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“Your photo kept me wondering”

Message from some guy on Facebook:

Hello, I was just surfing through Facebook and your photo kept me wondering and admiring because it is indeed a rare privilege to come across such an angelic damsel i would love to be a friend **smile**

My reply:

Apparently you haven’t been surfing my Facebook very long. If you had, you’d know that I don’t like it when men pay attention to women entirely because of their appearance, and completely ignore their words. If you wanted to be my friend, you would have said something about an idea or link I posted that you found interesting. You may think you were complimenting me, but it’s not actually a compliment to treat women as if our appearance is the only thing that matters. Just so you know.

Anyone want to take bets on how long it takes him to call me a bitch? (Unless, of course, it’s random spam, in which case my reply will probably just be ignored.)

Comments

  1. Pierce R. Butler says

    The author of Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More is “an angelic damsel”?!?

    I know I’m not ready to meet the bad-ass women from that guy’s planet.

  2. Al Dente says

    I could care less about what Greta looks like. I’m very impressed with how she discusses complex topics in an almost effortless manner.

  3. tychabrahe says

    It’s a romance scammer. I’m surprised you get them. Doesn’t your Facebook profile indicate that you’re married? I get them a lot, five so far this year. I have the classic trifecta which appeals to these assholes:

    1. I’m an American citizen.
    2. I’m single.
    3. I’m older.

    In other words, I must be desperate, and anyone who slings some honey at me will get me to shell out money for “tickets” and other expenses that would bring him to my side.

  4. says

    I vote spam. I’ve had a couple of these recently, and my FB profile picture is a Ronald Searle drawing of a cat with a cigarette & whisky sitting on a pile of books.

  5. Badland says

    Aletha @ 6

    ♥ one of my favourite illustrators.

    Greta, an excellent reply. I’m wondering how long it’ll take for your !!EXTREME RUDENESS!! in not being breathlessly grateful to be decried

  6. minxatlarge says

    I’ll vote Romance Scammer too. Yup, they raise my hackles, but haven’t seen as much since changing my privacy setting to Friends Only.

    The authors of my acquaintance (you know Seattle, stuffed full with SF writers and Geek Girl Con attendees) report that agents are suggesting a personal FB profile for friends and family and a Page for the public author stuff.

    Where I didn’t expect to be hit upon by random dudebros was LinkedIn. Ick. As if I need some swarmy guy young enough to be my son to ‘mentor’ me. (shudder) I changed my photo to a more matronly pic and that seems to have ended. Now it’s just people trying to sell BI software.

  7. axemaiden says

    Is there a woman on Facebook who hasn’t had this kind of approach from a random stranger/spambot? It’s endemic.

    And the fact that it’s spam doesn’t really make a difference – the same shudder goes down my spine and my mind goes on Creep Alert regardless. It’s still a microaggression.

    Excellent response, Greta!

  8. Bernard Bumner says

    @minxatlarge and axemaiden,

    …since changing my privacy setting to Friends Only.

    Where I didn’t expect to be hit upon… was LinkedIn

    …approach from a random stranger/spambot?

    In response to this, and Greta’s follow-up: I don’t understand why I’m not being hit upon by all those “socially awkward” people who must be out there looking for a man?

    If this is spam, it somehow manages not to affect me or any of my male friends, whereas all of my obviously/apparently female friends have experienced this type of approach. Are the robots using a list of names to target?

    (It is almost as though this exclusively affects one group that I’m not part of – if only there was some word to describe that…)

  9. Tsu Dho Nimh says

    It’s probably a Romance Scammer trolling for victims.

    I get them despite having a non-human avatar.

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