“Christian Domestic Discipline”: Extended Excerpt

This originally appeared as a guest post on Ozy Frantz’s Blog. Ozy has taken down their blog, so I am reprinting it here instead.

Bending coverThis is an extended excerpt from story “Christian Domestic Discipline,” one of the stories in “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More” by Greta Christina. Available as an eboook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords: audiobook and print editions coming soon.

She sometimes forgets that this was her idea.

She’s getting confused about this, and she forgets that she’s the one who talked him into it. She forgets that she’s the one who found the Website, with the handbook and the Bible quotes and the stories: all that stuff about how God wants husbands to decide and wives to obey, how it was God’s will for a husband to physically chastise his wife, how it restored the natural order of a marriage for a husband to spank his wife when she misbehaves. She forgets how intriguing she found it: like an adventure in marriage, an exciting secret with God’s blessing. She forgets how eager she was to show him the stories: the devotion of the rituals, the constant cycles of defiance and penitence, the loving attention to the physical details of implements and undergarments and bare bottoms being revealed. All by command of the inerrant word of God. [Read more...]

“Bending” Audiobook Is Happening!

Bending coverThe audiobook for “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More” is happening! It’s being done through Audible, and should be available in all the usual Audible channels, including Amazon and iTunes. I’ll let you know as soon as the audiobook is available for sale.

And yes, I’m doing the recording, in my own voice and everything. The recording happens next week. Yaaaay!

If you can’t wait that long, the book is currently available an an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. And a paperback print edition is in the works as well!

And for all you audiobook fans: The audiobook version of “Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless” is also available at Audible, iTunes, and Amazon. And yes, I did the recording for this one as well. I am woman, hear me rant!

“Discover just how far sexy goes”: Blurb on Charlie Glickman’s Blog on the “Bending” Blog Tour

“So if you like to play on the edge, or if you simply get turned on thinking about it, pick up a copy of Bending and discover just how far sexy goes.”

*****

Bending coverTo read the rest of this short review by sex educator Charlie Glickman, Ph.D., go check it out on Charlie Glickman’s Blog.

Here’s the deal: I’m doing a blog tour for my new erotic fiction collection, “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.” Today’s installment in the tour is a really nice, thoughtful review/ blurb from Charlie Glickman, author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners, who can be found on Charlie Glickman’s Blog.

And remember — the book is currently available an an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Audiobook and paperback are coming soon!

Previous stops on this blog tour:

6/3:
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Is Erotic Shame Real Shame? (guest post by me)
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

Ozy Frantz has taken down their blog. These posts have now been reprinted on my own blog:
Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame? (essay)
Excerpt from Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

6/4:
Brute Reason: Greta Christina on Writing Dirty Stories (interview with Miri)

6/5:
Rachel Kramer Bussel’s “Lusty Lady” Blog: Craig’s List (extended excerpt)

Craig’s List: Extended Excerpt on Rachel Kramer Bussel’s “Lusty Lady” Blog on the “Bending” Blog Tour

On her 24th birthday, she decided there were three things she wanted to do before she turned 25. Sexual things. All three involved taking stupid risks, putting her body into the hands of people she knew nothing about and had no reason to trust. All three involved Craig’s List.

*****

Bending coverTo read the rest of this excerpt, go to Excerpt from Craig’s List, my guest post on Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Lusty Lady blog.

Here’s the deal: I’m doing a blog tour for my new erotic fiction collection, “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.” Today’s installment in the tour is on Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Lusty Lady blog — an extended excerpt from the story “Craig’s List”. Many thanks to Ozy for taking part in this tour!

And remember — the book is currently available an an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Audiobook and paperback are coming soon!

Previous stops on this blog tour:

6/3:
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Is Erotic Shame Real Shame? (guest post by me)
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

Ozy Frantz has taken down their blog. These posts have now been reprinted on my own blog:
Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame? (essay)
Excerpt from Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

6/4:
Brute Reason: Greta Christina on Writing Dirty Stories (interview with Miri)

“Sexuality can be so personal”: Interview with Miri of Brute Reason on the “Bending” Blog Tour

1. What’s your favorite thing about writing dirty stories? What’s the most challenging thing about it?

I have two favorite things. The first is the challenge as a writer. Can I shape my sexual fantasies into writing, in a way that other people find compelling? Sexuality can be so personal: our own fantasies are so exciting to us, but just describing them doesn’t automatically make them exciting to other people. Even if our fantasies overlap with other people’s fantasies, even if what pushes our buttons pushes other people’s buttons — just a description of what happens in the fantasy isn’t enough to make it exciting. Not to me, anyway. I have to find the real core, what exactly it is about this fantasy that makes it hot for me. That’s really interesting. It’s like therapy.

