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Dec 03 2011

Cain captured by Pokéball, endorses Mewtoo

Herman Cain quoted from a source he identified as “the Pokemon movie” in a speech suspending his presidential campaign Saturday.

“I believe these words came from the Pokemon movie,” Cain said. “Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It’s never easy when there’s so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me.”
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He continued: “Just look inside and you will find just what you can do.”

In previous speeches, Cain has attributed the quotation to “a poet.”

You cannot make this shit up.

Between that and his SimCity-ripoff tax plan, I might have voted for him even in spite of the facts that a) I’m Canadian, and b) he would pretty much have destroyed your country’s economy. Video game references rule.

6 comments

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  1. 1
    Crommunist

    I guess c) he’s a scumbag who exploited his position of authority to sexually harass women and then, when they came forward, lied about and smeared them as opportunistic sluts doesn’t really rate, eh? :P

  2. 2
    Jason Thibeault

    Oh, is that what he was doing? I thought he was playing “gotta catch ‘em all” with women.

  3. 3
    'Tis Himself

    Cain has quit campaigning so he can spend time with your wife.

  4. 4
    VeritasKnight

    Imagine if he was president….

    “President Cain today announced a national War on Team Rocket. The mysterious criminal organization, best known for their association with purple hair and talking cats, will now be the target of a national task force. Cain commented that ‘We won’t stop until we defeat Team Rocket and win the Pokemon League.’ Children aged 7-15 are said to be supportive of this innovative stand on Pokecrime.”

  5. 5
    frankb

    Did you know that Cain’s middle name is Asscachtum.

  6. 6
    Sheesh

    Cain wants to be the very best, like no one ever was.
    To catch them all is his real test, and to train them is his cause!

    (Apologies!)

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