Content note: fantasy/horror violence, and plenty of it. Also some references to sexism, misogyny, misogynist violence, and some sexual content.
In response to this post on Facebook, from dating coach Jonathon Aslay:
How a Woman Becomes Irresistible To a Man… She chooses to set high standards for herself. She’s clear on what she wants. She knows the value of friendship before sex. She comes from a place of gratitude (not expectations). She is confident and willing to ask a man out on a date because she knows a relationship is a two way street. She demonstrates trust and respect by accepting him for who he is. She’s in no hurry to get to the destination. She can take of herself, she doesn’t need a man. She shows up interesting and interested. She comes from a place of compassion (not entitlement). Lastly, she knows how to inspire a man, because she leads by example. Did I miss anything?
Facebook feminists bring you: The Irresistible Woman. Part 6 of a series. All micro-stories reprinted with permission of the authors, credited and linked to (or not) as they requested.
DISCLAIMER: References to violence, death, destruction, physical torment, psychological torment, supernatural torment, world domination, eternal nightmares, or the warping of the entire space-time continuum to exact revenge on one sexist jerk, are all intended as metaphor. These are fictional expressions of rage and mockery, aimed at the impossible, contradictory, ever-shifting standards of female desirability, and at the barrage of advice given to women about how to meet those standards. None of the authors actually want to do these things, or think they should happen. No, really.
In response to someone named Aaron, who called the others in the thread “killjoys”:
The irresistible woman kills all your joy. –Yvonne Rathbone
The irresistible woman kills all joy and then reignites it with her flaming wings, but not Aaron’s joy, never Aaron’s. The irresistible woman will leave Aaron without joy forever. -Amy Lou Renner
The irresistible woman would never kill your joy, for she needs it alive in order to continue feeding on it. Rather, she keeps it under lock and key, visiting when she needs to siphon screams from its pulsating form, promising only what she must in order to ensure that it remains alive still, throbbing, nectar-sweet. You will never see it again, but she will give it hope, for it is foolish joy, without forethought. -Gertrud
She is known by many names, all sobriquets. For every moniker by which she is known, there are always three more to be discovered. None are her True Name, though, for to know that would be to stare into the Abyss and know madness, and to speak it would undo the Cosmos. –Scott David Weitzenhoffer
The irresistible woman is not a person at all, but a force like gravity. Or magnetism. All will love her & despair, for to deny her does not change the laws of physics. –Kassiane
The irresistible woman doesn’t eat your food. She dines on pulsars and shipwrecks. –Yvonne Rathbone
She not only puts up with you. She opens up with you. Opens so far that you see vast plains and stretches of sky, and stars stretching for infinite distance. You fall in. Before you know it, you find yourself on a strange new world, inhabited by creatures made only of teeth and talon, with no regard for the silly plaything that you call “life.”
Desperately you try to cling to the last vestiges of humanity, recalling your shape, your skin, your name. Nothing. You are one of them now. -Gertrud
Her straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake. She drinks your milkshake!
She drinks it up! . -Gertrud
And they’re like…
“Oh, God, somebody, please, help me!”
Damn right, it’s better than yours.
She can teach you to feed on the souls of the living, but she’ll have to charge. -Kitt McKenzie [Read more…]