#mencallmethings: "There is just no way you're having sex"

Tweeted by @sbstl_mo in response to a tweet I made yesterday about the birth control debate:

“@GretaChristina ain’t no freakin way you need to take birth control. There is just no way you’re having sex.”

#mencallmethings

Because when I’m commenting about a question of public policy related to health care, my sexual attractiveness or lack thereof is what renders my ideas relevant or irrelevant.

And, of course, the fact that @sbstl_mo doesn’t find me sexually attractive means nobody else does or ever will.

Oh, and since the question will probably come up: Here’s the tweet this was responding to, which was something I re-tweeted (although for some reason, Twitter isn’t showing who I re-tweeted it from, and now I can’t remember):

“ATTENTION MORONS: YOU are NOT being asked to pay for my birth control … MY INSURANCE COMPANY who I pay TO INSURE ME is being TOLD to do it”

#mencallmethings: "There is just no way you're having sex"
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Rush Limbaugh, Free Speech, and How Gloria Allred is Being a Jerk

You’ve almost certainly heard about the Rush Limbuagh kerfuffle, in which the talk radio personality spent several days excoriating law student Sandra Fluke for testifying on Capitol Hill about employer-paid health insurance and contraception, and called her (among many, many other things) a “slut” and a “prostitute.” You may not yet have head that the well-known feminist lawyer Gloria Allred has requested that Limbaugh be prosecuted — for violating an obscure Florida statute, stating that anyone who “speaks of and concerning any woman, married or unmarried, falsely and maliciously imputing to her a want of chastity” is guilty of a first degree misdemeanor.

My response to Allred: You have got to be fucking kidding me.

This is a bad idea from just about every angle I look at it. It’s a bad idea legally. It’s a bad idea politically/ pragmatically. It’s a bad idea from a feminist perspective. It’s a bad idea from a sexual politics perspective. And it’s a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea morally.

It’s a bad idea legally because it’s a gross violation of the First Amendment. If it doesn’t get smacked down like a bad, bad dog by every court it encounters, I will be very surprised indeed.

It’s a bad idea politically/ pragmatically because it will be seen by the right, and by opponents of feminism, as a hypocritical attempt to silence free speech simply because someone doesn’t like the content. Hell, I see it that way. And I’m a left-wing feminist.

It’s a bad idea from a feminist perspective because it furthers the notion that, in the rough-and-tumble of the marketplace of ideas, women are shrinking violets who can dish it out but can’t take it.

It’s a bad idea from a sexual politics perspective because it furthers the notion that calling a woman’s chastity called into question is an especially terrible crime, worthy of its own statute. And that is bullshit on sixteen different levels. The very fact that this statute makes it a crime specifically to impugne a woman’s chastity, and says nothing of a man’s chastity, should have been a red flag to Allred. She should be campaigning against this statute’s very existence. The idea of a feminist lawyer calling for this law to be enforced makes my skin crawl.

And it’s a bad idea morally because we don’t silence free speech simply because we don’t like its content. Period. As I wrote in my defense of the recent Supreme Court decision about Fred Phelps: The First Amendment, and the right to the free expression of political ideas, is one of most crucial cornerstones of our democracy. We should not be looking for loopholes in it. Our default assumption should always, always, always be that speech should be free, unless there is a tremendously compelling reason to limit it.

If Sandra Fluke genuinely thinks that her reputation and character were defamed by Rush Limbaugh, she should sue him for libel. (I think it’s unlikely that she’d win — she made herself into a public figure when she testified before Congress, and the libels laws about public figures are looser than they are about private citizens — but IANAL, and I don’t know enough about libel laws to say for sure.) But the fact that this law about impugning a woman’s chastity is still on the books? It’s a joke at best and a travesty at worst. And it is beneath Allred, or anyone who genuinely cares about law and the guiding principles behind it, to attempt to use it just to hurt someone we don’t like.

Explaining her call for Limbaugh’s prosecution on this “impugning a woman’s chastity” statute, Allred said: “He needs to face the consequences of his conduct in every way that is meaningful.” I agree. But this is not meaningful. This is meaningless. This is laughable. This is absurd on every level. It is beneath us.

