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May 22 2009

Mancow waterboarded, folds after 6 secs

Those conservative talk radio hosts are all hat and no cattle. They regularly claim waterboarding isn’t torture, that it’s “just getting a little wet”, or comparable to a “hazing”. Sean Hannity said he’d do it for charity to prove it wasn’t so bad, then backed down before honouring his commitment. Even Christopher Hitchens, right on religion but absolutely fucking wrong about anything related to the Iraq War, waterboarded himself to prove it wasn’t so bad and changed his tune.

This time around, Erich “Mancow” Muller offered himself to be waterboarded again to try to prove it’s not all that bad. And so, yet again another swaggering asshole comes off looking either like a crybaby, or retarded in his original assertions — for those of us on the side of reason and civil rights, win-win! At that, Mancow lasted less than half the “average” time it takes to break people (that being 14 seconds). Bear in mind this was controlled such that he knew he would have the power to say “hold, enough” — hell, he wasn’t even roughly dragged from his bed, stripped, strapped to the table and had the table tilted back, he just had a cloth and a pitcher of water — and he still couldn’t last the average, still called it torture after experiencing only a miniscule sliver of a fraction of what Cheney’s torture program has doled out over the past several years.

I hope people understand now that not only was waterboarding wholly unnecessary to perform on anyone involved in this War On a Particular Tactic, but also that it is torture, in violation of the Geneva Convention, and just plain fucking wrong. Remember, ALL of the information obtained from Khalid Sheikh Mohammed came from BEFORE being waterboarded, then they went on to waterboard him ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THREE TIMES IN ONE MONTH. I’m sorely tempted to make use of the old Blink HTML tag for that last all-caps phrase. You got nothing from waterboarding him except to make a man feel the insufferable, insanity-inducing pain of dry-drowning very nearly two hundred times in one month. Not to mention possibly requiring resuscitation from the brink of death any number of those times!

And Mancow, one of your guys, couldn’t last six seconds.

So can you please just accept that waterboarding is fucking torture so we can move along to prosecuting your heroes for fucking war crimes?

Hat tip to Pickles via Twitter.

2 comments

  1. 1
    Dan J

    I was so glad to see this. My wife and I watched the video of Mancow’s “waterboarding” a couple hours ago. Priceless. Keep in mind that this man knew that it would stop when he wanted it to stop. Detainees at Guantanamo had no such luxury. Mancow was in control of the situation, yet it was still unbearable.  I’m glad he went through with it (when people like Hannity won’t), and very glad he was honest enough to admit that he was wrong about it.

    Waterboarding is torture. End of discussion.

  2. 2
    Jason Thibeault

    Agreed.  Schadenfreude, baby.  I don’t want to see anyone waterboarded, but for fuck’s sake, if you volunteer for it and act like it’s nothing, then fold like you got a 2 and a 7, you got what was coming to you.

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