What if we’re wrong? » « Lock up your chocolate, people!

Squirrels attacking children to steal their lunches.

Well this is rather alarming.

“BRITAIN’S fattest squirrels” are running riot in a country park where they have started attacking CHILDREN to steal food.

The chubby rodents have bulked up due to a mild winter where they have feasted on snacks left on the frost-free ground.

Okay first of all, even I don’t think we should be fat-shaming the squirrels (or other creatures for that matter).

Second, DON’T LITTER. WTF, British people?

Sophie Renouf, 23, was enjoying a walk in the woods with her son Finley when he was attacked by a mob of six squirrels.

I submit that the correct term is not a mob, but a squadron of six squirrels.

The three-year-old was feeding one of the critters before he was targeted.

!!!

Sophie, of Redruth, Cornwall, said: “There was literally one squirrel there and my son, as you would, fed him as usual.

JFC SMH.

Sophie now wants to warn others about the dangers of feeding wild squirrels.

Yeah well good luck with that Sophie.

What if we’re wrong? » « Lock up your chocolate, people!

Comments

  1. kestrel says

    Yeah… no kidding, good luck…

    Friend of mine was in Yellowstone National Park at Old Faithful geyser when she saw a lady feeding a squirrel, and pointed out to the lady that the sign (2 feet away) said very clearly “Do Not Feed The Squirrels”. The lady asked my friend why not? My friend replied that for one thing, they could be carrying rabies or other diseases and you might get bitten if you were feeding them. The lady replied, “You mean they could be sick?! Well then, WHY DO THEY LET THEM OUT??”

    SIGH.

  4. Kengi says

    I thought you would like to know the “media” are finally catching up on this crisis. Maybe they are reading your blog!

  5. Crimson Clupeidae says

    kestrel@1: I have a similar story, although without the people being so obviously dumb….

    I was hiking down the South Kaibab trail of the Grand Canyon in 2001 and we stopped at one of the port-o-johns for the group to take a break. The rest of us sat down nearby, amidst the several ‘Do Not Feed Wildlife’ signs. As soon as my aunt set her pack down and unzipped it, a chipmunk (nefarious co-conspirator of squirrels everywhere) leaped from a nearby sage bush, dove into her pack and came out with the baggie of Nutter Butters (TM).

    I reacted before I thought, really, and snatched the baggie, sending the little rodent tumbling about 2 feet.

    The chipmunk rolled to its feet like trained ninja, and if looks could kill, I would have been riddled with holes….. As it was, I could tell it was trying to decide if it’s 4oz furry fury could take me….I was fully prepared to punt it like small furry soccerball, and it thought better of trying to take me on.

    I’m probably on a squirrel hit list somewhere…..