said that his pastor was very big on preaching about ‘the tithe’ and rather than take on real issues like the fact that wages have stagnated for a long time while expenses had not, the preacher would tell the congregation stories about how you actually tithed your 10% whether you thought you could afford it or not, somehow money would magically appear in your life.

    The guy told me later on the preacher turned to selling risky investments and then went to hit up his former congregation.

    What I don’t get is this – when you’ve got Christian millionaires and billionaires out there, why are they getting on the little folks to scrape together their loose change? I mean, this is Marx and not Jesus, but didn’t the Bible say something like ‘to each according to their abilities and to each according to their needs?’ I think Jesus said ‘to whom much is given, much is required.’ Instead you’ve got a guy like Pat Robertson, who clearly has more money than he could burn through if he tried, telling people who are hard that rather than the church helping them out, they’ve got to give more.

    I mean, what do churches do with the money they take in if they are getting on all the people without much money to donate more? Isn’t Christianity supposed to be a voluntary wealth redistribution scheme?

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