Dudette, you’re getting a Della


Dell has apparently decided that their laptop lines could use a boost in sales — one that can only be achieved by slapping some powder-colored shells on them and marketing them to women as portable digital recipe books, on their new site called, I shit you not, “Della“.

della
Don’t worry though ladies, Dell has your technical issues covered with such hard-hitting “tech tips” as this:

3. Get moving: Tools like Gyminee help you track workouts and reach your fitness goals. You can even map out new running routes via sites like Map my run.

Yeah, they packaged in some fitness software to help you shed some pounds! There’s also a note at the top of the “tech tips” page stating that the page has changed recently due to user comments — I’m assuming because of the original tech tips list, as documented by the MSNBC article above:

the site’s “tech tips” includes a feature, “Seven Unexpected Ways a Netbook Can Change Your Life,” which starts out by saying, “Once you get beyond how cute they are, you’ll find that netbooks can do a lot more than check your e-mail.”

Among those uses: Finding recipes online (Wow! I didn’t know you could do that!), making “your mini … your meditation buddy as you take mini-breaks throughout your day (schedule them, with reminders, on your calendar),” and using a netbook “to track calories, carbs and protein with ease, watch online fitness videos, map your running routes and more.”

Okay, so you’re quietly scrubbing the sillier stuff, good on you Dell. That’s admitting you screwed this one up bigtime. What’ll REALLY turn this whole thing around is if you’d get rid of the “accessorizing” options like purse-shaped laptop totes, the flowery shells, and, oh, maybe, stop making shitty laptops!

Hat tip to Dan J.

Comments

  1. Dan J says

    Oddly enough, today I assisted my boss (a woman in her early 60’s who happens to be the best boss I’ve ever had) in picking out a netbook. She’s got a nice little Dell, and the only accommodation made in the name of aesthetics was that she get it in “cherry red”. I spent a bit of time getting rid of some trial-ware, installing AVG, AIM, etc. (I’m definitely not letting her pay the extra $40 for Best Buy’s “optimization”.) She’s quite happy with it. Her primary use for the machine? Keeping up with her granddaughters on AIM, friends and family on Facebook, and personal e-mail.

  2. says

    Cherry red is a far cry from those new pastel colors, or those execrable flower prints.  The original Della site before they started messing with it, obviously did practically everything short of embedding a makeup compact into the LCD to try to appeal to the stereotypical women.  I’m glad they’re editing it now, but hell, it only seems to be in response to backlash — nobody within the company had any idea real women might not necessarily need to be hand-held through technology.  I admit there are still people who do need to be hand-held, obviously of the older generation, but I’d say it’s as prevalent on both sides of the gender divide.

    As for shovelware, that’s horrendous.  I wonder how long it’ll be before the companies that subsidize every copy of Windows by buying spots on your desktop for their trial crap, ends up suing the tech folks at Best Buy for not only making their investment moot, but making money off of doing so.  I also wonder whether or not I can get away with charging similar prices of the people around these parts for basic maintenance like that, give that apparently people are willing to pay.

  3. Jodi says

    Wow.
    I don’t know what else to say other than that’s really rather insulting.

    Seriously, I’m trying to put my thoughts together on this but my brain is just being overrun with big flashing ‘That is so wrong and insulting.” signs.

  4. Dan J says

    I find it difficult to comprehend how they came up with this sort of drivel when there should be tech-savvy women working at Dell. Why did none of them speak up and say, “Hey, that’s not how things are in the real world.” I suppose it’s still the same situation as in many other companies: The people making the big decisions like that are very far removed from the real-world application of their products and services. Most people like that are far removed from reality in general.

  5. says

    It would appear the Della site is now offline — giving 404s, meaning it’s been moved or deleted.  Perhaps we bloggers shamed them into pulling it.  I hope so.

  6. says

    Now I know that the people at Dell know as much about web development as they do about marketing. 404s are bad. 301s are good.

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