Rush Limbaugh, Free Speech, and How Gloria Allred is Being a Jerk

Iranians in Iran join Nude Photo Revolutionary Calendar

From Maryam Namazie’s blog:

Young members of the Worker-communist Party of Iran who live in Iran have joined the scream! Since they would be executed for this act, their faces are covered with slogans saying ‘Long Live Women’s Freedom’, ‘No to Hejab’, ‘No to Islamic Reaction’, and ‘No to Gender Discrimination’. They have printed the calendar and pasted it behind them.

The full-sized photo is at Maryam’s blog.

I am now so humbled and proud to be part of this project, I can’t put it into words. The extremely minor risk I took with being in this calendar pales in comparison to the risk these folks are taking. Knowing that my picture is one of the ones posted up there behind them… I don’t have words.

Iranians in Iran join Nude Photo Revolutionary Calendar

What I Learned From the Latest #mencallmethings Discussion

I recently blogged here about an incident in which a publicity poster for one of my speaking events got tagged with graffiti calling me “the ugliest of all atheists!” (Or, to be more accurate, “the ugliest of all athiests!”)

I would have thought that my position on this — “It’s bad to criticize women’s ideas by attacking their personal appearance” — was fairly uncontroversial. And for the most part, it was: most people participating in the discussion, including most men, agreed. But I got more pushback on this position that I expected. And I learned a number of interesting things in that conversation, which I thought I should share. Continue reading “What I Learned From the Latest #mencallmethings Discussion”

What I Learned From the Latest #mencallmethings Discussion

Nude Photo Revolutionary Calendar is Here — and I'm In It!

The Nude Photo Revolutionary Calendar is here — and I’m in it!

Today – 8 March 2012 International Women’s Day – the Nude Photo Revolutionaries Calendar is being launched in homage to Egyptian atheist, student and blogger Aliaa Magda Elmahdy who posted a nude photo of herself, announcing the post on Twitter under the hashtag, #NudePhotoRevolutionary.

The calendar is the idea of campaigner Maryam Namazie to support Aliaa Magda Elmahdy and join her ‘screams against a society of violence, racism, sexism, sexual harassment and hypocrisy’.

Namazie says: ‘What with Islamism and the religious right being obsessed with women’s bodies and demanding that we be veiled, bound, and gagged, nudity breaks taboos and is an important form of resistance.’

The calendar is designed by SlutWalk Co-founder Toronto, Sonya JF Barnett who says: ‘I felt that women needed to stand in solidarity with Aliaa. It takes a lot of guts to do what she did, and the backlash is always expected and can quite hurtful. She needed to know that there are others like her, willing to push the envelope to express outrage.’

Others who join the ‘scream’ include mother and daughter Anne Baker and Poppy Wilson St James, teacher Luisa Batista, We are Atheism Founder Amanda Brown, atheist bloggers Greta Christina and Emily Dietle, FEMEN activist Alena Magelat, photographer Mallorie Nasrallah, actress Cleo Powell, freethinker Nina Sankari, writer Saskia Vogel, and Maja Wolna. The women are photographed by Julian Baker, Adam Brown, Grzegorz Brzezicki, Lucy Fox-Bohan, Agnieszka Hodowana, Ben Hopper, N. Maxwell Lander, Mallorie Nasrallah, Mark Neurdenburg, Vitaliy Pavlenko, and Michael Rosen.

The women in the calendar stand firm in solidarity with Aliaa Magda Elmahdy and the countless women across the world who are denied basic rights, freedoms and dignity. You can join the ‘Scream’ on Facebook and on Twitter under the hashtag #NudePhotoRevolutionary.

The calendar is available for purchase, with proceeds going towards supporting women’s rights and free expression. You can also download a PDF.

For more details, visit Maryam Namazie’s blog.

Nude Photo Revolutionary Calendar is Here — and I'm In It!

Birth Control, and Why I'm Proud of Americans Right Now

Three recent news stories. You’ve probably already heard about them ad nauseum, so I’ll just recap them quickly so I can get to my point.

Story One: Susan G. Komen for the Cure, a foundation organized to fight breast cancer, recently pulled funding from Planned Parenthood, one of the major providers of breast cancer screenings for women around the country. A massive public outcry ensued — and Susan G. Komen apologized and reversed its decision, and the official generally seen as responsible for the decision resigned, all as a direct result of the fiasco.

Story Two: The Blunt Amendment, a law that would have permitted employers to refuse to fund health insurance coverage for birth control or any other medical service they had religious or moral objections to, began to wind through Congress. A massive public outcry ensued — and the amendment was voted down in the Senate.

