Saturday Night’s Alright For Biting

My brain does weird things sometimes. When I’m engaged in a project, it will often find itself an irrelevant little side project — often musically-themed — and get very fixated on it. A list of songs that can be sung to the tune of “The Yellow Rose of Texas”; a list of songs in which the word “heart” can be replaced with the word “head” to comic effect; a cat-themed song parody. And the more important the main project is, and the more deeply immersed I am in it, the more obsessively fixated my brain gets on the side project.

Thus far, during the writing of “Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why,” I have written two — not one, but two — cat-themed song parodies. I’ve already posted the lyrics to “Love Me, Love Me, Love Me — I’m A Kittycat!” Today, in honor of Comet, I bring you Saturday Night’s Alright For Biting. To the tune of Elton John’s Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting. (If you need an explanation of what Comet is like for context, you can find it in Hell’s Kitten: Learning to Love Our Play-Aggressive Cat. And yes, the cats eat venison. Special novel-protein diet.)

Saturday Night’s Alright For Biting

Comet yawning with teethIt’s getting late and my teeth can’t wait
Mom, bring my favorite chew toy here
It’s eleven o’clock and I wanna rock
Gonna bite your ankles and your ears

My mama Ingrid’s nose and my mama Greta’s toes
Are begging to be chewed on here
My sister looks cute in her little white boots
And lots of my spit in her fur

(chorus)
Now give me some of your cheese and yogurt
I’ve had it with your venison
‘Cause Saturday night’s alright for biting
Get a little chomping in

Gonna do some dangling with my dangle toys
Gonna chase a beam of light
‘Cause Saturday night’s the night I bite
Saturday night’s alright to bite
To bite
Meow, meow, meow, meow

Comet and Talisker on swivel chairWell, my sisters look like they wanna play tonight
I’m looking for a kitty who will tussle and fight
I can chase them down the hallway in a wild stampede
I can leap up in the air and then I’ll claw your knees

A couple of the things that I like to bite
Are shoelaces and fingers and a bug in flight
I’m a juvenile delinquent of the feline class
And if it’s full of water I’ll knock over your glass

(chorus)

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday
Saturday, Saturday, Saturday
Saturday, Saturday, Saturday night I’ll bite

Blog Break Cat Photos

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. A whole series, actually. You have all been really patient throughout this blog break, so I’ve been saving one of the best and snuggliest serieses for today.

All three snuggly kitties

All three snuggly kitties

All three snuggly kitties

All three snuggly kitties

All three snuggly kitties! So much snuggling!

Blog Break Cat Photo

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.

Houdini helping me write

Houdini helping me write! She’s copy editing the manuscript, and making sure all the references to tuna are accurate and up-to-date.

Blog Break Cat Photo

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.

Houdini and Comet

Houdini and Comet!

Blog Break Cat Photos

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. Two cat photos, actually: you’ve been really patient, so today you get a little two-part mini-series of Houdini. (I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.)

Houdini

Houdini

Houdini!

Blog Break Cat Photo

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.

Three snuggly kitties

Three snuggly kitties!

Blog Break Cat Photo

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.

Talisker

Talisker!

Blog Break Cat Photos

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. Three, actually. You all have been very patient, so you get a series today, of the tabbies “helping” us with the laundry. (I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.)

Tabbies in laundry

Tabbies in laundry

Tabbies in laundry

Tabbies in the laundry!

Blog Break Cat Photo

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.

Talisker

Talisker!

Blog Break Cat Photo

I’m going into writer hibernation and taking a blog break through October 31, while I finish my next book, “Coming Out Atheist: How To Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why.”

In the meantime, here is a cat photo. I’ve pre-scheduled at least one cat photo for every day of my break, so you won’t be lonely.

Snuggly tabbies!

Snuggly tabbies!