#YesAllWomen — My Stuff


Content note: Misogyny, violence against women and girls, trivialization of same.

Just posted these to Twitter.

#YesAllWomen The two boys in third grade who pinned me down and pulled down my pants so they could get a look…

#YesAllWomen … and the fact that I didn’t tell anyone, because *I* felt ashamed.

#YesAllWomen The college boyfriend who hit me twice and choked me once…

#YesAllWomen … the friends who saw one of the times he hit me, and still tried to help me work things out with him..

#YesAllWomen … & the fact that I didn’t tell anyone, because *I* felt ashamed.

#YesAllWomen Man who said when we were breaking up “You don’t have to stay w/ friends, stay here,” then spent the night screaming at me…

#YesAllWomen … and the fact that again, I didn’t tell anyone, because *I* felt ashamed.

#YesAllWomen Man who followed me for a block & a half leering and “Hey baby”ing, didn’t stop when I ignored him & said “No” & “Fuck off”…

#YesAllWomen … who didn’t stop til I ripped chain off my leather jacket & shook it in his face & screamed. And who then called me a bitch.

#YesAllWomen The man who responded to a Facebook argument by saying he wanted to “slap the bitch” and kick my blog readers in the cunt.

#YesAllWomen Organization leader who I emailed about this, who said “Nothing excuses threats of violence” then excused it for 3 paragraphs.

#YesAllWomen The man who commented on a blog post about Internet misogyny, “You’re a CUNT… a whining, annoying, cunt.”

#YesAllWomen The man who commented on a blog post about Internet misogyny, “Go fuck yourself with a knife you irrational cunt.”

#YesAllWomen Men who insist that their free speech right to call women cunts is violated by women saying it’s sexist & asking them not to.

#YesAllWomen The man who commented on a blog post about my depression, “goddamn you are fucking ugly. Kill yourself.”

#YesAllWomen The Internet harassers I never blogged about, b/c I was told they’d been unusually scary & persistent towards other women.

#YesAllWomen The anti-feminist man who hacked into the private email backchannel of my blogging network, and publicly posted emails from it.

#YesAllWomen The fact that at conferences, I never, ever, EVER say my hotel room number out loud.

#YesAllWomen The fact that I don’t post my location on Facebook unless it’s a big public event with lots of people.

#YesAllWomen The fact that I ask friends not to Facebook about where we are unless it’s a big public event with lots of people.

#YesAllWomen The fact that I get 10x more threats from men who hate me b/c I’m a feminist than believers who hate me b/c I’m an atheist.

#YesAllWomen The fact that all of this is only what I remember offhand.

#YesAllWomen The fact that all this is only the worst of it, there are hundreds of little gropes & threats & invasions I didn’t bother with.

#YesAllWomen The fact that I’m not even mentioning assaults on reproductive rights, the glass ceiling, slut shaming, body policing…

#YesAllWomen … inappopriate sexualization, enforcement of rigid gender roles, rigid & impossible beauty standards, Madonna/whore trope…

#YesAllWomen … under-representation of women in media, sexist representations of women in media, Hollywood boys’ club, the Bechdel test…

#YesAllWomen … or a thousand other forms of sexism that aren’t misogynist violence, or support/ tolerance of misogynist violence.

#YesAllWomen The fact that despite all this,I tend not to think of myself as victim of violence against women,b/c other women have it worse.

#YesAllWomen The fact that I tend not to think of myself as a victim of violence against women, b/c it was only physically bad a few times.

#YesAllWomen The fact that despite all this, I tend not to think of myself as a victim of violence against women, b/c it just seems normal.

Comments

  1. Crimson Clupeidae says

    Sometimes I hate the human race…..

    But, thanks for bringing it up. As much as a lot of people who are comfortable with the status quo are trying to prevent change, not talking about it won’t bring change.

  2. reality says

    Sounds like you’ve got plenty of material to write a new book: “Why Are Feminists So Angry?” I’d wager that it would speak to nearly every woman out there. Any man could also learn from such a book, especially adolescent men whose parents could use it to teach them empathy for women.
    *
    Maybe you’re already writing that and I’m just ignorant of that; if so, my apologies. But if you’re not, it’s definitely a book I’d buy.
    *
    I can tell you that I have no appreciation for what women must go through, though this post and the #YesAllWomen tweets have helped. I was bullied as a child myself, but as a white male I’m sure that I didn’t experience anything compared to what most women go through.

  3. Malachite says

    Good post. For me, a biggie is that protagonists are mostly male. It teaches men and boys that *their* stories, their narratives, are the ones that matter, not women. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was behind a lot of male entitlement, especially when it comes to street harassment and pushing themselves on unwilling women.

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