The other favorite thing is that it gets me off. Sinking deep into a sex fantasy, spending hours with it, closely examining it to find out what makes it hot… it makes my clit hard just thinking about it.

The most challenging things are very closely related to my favorite things…

*****

Bending coverTo read the rest of this interview, go to Greta Christina on Writing Dirty Stories, my interview with Miri on the Brute Reason blog.

Here’s the deal: I’m doing a blog tour for my new erotic fiction collection, “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.” Today’s installment in the tour comes from Miri, of the Brute Reason blog — an in-depth interview with me, in which we talk about what’s fun and hard about writing dirty stories, whether writing smut has changed how I think about sexuality, how my views of religion shaped the religious porn in the book, my favorite story in the collection, the most difficult one to write (surprise! they’re the same), whether stories like mine can help de-stigmatize kink, the ethical obligations of porn writers, and what exactly the deal is with “The Unicorn and the Rainbow.” Many thanks to Miri for taking part in this tour!

And remember — the book is currently available an an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Audiobook and paperback are coming soon!

Previous stops on this blog tour:

6/3:
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Is Erotic Shame Real Shame? (guest post by me)
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

Ozy Frantz has taken down their blog. These posts have now been reprinted on my own blog:
Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame? (essay)
Excerpt from Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame? Guest Post on Ozy Frantz’s Blog on the “Bending” Blog Tour

When we eroticize shame… is the shame “real”?

Expand that. When we eroticize powerlessness, helplessness, cruelty, punishment, power-hunger, fear… are these experiences “real”?

Here’s what I mean. I’ve just come out with a porn fiction book, “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.” (Available as an eboook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords: audiobook and print editions coming soon.) The book is, as you might have guessed from the title, pretty darned kinky: it includes dirty stories, meant to be hot and exciting and pleasurable, about fear, helplessness, cruelty, punishment, control-freakery… and shame. (In some cases they’re descriptions of consensual SM scenes; in some cases, they’re fantasies about borderline consent or non-consent.)

I’ve been promoting the book on Facebook, with excerpts. This promotion has resulted in some… conversations, with people who are unfamiliar with kink and are weirded out about how stories depicting such obviously negative experiences could possibly be considered pleasurable by anyone who’s emotionally healthy. And one person in one of those conversations made an argument I’ve seen a number of times — that the shame experienced in consensual SM scenes isn’t “real” shame.

It’s a point I’ve seen made by other kinky and pro-kinky people: SM shame isn’t “real” shame — it’s play-acting, pretend. The line from Dan Savage gets quoted sometimes (it got quoted in the Facebook conversation I’m talking about): that “BDSM is cops and robbers for grownups.” Even eroticized pain sometimes gets referred to by kinksters as “intense sensation” rather than pain.

And I started thinking: Is this true?

*****

Bending coverTo read the rest of this excerpt, go to Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame?, my guest post on Ozy Frantz’s Blog.

Here’s the deal: I’m doing a blog tour for my new erotic fiction collection, “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.” The first installments in the tour come from Ozy Frantz, of Ozy Frantz’s Blog — including a guest post by me, Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame?, sparked by the content of much of the book and by some of the responses to it. Many thanks to Ozy for taking part in this tour!

UPDATE: Ozy Frantz has taken down their blog. This post has now been reprinted on my own blog:
Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame? (essay)

And remember — the book is currently available an an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Audiobook and paperback are coming soon!

Christian Domestic Discipline: Extended Excerpt on Ozy Frantz’s Blog on the “Bending” Blog Tour

She sometimes forgets that this was her idea.