Story Three: Rush Limbaugh spent three days spewing vitriol at a young woman, Sandra Fluke, who had testified before Congress in opposition to the Blunt Amendment, calling her (among many other things) a “slut” and a “prostitute” for supporting employer-paid birth control, and saying that she should have to post public sex videos if she wanted her birth control paid for by government funding. (Which she didn’t say, but never mind.) A massive public outcry ensued — and advertisers are pulling out of his program in droves, with some affiliates pulling his program altogether.

There’s a common theme to all these stories. And it’s making me very proud of my fellow countrypeople.

The theme: Americans are creating massive public outcries in favor of birth control.

Translation: Americans are creating massive public outcries in favor of sex for pleasure, sex for reasons other than procreation, sex for sex’s own sake. Americans are willing to stand up and acknowledge that they have sex because it feels good — and they are creating massive public outcries when people try to interfere with that, or try to shame them about it. Continue reading “Birth Control, and Why I'm Proud of Americans Right Now”

Birth Control, and Why I'm Proud of Americans Right Now

"the ugliest of all atheists!": #mencallmethings

When I was speaking at the University of Chicago last week — awesome event, btw, thanks to everyone who put it together! — the event organizer showed me a publicity poster for the event, which had been graffittied. Next to my photo and under my name, someone had hand-written the words, “the ugliest of all atheists!”

#mencallmethings

Because that’s the important thing, isn’t it? When determining the worth of a writer or speaker or other public figure, the most important issue is whether said figure is nice-looking or ugly. It doesn’t matter if we’re stupid or smart, accurate or off-base, innovative or entrenched, boring or inspiring. What matters is whether random strangers find us sexually attractive.

If we’re women, anyway.

I’m reminded of something Tina Fey said in the New Yorker about show business. “I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work. The women though, they’re all crazy. I have a suspicion — and hear me out, because this is a rough one — that the definition of crazy in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.”

It’s not just show business. The definition of crazy is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore. Or, indeed, a woman who keeps talking even if the person she’s addressing doesn’t want to fuck her. A woman who keeps talking even if the person reading the poster advertising the talk doesn’t want to fuck her.

Oh, btw, I’ve said this before when the #thing that #menhavecalled me is “ugly,” and I’ll say it again here: Please, unless you’re a personal friend or someone I’m having sex with, don’t try to make me feel better by saying that I’m not ugly. If I write about fashion or post the hot pic of myself in the Skepticon calendar, you can say nice things about how I look… but please don’t do it here. I’m not calling this out to garner reassurance about my appearance. I’m calling this out to show people the kind of shit women routinely deal with. I have a thick skin, and I don’t get my feelings hurt by sexist jackasses calling me names. That isn’t the point.

The point isn’t that I’m not ugly. The point is that it shouldn’t matter.

"the ugliest of all atheists!": #mencallmethings

Porn or Erotica?

Is there a useful difference between porn and erotica?

My usual answer to this question is that the distinction between porn and erotica is pretty artificial. It generally comes down to subjective taste, conveniently dovetailed with character and even moral judgment. “I like erotica; you like porn; they like filthy smut.”

But when I have time to kill, I sometimes amuse myself by trying to come up with an answer. The way I often frame it is, “If someone held a gun to my head and made me give a coherent distinction between ‘porn’ and ‘erotica,’ one that most people who use the words would recognize and might even accept… what would it be?” Regardless of whether I think one is better than the other — regardless of whether I accept the common verdict that erotica is high-minded and beautiful while porn is tawdry and degrading? (Or whether I accept the other common verdict: that porn is exciting and hot while erotica is stuffy and boring?) Is there a useable distinction between the two?

Here’s what I have, provisionally, come up with. Continue reading “Porn or Erotica?”

Porn or Erotica?

Why I Do What I Do

I know that the work we do — whether we’re professional activists, or just people trying to make the world better in our everyday lives — can sometimes be frustrating and discouraging, and can feel like we’re beating our heads against a wall. So I thought I’d share this email I just got from someone who responded to my recent pledge drive. It’s making me spring about the apartment going, “I can do this! I’m making a difference! This is totally worth it!” I hope it does the same for some of you.

I had already written this before I made my donation, but I hadn’t gotten around to checking it for the eleventieth time and sending it (perhaps it would have made more sense to do it the other way around, but hey):

After thinking a lot about how I was going to say this (and editing it about a thousand times, because this will probably be written so terribly no matter what I do), I just wanted to say thankyou. My contribution for PZ’s “why I am an atheist”, with my not-so-sneaky thankyou to you, might not get posted for, well, forever. So, I thought the least I can do is bother to email you personally.

