Ajar Thread: A Hijab Fashion Trend I Hated But Did Anyway

A version of this was originally posted on my fashion Tumblr, where you can see how much I care (obsess?) over my presentation.

There are many types of headscarves that Muslim women wear; this guide is hardly exhaustive, but it covers the types I used to wear.

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Ajar Thread: A Hijab Fashion Trend I Hated But Did Anyway
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On My Pre-Apostasy Apparel

A version of this was originally posted on my fashion Tumblr, where you can see how much I care (obsess?) over my presentation.

I think a lot about clothing and the way in which I present myself because I have yet to shake the sense of wonder I feel both at my expanded sartorial possibilities and the fact that my such choices are far more my own than they ever were before.

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On My Pre-Apostasy Apparel

A Roundup of “Anti-Rape” Products

Content Notice for Sexual Violence. For a more serious take, Miri said it quite well.

Despite all the fuss being made over the so-called “anti-rape nail polish” that recently won a grant, there have been many products allegedly designed to prevent rape and sexual assault on the market over the years.

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A Roundup of “Anti-Rape” Products

Believe It or Not, Befriending Bigots Can Backfire Rather Badly

Those who advocate for social change are often held to a much higher standard for perceived consistency and kindness in comportment than those who don’t. In the case of the latter, tone-policing runs rampant, often based on the flies and honey principle. If you’re oppressed, you’d better be nice, the reasoning goes, lest you piss off the more powerful and they feel empowered to oppress you even harder.

Aggressively promoting being “nice” seems very attractive and unobjectionable in its face. After all, don’t we want more allies? Don’t we want to keep people on our side? Don’t we want to have people get to know us so that they like us and want us to have rights? How can you make friends to fight with you on your side if you’re so darn mean?

Sorry to break it to everyone, but befriending bigots in the hopes of changing them via exposure isn’t a surefire solution to the problem of bigotry.

Continue reading “Believe It or Not, Befriending Bigots Can Backfire Rather Badly”

Believe It or Not, Befriending Bigots Can Backfire Rather Badly

Why I Call Myself an Ex-Muslim

I was asked today, by a Muslim, why I self-identify as an ex-Muslim and not just an atheist. I’ve had the same question posited by fellow atheists as well. Setting aside my impulse to retort with a knee-jerk anthropologists’ argument of “I can call myself whatever I want”, I can see something of a good question hidden in the label-policing.

The simple answer? In the past, Islam was my life, and continues to affect my life, and will never stop affecting who I am. Continue reading “Why I Call Myself an Ex-Muslim”

Why I Call Myself an Ex-Muslim

A Break-Up Make-Up Tutorial

Inspired by. 

a selfie of Heina with the tutorial makeup applied to her face
Make-up, what make-up? Who’s made up? You’re made up!

It never feels good to get dumped, but even if there’s no chance of you getting back together, you can “make up” in other ways. If looking good makes you feel good, here are some tricks to help you go from feeling dumpable to humpable — or at least to help you look better than you feel. You can trick people — especially your ex — into thinking that you’re doing fine, but also that you aren’t trying too hard. This “I don’t care, but somehow I appear perfect” look, often called the “natural” look, takes a lot of work and time, so be sure you’re feeling that whole “I’m a strong independent bad-ass” thing.

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A Break-Up Make-Up Tutorial

Against Using the “Happy” Down Syndrome Stereotype (No Matter What the Dawks Say)

Note: According to my research, “Down syndrome” is preferable to “Down’s Syndrome”. Also, all credit goes to my friend and her friend who is my new friend who came up with the Ylvis/Dawkins joke yesterday.

There has been a lot of conversation around a certain prominent atheist announcing, in a poor and nuance-lacking imitation of Peter Singer, that he believes it immoral to not abort a fetus with Down Syndrome. Although many of the non- and anti-religious types who differed with him on the matter are pro-choice, we took issue with the notion that not aborting was somehow morally inferior to aborting.

Dawkins responded in his usual fashion by claiming it was the fault of the medium rather than his message, yet somehow, also as per usual, making the situation worse by adding in more words. It is eugenics no matter how much he denies it, and why deny it when he’s already come out in favor of eugenics, anyway? Eugenic practices hardly have to be associated with Hitler to be considered bad when it was we Americans who inspired the Nazis to use societal notions of inferiority and superiority to coerce people into reproducing or not reproducing.

What would a “What the Dawks Say?” incident be without a little splash damage?

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Against Using the “Happy” Down Syndrome Stereotype (No Matter What the Dawks Say)

Ajar Thread: Something You Won’t Wear

Cinderella's Stepsister Trying on Shoes
Dramatic re-enactment of me trying on mojari. I definitely felt like an ugly stepsister.

Sometimes, we stop wearing things, or refrain from wearing them in the first place.

Once upon a time, I was rather into things that visually referenced the Subcontinent. I loved the rich embroidery, vibrant colors, shimmering fabrics, paisley prints, and so on. It was a way to connect to the culture that, during my upbringing, was all too often ignored or even denigrated in favor of religion. I got excited when my local Kohl’s started carrying mojari-style flats since the ones made in the Subcontinent and sold in Little India never fit my 9.5W feet.

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Ajar Thread: Something You Won’t Wear

Madonna, Mount Everest, & Mehndi: On Cultural Appropriation

Note: Mehndi is another term for henna. I use the words interchangeably here.

“i love indian food!”
THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID IN 4TH GRADE WHEN YOU MADE FUN OF ME FOR BRINGING DAL CHAWAL FOR LUNCH
via

Who was the first person to climb Mount Everest? No Googling — what’s the name that comes to mind? Hold onto your answer for later. For now, let’s move from mountains to music. My love/hate relationship with Madonna can adequately explain exactly how and why I came to feel the way I feel about cultural appropriation.

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Madonna, Mount Everest, & Mehndi: On Cultural Appropriation