She’s getting confused about this, and she forgets that she’s the one who talked him into it. She forgets that she’s the one who found the Website, with the handbook and the Bible quotes and the stories: all that stuff about how God wants husbands to decide and wives to obey, how it was God’s will for a husband to physically chastise his wife, how it restored the natural order of a marriage for a husband to spank his wife when she misbehaves. She forgets how intriguing she found it: like an adventure in marriage, an exciting secret with God’s blessing. She forgets how eager she was to show him the stories: the devotion of the rituals, the constant cycles of defiance and penitence, the loving attention to the physical details of implements and undergarments and bare bottoms being revealed. All by command of the inerrant word of God.

*****

Bending coverTo read the rest of this excerpt, go to Christian Domestic Discipline, my guest post on Ozy Frantz’s Blog.

Here’s the deal: I’m doing a blog tour for my new erotic fiction collection, “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.” The first installments in the tour come from Ozy Frantz, of Ozy Frantz’s Blog, including an extended excerpt from the story Christian Domestic Discipline. Many thanks to Ozy for taking part in this tour!

UPDATE: Ozy Frantz has taken down their blog. This post has now been reprinted on my own blog:
Excerpt from Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

And remember — the book is currently available an an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Audiobook and paperback are coming soon!

“Bending” Blog Tour — Schedule With Links

Bending coverI’m doing a blog tour for my new erotic fiction collection, “Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.” Many bloggers have been kind enough to agree to post about the book, one each day for the next couple/ few weeks. They’re posting reviews, interviews with me, guest posts from me, extended excerpts from the book, and more.

This post lists all the posts in the blog tour thus far. I’ll be updating it every time a new post in the tour goes up. If you want to see (or link to) all the pieces in the tour — this is the place to do it!

And remember — the book is currently available an an ebook on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Audiobook and paperback are coming soon!

6/3:
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Is Erotic Shame Real Shame? (guest post by me)
Ozy Frantz’s Blog: Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

Ozy Frantz has taken down their blog. These posts have now been reprinted on my own blog:
Is Erotic Shame “Real” Shame? (essay)
Excerpt from Christian Domestic Discipline (extended excerpt)

6/4:
Brute Reason: Greta Christina on Writing Dirty Stories (interview with Miri)

6/5:
Lusty Lady, Rachel Kramer Bussell: Excerpt from Craig’s List (extended excerpt)

6/7:
Charlie Glickman’s Blog: “Discover just how far sexy goes” (brief review/ blurb)

6/10:
WWJTD? JT Eberhard: On Being an Atheist Writing Religious Porn, plus Excerpt from Penitence as a Perpetual Motion Machine (guest post by me, plus extended excerpt)

6/12:
Passions and Provocations, Pam Rosenthal (a.k.a. Molly Weatherfield): How to Read a Remarkable Work of Erotica (review/ essay)

6/13:
Curvacious Dee’s Blog: Bent Fiction, plus Excerpt from Doing It Over (review, plus extended excerpt)’

6/13:
Susie Bright’s Journal: Pain, Kink, Shame — and a Unicorn Chaser. Greta Christina’s New Erotic Epic! (brief review and extended excerpt from “The Shame Photos”)

6/14:
En Tequila Es Verdad, Dana Hunter: Why Is Kink Fun? (guest post by me)

6/18:
Under His Hand, Kaya’s blog: Excerpt from This Week (extended excerpts)

6/19:
Heina, Skepchick: Why Atheists Say “God” When They Have Sex (essay)

6/21:
Girl on the Net: Someone else’s story (essay/ review, with extended excerpt from the book’s introduction)

6/23:
Trollop Salon, Alison Tyler’s interview blog: Greta Christina is in the Salon! (interview plus excerpt)

6/25:
io9: How to Write a Sex Scene Between a Unicorn and a Rainbow (guest post)

6/27:
Maggie Mayhem’s blog: 5 Things That Piss Off This Godless Pervert (guest post)

Some Things I Learned From Reading “Best Sex Writing 2013″

Best Sex Writing 2013 coverSome things I learned from reading Best Sex Writing 2013: The State of Today’s Sexual Culture (available in paperback and on Kindle):

I learned that the Doc Johnson “marital aid” company was mockingly named after Lyndon B. Johnson.

I learned that in 2005, high-end vibrators were given to celebrities in the Golden Globe Awards gift suite.

