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Jul 19 2009

Here’s tons of evidence and investigations! Reply: “but, we want evidence!”

Silly Kitty. Birthers, like all conspiracy theorists, don’t care about facts or evidence. Nice try. If the evidence doesn’t say what you want it to, just pretend it doesn’t exist or totally make shit up.

Birthers are asshats. The Daily Beast reporter called it — you guys are NUTS.

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  1. 1
    sbh

    If it were any other subject I’d be convinced that CNN must have deliberately picked the two craziest proponents out there to put on, but as far as I can tell there are no remotely sane birthers. I wonder if maybe we ought to take Alan Keyes up on his offer to supply us with proof that he was born in New York City.

  2. 2
    Tyler DiPietro

    What’s funny about the birthers is that they have a whole array of backup theories even if every single claim they make the birth certificate is false. The ORLY? lady says at the tail end that Obama needs to have two American born parents to be eligible for the presidency. Well, if that’s the case, why even bother with the birth certificate bullshit? Like with any good conspiracy theory, the goalposts are on skies.

  3. 3
    Jason Thibeault

    Sure, Tyler. If by funny you mean DRIVES YOU FUCKING INSANE. How many ways should a guy have to prove they’re born in the USA (i was… booorn in the u-s-aaaaa) before you just give up that angle of attack? Meanwhile John McCain, his chief rival in the electoral season, was born in freaking Grenada!

    I can’t help but imagine her name is Oily Taint. It’s crass but that’s just how I see it written everywhere. ORLY? works too though. Thankfully there are no frequent contributors to news programs named NO U.

    Well… hmm. Bill O’Reilly (ORLY?) might count.

  4. 4
    DuWayne

    Oh shit Tyler, WTF are you doing here????

    Since you stopped, you really aught to check out the “What is Love” post, which it totes big fun for a motherfucker like you…

    Jason –

    I tagged you with a motherfucking meme!!!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

  5. 5
    sbh

    Yeah, at least one of the birther sites I looked at insisted that to be a natural born citizen a person had to be born in the continental United States, and that both parents had to be citizens. By his logic, then, Obama would be disqualified twice over, by being born in Hawaii and having only one parent who was a citizen. He at least gave citations of law to support his claims, though I think they were just for show, as they mostly seemed to be irrelevant.

    The moment referenced in the title was classic, though. I can only suppose that Keyes had his answer ready to go in advance, and went ahead and used it in spite of its inanity. The birth announcements in the newspapers alone completely refute the claim of Obama’s not being born in Hawaii, and are not in any way “hearsay evidence”, whatever Keyes meant to say by that. Of course, I long ago gave up on the hope of ever hearing Keyes say anything vaguely rational.

  1. 6
    Lousy Canuck » I’m converted — now I’m a birther too.

    [...] a birth announcement was put in the Bible, like, what, two thousand years ago or something? Pfft. We want evidence! But where is Jesus’ birth certificate? Surely the Son of God should be able to produce a birth [...]

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