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Nov 03 2011

Alien entities love football!

Undeniable proof of alien spacecraft buzzing St. Louis Cathedral has been provided by AOL and the Huffington Post. The video in question:

Look at those things flying around being all super-quick and rod-like! They’ve just GOTTA be alien spacecraft! And the only explanation those stupid skeptics have is that they’re insects. Insects!

“As I reviewed one of the tapes, I noticed something streak past my camera viewfinder and thought at first it was just a bird or insect,” Escamilla told The Huffington Post.

“Looking at each frame of the footage again, I knew it was something more unusual. My wife called them ‘rods’ as they sort of looked like some kind of life form you’d see in a microscope.”

Since that time, Escamilla has collected hundreds of taped examples from around the world of these so-called rods, which vary in physical form: Some look like centipedes with appendages and others have no appendages but appear to have lights on top of them.

Skeptics maintain there’s nothing extraordinary about all of this — the objects, they say, are merely insects flying very close to the camera lens.

HAH! As though there isn’t a more reasonable explanation than INSECTS!

Like, say, camera manipulation.

More intelligent skeptics have sourced a better bit of footage that provides a more likely and more reasonable explanation for the crazy zipping lights that nobody else on the telecast seemed to freak out over.

Why do I call these other skeptics more intelligent? Well, because better data is available when you’re not looking at a camcorder being held up to see a super-saturated version of the data that the live audience would have seen. The biggest clue that this is perfectly normal and reasonable is in the clock on the face of the cathedral.

Knowing as we do that camera footage does not necessarily reflect realtime and with the corroborating evidence of that clock face, can you guess what the MOST reasonable skeptical position is for those of us here on Planet Earth? And what do you figure it’ll take to get AOL and HuffPo to retract that article?

5 comments

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  1. 1
    Composer99

    I’d guess meteors, myself.

  2. 2
    Jim Baerg

    Composer99:
    That would have been my guess until I noticed from the clock on the 2nd version of the video that this is a time lapse.

    Now my best guess would be airplanes in the distance.

  3. 3
    Jason Thibeault

    No, obviously it’s gigantic distant insects with landing lights.

  4. 4
    ogremk5

    -begin Poe-

    OK Jason, how do you think the insects evolved landing lights. You think fireflies just grew bigger and bigger until their butts were 300W halogens?

    I want to see the mutation sequence that resulted in bugs with landing lights.

    -end Poe-

  5. 5
    Kevin, 友好火猫 (Friendly Fire Cat)

    No I’ve got a better explanation.

    UFOs that speed up time! How else do you think they move so darn quickly? The cathedral just happened to be caught in the temporal displacement, that’s all.

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