I learned that a 2009 Gallup poll showed that 92 percent of Americans think that having an extramarital affair is morally wrong.

I learned that sexual and romantic relationships in nursing homes typically have a no-pressure, enjoying-the-moment quality to them, since “no one here is burdened with finding the loves of their lives.”

I learned that some queer people still feel a need to be closeted about their queerness if they want a career in politics. And I learned that, for some bisexual people, this is both easier and harder than being gay.

I learned that gay male sex at rest stops is way, way more common than I’d imagined. I learned that if you’ve ever pulled over to a rest area — summer, winter, any season — you’ve been near men having sex.

I learned to wonder about a question I hadn’t thought about before: If you have sex with a girl, and you’re a trans woman who knows you’re also a girl, but your partner doesn’t know that… is it lesbian sex? Is it lesbian for you, but not for her?

I learned that the entire concept of virginity often means something really different for trans people than it does for cis people. (Not that it’s always so straightforward for cis people…)

I learned that sports journalists get really, really weird when confronted with male athletes who are virgins.

I learned that there are some people in the leather community — not all, probably not even most, but some — who think that at SM play parties, people shouldn’t have orgasms or talk dirty. (To which I can only comment: What the actual fuck?)

I learned that when New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof wrote about prostitution ads in he back pages of newspapers, he acknowledged that many prostitutes are consensual and non-coerced, but said, “They’re not my concern.” (I’d say that I learned that Nicholas Kristof is a douchebag… but I already knew that.)

I learned that there exists a group, the Religious Institute, that examines the intersection of theology and human sexuality. Their president, Rev. Debra W. Haffner, is “completely shocked that contraception is being made to seem as if it’s a controversial issue.” Not sure if she’s being deliberately disingenuous, or if she’s really shocked. If the latter, I need to learn what rock she’s been under for the last decade. Seems like an interesting organization, though. Maybe I need to investigate.

I learned that in the late 1940s, ’50s and ’60s, Church & State magazine, the publication of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, was “studded with stories about often-successful attempts to block access to birth control.”

I learned that some people have called the birth control pill the most important invention of the twentieth century. I think that, while this is something of an overstatement, they definitely have a point.

I learned that, while the mainstream video porn industry is mostly tanking financially, porn parodies of pop culture (such as Spiderman XXX) are flourishing.

I learned that in New York City, half of all underage prostitutes are boys — and only 10 percent are involved with pimps.

I learned that Marilyn Monroe was such a big fan of Jean Harlow that she got Harlow’s hairdresser to dye her own hair blonde.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. If you want to learn more about a massively varied variety of kinds of sex, ideas about sex, perspectives on sex… Best Sex Writing 2013 is a great place to go.

Best Sex Writing 2013 is edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and Carol Queen. To learn more about the book, go to the Best Sex Writing 2013 website, Cleis Press, Goodreads, or Rachel’s personal website. The book is available in paperback and on Kindle.

“This is about adding to, not taking away”: Interview With Charlie Glickman, Co-Author of “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure”

the-ultimate-guide-to-prostate-pleasure-coverIf you have a prostate, or if you’re having sex with someone who has a prostate, or if you ever plan to have sex with someone who has a prostate, you want to read this book. Period.

I’d thought about writing a fuller review of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners. (Available in paperback and Kindle.) I might still do that at some point. But really, my thoughts on the book pretty much boil down to this: If you have a prostate, or if you’re having sex with someone who has a prostate, or if you ever plan to have sex with someone who has a prostate, you want to read this book. Period.

Of course, the author can tell you a lot more about it than that. Charlie Glickman, Ph.D., co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, has very kindly given me some time to discuss the book, and some of the ideas and information in it.

GC: If there was one thing you could say to people who are reluctant to explore prostate play, what would it be?

CG: There are some pretty common concerns that men and their partners have around trying prostate play. When we wrote the book, Aislinn and I conducted two surveys and we asked people to tell us what held them back. Almost all of the answers fell into three categories: will it hurt? will it be messy? what does this mean for my masculinity?

Those first two are technical questions, in the sense that they focus on the technical skills that make anal play enjoyable. As a sex educator and coach, I hear those same questions from people of any gender who are thinking about receiving anal play, and there are lots of ways to make it easy, fun, and hygienic. Since getting fucked is usually seen as “the woman’s role” in sex, a lot of men worry that anal penetration and prostate pleasure will somehow make them less masculine.

