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Nov 03 2012

Go To A Catholic Church Tomorrow and Help Hold Back the Darkness.

Learning moment. In Kentucky, and in many other states, it is perfectly legal to record a conversation, or a meeting, where the one doing the recording is, without the knowledge of other parties to the conversation or meeting, a participant in the conversation or present at the meeting. This is not necessarily the law in all states. Further, while a lawyer is not permitted to advise someone to record a conversation or meeting without letting all involved know they are being recorded, it is okay for a lawyer to tell you that such a recording is usually perfectly admissible as evidence in court. In that there has, of late, been a great increase in the number of tiny little recorders available all over the place, and in that many cell phones have a feature called “voice memo,” or something like that, and can even make videos with sound, it seemed a good idea to tell this to readers.

Everyone who thinks the Enlightenment was a good idea, and who values separation of church and state, should go to church tomorrow—two days before we elect a President of the United States. The reason for this is to get people to serve as witnesses to the fact that many Catholic churches, and many right wing fundangelical churches, are telling those attending that church who to vote for. Yes, they really are. This practice is completely unlawful and a blatant violation of the requirement that churches not get into the business of politics unless they want to lose their tax exempt status and pay taxes on their property and thus wipe out our national debt.

Remember to set your clocks back an hour tonight. And remember, for your own safety’s sake, to help preventing the clocks from being set back some ten centuries or so.

Edwin
© 2012 by Edwin Kagin

6 comments

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  1. 1
    d.c.wilson

    While we’re setting our clocks back an hour, the republicans continue with their plans to set their clocks back five hundred years.

  2. 2
    nohellbelowus

    11:00 AM PST

    I’m at Cornerstone Mega-church in the Bay Area of California, using their Internet, and following your instructions, Edwin (check the IP address if you don’t believe me).

    This place is a cattle farm. Hundreds upon hundreds of people swarming to the parking lot after the service (thankfully) ends, dragging their screaming youngsters in carriages and vehicles of every sort imaginable, or simply by their Christian ears. Many of them hoof it into the adjacent coffee shop, where I’m trying to keep my head down.

    99.5% of them are white, Caucasian, middle-class, and all of them are ignorant. Robots. Natalie Merchant begins cooing into my (heathen) ears:

    Makeup on their faces
    actors took their
    places next to me

    (Was Natalie a Christian? The thought horrifies me for a moment.)

    The service was broadcast on ubiquitous large-screen televisions, located even outside of the auditorium itself, and thus the preacher’s silver-haired head loomed over us all for a solid hour, like something out of a George Orwell novel.

    And yes, the sermon contained several references to the upcoming election, and let’s just say that a certain African-American incumbent was not the target of hosannas and/or praise from on-high.

    Wait… hold on, Edwin… I’m going to have to sign off… a sticky-fingered toddler is fascinated with my laptop, and he’s drawing his mother’s attention… oh no… she’s looking at my screen…

    EDWIN KAGAN??? That godless monster?!?” She’s screaming at the top of her lungs! ARRRGHHHAAARRRRGGHH DIE ATHEIST SCUMMMMMM!!!”

    *fade to black*

  3. 3
    nohellbelowus

    Yes, Edwin, she even mispelled your last name.

    *Goes back to heaven*

  4. 4
    nohellbelowus

    “Misspelled” even.

    *Only bibles in heaven, no dictionaries*

  5. 5
    Dairy

    You’re an idiot nohell

  6. 6
    nohellbelowus

    Sticks and stones!

    A timeless lesson, evidently lost on 99.9% of FtB commenters.

    *sigh*

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