Along with Jen, you’ve been a major factor in my coming to feminism, and as a man, coming to see my privilege for what it is (and more importantly, breaking through the denial after that realisation). You’ve also been amazingly insightful and interesting when it comes to sexuality, which as someone who’s straight also brings out another area of privilege for me. That, and making me think about my own sexuality, and being reassured that having different aspects of my sexuality and preferences that differ from the “expected” way (ie. moderate conservative, like society is here in the rural parts of the UK, or expected “normal” male sexuality) is not a bad thing.

Anyway, I can definitely say my life is a measurable amount better thanks to you to the point where a simple “thankyou” doesn’t really cut it. Being a person lacking in social confidence, surrounded by people who almost all have opposite worldviews to your own is difficult at times, but that’s why I love the internet. I hope you keep on blogging (and everything else) for a long, long time, because you’ve made a huge difference so far (especially for me).

– Jim

Jim — thank you so much. This is what I live for. You totally made my day.

It’s especially encouraging — as it so often is — to hear men say they appreciate the writing and the work that I, and so many other people, are doing about feminism. The fights in the atheosphere and skeptosphere about feminism and sexism and misogyny have been painful and ugly, and I know a lot of us get very down about it. It’s really good to be reminded that the work is paying off, and that lots of people are getting their minds and their hearts changed.

We can do this. We’re making a difference. This is totally worth it.

Why I Do What I Do

I'm Number Two! I'm Number Two!

I can’t remember another time in my life when I was as honored to come in second.

Jen McCreight as Blag Hag recently did a reader poll for their nominations for Most Influential Female Atheist of 2011. And I came in at Number Two! A fairly distant number two, well behind the landslide winner: Rebecca Watson.

Rebecca Watson
And I heartily applaud this decision. In fact, I voted for Watson myself. (Voters could pick as many candidates as they liked: I voted for Watson and Jessica Ahlquist.) Watson did far more for atheism than simply point out an example of moderately creepy behavior and say, “Guys, don’t do that.” She also persevered through the horrible, hateful, venomous shitstorm that resulted, and used it as an opportunity to educate people about sexism and misogyny in the atheist community — despite enormous pressure on her to back off, including hideous threats of violence. In 2011, sexism and misogyny has come to the front burner in our community, and many, many people are now much more informed about it — largely as a result of Watson’s work. (I can’t count the number of emails and comments I’ve gotten from men who responded to Elevatorgate with, “Oh, I get it now.”) To quote Jen, “I don’t think Rebecca knew quite what she was getting into when she made that initial benign comment, but her perseverance through the resulting shitstorm was amazing. She exposed the reality of sexism in the atheist and skeptical movement, alerting people to the problem and inspiring social change.” I am totally proud to be left in her dust.

And in fact, I am totally proud to be on this list at all. Because I’m in incredibly awesome company. Others on this list include Jessica Ahlquist, Maryam Namazie, Natalie Reed, Ophelia Benson, Aliaa Magda Elmahdy, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Amanda Marcotte, and the women of the Godless Bitches Podcast. If anyone tries to tell you that atheist women aren’t getting recognition because there just aren’t any who have done awesome thing, point them at this list, and then laught in their face.

Oh, and I hope I don’t have to explain why we need a separate form of recognition for female atheists. But for those who might just be joining this blog and haven’t gotten the memo yet, here’s Jen’s explanation:

Why bother with a women-only poll? Because despite their accomplishes, women are still frequently overlooked when we acknowledge people in the atheist movement. I originally started this informal award because of end of the year “Top Atheist” lists that always seemed to exclude women. We’re certainly getting better: the gender ratio at cons is getting less skewed for attendees and speakers, and women’s issues are gaining more and more attention in the movement. But there’s still room for improvement. The main public figures of atheism are predominantly men, and calling out blatantly obvious issues of sexism results in the internet exploding (not to mention, you know, rape and death threats). And yet again, end of the year round-ups forget that women exist.

So congratulations to Rebecca for a well-deserved landslide win. Congratulations to all the other women — on this list or not — who have worked so hard for the atheist community and the atheist movement. And, lest I forget… congratulations to MEEEEEE!

I'm Number Two! I'm Number Two!