This is such a prevalent issue that we devoted an entire chapter of the book to unpacking it and offering alternative perspectives. But the short version is that what kinds of things feel good to you is about where your nerves are, while the gender(s) of the people you want to have sex with is about your sexual orientation. Those are two different things, in the same way that what foods you like and who you want to have dinner with are two different things.

I think it’s really unfortunate that so many men are stuck on this because there are some incredible opportunities for pleasure that they miss out on. And it’s not like prostate play means you can’t also have lots of fun with other kinds of sex. This is about adding to, not taking away.

If there was one more thing?

When I talk with men about their experiences with prostate play, whether massage, pegging, or anything else, they describe it in much the same way that a lot of women describe G-spot play. The sensation of prostate massage is often compared to “the beginning of an orgasm,” but instead of lasting just a few seconds as you reach the “point of no return” (or in sex therapy language, “ejaculatory inevitability”), it can last for as long as you want. The orgasms that come from prostate massage are felt as bigger, more expansive, coursing through your body, and with practice, you might even be able to have multiple orgasms. If you’ve ever heard someone talk about their G-spot experiences, some of this might sound similar.

I think this is important because a lot of guys have had first-hand experience on the giving side of G-spot pleasure (no pun intended), and can’t even imagine being able to have something like that for themselves. But actually, you can and we give you all the info you need to try it for yourself.

And one more?

There’s a difference between anal stimulation and prostate stimulation. Yes, the most effective way to reach the prostate is through anal penetration, though it’s not the only way, but a lot of guys prefer to focus on just the prostate with minimal anal stimulation. Others like to mix them together, and a few told us that they enjoy anal play, but that prostate stimulation didn’t do much for them.

This is important because some men resist exploring prostate pleasure as a result of experiences of not enjoying anal play. But as long as the anal penetration is painless, you can have a great time. If you decide that you like it too, then you have more fun options. Prostate play isn’t about size. You can rock someone’s world with something as slim as a finger. So don’t let your worries about anal sex keep you from trying something new.

Along those lines, a medical prostate exam isn’t meant to feel good. They don’t want it to hurt, but they also don’t want you to get turned on and think that the doctor is trying to have sex with you. I’ve had a lot of men tell me, “I got checked out at the doctor’s office and I didn’t like it, so I guess this isn’t for me.” It’s funny- I’ve never heard a woman say, “Getting a pelvic exam isn’t fun, so I guess I don’t like intercourse.” Trust me. Doing this at home is completely different.

What has the response been to the book so far?

Really amazing. I’ve received emails from men with all levels of experience, from total novices to experienced prostate players, and they’ve all said that they learned something useful. One of the advantages of surveying almost 200 people about this is that we could offer more tips and ideas to make things fun. Our goal was to make it relevant for everyone with a prostate and for their partners, and from the feedback we’ve gotten so far, we hit our target. Aislinn and I are both really proud of that.

I’m also really happy that men of all sexual orientations have told us that we spoke to their experiences and made our book relevant to them. Most sex guides are written for specific communities or with only some sexual orientations in mind. The fact that we have been getting such positive responses from men of all orientations makes me really proud.

How does this book differ from other guides to male anal pleasure, such as The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men?

While there are some guides to male anal pleasure, they focus much more on the anal play. There’s some mention of the prostate, but that’s not the main point. We give you lots of info about anal play, but most of our attention is on the prostate. Think of it as sort of like the difference between a book on sex positions and a book on the G-spot. There’ll be some overlap, but a lot that’s different.

Our website has a lot of great info to get you started. We wrote it to make sure that you’d get enough of the basics to give it a try, even if you never pick up a copy of the book. Of course, the book (available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle) has a whole lot more. So if you’re ready to try something new and rock your world, you know where to go. And if you have feedback, questions, or you just want to get in touch, I’m easy to find at my website, Facebook, and Twitter.

Charlie Glickman Ph.D. is a sexuality educator, writer, blogger, workshop teacher, and sex & relationship coach. He is certified as a sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and was a pioneering Program Educator for Good Vibrations for sixteen years. He lives in Oakland, CA.